Uncle Andy's Digest - June 2023

UNCLE 

DIGEST 

ANDY’S 

MELISSA’S 

Pub & Grill 

MONDAY 1/2 Price Apps eat-in only (excluding Wings & Nachos) 

Margarita Monday $ 6 

TUESDAY closed 

WEDNESDAY Wings $ 9 eat-in only 

$ 

1 OFF Well drinks All Wine $ 5.50 

THURSDAY Twisted Teas & Truly $3.50 

Tito’s Thursday 

675 Main St. Lewiston | 207.753.1446 | 

Great Food, Great Drinks, 

Great Beer Selection, 

Great Friends! 

Come in and see us! 

LIVE MUSIC 

follow our Facebook page 

for live entertainment 

and more delicious 

specials! 

FRIDAY & SATURDAY Prime Rib 

SUNDAY Talls for Smalls 

Bloody Mary’s $ 8 

Mention this ad in 

JUNE 

2023 

SINCE 1996 

and get $ 1 OFF your bill 

25 Lisbon St. Lewiston 

207.740.9053 

207THC.com 

207-782-7113 

Get Your FREE 

Quote Today! 

31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com 

GET REAL. GET HYUNDAI. 

Sales • Lease • Rentals • Parts & Service 

CHECK OUT OUR LARGE 

INVENTORY! 

Call Ryan Kennard 

207-346-0279 

Whited Equipment Co. is your New Factory Authorized Hyundai 

Construction Equipment Dealer for Central & Southern Maine. 

New & used available! 

Uncle Andy’s Digest 

UncleAndys.com 1 

whitedhyundai.com • (855) 882-4010 • Come see us at 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn

I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any. 

That’s why we bring health care to you. 

Skilled medical care in the comfort of your own home 

Recovery from illness or injury 

Chronic condition management 

Navigating emotional wellbeing 

Hospice care + Hospice House 

207.777.7740 | Androscoggin.org 

DON’T KNOW 

WHAT TO DO 

NEXT? WE DO. ® 

For any disaster, 

call ServiceMaster! 

WATER FIRE MOLD 

29 Brickyard Circle, 

Auburn 

(800) 244-7630 

(207) 539-4452 www.smfireandwater.com • www.smcarpetcleaning.com 

I can’t tell you what hotel I’m staying at, but there are two trees involved.

I failed math so many times at school, I can’t even count. 

MODERN WOODMEN 

OF AMERICA 

JUNE 2023 ACTIVITIES 

Tuesday, June 13 th 

Roy’s Breakfast 

7:00-10:00am 

5 Washington St. Auburn 

M: $5.00 G: $6.00 

Purchase Tickets: 6-07-2023 

(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Wednesday, June 14 th 

Dairy Joy 

3:00-7:00pm 

Lewiston or Auburn location 

M: $2.00 G: $2.50 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Thursday, June 15 th 

Val’s Drive-In 

4:00-6:30 pm 

925 Sabattus St. Lewiston 

M: $6.00 G: $7.50 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Tuesday, June 20 th 

Taber’s 

4:00-7:00pm 


M: $8.00 G: $10.00 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 


The Cheesy Skillet 

11:00am-12:30 pm 

80 Airport Drive Auburn 

M: $8.00 G: $10.00 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Saturday, June 24 th 

Community Shredding Event 

8:00-11:00 pm 

184 Webster St. Lewiston 

Free Event: Residential 

Household Only-Open to the 

public. Max of 5 boxes per 

household. 


Fielder’s Choice 

4:00-7:00 pm 

680 Minot Ave. Auburn 

M: $3.00 G: $3.50 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Reminder: Please do not call 

the restaurants. If you have a 

question, please call the office at 

207-782-1833 or 207-333-6052 

and speak with Jamie. Tickets 

must be purchased at the MWA 

District Office at 184 Webster 

Street Lewiston on the dates/ 

times listed for each activity. 

Menus are subject to change. 

No substitutions or add-ons. 

Most importantly - Have 

Fun! 

I know they say that money talks, but all mine says is Goodbye. 


