a •fON TH E HABIT O FChange is difficult enough, so don7imagine things worse than they are.J M es , w e went t o schoo l i n th e sea , thoug h yo u mayn' tbelieve it— ""I never sai d I didn't!" interrupted Alice ."You did," said th e Moc k Turtle ."Hold you r <strong>to</strong>ngue! " adde d th e Gryphon , befor e Alic ecould spea k again. The Moc k Turtle went on ."We had th e bes t o f educations—in fact , we went t o schoo levery day— ""I've been t o a day-school, <strong>to</strong>o, " said Alice . "Yo u needn't b eso proud a s all that. ""What extras?" asked th e Moc k Turtle, a little anxiously ."Yes," said Alice, "w e learned Frenc h an d music. ""And washing?" said the Moc k Turtle ."Certainly not!" said Alice indignantly ."Ah! Then your s wasn't a really good school, " said the Moc kTurtle, i n a <strong>to</strong>ne of great relief . "Now, at ours, they had, at the en dof the bill , 'French, music , and washing —extra.'""You couldn't hav e wanted i t much," sai d Alice , "livin g a tthe bot<strong>to</strong>m o f the sea. "SO'
STUMBLING TOWAR D FREEDO M"I couldn't affor d <strong>to</strong> learn it, " said th e Moc k Turtle wit h asigh. " I only <strong>to</strong>ok the regular course. ""What was that?" enquired Alice ."Reeling and Writhing , o f course, t o begin with, " the Moc kTurtle replied , "an d the n th e differen t branches o f Arith<strong>me</strong>tic —Ambition, Distraction , Uglification , and Derision. ""I never hear d o f 'Uglification,' " Alice ventured t o say ."What i s it?"The Gyphro n lifte d up bot h it s paws i n surprise . "Neve rheard o f uglifying!" it exclai<strong>me</strong>d. "Yo u know what t o beautify is, Isuppose?""Yes," said Alic e doubtfully , "i t <strong>me</strong>ans—<strong>to</strong>—make—any -thing—prettier.""Well, then," the Grypho n wen t on, "i f you don't kno w wha t<strong>to</strong> uglify is, you are a simple<strong>to</strong>n." 2 7CJj/l/ ne n Alic e fel l in<strong>to</strong> Wonderland, sh e entered a world o f/ 7 / fantas y and confusion . And evidently , a place where resi -dents considered "uglification " an essentia l fo r living.Alice neve r receive d th e answe r t o her questio n abou t th e<strong>me</strong>aning o f uglification. Bu t t o continue th e Gryphon's parallel ,"<strong>to</strong> uglify " most likel y <strong>me</strong>ans "t o make thing s uglier. " And I suspecttha t man y o f us, as it relates <strong>to</strong> ourselves, practice uglificatio nregularly.We're especiall y susceptibl e t o uglification whe n we'r e try -ing t o <strong>change</strong>. Afte r we uncover a need t o alter our behavior , w efocus on what' s wrong with ourselve s t o th e poin t o f distraction .Under a magnifying glass of scrutiny, w e grow horrified with ou rundesirable features .Uglifiers turn uncomfortabl e circumstances int o untenabl esituations. Whe n confronte d wit h thei r nee d t o <strong>change</strong>, the yclaim, " I can't believ e I have thi s problem. .. . I don't d o any -thing right. . . . I' m a horrible person! "It's tru e that , t o <strong>change</strong>, w e need t o face the trut h abou <strong>to</strong>urselves. (B y now i n thi s book, I'v e made tha t clear! ) Bu t there' sa balance between acceptin g th e truth an d bludgeonin g ourselve swith it . Anything that' s beaten u p get s ugly , and i f we constantl yharangue abou t what' s wrong wit h us , we'll deepe n instea d o fheal ou r problems . Eventually , w e can tur n int o th e unmanage -able woma n who m w e describe. It' s a n inevitabl e self-fulfillingprophecy, i f not i n reality , at least i n our minds .81
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JUDITH COUCHMA N
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ALSO B Y JUDITH COUCHMA NGetting a
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LORD, PLEAS E HEL P M E T O CHANG E
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Getting past the fear of trying and
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INTRODUCTIONnatural powe r al l ca
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LORD, PLEASE HELP ME TO CHANGEeliev
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We begin to change by forsaking den
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LORD, PLEASE HELP ME TO CHANGEike m
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Sometimes God uses other peopleto c
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LORD, PLEASE HELP ME TO CHANGE2. I
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Refusing to change often damagesour
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LORD, PLEASE HELP ME TO CHANGEThese
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When we uncover our need to change,
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LORD, PLEAS E HEL P M E T O CHANG E
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Change is hard work, but the Lordof
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LORD, PLEASE HELP ME TO CHANGEGod h
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A TRU E VIE WOF YouGetting realisti
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A TRU E VIE W O F Yo uConsequently,
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G lofrjPart 1 : STARTUNG INT O TH E
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NOTES31. A.W . Tozer , Man: The Dwe