Uncle Andy's Digest - January 2018
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Uncle Andy's Digest - January 2018

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<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

JANUARY<br />

<strong>2018</strong><br />

EST. 1996<br />

Japanese Cuisine<br />

LA’s One & Only True<br />

Habachi Experience!<br />

Live Music Every week!<br />

Join us Thursday Nights 7–9pm<br />

Matt Fournier 1/4<br />

Ron Bergeron 1/11<br />

Scott Kenison 1/18<br />

Emily Torres 1/25<br />

Ladies Night Every<br />

Thursday!<br />

40 East Ave., Lewiston • 207-795-6888 • www.sea40me.com<br />

Richard Moylan<br />

(207) 777-0050<br />

791 Kittyhawk Ave.<br />

Unit 5, Auburn<br />

richardmoylan@allstate.com<br />

Insurance and coverages subject to terms. qualifications and availability. Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance<br />

Company, Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, Illinois © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company<br />

207-782-7113<br />

Get Your FREE<br />

Quote Today!<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandautobody.com<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 1

Print Dead?<br />

Not Here!<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> is still vital and<br />

effective in a digital world.<br />

Circulation<br />

It’s true many daily papers have seen their<br />

circulation decline. The <strong>Digest</strong>’s circulation<br />

has remained consistent for many years and<br />

shows no signs of decline. We have a 97.6%<br />

pick up rate! The national average is 83%.<br />

97 .6%<br />

of our magazines make<br />

it into the hands of your<br />

consumer!<br />

Readership<br />

Our readership is as high as ever! We have<br />

2.6 readers for every magazine that is<br />

picked up. That’s 25,300 impressions your<br />

ad gets every month! 53% of our readers<br />

keep their <strong>Digest</strong> for one month or more!<br />

The national average is 30%.<br />

53 %<br />

hang onto their <strong>Digest</strong><br />

for a month or longer!<br />

Purchase Intent<br />

In this age of Amazon Prime and other online<br />

retailers, it’s incredible so many people<br />

plan their shopping activities using our free<br />

local magazine. 81% of our readers frequently<br />

purchase products or services from<br />

ads seen in <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong>.<br />

81 %<br />

frequently purchase<br />

products or services<br />

from ads in the <strong>Digest</strong>.<br />

25,300 Readers monthly*<br />

Call 207-783-7039 to advertise in <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong>!<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

*Source of Data - 2017 CVC Publication Audit Report<br />

2 *Circulation<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong><br />

Verification<br />

783-7039<br />

Council (CVC) is an independent, third party reporting audit company. CVC audits and data are an unbiased source of circulation information in our market.<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo

You are never too old to reinvent yourself.<br />

MODERN WOODMEN<br />

OF AMERICA<br />

JANUARY <strong>2018</strong><br />

Saturday, <strong>January</strong> 6th<br />

Knights of Columbus<br />

Bean Supper<br />

4:30 - 6pm<br />

Max-Gill Hall, Sabattus<br />

Members & Guest: $8.00<br />

Wednesday, <strong>January</strong> 10th<br />

Schemeengees<br />

4 - 7pm<br />

551 Lincoln St. Lewiston<br />

Mem: $9 Guest: $10<br />

Thursday, <strong>January</strong> 11th<br />

Mandarin<br />

11am - 1pm<br />

750 Sabattus St. Lewiston<br />

Mem: $5.50 Guest: $6.50<br />

Tuesday, <strong>January</strong> 16th<br />

Luiggi’s<br />

4 - 7pm<br />

63 Sabattus St. Lewiston<br />

Mem: $4.50 Guest: $5.50<br />

Tuesday, <strong>January</strong> 23rd<br />

Roy’s Breakfast<br />

7 - 10am<br />

5 Washington Ave. Auburn<br />

Mem: $4 Guest: $5<br />

Wednesday, <strong>January</strong> 24th<br />

Fielder’s Choice<br />

4 - 7pm<br />

680 Minot Ave. Auburn<br />

Members & Guests: $2<br />

Tuesday, <strong>January</strong> 30th<br />

Dairy Queen<br />

4 - 7pm<br />

661 Minot Ave. Auburn<br />

Mem: $4 Guest: $5<br />

Aero Air Park 1 hr Passes<br />

Mem: $6.00 Guest: $8.00<br />

Maine Family Snow Tube<br />

Park @ Lost Valley<br />

2 hr passes<br />

Mem: $11.50 Guest: $12.50<br />

TICKETS ARE LIMITED – NO RE-<br />

TURNS & NO REFUNDS ALLOWED<br />

Prices, Dates and Menu are subject<br />

to change. If additional info is needed,<br />

please call our office, please do<br />

not call restaurants. All activities can<br />

only be attended at the times listed.<br />

*************************<br />

Tickets need to be purchased at the<br />

Modern Woodmen District Office,<br />

184 Webster Street, Lewiston for all<br />

activities and can only be picked up the<br />

week prior to the activity, Mon – Thurs 9am<br />

- 4pm & Friday 9am - Noon; (excluding<br />

Holidays). Call 782-1833.<br />

t.<br />

The new year means nothing if you’re still in love with your comfort zone.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 3

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

is published by the first<br />

Friday of every month by Maine<br />

Mountain Ocean Group, Inc.<br />

with offices at 9 Grove Street,<br />

Auburn, Maine, USA.<br />

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.<br />

Published and distributed since<br />

1996 throughout Central Maine<br />

and mailed to subscribers all over<br />

the Free World. Subscriptions<br />

are $30/year.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys<strong>Digest</strong>.com<br />

Office: 207-783-7039<br />

UAD Super Heroes<br />

SPIDY<br />

TIM<br />

HULK<br />

SMASH<br />

THOMAS<br />

CAPTAIN<br />

JIMBO<br />

WONDER<br />

WOMAN<br />

PAM<br />

IRONSIDES<br />

STEVE<br />

FREE CONSULTATIONS<br />

affordable dentures<br />

Poorly fitting or broken dentures repaired<br />

on-site, usually same-day service!<br />

801 Webster Street, Lewiston • SmileAgainDentures.com<br />

514-0660<br />

• We now offer Care Credit<br />

• Most Dental Insurances Accepted<br />

• We also accept Credit & Debit Cards<br />

• Not a MaineCare Provider<br />

Also see us for:<br />

• Full Dentures<br />

• Immediate Dentures<br />

• Partial Dentures<br />

• Rebases<br />

• Relines<br />

• Repairs<br />

• All work done in house,<br />

including metal frameworks<br />

smile again dentures<br />

Or email us at:smileagaindentures@gmail.com<br />

Mike & Joe<br />

Adkins,<br />

licensed<br />

denturists<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

4<br />

While <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> tries very hard to<br />

ensure the accuracy of the information in our<br />

client’s advertisements and our publication in<br />

general, we are not responsible for vendor<br />

availability, typographical errors, technical<br />

inaccuracies, product pricing errors, or<br />

omissions.<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

Like our name<br />

implies, we’ll<br />

make you<br />

Smile Again!<br />

This is your year to sparkle.<br />

UAD Proof July, Oct 2017, Jan <strong>2018</strong><br />

Page 4<br />

Te<br />

pr<br />

M<br />

fo<br />

in

We worry about tomorrow like it’s promised.<br />

Out ‘n About at the<br />

Chapman House<br />

during their Christmas<br />

celebration<br />

It’s a<br />

party going on<br />

here!<br />

Jeanne Grady<br />

The greatest prison people live in, is in the fear of what other people think.<br />

Rene Goulet<br />

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Joylene Goulet<br />

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Did You Know? A scallop has 35 blue eyes.<br />

Call Today!<br />

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Mary Camire,<br />

Jeanne, Judy &<br />

Marc Collette<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 5

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> received this email from one of<br />

its fans. “...It’s so funny to see the ADDRESS (9 Grove St.<br />

Auburn), since my husband grew up there and we got married<br />

in front of the fireplace... It’s nice to know Jimbo and the crew<br />

use “our special place”...”<br />

NOW<br />

HIRING!<br />

Phil & Sue Bizier were married in what is now the offices of<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong>. They were married August 27, 1987, nine<br />

years before the <strong>Digest</strong> had been invented. Phil Bizier, his brother<br />

Dave, & their family grew up in the house pictured above.<br />

Editor’s Note: We were thrilled to receive the note AND these<br />

special photos of what is now our office.<br />

J<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

6<br />

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Certified Service<br />

Limit 1 per order, not to be combined w/ other offers.<br />

Expires Jan. 31, <strong>2018</strong>. Restrictions may apply.<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