UncleAndys.com 3


is published by the first 

Friday of every month by 

Maine Mountain Ocean 

Group, Inc. with its world 

headquarters located at 

9 Grove Street, Auburn, 

Maine, USA. 

Published and distributed 

since 1996 throughout 

Central Maine and mailed to 

subscribers all over the Free 

World. Subscriptions are 

$49 .95 /year. 

UncleAndys.com 

Office: 207-783-7039 

UAD Super Heroes 

CAPTAIN 

SUZY-Q 

BATGIRL 

STEPHANIE 

ELASTIGIRL 

PAM 

Like our 

name implies, 

we’ll help you 

SMILE 

AGAIN! 

Burrito: a sleeping bag for ground beef. 

Smile Again 

Dentures 

• Full Dentures 

• Immediate Dentures 

• Partial Dentures 

• Rebases 

• Relines 

• Repairs 

All work done on-site. 

Repairs usually 

same day service! 

WASP 

AMY 

HULK 

SMASH 

THOMAS 

IRONSIDES 

STEVE 

While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries 

very hard to ensure the accuracy 

of the information in our clients’ 

advertisements and our publication 

in general, we are not responsible 

for vendor availability, typographical 

errors, technical inaccuracies, 

product pricing errors, or omissions. 

Mike & Joe 

Adkins 

Licensed 

Denturists 

801 Webster Street, Lewiston 

smileagaindentures@gmail.com 

SmileAgainDentures.com 

514-0660 


4 June 2023 

Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear 

bright before you hear them speak.

MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSE 

EVERY MONDAY 

20% off 

all burgers 

30% off 

all drafts 

SAVE THE DATE! 

SATURDAY, AUG. 12 TH 

hosted by 

Dad deserves it! 

Treat Dad at Mac’s this Father’s Day! 

SUNDAY JUNE 18TH 

We Cater! 

Weddings, Banquets, Birthdays, 

Corporate Parties, and more! 

No event too BIG or SMALL... 

We cater it ALL! 

Mac’s 

offers the best 

catering service 

around! 

Cheers to all the 

awesome dads out 

there!! 

1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com 



Call us for a quote 

TODAY! 

It’s why I’m here. 

HATS 

MUGS 

EMBROIDERY 

SCREENPRINTING 

NOW OFFERING 

ONLINE STORES 

PENS 

BAGS 

Some things we all have in common. 

There’s nobody like me to protect the things 

we all value. 

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.® 

CALL ME TODAY. 

Contractors & 

Landscapers 

Reunions 

Summer Camps 

Road Races 

Charity 5k’s 

It is rare to hear a well-done steak joke. 

205 Washington St. 

South, Auburn 

207-784-4184 

coastaltshirts.com 

Out ‘n About at Uncle Andy’s Digest 

We all know 

I’m a princess, do I 

really need to wear the 

crown? This is so 

embarrassing. 

UNIQUE 

ADVERTISING 

OPPORTUNITY! 

Lydia wants to share the love. We want our readers to send in their adorable pet pics too! 

Are you a business that would want to sponsor that page? Call Pam Ashby for details 207.754.9494 



I asked my dog what’s two minus two. She said nothing.

They say that 3/2 people are bad at fractions. 

ALL 

STEAK 

HAMBURGERS 

& GOLF CENTER 

2514 TURNER RD. AUBURN 

OPEN DAILY 11AM - 7PM 

Famous Burgers 

Ice Cream 

& More! 

Out ‘n About at 

Maine B2B Trade 

Show 

by Dow Media at Norway 

Savings Arena 

MINI 

GOLF 

DRIVING 

RANGE 

BATTING 

CAGES 

DISC GOLF 

COURSE 

Amy St. Hilaire, 

Uncle Andy’s Digest & 

Malayka Harriman, 

Maine Source Realty 

BIRTHDAY PARTIES & CORPORATE EVENTS AVAILABLE 

207.782.2801 | RoysGolf.com | 

I put my grandma on speed dial the other day. I call it insta-gram. 

Christopher Abbott 

Camden National Bank 

I met some 

great people and 

businesses while I 

was here at the 

B2B! 

Dave Biron 

What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion. 





