LORD. PI.EAS f. HEL P M E T O CHANG E(yY/Z/nen Angel a decide d t o <strong>change</strong>, he r friend s fel t th e// quake . Fo r a year or two , she ha d suspecte d tha t so<strong>me</strong> -thing wasn' t right—tha t perhap s a dysfunctional childhood ha daffected her adulthoo d behaviors . Plague d b y insecurities an dhyper-sensitivity, sh e routinel y pushe d friend s and coworker s t othe edge b y questioning thei r motive s and needin g constant reas -surance.It <strong>to</strong>ok gri t t o b e Angela's friend. Sh e delighte d u s wit hwarmth an d humo r an d the n clobbere d u s with accusations .So<strong>me</strong>how, th e good ti<strong>me</strong> s outweighed th e bad, and w e stuck wit hher. (No t tha t w e wore wings. We worked i n th e sam e offic e withAngela. We couldn't leave. )Still, when Angel a announce d sh e ha d starte d therapy , w esighed wit h relief . Sh e wanted t o find peac e fo r what churne dinside her . W e wanted tha t fo r Angela, <strong>to</strong>o . W e hoped fo r he rbest, never suspecting we would ge t the worst .Nobody needed t o as k Angela abou t he r therap y appoint -<strong>me</strong>nts. Eac h mornin g afte r a session, sh e looke d a wreck an dacted eve n worse . O n thos e mornings , sh e gloomily avoide d us .Then gradually , for the next fe w days, her emotions spille d out a sstrong an d unpredictabl e a s our Midwes t winters. I t <strong>to</strong>o k abou t aweek t o ge t th e "real " Angela back , bu t the n th e cycl e bega nagain.We learne d t o han g o n fo r the rumble .As Angela worke d throug h th e grie f o f a tattered child -hood, w e watched he r cry . When sh e confronte d disappoint -<strong>me</strong>nts, w e encountered he r anger . A s she pulle d awa y fro mpeople pleasing , w e got slam<strong>me</strong> d b y her assertiveness . Whe n sh ewrestled with lo w self-esteem, we felt her sha<strong>me</strong> .About a year later, though, Angela's emotions began t o sub -side. A warm an d lovin g perso n showe d u p fo r work fa r mor eoften tha n th e insecur e woma n w e ha d <strong>to</strong>lerated . Angel a<strong>change</strong>d. Sh e starte d t o lov e th e woman Go d create d he r t o be .And s o did we .ngela's s<strong>to</strong>ry isn't unusual. When w e begin t o <strong>change</strong>, al lvr ^y kind s o f emotions spil l out , mos t o f which w e can' tim<strong>me</strong>diately control . Change uncork s what's bottled insid e o f us ,and there' s no predicting what's lurking within .50'
WHEN TH E INSID E SPILL S OU TAlso, Angela's emotions wer e necessary . Emotion s hel p u ssort ou t wha t needs t o b e <strong>change</strong>d. W e can depen d o n the m t oguide u s <strong>to</strong>ward healing . They remin d u s o f our humanit y an dour nee d for God. They signal that , yes, we've entered th e chang eprocess.Still, there's n o excus e fo r pum<strong>me</strong>ling peopl e aroun d us .(Angela wa s lucky we valued our jobs and paychecks , or w e migh tnot hav e stuc k with her. ) Wit h th e hel p o f God's Word an d Hi sSpirit, we can gai n insigh t t o our emotion s and graduall y captur ethem befor e the y <strong>to</strong>rped o everyon e i n sight . (An d lear n t orequest forgivenes s when the y do. )So when w e expect ourselve s t o <strong>change</strong>, w e can anticipat ethe emotions , <strong>to</strong>o . An d whe n w e hang o n fo r th e quake , mor eoften than not , a lovable person wil l ascend from the debris .EHPERSONAL CHECKPOIN TIn Part Three, explore the emotions common t o die <strong>change</strong> process .But first, answer these questions :1. Wha t emotions hav e you fel t in th e <strong>change</strong> process ?2. Ho w do you feel about your emotional reactions ?3. Ho w might yo u lear n t o respond rathe r tha n reac t when you remotions spill ?51
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ALSO B Y JUDITH COUCHMA NGetting a
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NOTES31. A.W . Tozer , Man: The Dwe