Maine’s Favorite Truck Dealership<br />

Certified Service<br />

$<br />

20 OFF<br />

with any maintenance<br />

of $ 100 or more.<br />

946 Center St. Auburn 784-3503<br />

Limit 1 per order, not to be combined w/ other offers.<br />

Expires Jan. 31, <strong>2018</strong>. Restrictions may apply.<br />

946 Center St. Auburn 784-3503<br />

Four Tire rotation<br />

& balance<br />

ONLY $<br />

29.95<br />

Certified Service<br />

Limit 1 per order, not to be combined w/ other offers.<br />

Expires Jan. 31, <strong>2018</strong>. Restrictions may apply.<br />

DealerRater.com<br />

& Cars.com<br />

Certified Service<br />

$<br />

10 OFF<br />

any service repair<br />

946 Center St. Auburn 784-3503<br />

Limit 1 per order, not to be combined w/ other offers.<br />

Expires Jan. 31, <strong>2018</strong>. Restrictions may apply.<br />

Rt. 4 Center St, Auburn • 207.784.3503 • 1.800.696.0766<br />

www.emersonchevy.com • M-F 8am-7pm; Sat 8am-5pm<br />

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”<br />

– Jennifer Unlimited<br />

M

f<br />

.<br />

ed<br />

w<br />

f<br />

ne<br />

th-<br />

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e<br />

e<br />

-<br />

ly.<br />

When does hibernation start? Because I’m 100% participating in that.<br />

207-777-8000<br />

Hours: Tues. - Thurs. 11a-8p • Fri. & Sat. 11a-9p • Sun. 11a-8p<br />

Main St. Music Lessons<br />

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We’ll take care of ALL your music needs!<br />

Vito Clarinets • Gemeinhardt Flutes<br />

LP Percussion • Ukulele’s & Tuners<br />

Guitar Strings • Instrument Stands<br />

• Rico ReedsVic Firth Drum Sticks &<br />

Blue Juice Valve Oil<br />

376-3376<br />

134 Main St., Auburn<br />

www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com<br />

Say yes to new adventures.<br />

Stop by and say<br />

“Hi” to Nancy!<br />

Join Us for Super Bowl Sunday!<br />

Watch the game here<br />

2 - 55” TV’s<br />

Limited Seating<br />

Take-Out Available for Super Bowl Sunday - 11a - 10p<br />

A Dream<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

Jenna was taking an<br />

afternoon nap on New<br />

Year’s Eve before the<br />

festivities. After she<br />

woke up, she confided<br />

to Max, her husband,<br />

“I just dreamed that you<br />

gave me a diamond<br />

ring for a New Year’s<br />

present. What do you<br />

think it all means?”<br />

“Aha, you’ll know tonight,”<br />

answered Max<br />

smiling broadly.<br />

At midnight, as the<br />

New Year was chiming,<br />

Max approached<br />

Jenna and handed<br />

her small package.<br />

Delighted and excited<br />

she opened it quickly.<br />

There in her hand rested<br />

a book entitled: “The<br />

meaning of dreams.”<br />

Daddy’s<br />

Room<br />

Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />

One evening during a<br />

snowstorm, the power<br />

had gone out and a<br />

mother was tucking<br />

her small boy into bed.<br />

She was about to turn<br />

off the light when he<br />

asked with a tremor<br />

in his voice, “Mommy,<br />

will you sleep with me<br />

tonight?” The mother<br />

smiled and gave him a<br />

reassuring hug.<br />

“I can’t dear,” she said.<br />

“I have to sleep in<br />

Daddy’s room.”<br />

A long silence was<br />

broken at last by a<br />

shaken little voice<br />

saying, “The big sissy.”<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 7

Out ‘n About at the<br />

Chapman House<br />

during their Christmas<br />

celebration<br />

Can you<br />

turn the flash<br />

down on that<br />

thing?<br />

There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.<br />

International Paper is Now Hiring<br />

Manufacturing Jobs in Auburn<br />

Production starting @ $ 16.53/hr<br />

PLUS shift differential<br />

Benefits<br />

Medical/Dental, 401K, Pension,<br />

Vacation & More!<br />

Dot Wilson<br />

Also Hiring<br />

Class A Drivers!<br />

Class A CDL required<br />

No Overnight Driving!<br />

Applications accepted online: www.ipaper.com • Careers, search open positions, location: Maine<br />

© 2017 International Paper Company. All rights reserved. International Paper is an Equal Opportunity Employer - Minorities/Females/Individuals with Disabilities/Veterans.<br />

Lorraine Bellavance<br />

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.<br />

Rita Faucher<br />

Sherry Giberti &<br />

Joyce Poole<br />

D<br />

Ca<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

8<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

My girlfriend says that I am snoopy. Maybe she meant it differently when she wrote<br />

it in her diary.

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<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

DadsPlaceCatering.com<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 9

New Year<br />

Lecture<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

On New Year’s Eve,<br />

Daniel was in no<br />

shape to drive, so he<br />

sensibly left his car<br />

in the parking lot and<br />

walked home. As he<br />

was wobbling along,<br />

he was stopped by a<br />

policeman.<br />

“What are you doing<br />

out here at four o’clock<br />

in the morning?” asked<br />

the police officer.<br />

“I’m on my way to a<br />

lecture,” answered<br />

Daniel.<br />

“And who on earth,<br />

in their right mind, is<br />

going to give a lecture<br />

at this time on New<br />

Year’s?” inquired<br />

the policeman<br />

sarcastically.<br />

“My wife,” slurred<br />

Daniel grimly.<br />

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Accepting New<br />

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Out ‘n About with Lewiston PAL at the Colisee for the Boston Bruins Greats Holiday Hockey Game<br />

H<br />

2<br />

Seeing you at the helm of your life, personally & professionally<br />

Invest in YOU this Year!<br />

“Tracy taught me skills that increased<br />

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– Stefanie Mahr-Damien, Owner of Refresh<br />

Tracy Corey, Board Certified Coach<br />

207.576.0788 • www.helmcc.com<br />

Y<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

10<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

My boss does not tolerate any beards or mustaches. He is a real shave driver.

e<br />

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.”<br />

— Ralph Waldo Emerson<br />

HAPPY NEW YEAR!<br />

Thank You for a great 2017 - we look forward to serving you in <strong>2018</strong>!<br />

SABATTUS MAIN<br />

STREET MARKET<br />

For take-out, groceries, fresh<br />

meats, cold beer & more!<br />

2 Main Street, Sabattus<br />

375-8502<br />

OPEN 7 Days 6am - 8pm<br />

Main Street Market Staff<br />

Out ‘n About at the<br />

Chapman House<br />

during their Christmas<br />

celebration<br />

Tammy Ogden &<br />

Elaine Biron<br />

dancing the night away<br />

Has anyone<br />

seen Santa<br />

Claus?<br />

May not be combined with daily specials. Exp 1.31.18<br />

Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?<br />

Tammy Ogden<br />

You’re on<br />

his naughty list,<br />

Tammy.<br />

Androscoggin<br />

& Cumberland<br />

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Call Today!<br />

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No Experience Necessary! Train Today, Work Tomorrow!<br />

www.atworkpersonnel.com<br />

My skiing skills are really going downhill.<br />

Ashley Moore<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 11

G<br />

S<br />

Ha<br />

w<br />

Out ‘n About at the<br />

Chapman House<br />

during their Christmas<br />

celebration<br />

Great people do things before they are ready.<br />

TIME TO TALK ABOUT SELLING?<br />

Our Inventory is Selling Fast!<br />

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15<br />

Le<br />

7<br />

gr<br />

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• Single or Multi-Level<br />

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• One Loan, No<br />

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Lucille Cates<br />

Rosemary,<br />

did you comb your<br />

hair?<br />

Jon Mercier<br />

Principal Broker<br />

Bill Turner<br />

Broker<br />

Mark Turner<br />

Project Manager<br />

Brandon Caruso<br />

Sales Agent<br />

Rod Charest<br />

Sales Agent<br />

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.<br />

Rosemary Camire<br />

Knight with mom,<br />

Mary Carmire<br />

I tried to<br />

tell her.<br />

Po<br />

w/ m<br />

S<br />

Gr<br />

w/ ap<br />

pota<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

12<br />

Bob Knight<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

Don’t follow my footsteps... I run into walls.<br />

S<br />

T

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Pot Roast Dinner Baked Haddock Spaghetti Stuffed Peppers Lobster Mac & Shrimp, Haddock & Scallops<br />

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w/ meat sauce<br />

w/ garlic toast<br />

veg & garlic toast<br />

Dinner<br />

$<br />

9 .99 $<br />

6 .99 $<br />

6 .99 $<br />

6 .99 Cheese<br />

$<br />

3 .99 & $ 4 .99 Beans & Franks<br />

$<br />

9 .99 cup<br />

bowl<br />

w/ coleslaw & bread & butter<br />

$<br />

Salmon Pie $<br />

9 .99 6 .99<br />

Sunday - 14th Monday - 15th Tuesday - 16th Wednesday - 17th Thursday - 18th Friday - 19th Saturday - 20th<br />

Salmon Pie<br />

Grilled Ham Dinner American Chop Country Fried Spaghetti w/ Haddock Fish & Chips<br />

$<br />

w/ apple/cranberry glaze, mashed<br />

Steak Dinner Meatballs<br />

w/ FF & coleslaw 9 .99<br />

Beans & Franks<br />

Suey<br />

potatoes, gravy, veg & garlic toast<br />

$ $<br />

9 .99 9 .99 $<br />

7 .99 $<br />

7 .99 w/ coleslaw & bread & butter<br />

w/ garlic toast<br />

Jambalaya<br />

$ $<br />

6 .99 $<br />

8 .99<br />

6 .99<br />

Sunday - 21st Monday - 22nd Tuesday - 23rd Wednesday - 24th Thursday - 25th Friday - 26th Saturday - 27th<br />

