Report - Office of the High Commissioner on Human Rights

ANNEX H:
Testimonies
Testimonies on Violence against Women and <strong>the</strong> Right to Housing
Presenters: Merilyn Tahi, Taloi Havini, Cook Islands, Naemah Khan
Merilyn Tahi, Vanuatu
“I want to share my personal story; however, <strong>the</strong>re are many women in Vanuatu who fall into this
situation. I was forced to marry a boy. I had one son and forced to care for three children adopted
by my husband, and 1 son from ano<strong>the</strong>r woman. I was married to him for 26 years. He was a member
<strong>of</strong> parliament for 18 years, including holding <strong>the</strong> positions <strong>of</strong> cabinet minister and speaker <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> house.
When he lost his seat in parliament in 1995, he lost face and wanted to return to his island. He wanted
me to leave my job and return with him to his island. He was a chief and community leader and his
family encouraged me to return and fulfil my wifely roles. I refused. I continued working and earning
for <strong>the</strong> family and sent money home to him. He died in 1997 while I was in Fiji attending a workshop.
I could not return before <strong>the</strong> burial. His family had buried him without me. I returned a week after
his death. When I got home and went to our village, only my family greeted me. I did all <strong>the</strong> traditional
customs. I stayed 10 days, as required under custom and returned after 50 days and again after 100
days, as required by custom. But my in-laws were angry with me for not being <strong>the</strong>re for him. They
wanted me to stay and mourn him for 100 days or 1000 days, to contribute food and meat for those
mourning days, mourn him in dirty clo<strong>the</strong>s and do all that needed to be done in order to guarantee
my son’s rights to <strong>the</strong> land and to guarantee my right to stay in <strong>the</strong> house. But I felt cheated by <strong>the</strong>
family because I found out he had ano<strong>the</strong>r woman in <strong>the</strong> village, who was approved <strong>of</strong> by his family,
while I had been working in Vila and sending him money. He had been on his way to see <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r
woman when his car went <strong>of</strong>f <strong>the</strong> road. He broke his backbone in <strong>the</strong> accident and died. I felt like
when I returned I shouldn’t cry because I felt cheated by him. The traditional practice <strong>of</strong> mourning
requires a lot <strong>of</strong> money, mats, food and time. I did not have such resources and decided not to do it
all but I exchanged <strong>the</strong> pigs, <strong>the</strong> mats, and food with relatives and my family were <strong>the</strong>re.
Afterwards I felt I had to continue my life so I continued to live and work in Vila. But my son and
I were punished by being thrown out from my matrimonial home. All my things were thrown out <strong>of</strong>
my matrimonial house. My son had to take everything into his house. I encouraged my son to go regularly
and clean <strong>the</strong> matrimonial house and care for it. The uncle, who lives in Vila and only visits one month
a year, got angry and refused to allow him to touch anything or take anything from <strong>the</strong> house and
told him to return anything he had borrowed (e.g. lawnmower, light generator etc.). But I told my son,
he is <strong>the</strong> only son so he has full rights to <strong>the</strong> land. He can work on <strong>the</strong> plantation, go to <strong>the</strong> matrimonial
home, use anything in <strong>the</strong> house and visit his fa<strong>the</strong>r’s people. The uncle is using <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r woman’s
son to counter my son’s claim, by encouraging him to go to <strong>the</strong> island and visit <strong>the</strong> family regularly.
I have since found ano<strong>the</strong>r partner. But according to custom, because <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> bride price, I should have
remarried my husband’s bro<strong>the</strong>r, uncle or nephews. So <strong>the</strong> uncle has vowed revenge if I re-marry
someone else, by asking my new partner to give a lot <strong>of</strong> pigs as compensation for <strong>the</strong> bride price that
I was paid at my wedding. I still go to <strong>the</strong> island regularly with my son, but I do not go to my matrimonial
home or my husband’s family. My husband’s sisters no longer speak to me. I have lost everything <strong>the</strong>re.”
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY 137