A Life in the Day of Rosemary Booker - The Woody Back to School ...

33
Being spanked live on TV may seem an odd
advertising ploy for a holistic therapy enterprise but
to develop a successful business one must exploit any
opportunities presented.
My particular opportunity arose after I had
appeared in an all-female amateur theatrical
production of a Midsummer’s Nights Dream. I was
cast as Bottom the Weaver.
Some perv from the skank-rags, who I might
add did not comment on my exemplary acting
performance, thought it was witty to dub me ‘Rear of
the Year’. I did not know whether to be flattered or
mortified. All my life I had been joshed and teased by
my chums about my rather noticeable protuberance.
As it happened the ill-mannered maggot did me a
favor.
A jeans company contacted me and offered me
a contract to model their jeans with Bookers Bum
embroidered across the seat. The logo was suitably
designed so that from a distance it looked interchangeable
with my company name. Quite quickly
‘Miss Rear of the Year’ found herself in popular
demand on breakfast chat shows. In return for
allowing me to extol the virtues of my mystical balms
I was generally required to bend over for the
camera’s to show off my wares. Hardly dignified but
sales were booming.
The sponsored spanking was the brainchild of
a marketing guru for a charitable foundation. Viewers
could pledge ten squids a spank for the pleasure of
seeing me being put over the knees of a variety of
celebrities. Once again this was hardly a dignified
process but by the end of the spankathon my