Half Rack BBQ Ribs Ham & Cheese Chicken Pot Pie Tuna Melt<br />

Salmon Bacon Wrapped Beans & Franks<br />

w/ FF, coleslaw, baked<br />

Quiche<br />

w/ rice & Puff Pastry<br />

$<br />

$ 6<br />

6 .99 .99 Croquettes<br />

Steak Tips<br />

$<br />

6 .99 $<br />

9 .99 w/ tenders<br />

w/ coleslaw & bread & butter<br />

beans & garlic bread<br />

$ $<br />

9 .99 $<br />

10 .99<br />

6 .99<br />

Sunday - 28th Monday - 29th Tuesday - 30th Wednesday - 31st<br />

Thank You L/A<br />

Turkey Dinner Turkey Pot Pie Meatloaf Dinner Meatball Sub<br />

$ <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

9 .99<br />

$<br />

6 .99<br />

$<br />

9 .99 w/ cheese<br />

$<br />

7 .99<br />

& Beyond!<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 13

8<br />

Out ‘n About at the<br />

Chapman House<br />

having their Christmas<br />

celebration<br />

What a<br />

great party!<br />

“What’s another word for Thesaurus?” – Steven Wright<br />

Pauline Langelier<br />

& Lucille Carrier<br />

I’m looking<br />

for Tammy,<br />

last seen on page<br />

11.<br />

It’s Your Choice – Choose Experience<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

14<br />

Santa Claus<br />

A New Year<br />

Prayer For<br />

The Aging<br />

Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />

God, grant me the<br />

senility to forget the<br />

people I never liked<br />

anyway,<br />

The good fortune to run<br />

into the ones that I do,<br />

And the eyesight to tell<br />

the difference.<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

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Wednesday: Italian Night - $12 for choice of Shrimp<br />

Scampi, Chicken Alfredo, or Spaghetti & Meatballs served w/<br />

house wine or select beverage<br />

Thursday: Pub Night - $10 - 14” cheese pizza & domestic<br />

beer of choice (add $2 for meat or veggies)<br />

Friday: New Special Every Week - ask your server for details<br />

Saturday: Juicy Prime Rib - $17.95 topped w/ au jus served<br />

w/ salad, 2 sides & a roll<br />

Sunday: Family Fun Day - (12pm - 4pm) Family of 3 or more<br />

receive 10% OFF entire meal<br />

838 Lisbon St. • 241-2644 • www.theBBQpit.me<br />

<strong>January</strong> 25, 1947 - Gangster Al Capone, who once controlled organized crime in<br />

Chicago, died in Miami at age 48 from syphilis.<br />

A snowflake is winter’s butterfly.<br />

Fitness Goal<br />

Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />

I feel like my body<br />

has gotten totally out<br />

of shape, so I got my<br />

doctor’s permission to<br />

join a fitness club and<br />

start exercising.<br />

The first thing I decided<br />

to take was an aerobics<br />

class for seniors.<br />

I bent, twisted, gyrated,<br />

jumped up and down,<br />

and perspired for an<br />

hour. But, by the time I<br />

got my leotards on, the<br />

class was over.<br />

Old Friends<br />

Submitted by Jimbo<br />

Two elderly ladies<br />

have been friends for<br />

many decades. Over<br />

the years, they partook<br />

in many activities and<br />

adventures together.<br />

Lately, their activities<br />

have been limited to<br />

meeting a few times a<br />

week to play cards.<br />

One day when they<br />

were playing cards,<br />

one looked at the other<br />

and said: “Now don’t<br />

get mad at me - I know<br />

we’ve been friends<br />

for a long time but I<br />

just can’t think of your<br />

name. I’ve thought and<br />

thought, but I can’t remember<br />

it. Please tell<br />

me what your name<br />

is.”<br />

Her friend glared at<br />

her. For at least three<br />

minutes she just stared<br />

and glared at her.<br />

Finally she said, “How<br />

soon do you need to<br />

know?”<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 15

Out ‘n About at<br />

Gridiron<br />

I can’t<br />

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FULL SERVICE GAS STATION<br />

YES! We still pump Gasoline for Our Customers!<br />

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JANUARY<br />

INSPECTIONS<br />

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Auto Repairs•Maintenance•Inspections<br />

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Out ‘n About at<br />

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I can’t get<br />

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“Sometimes me think, ‘What is friend?’ and then me say, ‘Friend is someone to<br />

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FREE HEARING EXAMS!<br />

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Instrument Specialist<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

16<br />

Stan Bennett &<br />

Tim Rucker<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

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Call Nancy today to schedule your<br />

NO COST Hearing Screening!<br />

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Without geometry, life is pointless.<br />

WHEN YOU NEED A GOOD LAWYER<br />

rn<br />

s<br />

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Meet Betsy... a young woman who is<br />

employed with <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong>.<br />

Betsy has been delivering the <strong>Digest</strong> for<br />

a few months now, and enjoys meeting<br />

new people in the community. This job<br />

gives Betsy a wonderful opportunity to<br />

earn money of her own and allows her<br />

to feel independent. Working with <strong>Uncle</strong><br />

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Edward Rabasco, Jr.<br />

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207-333-3583<br />

www.lawyers-maine.com<br />

Merry everything and Happy always.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 17

A Cold Winter<br />

Submitted by Steve Simard<br />

The Indians on a<br />

remote reservation<br />

asked their new Chief<br />

if the coming winter<br />

was going to be cold<br />

or mild.<br />

Since he was a Chief<br />

in a modern society,<br />

he had never been<br />

taught the old secrets<br />

from the past. When<br />

he looked at the sky he<br />

couldn’t tell what the<br />

winter was going to be<br />

like.<br />

Nevertheless, to be on<br />

the safe side he told<br />

his tribe that the winter<br />

was indeed going to<br />

be cold and that the<br />

members of the village<br />

should collect firewood<br />

to be prepared.<br />

But being a practical<br />

leader, after several<br />

days he got an idea.<br />

He went to the phone<br />

booth, called the National<br />

Weather Service<br />

and asked, “Is the<br />

coming winter going to<br />

be cold?”<br />

“It looks like this winter<br />

is going to be quite<br />

cold,” the meteorologist<br />

at the weather<br />

service responded.<br />

So the Chief went back<br />

to his people and told<br />

them to collect even<br />

more firewood in order<br />

to be prepared.<br />

A week later he called<br />

the National Weather<br />

Service again. “Does<br />

it still look like it is<br />

going to be a very cold<br />

winter?”<br />

(continued on next page)<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

18<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

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Thirsty Thurs. Happy Hour 4-6pm<br />

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Wed. 75¢ wings closed Tuesday<br />

I<br />

11

I just want to have enough money so that I can buy my furniture already assembled.<br />

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What if we just can’t see<br />

the shapes anymore<br />

because Trix are for kids?<br />

(continued from previous page)<br />

“Yes,” the man at National<br />

Weather Service<br />

again replied, “it’s<br />

going to be a very cold<br />

winter.”<br />

The Chief again went<br />

back to his people and<br />

ordered them to collect<br />

every scrap of firewood<br />

they could find.<br />

Two weeks later the<br />

Chief called the National<br />

Weather Service<br />

again.<br />

“Are you absolutely<br />

sure that the winter is<br />

going to be very cold?”<br />

“Absolutely,” the man<br />

replied. “It’s looking<br />

more and more like<br />

it is going to be one<br />

of the coldest winters<br />

ever.”<br />

“How can you be<br />

so sure?” the Chief<br />

asked.<br />

The weatherman replied,<br />

“The Indians are<br />

collecting firewood like<br />

crazy.”<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 19

Out ‘n About at<br />

Gridiron<br />

Come on over to<br />

Gridiron!<br />

Go outside and earn your hot cocoa.<br />

Ja<br />

Ashley Belanger<br />

& Tierra Safe<br />

The specials<br />

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<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

20<br />

Sheryl Flament &<br />

Susan Bizier<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

There is no wifi in the forest, but I promise you will find a better connection.

