THE BUSINESS OF EDUCATION - International Indian

[ FROM USA ]
faces, and names and constantly pores over
her address book evoking remembrances and
recollections of the amazing number of people
who fill the pages. Since she lives with her
son, she is content and sees her grandchildren
and other daughter and son when they visit
from the UK and California. This is a perfect,
but rare scenario, a nurturing home base for a
person growing old in a foreign country.
A report states that about 12% of a population
of 2.3 million Indian Americans in the
USA, are seniors. Aging Indian Americans
are the first generation of people who came
to this country in the late sixties and early
seventies. They qualify for health benefits
and limited funding from the Government.
The early immigrants to a large extent have
adapted and merged in the mainstream and
are entitled to all the senior benefits like
Medicare and Social Security but now wonder
where they should retire. The new immigrant
seniors who have come to the United
States to live with their families and enjoy
the companionship of the grandchildren feel
alienated, economically dependent on their
children and miss the Indian rituals, the
simple living back home, servants, friendly
neighbors, and now have to cope with gadgets,
indifference and loneliness. Some face
language and accent problems or they cannot
drive and receive limited or no health
benefits. They encounter family conflicts.
How do they earn respect and be self reliant
and not be a burden on their children? With
their families or in a retirement home? They
have chosen to live in the USA. unlike some
of their friends and relatives, who have gone
back to retire in India. This group which adopted
the USA when they were studying or
working are challenging themselves by staying
on.
But there are problems. Indian seniors feel
lonely since the adult children and grand
children are away the whole day. Every day
they question themselves. How do they cope
with their increasing infirmities? If they live
independently, who will take them to doctors
and hospitals? Their sons and daughters
may have transferable jobs. Would they have
to uproot themselves and start all over again?
What happens if they need convalescent
care? Will the son in law/daughter in law tolerate
their long term illnesses and their dependency
on them? Will they be considered
a liability, a crippling burden on the family?
If they cannot drive will they be permanently
housebound?
You may ask why don’t the children of the
aging community take care of their parents?
This is not always possible. I know of a parent
who is separated from his wife of 50 years. He
lives with the son in Los Angeles because the
daughter in law refused to keep the mother
in law. The elderly lady is forced to live with
another daughter in San Jose in Northern
California, and sees her husband once in six
months when he visits her. Many families
take the Social Security or SSI or even food
stamps (the seniors receive from the Government,)
in return for providing shelter to their
parents. I have heard of sons being indifferent
to the injustices meted out to the parents by
their wives and daughters. I have heard heartrending
stories of parents harassed by a son in
law who resents their presence in the house.
Recently, a horrific incident took place in an
Indian home in the USA where a son took a
hammer and hit his aged father in the head.
He believed that if the father was taken to the
hospital he could qualify for assisted care in
a senior facility.
According to Sohail Inayatullah a political
scientist/futurist, the aged, particularly those
removed from family and community will
be especially prone to mental illnesses. The
World Health Organization estimates that by
2020, depression will be the leading cause of
disability due to a marginalized society.
It’s a frightening scenario to anyone approaching
the sixties. And very soon a mass
of boomers will be nearing retirement. All
they ask for is to enjoy retirement in a secure
and supportive community. Unfortunately,
most senior Indian immigrants do not even
address issues and problems as they hate to
take advantage of counseling, since this may
spotlight their family, and prefer to suffer
without any outside help or intervention.
Enter retirement homes. There are choices
offering flexibility of care and service.
These places run by independent as well as
the Federal Government (Housing Urban
Development Program) is becoming a boon
to those who wish to improve the quality of
life as they grow older. Older people like to
stay in their own home. I visited a Retirement
Home, Leisure World, in Seal Beach
Orange County spread over 500 acres, with
6000 units and housing almost 10,000 retirees.
Anyone over 55, with financial security
L-R: Bobby, Prem Kishore with Prema and Rajmohani: Seniors are like classic old wine to be cherished
can purchase independent one two or three
bedroom condo. When the owner dies or
moves away, the condo can be sold by the
family. This particular facility which I visited
had myriad activities ranging from travel
and discussion focus groups to golf, bridge,
music and gardening groups. There is a bank,
on the premises, a hospital, indoor theatre,
library, fitness centers, restaurants, computer
labs, worship facilities for diverse faiths and
even a shuttle service to ferry you across the
campus. There is 24 hour security service.
Twelve, eighty year old Caucasian women
have founded Glacier Circle in California,
the country’s first elderly co-housing
THE INTERNATIONAL INDIAN 53