HEALTH ADJUSTING TO by Michele Jacobson, L.M.H.C. Change is a fact of life. At home, at work, and in the world around us, the one thing we can always count on is that things will change. We celebrate changes that bring us pleasure, such as births and weddings. Yet, many of life’s changes are difficult: a job loss, a divorce, or a death in the family. These situations teach us lessons that success never can, exposing us to loss and acceptance. As a result, we often discover our own unexpected strengths, talents, and resources. Change provides us with opportunities to re-define our lives, jobs, and relationships in new and creative ways and the ability for true growth. To deal effectively with change it is important to realize that every change in our lives involves a period of transition. Before you can experience new beginnings, a person must go through an ending and discomfort for the in-between time. The best way to prepare yourself for change is to become comfortable with the process, so you can develop better coping strategies to help you be successful in your life change. Initially, people can expect to have confusion, uncertainty, or fear about what the future holds. During this stage of change, remind yourself that change is a natural part of life. Create “todo” lists to keep goals clear and review your list weekly. In the next stage, the significance of the change is downplayed. You tell others you are doing fine, and that the change is “no big deal”. To lower the impact during this time, tell yourself the truth about what is happening, and list the gains and losses that have resulted from the change in your life. Above all, allow yourself to be sad about the change. A good cry can be cathartic during this time. Many individuals find the third stage to be the lowest point in a transition. You may feel some anger, discouragement, and resentment. To help yourself, don’t be afraid to experience your feelings and acknowledge them. Create and surround yourself with a good support system of encouraging friends and family. Develop a positive vision of what your life will be like when you have finished this transition, and think of it daily. This next stage is all about letting go of the past. Until now you probably have focused on the way things used to be. Now you are ready to accept the change and start preparing for your future. To do this effectively, rip up your losses and tape your list of gains someplace you will see it often. Prepare with a positive attitude, new skills, and any other resources you feel can be helpful and help you move forward. Take care of yourself. Look for opportunities to celebrate the small successes. During the fifth stage, the sadness has been decreased and you begin to feel more energetic. This is the time to seek new experiences, volunteer, take up a new hobby, or enroll in a class you have always wanted to take. Find ways to use the skills you have gained. Spend time with people who have experienced similar changes and continue to surround yourself with a strong support network. The final stage is how to make the most of change. Now is the time to complete a review by looking back on the discomfort the change produced, and what you have learned along the way. Uncertainty has been replaced with possibilities. Change has now become a natural part of your life that can be embraced by keeping a positive attitude, focusing on the new you and striving to continue to accept, adjust, and achieve. Michele Jacobson, L.M.H.C. has more than 17 years of clinical experience providing counseling with individuals, children and families. She is available for in- home or office based services and can be reached at 954-401-6173. 100 JANUARY <strong>2017</strong>
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