<strong>January</strong> 23, 1849 - Elizabeth Blackwell was awarded her MD by the Medical Institute of<br />

Geneva, New York, thus becoming America’s first woman doctor.<br />

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Serving LA for 62 Years!<br />

Qualifications and Restrictions Apply<br />

Bottle Drive<br />

Submitted by Jimbo<br />

The Boy Scouts were<br />

out collecting bottles<br />

for a fund raising activity.<br />

One ambitious but<br />

nervous young man<br />

knocked on a door<br />

and a sour-faced lady<br />

came to the door and<br />

asked:<br />

“What do you want,<br />

Sonny?”<br />

“D-d-do you have any<br />

beer bottles for the<br />

Boy Scouts, M-m-mma’am?”<br />

he asked.<br />

“Look here, young<br />

man, do I look like the<br />

kind of lady who would<br />

drink beer?” replied the<br />

lady.<br />

“S-s-sorry, Ma’am,”<br />

was his reply.<br />

“W-w-what about vinegar<br />

bottles?”<br />

Language<br />

Submitted by Steve Simard<br />

SUNDAY<br />

Baked Ziti<br />

$<br />

6.00<br />

Since 1953<br />

Open Daily 9am - 10pm<br />

MONDAY<br />

The Fergy<br />

sm $<br />

2.99<br />

lg $<br />

5.75<br />

LuiggisPizzeria.com<br />

TUESDAY<br />

Meatball Subs<br />

WEDNESDAY<br />

Spaghetti Dinners<br />

1 meatball, salad,<br />

sm $<br />

3.35 w/ch $ 3.99<br />

garlic bread, drink<br />

lg $<br />

6.50 w/ch $ 7.50 $<br />

5.99<br />

Little Timmy was<br />

caught swearing by his<br />

teacher. “Timmy,” she<br />

said, “you shouldn’t<br />

use that kind of language.<br />

Where did you<br />

hear such talk,<br />

anyway?”<br />

“My daddy said it,” he<br />

responded.<br />

THURSDAY<br />

Mini Pizza<br />

1 topping $<br />

2.99<br />

2 toppings $<br />

3.99<br />

FRIDAY<br />

$1.00 OFF<br />

Any Large Pizza<br />

OK, Christmas is over... I’m ready for summer.<br />

SATURDAY<br />

2 Ham or Salami<br />

Italians<br />

$<br />

7.99<br />

EVERY DAY: Regular Pizza with Drink $ 5.99<br />

“Well, that doesn’t<br />

matter,” explained the<br />

teacher. “You don’t<br />

even know what it<br />

means.”<br />

“I do, too!” Little Timmy<br />

replied. “It means the<br />

car won’t start.”<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 21

Greater Lewiston/Auburn’s 23rd An<br />

Best Chinese Restaurant:<br />

CHOPSTICKS<br />

Best Auto Body Shop:<br />

20<br />

Best Dance Studio:<br />

Best Pizza:<br />

Best Casual Restaurant:<br />

Best Landscape Company:<br />

Best Automotive Service:<br />

Best Insurance Agency:<br />

Best Sports Pub:<br />

Best Breakfast Place:<br />

37 Park St. Lewiston<br />

783-6300<br />

1524 Minot Ave.<br />

Auburn<br />

784-6121<br />

MARY JANE’S DANCE STUDIO<br />

23<br />

17<br />

675 Main St. Lewiston 241-2498<br />

16 95 Lincoln St. Lewiston 786-2020<br />

15<br />

13<br />

786-0715<br />

120 Center St. Auburn<br />

MORIN’S AUTO CENTER<br />

16<br />

78 Lisbon St.<br />

Lisbon<br />

353-4848<br />

1122 Center St. Auburn 753-0433<br />

15<br />

BILODEAU INSURANCE<br />

541 Lisbon St. Lewiston 784-4029<br />

786-0715<br />

120 Center St. Auburn<br />

Rolly’s Diner<br />

10 87 Mill St. Auburn 753-0171<br />

11<br />

Best Prime Rib:<br />

9<br />

Best Hair Colorist:<br />

124 Ash St. Lewiston<br />

782-9046<br />

Best Hair Salon:<br />

9<br />

Best Eye Care Professionals:<br />

OPTOMETRIC<br />

ASSOCIATES<br />

Best Burger:<br />

Best Financial Planners:<br />

Best Tanning Salon:<br />

Best Wait-staff:<br />

Best Heating Oil Service:<br />

Best Boutique:<br />

124 Ash St. Lewiston<br />

782-9046<br />

Dr. Pauline Beale<br />

Dr. Douglas Henry<br />

Dr. Stephen Ebersole<br />

Dr. Tara Sullivan<br />

775 Washington St.<br />

Auburn<br />

784-2110<br />

9<br />

8<br />

168 East Ave.<br />

Lewiston<br />

784-3564<br />

8 786-0715 120 Center St. Auburn<br />

POIRIER ASSOCIATES<br />

541 Lisbon St. Lewiston 786-0651<br />

8 250 Center St. Auburn 783-8422<br />

7<br />

BEACH BUMS<br />

786-0715<br />

120 Center St. Auburn<br />

BLANCHARD’S<br />

CASH FUEL, INC.<br />

785 Main St. Lewiston<br />

754-3057<br />

8<br />

7<br />

3 Conant Rd.<br />

Turner<br />

225-3588<br />

6<br />

Best Martini Bar:<br />

Best Bar/Lounge:<br />

5<br />

490 Pleasant St. Lewiston 784<br />

Best Real Estate Company:<br />

Best Seafood Restaurant:<br />

Best Dental Care Facility:<br />

Best Buffet:<br />

490 Pleasant St. Lewiston<br />

Best Sushi Restaurant:<br />

4<br />

4<br />

245 Center St. Auburn<br />

376-4295<br />

DR. JAMES P.<br />

HERBERT, DMD<br />

279 Center St. Auburn<br />

241-0870<br />

Best Mortgage Company:<br />

4<br />

Best Massage Therapy:<br />

Best Facial/Skin Care Salon<br />

4<br />

40 East Ave. #2 Lewiston<br />

181 Center St. Auburn<br />

777-1551<br />

22 S<br />

577 Main St. Lewiston<br />

376-3233<br />

71 East A<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

22<br />

Best Chiropractor:<br />

DR. GERALD<br />

NADEAU<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

336 Center St. Auburn<br />

777-1104<br />

9<br />

Best Place to buy Carpet/Flooring:<br />

6 675 Main St. Lewiston 782-0831<br />

Best Attorney:<br />

192 Lisbon St. Lewiston<br />

Market Surveys of America, an independent survey company, is proud to anno<br />

Best Businesses for 2017 Survey. The above winners are the result of public ballots an

d Annual Best Businesses for 2017<br />

i Bar:<br />

t St. Lewiston 784-2331<br />

unge:<br />

state Company:<br />

d Restaurant:<br />

Care Facility:<br />

ge Company:<br />

5<br />

leasant St. Lewiston 784-2331<br />

estaurant:<br />

4<br />

Ave. #2 Lewiston 795-6888<br />

t. Auburn<br />

JAMES P.<br />

BERT, DMD<br />

. Auburn<br />

enter St. Auburn<br />

1551<br />

336 Center St.<br />

Auburn<br />

784-3800<br />

4<br />

22 Strawberry Ave.<br />

Lewiston<br />

782-0670<br />

4<br />

Best Plumber:<br />

3<br />

Best Hearing Aid Center: 3<br />

1761 Lisbon St. Lewiston<br />

777-1134<br />

Best Flower Shop:<br />

Best Car Wash:<br />

Best Roofing Contractor:<br />

DONALD DARLING & SONS ROOFING<br />

Serving the Greater L/A Area 576-2585<br />

Best Pool & Spa Company:<br />

Best Day Spa:<br />

Best Jeweler in the Area:<br />

Serving the Greater L/A Area<br />

RAY HURILLA<br />

PLUMBING & HEATING<br />

485-7357<br />

ANN’S FLOWER SHOP<br />

3 36 Millet Dr. Auburn 782-3457<br />

YVON’S SUPERSONIC CAR WASH<br />

Serving the Greater L/A Area 782-4009<br />

2<br />

2<br />

1057 Sabattus St.<br />

Lewiston<br />

786-4256<br />

577 Main St. Lewiston<br />

376-3233<br />

3<br />

2<br />

2<br />

782-7758<br />

4 Lisbon St. Lewiston<br />

Best Child Care/Pre-School:<br />

STEPPING STONES EARLY LEARNING CENTER<br />

301 Sawyer Rd. Greene 946-5437<br />

Best Personal Injury Attorney:<br />

1<br />

Best Fence Company:<br />

Best Builder:<br />

1<br />

PETER THOMPSON & ASSOC.<br />

213 Lisbon St. Lewiston 777-3640<br />

EAST GRAND FENCE<br />

Serving the Greater L/A Area 754-3952<br />

32 Woodbury Rd.<br />

Auburn<br />

783-6224<br />

Best Deli/Sandwich Shop:<br />

375 Court St.<br />

Auburn<br />

689-9175<br />

1<br />

1<br />

1<br />

e Therapy:<br />

7 Main St. Lewiston<br />

76-3233<br />

Skin Care Salon:<br />

y:<br />

4<br />

71 East Ave. Lewiston<br />

783-3321<br />

3<br />

isbon St. Lewiston 786-0606<br />

Best Thai Food:<br />

1<br />

Best Auto Dealership:<br />

353-4361<br />

711 Lisbon St. Lisbon Falls<br />

Best Catering Service:<br />

1<br />

713-6768<br />

76 Sabattus St. Lewiston<br />

703 Sabattus St.<br />

Lewiston<br />

376-4810<br />

proud to announce the winners of the 23rd annual Greater Lewiston/Auburn’s<br />

blic ballots and internet voting for the Lewiston/Auburn small business community.<br />

