Report - Office of the High Commissioner on Human Rights

At <strong>the</strong> age <strong>of</strong> 15 my grandfa<strong>the</strong>r found a possible candidate. My grandmo<strong>the</strong>r was arranged to marry
one <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> sons <strong>of</strong> a big land owner in <strong>the</strong> village <strong>of</strong> Vaini.
My grandmo<strong>the</strong>r in her stories to us grandchildren tells <strong>of</strong> how she was just a child when she was
married <strong>of</strong>f. She had absolutely no idea <strong>of</strong> how to be a wife and <strong>the</strong> thought <strong>of</strong> bearing children scared
<strong>the</strong> living daylights out <strong>of</strong> her.
Never<strong>the</strong>less, although her mo<strong>the</strong>r had passed away, her older sister quickly encouraged her to start
bearing children because <strong>the</strong> family that she had married into owned heaps and heaps <strong>of</strong> land and
<strong>the</strong> more sons she had <strong>the</strong> higher her chances <strong>of</strong> getting <strong>the</strong> family land distributed amongst <strong>the</strong>m.
My nanna, <strong>the</strong> incredible woman that she is, ended up having 13 children - 7 boys and 6 girls. She
had more than enough sons to keep her happy knowing that her sons were secured.
BUT what about her daughters Which one <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong>m was my mo<strong>the</strong>r
My mo<strong>the</strong>r – ‘Amelia Lolohea Junior, 1964
My mo<strong>the</strong>r, one <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> most beautiful girls in her village, at <strong>the</strong> age <strong>of</strong> 19 had been arranged to marry
a man from <strong>the</strong> Nuku-‘al<strong>of</strong>a area in 1964. On <strong>the</strong> night <strong>of</strong> her wedding she was forced to prove her
virginity by providing a blood stained sheet to a group <strong>of</strong> anticipated elderly women from her husband’s
family.
Her husband was <strong>the</strong> eldest son and <strong>the</strong>refore rightful heir to <strong>the</strong> family land. In my grandparents
eyes he was a goldmine. My mo<strong>the</strong>r’s wishes or feelings were not taken into account. He would provide
security for my mo<strong>the</strong>r and future sons. My mo<strong>the</strong>r was <strong>the</strong>refore encouraged to bear children
immediately.
She gave birth to my eldest bro<strong>the</strong>r a year after. My mo<strong>the</strong>r was not happy. She was very depressed
and found it hard to fall in love with a man that she hardly knew. When my bro<strong>the</strong>r was three months
old, my mo<strong>the</strong>r returned with her son to her family home back in <strong>the</strong> eastern villages.
Two years later she remarried. This time it was to my fa<strong>the</strong>r, <strong>the</strong> superstar <strong>of</strong> his village. There was a
problem. My fa<strong>the</strong>r was <strong>the</strong> eldest son <strong>of</strong> 12 bro<strong>the</strong>rs and sisters. His family was not in approval
<strong>of</strong> my mo<strong>the</strong>r because <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> fact that she had been married before and especially because she
already had a child. Because <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> non-approval and stress caused by my fa<strong>the</strong>r’s family, coupled with
<strong>the</strong>ir search for better horizons and economic dreams, my parents decided to migrate to New Zealand
in 1969.
Me – ‘Ofa-ki-Levuka Guttenbeil-Likiliki, 2002
25 years later I migrated back to Tonga voluntarily- I guess to find my roots. I married a talented local
in 2002 (almost thirty years after what my mo<strong>the</strong>r had experienced in her first marriage). He too is
<strong>the</strong> eldest son from <strong>the</strong> Nuku’al<strong>of</strong>a area. The cultural ideology connected with land still applies – he
was still regarded as a ‘prize possession’. According to my family members I had made <strong>the</strong> right choice.
Again I was encouraged to bear children a soon as possible to ensure my rights to my husband’s land.
I gave birth to a beautiful a baby girl in July 2003. But as you have all heard, this was not good enough
according to our law governing rights to land. Even <strong>the</strong> naming <strong>of</strong> my daughter is connected to land.
To show our appreciation to land gained through <strong>the</strong> adopted family I had to give <strong>the</strong>m <strong>the</strong> privilege
190 WOMEN’S RIGHTS TO ADEQUATE HOUSEING AND LAND