Rude Awakenings - Forest Sangha Publications

^0 P I L G R I M S 06eventually find what I wanted I couldn’t simply buy it; instead, I wasgiven a bill that had to be taken to a long queue for the cashier’s cubicle.When I finally reached this—and luckily I had the right change as forsome unfathomable reason such cashiers never have change—I got a“chittee.” This had to be taken to the queue for the packaging counter,where eventually I could exchange my chittee for my purchases, whichby now had been wrapped in brown paper and string.So I struggled round the store, befuddled by lack of sleep and jetlag,confused by India, driven by desire for all this fabulous stuff, andinvolved in a tortuous internal debate over whether I should be buyingthe boring and impractical white clothing that I thought I ought, or thereally neat brown speckled cloth I really wanted. We had discussed myattire before leaving. A monk had suggested that I should go as an anagarika,someone halfway to becoming a monk. I asked Ajahn Sucittowhat he thought of the idea in a way that made it easy to guess that Ihoped he would dismiss it. However, Ajahn Sucitto felt I should at leastlook like a religious pilgrim: “You could either shave your head or wearwhite.” Both ideas sent shivers through my mind. The white clothwould take so much work to keep clean, to say nothing of how silly I feltI would look. For some reason at the time I thought it would be easierto shave my head, but I was having doubts. In my befuddled state, partof me felt I should be getting white clothing, while another thought theidea silly and best ignored. So I came away with far too much in everyshade from white to brown. My heart sank as I looked at all this stuffback at the rest house. The feeling of excitement and greed had ebbed,and I was left wondering what to do with it all.Eventually I decided to take some white, but mostly the coloured,clothing, and an off-white wrap near enough to white to wear when Imight need to look like a pilgrim. The rest I would get rid of. As to shavingmy head, I decide to leave that till Lumbini, the first of the holyplaces. That would be a more appropriate place to do it. It was also agood excuse to put it off.1 9