1<br />

Your votes<br />

are in!<br />

# Indicates<br />

Vote online at:<br />

number of years<br />

bestofsurveys.com<br />

as winner.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 23

Out ‘n About with<br />

Lewiston PAL<br />

at the Colisee for<br />

LPD vs Bruins<br />

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.<br />

U<br />

Shannon Roy &<br />

Andrew Loisel<br />

Dave St. Pierre<br />

I look forward<br />

to this event<br />

every year!<br />

Trevor Campbell<br />

I got hurt before<br />

I even stepped<br />

on the ice.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

24<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

Does shivering count as an exercise?<br />

Upscale Comfort Food and Home Style Hospitality<br />

Zoo Advice<br />

Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />

“Hello! Is this the zoo?”<br />

Our menu features a modern twist<br />

on traditional Lewiston & Auburn<br />

favorites, alongside innovative railroad<br />

inspired comfort food dishes.<br />

• Locally Owned<br />

• Thoughtfully Sourced<br />

• Made from Scratch<br />

• Maine Craft Beer & Spirits<br />

Cocktail Hour<br />

Tues. - Fri. 3 - 6pm<br />

“Yes. How can we help<br />

you?”<br />

“A snake has crawled<br />

into my home. I’m so<br />

scared and don’t know<br />

what to do.”<br />

“Are you a member of<br />

The Animal Protection<br />

Association?”<br />

“No, I’m not.”<br />

“A member of The<br />

Green Party?”<br />

Beer, Wine & selected<br />

Cocktails only $ 5<br />

103 Lincoln Street, Lewiston • 333-3070 • RailsMaine.com<br />

“Nope.”<br />

“Then hit it with a<br />

shovel.”<br />

Blackie’s Farm<br />

Fresh Produce<br />

“Where you’re treated like family.”<br />

THOMAS BAUER, DDS, MS<br />

1 Willow Run, Mt. Auburn Ave, Auburn<br />

784-8587 or (888) 895-6801<br />

AndroscogginOrtho.com<br />

Open Year Round<br />

966 Minot Ave, Auburn<br />

207-786-0005<br />

6am - 8pm<br />

Nappin’ in the New Year<br />

I would have a lot more sympathy for you if I hadn’t “told you so”.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 25

Child Like<br />

Submitted by Jimbo<br />

Last week my wife<br />

and I purchased a<br />

new computer. We ran<br />

into some difficulties<br />

while setting it up so<br />

we decided to call<br />

the customer support<br />

phone number we<br />

found in the manual.<br />

I picked up the phone<br />

and called the number.<br />

A man answered the<br />

phone and I explained<br />

the problem to him.<br />

He began rattling off<br />

computer jargon. This<br />

confused us even<br />

more.<br />

“Sir,” I said politely,<br />

“Can you explain what<br />

I should do as if I were<br />

a small child?”<br />

I’m bored. Things could get dangerous.<br />

comes to life...<br />

LA STYLE!<br />

THE AFFORDABLE CHOICE FOR LEWISTON-AUBURN<br />

Staging • Window Treatments • Interior Decorating • Color Consultation<br />

1<br />

YOU WILL MAKE MORE MONEY.<br />

Studies have shown staged<br />

homes have sold, on average,<br />

6% above the asking price.<br />

TOP 3 REASONS TO Stage Your Home<br />

2<br />

YOUR HOUSE WILL SELL FASTER.<br />

The longer your house stays on the<br />

market, the further the price drops.<br />

8<br />

“Okay,” the computer<br />

support guy said, “Son,<br />

could you please put<br />

your mommy on the<br />

phone?”<br />

Back To<br />

School Notes<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

3<br />

YOU<br />

WILL MAKE YOUR MONEY BACK.<br />

The National Association of Realtors found that the average staging investment<br />

is between 1 and 3 % of the asking price, which generates a home<br />

staging return on investment of 8 - 10%.<br />

A wise school teacher<br />

sends this note to all<br />

parents on the first day<br />

of school:<br />

“If you promise not to<br />

believe everything your<br />

child says happens at<br />

school, I’ll promise not<br />

to believe everything<br />

he says happens at<br />

home.”<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

26<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

BEFORE<br />

AFTER<br />

207-200-6507 • refresh207.com<br />

I’m not going outside until the temperature is above my age.

My favorite thing about winter... when it’s over.<br />

Quotable<br />

Quote<br />

n<br />

86 Court St., Auburn<br />

777-3579<br />

HUGE SALE on Fire Arms &<br />

Accessories!<br />

www.jtreidsgunshop.com<br />

We Offer Hand Gun<br />

Safety Courses!<br />

Call for more information<br />

“I hope that in this year to<br />

come, you make mistakes.<br />

Because if you are making<br />

mistakes, then you are<br />

making new things, trying<br />

new things, learning,<br />

living, pushing yourself,<br />

changing yourself, changing<br />

your world.<br />

You’re doing things you’ve<br />

never done before, and<br />

more importantly, you’re<br />

doing something.”<br />

– Neil Gaiman<br />

I’m instantly nicer after 3pm on Fridays.<br />

When was the last<br />

time you spoke to<br />

YOUR accountant?<br />

visit<br />

As Your Financial Team<br />

We can help.<br />

Paid for and authorized by the committee to elect Pape for House. Chip Palmer, Treasurer<br />

Schedule a consultation 800-605-9263<br />

Austinpa.com<br />

I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I’m right.<br />

A Maine Tradition You Can Count On!<br />

Nappin’ in the<br />

New Year<br />

• Happy Hour 3-6pm daily<br />

• 14 Beers on Tap & Full Bar<br />

• Daily Specials<br />

• Wednesdays Open Mic<br />

64 Lewiston Road, Gray<br />

657-4714 • ColeFarms.com<br />

THINK... It’s not illegal yet.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 27

S<br />

Y<br />

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite<br />

Bill Turner of Maine Source<br />

Homes and Realty Wins MHAM<br />

Lifetime Achievement Award<br />

Bill Turner, Founder and<br />

Sales Manager of Maine<br />

Source Homes and Realty in<br />

Lewiston-Auburn, has won a<br />

Lifetime Achievement Award<br />

from the Manufactured Housing<br />

Association of Maine. Mr.<br />

Turner founded Maine Source<br />

Homes and Realty in 1972.<br />

In a letter commemorating<br />

the award, U.S. Senator<br />

Susan Collins wrote to Mr.<br />

Turner, “Congratulations on<br />

your many years of service to<br />

Maine’s manufactured housing<br />

industry. Your countless<br />

efforts have been instrumental<br />

in strengthening both<br />

your community and Maine’s<br />

economy... I applaud this<br />

recognition of your tireless<br />

work on behalf of the people<br />

of Maine.”<br />

E<br />

M<br />

L<br />

The MHAM awards ceremony,<br />

conducted in November, was<br />

also attended by representatives<br />

from the offices of<br />

Maine’s entire U.S. Congressional<br />

delegation, including<br />

the offices of U.S. Senator<br />

Angus King, U.S. Representative<br />

Bruce Poliquin, and<br />

U.S. Representation Chellie<br />

Pingree.<br />

Originally from Chicago, Mr.<br />

Turner moved to Maine in<br />

1969. In 1972 Mr. Turner<br />

decided to become a builder/<br />

realtor and launched Maine<br />

Source Homes and Realty.<br />

Working with his dedicated<br />

team, Mr. Turner has now<br />

built more than 700 modular<br />

homes in the Lewiston-<br />

Auburn area.<br />

See the Maine Source Realty<br />

ad on page 12.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

28<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

When I was a kid, I wanted to be older. This is NOT what I expected.

<strong>January</strong> 13, 1990 - Douglas Wilder of Virginia became the first African American<br />

governor in the U.S. as he took the oath of office in Richmond.<br />

Screen Printing COASTALTSHIRTS.COM Embroidery<br />

YOUR NEW YEARS RESOLUTION STARTS WITH US!<br />

PROMOTIONAL PRODUCTS<br />

Pens, Travel Mugs,<br />

Key Tags, & More!<br />

T-Shirts • Sweatshirts • Jackets<br />

It’s never too early to start<br />

Thank You for Another<br />

thinking about spring sports!<br />

Great Year!<br />

Call us for a Quote!<br />

205 Washington Street, South Auburn • 207-784-4184 • coastaltshirts.com<br />

WELCOME TO<br />

Enjoy lunch with us<br />

Mon - Fri. 11:30a - 1:30p<br />

LUNCH SPECIALS STARTING AT $ 9<br />

Locally Owned & Operated<br />

14 Great Falls Plaza, Auburn<br />

207.514.2222<br />

Not Fair<br />

Submitted by Steve Simard<br />

A man was speeding<br />

down the highway,<br />

feeling secure in a<br />

gaggle of cars all<br />

traveling at the same<br />

speed. However, as<br />

they passed a speed<br />

trap, he got nailed with<br />

an infrared speed detector<br />

and was pulled<br />

over.<br />

The officer handed the<br />

man a citation, and<br />

then as he turned to<br />

walk back to his cruiser,<br />

the man asked,<br />

“Officer, I know I was<br />

speeding, but I don’t<br />

think it’s fair. There<br />

were plenty of other<br />

cars around me going<br />

just as fast, so why did<br />

I get the ticket?”<br />

“Ever go fishing?” the<br />

policeman asked the<br />

man.<br />

“Um, yeah... so,” the<br />

startled man replied.<br />

The officer grinned and<br />

added, “Ever catch<br />

ALL the fish?”<br />

Nappin’ in the<br />

New Year<br />

ROGERS INSURANCE AGENCY<br />

Auto • Business • Home • Life<br />

38 Main Street, Lisbon Falls<br />

353-6834<br />

“Kindness is like snow; it beautifies everything it covers.” — Kahlil Gibran<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 29

