StarCat/CatStar

I Don’t Want to Be Sad Today
By Diana May Waldman
I don't want to be sad today. I don't want to linger … I want to be aware and
remember … want to keep my compassion, empathy, cry, then let it go. I
don't want to hear the blare of the television, the noise of the radio ... the
talking heads. Don't want to listen to the arguing - the Republicans - the
Democrats. Should we take the refugees or not? When we fail to remember
when we wouldn't take the Jews and they died. And how we have so many
Vets that are homeless and we seem to always be caught between a rock
and hard space. I don't want to see the memes of people terrified someone
is going to take the Christ out a Christmas or take their fucking guns. I
don't want to judge you, roll my eyes and declare that I see so much fear in
you. That is what scares me. That would you die for being right.
And I hate pretending that I love Thanksgiving ... hate pretending that we
gorge ourselves and forget what really happened. Hate knowing the truth.
I don't want to be in a mall, pushed up against someone else carrying
packages of things we don't need or really want, but feel we should have. I
don't want the "best of."
I don't want to slice an apple and think about Monsanto or fear chewing on
a blade of grass.
I don't like poverty and the children who live in it --and the people who
judge those on food stamps, when kids have to eat.
I don't like that sometimes I say stupid things out of fear. Or that I love too
much sometimes and people don't always love me back. I don't like that at
times - I am this open bleeding wound wanting to fix everything all the
damn freaking time.
I don't like that I trust way too easily and take people at face value and
then feel crushed when they aren't who I thought they were.
I don't like that moms used to be able to stay home and raise the children,
giving them the family values and morals.
Dad or Mom should be able to stay home until kids go to school ... and
young people have to work twice as hard just to afford a home, while
landlords gouge the rent.