January 2017

HEALTH
ADJUSTING TO
by Michele Jacobson, L.M.H.C.
Change is a fact of life. At home, at work,
and in the world around us, the one
thing we can always count on is that
things will change. We celebrate changes that
bring us pleasure, such as births and weddings. Yet, many of
life’s changes are difficult: a job loss, a divorce, or a death in the
family. These situations teach us lessons that success never
can, exposing us to loss and acceptance. As a result, we often
discover our own unexpected strengths, talents, and resources.
Change provides us with opportunities to re-define our lives,
jobs, and relationships in new and creative ways and the ability
for true growth.
To deal effectively with change it is important to
realize that every change in our lives involves a
period of transition. Before you can experience
new beginnings, a person must go through an
ending and discomfort for the in-between time.
The best way to prepare yourself for change is to become
comfortable with the process, so you can develop better coping
strategies to help you be successful in your life change.
Initially, people can expect to have confusion, uncertainty, or
fear about what the future holds. During this stage of change,
remind yourself that change is a natural part of life. Create “todo”
lists to keep goals clear and review your list weekly.
In the next stage, the significance of the change is downplayed.
You tell others you are doing fine, and that the change is “no big
deal”. To lower the impact during this time, tell yourself the truth
about what is happening, and list the gains and losses that have
resulted from the change in your life. Above all, allow yourself to
be sad about the change. A good cry can be cathartic during
this time.
Many individuals find the third stage to be the lowest point in
a transition. You may feel some anger, discouragement, and
resentment. To help yourself, don’t be afraid to experience your
feelings and acknowledge them. Create and surround yourself
with a good support system of encouraging friends and family.
Develop a positive vision of what your life will be like when you
have finished this transition, and think of it daily.
This next stage is all about letting go of the past. Until now you
probably have focused on the way things used to be. Now you
are ready to accept the change and start preparing for your
future. To do this effectively, rip up your losses and tape your list
of gains someplace you will see it often. Prepare with a positive
attitude, new skills, and any other resources you feel can be
helpful and help you move forward. Take care of yourself. Look
for opportunities to celebrate the small successes.
During the fifth stage, the sadness has been decreased and
you begin to feel more energetic. This is the time to seek new
experiences, volunteer, take up a new hobby, or enroll in a class
you have always wanted to take. Find ways to use the skills you
have gained. Spend time with people who have experienced
similar changes and continue to surround yourself with a strong
support network.
The final stage is how to make the most of change. Now is the
time to complete a review by looking back on the discomfort the
change produced, and what you have learned along the way.
Uncertainty
has been
replaced with
possibilities.
Change has
now become
a natural part
of your life
that can be
embraced
by keeping
a positive
attitude,
focusing on
the new you
and striving
to continue to
accept, adjust,
and achieve.
Michele Jacobson, L.M.H.C. has more than 17 years of clinical
experience providing counseling with individuals, children and
families. She is available for in- home or office based services
and can be reached at 954-401-6173.
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JANUARY 2017