CALL THE PROS<br />

Walk-ins Welcome<br />

25 Fern Street, Turner<br />

207-225-5012<br />

Connie<br />

Cindy<br />

Payroll Solutions<br />

Michael Splane<br />

Payroll Territory Manager<br />

T 207.615.0466<br />

M 207.577.3262<br />

F 877.736.9286<br />

michael.splane@e-hps.com<br />

heartlandpaymentsystems.com<br />

Color • Highlights • Perms • Razor Cuts<br />

• Flat Tops • Fades • Regular Cuts<br />

Senior Citizens Welcome<br />

207-784-2545<br />

26 Nickerson Ave, Auburn<br />

(behind Great Falls Credit Union)<br />

REDEMPTION CENTER<br />

Bottle Drives<br />

Welcome!<br />

6<br />

on all 5¢ returns<br />

¢ with this coupon.<br />

(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting)<br />

Located in the building behind Dad’s Place<br />

Hours: Monday - Sunday 9am - 5pm<br />

(closed Tuesdays & Major Holidays) UAD exp. 1.31.18<br />

Winter is Here... and so are we.<br />

This & A Whole Lot More!<br />

ATTENTION PROPERTY<br />

MANAGERS<br />

Come to Selco for hard to<br />

find parts; heating,<br />

plumbing & hardware.<br />

Milwaukee Power Tools Nuts, bolts, fasteners We make keys!<br />

Central Maine’s choice for<br />

Complete Home Remodeling<br />

Insured • References • FREE Quotes<br />

207-786-4414<br />

www.straightlineroof.com<br />

61 Mill Street, New Auburn<br />

207-783-6927 • MySelco.com<br />

Mon-Fri 7:30-5:30 • Sat. 8-4<br />

Nut, Bolts, fastners... We make keys!<br />

Quality<br />

Workmanship<br />

since 1989<br />

O<br />

Re<br />

Co<br />

Cl<br />

Ro<br />

Th<br />

9<br />

I<br />

W<br />

s<br />

L<br />

Th<br />

MAINELY<br />

Junk Removal<br />

& Delivery Services, LLC<br />

All Around<br />

Junk<br />

Removal<br />

& Clean Out<br />

Service<br />

LaBonte Financial Services, Inc.<br />

Accounting &<br />

Financial Planning<br />

Specialist<br />

Over<br />

30 years<br />

Experience<br />

“You Call, We Haul!”<br />

207-462-2312<br />

mainelyjunkremoval.com<br />

Ben Cunningham<br />

Owner/Operator<br />

Bert LaBonte, CPA, MBA, MST<br />

155 Center Street, Auburn<br />

782-9500 • bglcpa@aol.com<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

30<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of a man could invent.

er<br />

2<br />

CALL THE PROS<br />

!<br />

!<br />

s!<br />

1319 SABATTUS ST. LEWISTON • 754-7873<br />

Is your vehicle cold in the morning?<br />

WE CAN SOLVE THAT!<br />

We sell & install remote<br />

starters for all makes & models!<br />

OFFERING<br />

Residential<br />

Commercial<br />

CleanOuts<br />

Roll Offs<br />

844-ME-TRASH<br />

844-638-7274<br />

The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service!<br />

SERVING<br />

Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland<br />

Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples<br />

9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com<br />

LYAF<br />

$<br />

10 up to<br />

48 cards<br />

Games pay<br />

$<br />

50- $ 100<br />

Join us for some AFFORDABLE FUN!<br />

Thursday & Friday @ 6:30 • Saturday & Sunday @ 6pm<br />

Pleasant Street Bingo Hall<br />

475 Pleasant St., Lewiston • 777-1394<br />

Fully Insured<br />

We get down & dirty<br />

so you don’t have to!<br />

FROM CLASSIC CARS<br />

TO MODERN CARS<br />

515 Gardiner Rd.<br />

Wales<br />

FARRELL<br />

ENTERPRISES<br />

BUILDINGS AND<br />

PROPERTIES CLEANED<br />

Nearly Anything Removed<br />

Trash • Metals • Demolition<br />

& More!<br />

Michael Farrell<br />

207-576-2501<br />

Servicing all makes<br />

and models!<br />

TRANSMISSION & AUTO REPAIR<br />

OIL CHANGES • SHOCKS, STRUTS • INSPECTIONS<br />

Call us today!<br />

375-4924<br />

WE HAVE THE EXPERIENCE<br />

TO HANDLE ALL MODELS<br />

Your table vacation awaits you!<br />

Sweedish • Deep Tissue<br />

Reiki • Offsite Chair<br />

Pre & Post Natal<br />

185 Webster St. Lewiston • 207-240-6415<br />

People who tolerate me on a regular basis, they’re the real heroes.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 31

CALL THE PROS<br />

Out ‘n About at the Chapman House during<br />

their Christmas Celebration<br />

Marcel Caron Electric, Inc.<br />

Master Electrician<br />

Licensed & Insured<br />

Specializing in small jobs<br />

in the LA area<br />

Commercial & Residential<br />

207.786.3709<br />

Back: Bob Knight, Kimberly Lachance,<br />

& Karen Bisson<br />

Front: Rosemary Camire Knight, Sheryll Seager,<br />

Wanda Seager & Jeannine Davin<br />

Your Voice in Augusta<br />

Paid for and Authorized by Bruce Bickford<br />

for House. Margie Bickford, Treasurer<br />

Brenda Cyr, Verna Lasko, & Christie Kyajohnian<br />

Rhonda Alafat, Beverly Bamford & Jennifer Thuoite<br />

TOP OF MIND AWARENESS!<br />

We have<br />

ads that fit<br />

anyone’s<br />

budget!<br />

Call: 783-7039 or email: Tim@<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com<br />

Steve@<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com<br />

Present Company - 30 Years together<br />

Marge Dix, Diane Meservier & Lorna Jollymore<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

32<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

I’ve expanded my skills. I can actually forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Join us for our<br />

Super Bowl Party!<br />

,<br />

$50 pp (all inclusive)<br />

Tailgate Hors d'oeuvres & includes<br />

2 beverages of your choice! Tons of giveaways!!<br />

Super Bowl Sunday!<br />

12+ Grand Prizes!<br />

Everyone gets a prize!<br />

and MUCH, MUCH MORE!!<br />

te<br />

Thank you<br />

for a great<br />

2017!<br />

No better<br />

place to be on<br />

Super Bowl<br />

Sunday!<br />

Happy<br />

New Year!<br />

1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 33

O<br />

<strong>January</strong> Birthdays<br />

photos courtesy of Heidi Sawyer<br />

Know someone that has a birthday coming up? Purchase a spot on our birthday page to wish them the very best!<br />

Call 783-7039 or email design@uncleandys.com for more information. Deadline for February is 1/24/18<br />

Happy Birthday Marisa!<br />

Love, Mom & Dad<br />

Happy Birthday to the Twins!<br />

Pauline & Paulette<br />

Love, your daughter/niece<br />

Happy Birthday Sean Bowie!<br />

Enjoy your day!<br />

Happy Birthday Danielle!<br />

Love, Mom & Dad<br />

Happy Birthday Dave!<br />

Hope you have an amazing day!<br />

Happy Birthday Sue!<br />

Love, Jimbo<br />

February<br />

Birthdays!<br />

Happy Birthday Karen Gruver!<br />

From, your friends at UAD<br />

Happy Birthday BJ Grondin!<br />

Hope your birthday is Prime!!<br />

Call or email us to wish your<br />

friend or family member a<br />

Happy Birthday right here in<br />

the <strong>Digest</strong>! Only $25<br />

February Birthdays<br />

Know someone that has a birthday coming up?<br />

Purchase a spot on our birthday page to wish them the very best!<br />

Call 783-7039 or email design@uncleandys.com<br />

for more information. Deadline for February is 1/24/17<br />

N<br />

• A<br />

w<br />

• N<br />

• N<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

34<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

Common sense is a flower that doesn’t grow in everyone’s garden.

yer<br />

Did you know line dancing was started by women waiting to use the bathroom?<br />

