201504 CM April

SOAPBOX CHALLENGE
MANNERS MAKETH
DIGITAL
Glen Bullivant FCICM has an issue with
smartphones, or rather smartphone users.
SOAPBOX
challenge
YOU may well ask why it is that you
have not heard anything from me
for a little while, and to be honest, I
am going to tell you even if you have
not asked. Hitherto, I have always waited
for the signal from the Journal bunker and
the steer towards the subject matter as
specified by the Editorial Grand Master. The
silence being deafening, I accepted my fall
from grace with only marginal grumpiness –
until the other week, that is.
At the very splendid posh frock do in
London, me and himself exited the venue
at about the same time, me all poise and
elegance and himself, it has to be said,
looking a tad frayed around the edges.
He muttered something about having
just flown in from Dubai that afternoon
by way of explanation, though I suspect
that a glass or three of Chardonnay and
a peck on the cheek from the glamorous
co-host had done little to improve the
jet-lag recovery. “Where’s your article?” – a
command rather than a question. “What
do you want?” – a meek enquiry as I know
my place. Negotiating his way past two
security guards (who would not have been
out of place as extras in Die Hard 5), he
briefly turned his head and said: “get on
your soapbox”.
Now it is funny he should have
said that, because of late, something
has been annoying me. Smartphones.
Now before you start shouting Luddite,
Dinosaur or some such similar derogatory
condemnation of an old duffer, let me be
more precise – smartphone users. I have a
smartphone and I would not be without it.
I love it and I use it, though I would be the
first to confess that perhaps I do not utilise
every function of which it is capable. Be
that as it may, it goes everywhere with me
and I would not be without it (though I do
remember vaguely that somehow or other
we coped before their introduction).
We have all got used to the loud
conversations on trains – a stern look
usually suffices – and we mostly accept
the need to stand right in front of the
baked beans in Sainsburys while taking
instructions digitally from ‘er indoors.
The two smartphone cardinal sins from
my perspective come under the general
headings of awareness and manners.
Awareness – knowledge or perception
of a situation or fact. Credit managers know
all about awareness, or they should do in
so far as knowing what is going on is stock
in trade. Something about the smartphone,
however, appears to shroud awareness in
an impenetrable fog – I see them and their
owners wandering blissfully across Oxford
Street without a care in the world. I know
not whether it is a text received, one being
sent or an ardent desire to reach the next
level in Candy Crush, but both phone and
owner are totally oblivious to big red buses,
black cabs, courier motorcycles or anything
else potentially lethal. If the earphones are
implanted, they cannot hear anything either
other than Ellie Goulding or Mark Ronson
(whoever they are).
The pavement is no safer – they walk,
or rather amble, directly towards me, and
it is for me to take the required avoiding
action because in their now world, I just
do not exist. More annoying is the sixth
sense that they appear, in some cases, to
have developed – a sort of radar, which
means as I move slightly to the left to
prevent collision, they move without reason
it appears to their right. Bump – I am so
sorry, I do beg your pardon. Why am I
apologising?
Manners – a) a way in which a thing is
done or happens; b) a person’s outward
bearing or way of behaving towards others.
This section requires me to put another
soapbox on top of the one I have already
mounted, because smartphones and
manners just do not compute. Consumers
have high demands when it comes to
customer service as indeed do B2B
customers. Credit managers know that as
well – in fact no one understands customer
service better than credit managers.
We may now be heading towards the
standard of customer service we deserve
due to the smartphone owner who has no
regard for manners or common courtesy.
The phone is glued to the ear when at the
railway ticket office, post office counter,
shop, bank or just about anywhere when
the situation requires the smartphone owner
and the member of staff to interact, i.e. talk.
No call is that urgent or important that the
phone cannot be put away for just a minute
while the staff member receives the respect
and courtesy he or she deserves. Bear with,
bear with…..no, not me, matey
.Glen Bullivant FCICM
Do you have an issue worthy of the soapbox challenge? If you do, the editor would love to hear from you.
Send your email to editorial@cicm.com or andrew.morris@cicm.com
The recognised standard in credit management
www.cicm.com April 2015 43