Hofstadter, Dennett - The Mind's I

Software 255tentative first sip. He wished he could remember the box number the cashier had just toldhim. Numbers wouldn't stay still for him anymore. It was hard to believe he’d ever been acybernetician. His memory ranged back to his first robots and how they’d learned tohop..'Food drop's late again," Farker was saying. "And I hear there's a new murder cultup in Daytona. They're called the Little Kidders." He wondered if Cobb could hear him.Cobb was just standing there with empty colorless eyes, a yellow stain of sherry on thedense white hair around his lips."Food drop," Cobb said, suddenly coming back. He had a way of reentering aconversation by confidently booming out the last phrase that had registered. "I've still gota good supply.""But be sure to eat some of the new food when it comes," Farker cautioned. "Forthe vaccines. I'll tell Annie to remind you.""Why is everybody so interested in staying alive? I left my wife and came downhere to drink and die in peace. She can't wait for me to kick off. So why-" Cobb's voicecaught. The fact of the matter was that he was terrified of death. He took a quick,medicinal slug of sherry."If you were peaceful, ou wouldn't drink so much," Farker said mildly. "Drinkingis the sign' of an unresolved conflict.""No kidding, " Cobb said heavily. In the golden warmth of the sun, the sherry hadtaken quick effect. "Here's an unresolved conflict for you." He ran a fingernail down thevertical white scar on his furry chest. "I don't have the money for another second-handheart. In a year or two this cheapie's going to poop out on me."Farker grimaced. "So? Use your two years."Cobb ran his finger back up the scar, as if zipping it up. "I've seen what it's like,Farker. I've had a taste of it. It's the worst thing there is." He shuddered at the darkmemory-teeth, ragged clouds-and fell silent.Farker glanced at his watch. Time to get going or Cynthia would ..."You know what Jimi Hendrix said?" Cobb asked. Recalling the quote brought the oldresonance back into his voice. " `When it's my time to die, I'm going to be the one doingit. So as long as I'm alive, you let me live my way.' "Farker shook his head. "Face it, Cobb, if you drank less you'd get a lot more out of life."He raised his hand to cut 'off his friend's reply. "But I've got to get home. Bye bye."'Bye."Cobb walked to the end of the asphalt and over a low dune to the edge of thebeach. No one was there today, and he sat down under his favourite palm tree.