Mon-Thurs. 11a-9p<br />

Fri. 11a-11p; Sat. 10a-11p • Sun. 10a-9p<br />

NEW!<br />

Aero Air Park<br />

Weekly Specials<br />

Every Tuesday<br />

& Thursday<br />

2 for 1<br />

$<br />

13/pp for 2 hours<br />

7 - 9pm<br />

Lisbon Community<br />

FCU Announces<br />

Winner of Holiday<br />

Card Artwork Contest<br />

t!<br />

207-783-3888<br />

Out ‘n About at<br />

Wallingford’s<br />

NOTICE:<br />

www.aeroairpark.com<br />

#aeroairpark<br />

40 East Ave. Lewiston<br />

Next to Sea40<br />

Thursday tumble<br />

4 - 6pm<br />

Toddler Tumble<br />

Open for little ones<br />

under 46”<br />

$<br />

8/child for 2hr<br />

free for Mom & dads<br />

• Aero Air Park has the right to change the dates or cancel the events<br />

without notice due to extreme weather conditions or unforeseen situations.<br />

• Notifications will always be listed on the Aero Air Par Facebook Page<br />

• Not valid on school breaks, holidays or summer<br />

Toddler Tuesday<br />

11am - 2pm<br />

Open only for Little<br />

ones 46” & under.<br />

have a picnic in our<br />

party room.<br />

$<br />

10 for 3hr<br />

free for Mom & dads<br />

Teen Nights<br />

Friday & Saturday<br />

8 - 11pm<br />

Turn on the party<br />

lights and Jump!<br />

NEW - Glow Dodgeball<br />

$<br />

18 for 2hr<br />

Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin.<br />

Manic Monday<br />

3 - 9pm<br />

Jump during these<br />

hours for 1 price!<br />

$<br />

13 big aero<br />

$<br />

10 little aero<br />

Hump day jump day<br />

Wed. Family Night<br />

5 - 9pm<br />

1hr jump pass, 1 bottle<br />

water &1 locker<br />

$<br />

40/ 4 people<br />

$<br />

10 each addtl.<br />

Buy 1 Jump<br />

Get 1half off!<br />

expires 1/31/18<br />

Our Winner: Allie<br />

Lisbon Community<br />

Federal Credit Union<br />

recently held a Holiday<br />

Card Artwork contest for<br />

all children 12 & under<br />

for a chance to win $50<br />

and to have their artwork<br />

featured on the Credit<br />

Union’s 2017 holiday<br />

greeting cards.<br />

The artwork received from<br />

16 children was displayed<br />

at the main office in the<br />

lobby for nearly 2 weeks<br />

with voting ballots available<br />

for everyone who<br />

visited. Over 100 votes<br />

were tallied! The kids<br />

worked hard on their designs<br />

and all contestants<br />

received many votes.<br />

The big winner was Allie,<br />

age 8 of Durham, came in<br />

with her Mom to pick up<br />

her prize. Allie is saving<br />

for a violin and put the<br />

money right into her account<br />

to help pay for it.<br />

Second place went to<br />

Nora, age 12 of Lewiston<br />

and 3rd Place was<br />

Hannah, age 8 of Lisbon<br />

Falls. Runners up each<br />

received $20 Monty<br />

Moose bucks!<br />

Congratulations, Allie!<br />

See Lisbon Community<br />

FCU’s ad on page 41.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 35

Out ‘n About at Gridiron<br />

Oh jeez, don’t inflate<br />

his head anymore<br />

than it already is!<br />

Feeling privileged<br />

to have my photograph taken<br />

with a professional cornhole<br />

player.<br />

Professional<br />

Cornhole player<br />

Fern Langlois, Ron Morin & Lynn Morin<br />

Out ‘n About at Gridiron<br />

C<br />

Mo<br />

Th<br />

Call for a Tour<br />

Rosemary Camire Knight<br />

207-783-0961<br />

Home for Senior Women<br />

41 Pleasant Street, Auburn<br />

www.chapmanhouse.org<br />

99.9 The Wolf, L-A<br />

Harley and Twisted<br />

Tea teamed up to<br />

giveaway a new<br />

Harley-Davidson<br />

motorcycle.<br />

Cally Jandreau - winner of the American Rebel Harley<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

36<br />

Parenting<br />

Again<br />

Submitted by Jimbo<br />

When my three-yearold<br />

son opened the<br />

birthday gift from his<br />

grandmother, he discovered<br />

a water pistol. He<br />

squealed with delight<br />

and headed for the<br />

nearest sink. I was not<br />

so pleased.<br />

I turned to Mom and<br />

said, “I’m surprised at<br />

you. Don’t you remember<br />

how we used to<br />

drive you crazy with<br />

water guns?”<br />

Mom smiled and then<br />

replied.....”I remember.”<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

Just becuase I’m awake, doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.<br />

I think my guardian angel drinks.<br />

We are looking for Licensed Electricians • Apply within<br />

11 Library Avenue • Auburn<br />

www.RoySnow.com Serving Maine since 1947 207.782.3734<br />

Who says I can’t cook? Obviously you haven’t tasted my cereal.<br />

C<br />

A

e<br />

The American Legion<br />

FAMILY<br />

Hall Rentals Available<br />

Call for more information<br />

207-782-1118<br />

OPEN<br />

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday 1pm - close<br />

Thursday, Friday, Saturday noon to close<br />

Sunday noon to close<br />

Life is soup, and I’m a fork.<br />

William J. Rogers Post 153<br />

71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118 • Activities • Members & Guests Welcome<br />

MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE W/ JEAN LOUIS<br />

Fri. & Sat. evenings 7-11pm in <strong>January</strong><br />

(Jerry Joe - Jan. 9, 23 • 5 - 7pm)<br />

NFL SUNDAY PLAYOFFS<br />

JAN. 7 TH , 14 TH & 21 ST<br />

Post will be selling Hot Dogs, & Burgers for 1st game<br />

BREAKFAST BUFFET<br />

SUN. JAN. 21 ST 8-10am $<br />

7/adult $ 4/child under 10<br />

MONTHLY MEETING • WED. JAN. 17 TH • 7PM<br />

50/50 Raffle & Attending members have a chance to win $ 100, $ 50 or $ 25<br />

DO YOU HAVE AN EVENT, FUNCTION OR GATHERING COMING UP?<br />

Give us a call and ask us about our “Beverage Service”<br />

Nappin’ in the<br />

New Year<br />

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.<br />

10 Years<br />

Experience<br />

fully insured<br />

Free Estimates<br />

207-240-4048<br />

corey@gutterbrothersmaine.com<br />

HIGHEST QUALITY<br />

SEAMLESS GUTTERS<br />

Corey Binette<br />

owner<br />

Cell:<br />

207<br />

212.6923<br />

Shop:<br />

1160 Rt 202, Greene<br />

207<br />

946.6176<br />

Sales • Service • Restorations<br />

PROTECT YOUR INVESTMENT<br />

Professional Undercoating<br />

Cars, Small SUV’s......... $ 250 .00<br />

Trucks, Large SUV’s....... $ 350 .00<br />

Crew Cab Trucks............ $ 350 .00<br />

We also do Fleet Vehicles & Trailers too!<br />

I’m not totally worthless. I could be used as a bad example.<br />

Nappin’ in the<br />

New Year<br />

Caring Family Dentists & Specialists!<br />

488 Sabattus St., Lewiston<br />

207-783-8800<br />

AndroscogginDentalGroup.com<br />

“Affordable Dental Excellence”<br />

Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 37

W<br />

Out ‘n About with<br />

Lewiston PAL<br />

at the Colisee for<br />

LPD vs Bruins<br />

Being<br />

behind these<br />

bars is my idea of<br />

fun!<br />

I will live in the moment. Unless that moment becomes boring, in which case,<br />

I will take a nap.<br />

T<br />

F<br />

Dominic Cloutier<br />

Yes, my eye<br />

hurts.<br />

Tyler Michaud<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

38<br />

Dave St. Pierre<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

Make today so awesome that yesterday gets jealous.

Trust me, when I woke up this morning I had no plans to be awesome. But it happens.<br />

For Any Disaster, Call ServiceMASTER!<br />

ServiceMaster - The clean up experts after floods, fire or mold.<br />

Bull!<br />

Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />

A week after Tim bought<br />

a bull, he complained<br />

to Jimbo, “All that bull<br />

does is eat grass. Won’t<br />

even look at a cow.”<br />

PIPES FREEZE?<br />

WATER DAMAGE?<br />

29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn<br />

(800) 244-7630<br />

(207) 539-4452<br />

www.smfireandwater.com • www.smcarpetcleaning.com<br />

“Take him to the vet,”<br />

Jimbo suggested.<br />

The next week, Tim is<br />

much happier. “The vet<br />

gave him some pills,<br />

and the bull serviced<br />

all of my cows!” he told<br />

Jimbo. “Then he broke<br />

through the fence and<br />

bred with all my neighbor’s<br />

cows! He’s like a<br />

machine!”<br />

“What kind of pills were<br />

they?” asked Jimbo.<br />

“I don’t know, but<br />

they’ve got a peppermint<br />

taste.”<br />

<strong>January</strong> 3, 1959 - Alaska was admitted as the 49th U.S. state with a land mass<br />

almost one-fifth the size of the lower 48 states together.<br />

Happy New Year!<br />

We look forward to serving you in <strong>2018</strong><br />

The Vallee Family and whole<br />

team at the Village Inn wish<br />

to extend our sincere thankfulness<br />

to our community<br />

for their continued support<br />

throughout the year.<br />

We really appreciate our<br />

friends and our guests and we<br />

look forward to serving you<br />

all in the New Year!<br />

Village Inn, 165 High Street, Auburn • 782-7796<br />

Open Tuesday - Sunday • villageinnmaine.com<br />

I haven’t been this excited about Friday since last Friday.<br />

New Years<br />

Resolutions<br />

By Rover<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

I will not bark each time<br />

I see or hear a dog on<br />

TV.<br />

I will not steal underwear<br />

belonging to my<br />

master and then dance<br />

all over the back yard<br />

with it.<br />

I will not chew red crayons<br />

or pens, because<br />

my master will think that<br />

I am hemorrhaging.<br />

I will not roll my toys<br />

behind the fridge.<br />

I must shake the rainwater<br />

out of my coat<br />

BEFORE I enter the<br />

house.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 39

The Month<br />

After<br />

Christmas<br />

Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />

T’was the month after<br />

Christmas, and all<br />

through the house,<br />

nothing would fit me,<br />

not even a blouse;<br />

The cookies I’d nibbled,<br />

the eggnog I’d<br />

tasted, at the holiday<br />

parties had gone to my<br />

waist.<br />

When I got on the<br />

scales there arose<br />

such a number! When<br />

I walked to the store<br />

(less a walk than a<br />

lumber).<br />

I’d remember the<br />

marvelous meals I’d<br />

prepared. The gravies<br />

and sauces and beef<br />

nicely rared;<br />

The wine and the rum<br />

balls; the bread and<br />

the cheese, and the<br />

way I’d never said, “No<br />

thank you,” but “Yes,<br />

please.”<br />

As I dressed myself in<br />

my husband’s old shirt,<br />

and prepared once<br />

again to do battle with<br />

dirt, I said to myself, as<br />

only I can, “You can’t<br />

spend the whole winter<br />

disguised as a man!”<br />

So, away with the last<br />

of the sour cream dip.<br />

Get rid of the fruit<br />

cake, every cracker<br />

and chip.<br />

Every last bit of food<br />

that I like must be<br />

banished, ‘til all the<br />

additional ounces have<br />

vanished.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

40<br />

(continued on next page)<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

<strong>January</strong> 1, 1892 - Ellis Island in New York Harbor opened. Over 20 million new arrivals<br />

to America were processed until its closing in 1954.<br />

Since<br />

1954<br />

Federal Firearms License<br />

Gun Background Checks/Transfers<br />

Fire Arms Transfers $25 per transfer<br />

Only 25 Minutes from Auburn & Gray<br />

1447 Main Street, Oxford<br />

207-743-0709 or<br />

Toll free: 1-877-743-0709<br />

Open Mon-Sat. 9am - 5pm<br />

12 Bates St. Lewiston - 795-6710<br />

PO Box 1319 Lewiston 04243-1319<br />

www.commonties.org<br />

Compassionate & Caring<br />

OUR SERVICES:<br />

• Case Management<br />

• Housing Resources<br />

Rollodrome<br />

SK8 SCHEDULE<br />

Thursday Nights - Ages 20+ 7:30-10pm<br />

Friday Nights - All Skating 7:30 - 10:00<br />

Saturday & Sunday - 1:30 - 4pm<br />

Saturday Nights - Family Night 7:30 - 10pm<br />

Sunday Night - All SK8 • 7:30 - 9:30pm<br />

Get more with your tax returns!<br />

Our inventory costs are well below retail value!<br />

Come check out our new place!<br />

1447 Main St. Oxford formerly The Candle Place<br />

Available for<br />

private parties<br />

12 Riverside Drive, Auburn • 777-3940<br />

www.rollodrome.com<br />

It’s not the minutes spent at the table that put on weight, it’s the seconds.<br />

Co<br />

C<br />

C

s<br />

e!<br />

The world can be amazing when you’re slightly strange.<br />

Come & Enjoy Our Everyday Specials!<br />

MONDAY<br />

75¢ Wings<br />

Cheeseburger Special<br />

$<br />

5.99<br />

Cincinnati Spaghetti<br />

25oz domestic<br />

drafts $ 3.50<br />

WEDNESDAY<br />

Mexican Day<br />

3 Beef Tacos $ 4.99<br />

Thatcher’s Burrito $ 6.99<br />

$<br />

5 Well Margaritas<br />

$<br />

3 Coronas<br />

FRIDAY<br />

Fish & Chips<br />

$<br />

9.99<br />

Fried Scallops<br />

$<br />

13.99<br />

$<br />

7.99<br />

SUNDAY<br />

12” cheese pizza $ 5.99<br />

TUESDAY<br />

75¢ Wings<br />

Thatcher’s Burger<br />

BBQ sauce, cheddar, caramelized onions<br />

$<br />

7.99<br />

25oz domestic drafts $ 3.50<br />

THURSDAY<br />

Stuffed Peppers $ 6.99<br />

Buffalo Chicken Salad $ 8.99<br />

$<br />

4.00 microbrews<br />

SATURDAY<br />

Teriyaki tips $ 11.99<br />

2 Hotdogs w/fries $ 4.99<br />

$<br />

2.50 Miller Lite<br />

bottles<br />

$<br />

5 Well Bloody Mary’s • $ 2 Bud Drafts<br />

with Mashed<br />

Homemade Soups & Chowders<br />

Popcorn Shrimp, Scallops, Clam<br />

Strips, Haddock, & Whole Belly<br />

Clams available<br />

every day!<br />

“A place where<br />

family & friends gather<br />

for good food & cheer<br />

at great prices!”<br />

Auburn Mall<br />

207-782-2135<br />

Mon. - Sat. 10:30am - 9pm; Sun. 11am - 5pm<br />

(continued from previous page)<br />

I won’t have a cookie,<br />

not even a lick. I’ll want<br />

only to chew on a long<br />

celery stick.<br />

I won’t have hot biscuits,<br />

or corn bread,<br />

or pie, I’ll munch on a<br />

carrot and quietly cry.<br />

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome,<br />

and life is a<br />

bore, but isn’t that<br />

what <strong>January</strong> is for?<br />

Unable to giggle, no<br />

longer a riot. Happy<br />

New Year to all and to<br />

all a good diet!<br />

Nappin’ in the<br />

New Year<br />

As kids we wondered why our parents were always in a bad mood...<br />

Now we’re like... ohhh.<br />

I don’t jog... it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 41

Out ‘n About with<br />

Lewiston PAL<br />

at the Colisee for<br />

LPD vs Bruins<br />

You lookin’ at<br />

me?<br />

We take photos as a return ticket to a moment otherwise gone.<br />

Rolly’s Diner<br />

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!<br />

Breakfast & Lunch<br />

Specials Daily<br />

Trevor Campbell<br />

Next time I see that<br />

guy with the camera,<br />

he’s gettting a ticket.<br />

Always<br />

great food &<br />

good times at<br />

Rolly’s!<br />

Mary Bolduc & Leroy Walker<br />

• Unusual Omelettes<br />

• Crepes<br />

• Breakfast All Day<br />

• Extensive Menu<br />

87 Mill St.<br />

New Auburn<br />

753-0171<br />

(for take-out)<br />

Mon – Sat 5 am – 2 pm<br />

Sunday 7 am – noon<br />

My housekeeping style is best described as “there appears to have been a struggle”.<br />

Our Stars Shine Brighter<br />

Jim Avery<br />

Come see us for the rewarding<br />

career you’ve been looking for!<br />

WE’RE HIRING!<br />

Join our team of caring professionals!<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

42<br />

Jeremy Caron<br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

<strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039<br />

Apply online at JFMhomes.org or visit 800 Center St, Auburn.<br />

John F. Murphy Homes, Inc. is an Equal Opportunity Employer and complies with all local, state,<br />

and federal guidelines in its employment practices & services provided.<br />

Dust is nothing but mud with the juice squeezed out.

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Jan. <strong>2018</strong> <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 43

Bookkeeping • QuickBooks Hosting & Consulting<br />

Billing • MaineCare Billing • Budgeting<br />

Accounts Receivable Management • Financial Reporting<br />

Tel: 207-795-0663<br />

kbrunelle@RCCmaine.com<br />

www.RCCmaine.com<br />

Celebrating 20 Years<br />

1997 - 2017<br />

Kevin Michael Brunelle<br />

Certified Public Accountant<br />

219 Mount Auburn Ave., Auburn<br />

“We are dedicated to providing<br />

personalized, professional treatment<br />

to our patients in a caring and<br />

comfortable environment.”<br />

Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother.<br />

Start your New Year off right with<br />

Our Famous UFO!<br />

1-844-DOC-CHEN<br />

730 Center St. Auburn<br />

(Big Lots) Plaza<br />

(207)783-1351<br />

auburnfamilydental.me<br />

Only<br />

$<br />

6.99<br />

for <strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> only<br />

I gotta<br />

get me a<br />

UFO!<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />

...with<br />

Jimbo<br />

Unbelievable Filling Object: Salami, Ham, Pepperoni, Provolone Cheese, American Cheese,<br />

Tomatoes, Lettuce, Green Peppers, Pickles, mayo, served on a toasted Round Roll<br />

Locally owned & operated<br />

Healthy Choices too! Soups, Salads & more!<br />

Donuts • UFO’s • Pizza | Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner<br />

Eat-In or<br />

Take-Out<br />

GEORGIO’S<br />

Serving Greater LA since the 1950s.<br />

783-2981<br />

740 Minot Avenue, Auburn • www.mygeorgios.com<br />

<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys<strong>Digest</strong>.com<br />

44 <strong>January</strong> <strong>2018</strong> 783-7039

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