Show 


Savings Arena 

David Palazzolo, 

Camden National Bank 

I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it. 

THE AMERICAN LEGION 

FAMILY 

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays 

and get a surprise! 

“SEE YOU AT THE POST!” 

Members & Guests Welcome! 

AMERICAN LEGION ACT 

Veterans who were honorably discharged 

but whose service did not fall into previously 

defined war eras may now join 

the American Legion immediately. The 

eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941, 

until a time when the U.S. is no longer at 

war, as determined by Congress. 

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on 

Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!” 

For Veteran or Community services, call 

207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229 

Hall Rentals Available 

Call for more 

information 

207-782-1118 

71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118 

HOURS: Mon: 12-8p • Tue-Wed: 12-6 • Thurs: 12-9p 

Fri & Sat: 12-11p • Sunday: 11a-6p 

MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS 

FRIDAYS 7-11pm in JUNE 

Jerry Joe - June 2nd & 16th • 4:30 - 6:30pm 

SUNDAY, JUNE 18TH 

MONTHLY MEETING WEDNESDAY, JUNE 21 ST 

6:30 EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 7:00PM GENERAL MEMBERSHIP 

Legion Members attending have a chance to win $100, $50, or $25 

Bloody Mary Sundays 

by Kevin 

11a-6p! 

Since three out of four small businesses fail, my recommendation is to 

start a large business. 

Delan Fulgham 

Community Credit 

Union 

What a great 

way to connect 

with so many 

businesses in 

the area! 

Don’t let your boiler look like this 

Get your yearly boiler 

cleaning/servicing 

CLEANINGS ONLY 

220 .00* 

$ 

220 

*Plus materials if needed 

Emily Krook, Honeyfur 

Co. Virtual Assisting 

Services & Carrissa 

Hankins FNP-C, The 

Sleep NP, LLC 



CALL TODAY! 

207-754-4556 

DID YOU KNOW? 

Getting your domestic hot water from your boilers 

coil is the MOST EXPENSIVE way to get hot water! 

Ask about alternatives. 

I haven’t slept for 10 days because that would be too long.

I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. I mean, it makes sense. 

Shoes 

Submitted by Trevor Saunders 

I was on vacation and 

doing the normal tourist 

stuff in New Orleans 

and went down to the 

waterfront. I was sitting 

on a bench enjoying 

the view of the water 

when a guy came up 

to me and started a 

conversation and all of 

a sudden offered me 

a bet. 

He said, “I bet you five 

dollars I can tell you 

where you got your 

shoes.” 

I was from several 

states away so I figured 

there was no way 

this guy could guess 

which shoe store at the 

local mall I had purchased 

my sneakers 

at. So I agreed to the 

bet. 

The guy put out his 

hand for us to shake 

on it and assured me 

he would pay if he was 

wrong and asked me 

to do the same. I did. 

He grinned and 

said,”Now I’m gonna 

tell you where you got 

your shoes. You got 

your shoes on your 

feet!.” 

Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat 1,000 of something. 





Show 


Savings Arena 

We 

had the best 

neighbors at the 

trade show! 

Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her.. or something like that. 

Weddings & Rentals 

207-333-3251 

Erin Courtney, 

Maine Turnpike Authority 

Yeah! Because 

they had Pistachio 

Lindt chocolate! 

June 22 

11:30am 

June 29 

7pm 

Rebecca Grover 

Maine Turnpike Authority 

Grant Sperry, 

Maine Community Bank 

Denny Breau 

La Rencontre Lunch 

Doors 10:30am 

Sponsors: FACE Foundation, TV5Monde, 

Quebec Delegation Boston 

Underwriter 

Cash Bar at Both Events 

The Cobblestones 

concert 

Doors 6pm 

Sponsors: Roopers and 

Ouellette & Associates, P.A. 

46 Cedar Street, Lewiston, Maine 

Main Office 207-783-1585 

Box Office 207-689-2000 

www.francocenter.org 

Media Sponsors 

BENNETT RADIO GROUP 

Fu 

offi 



Maybe if we start telling people their brain is an app, they’ll want to use it.

HAS IT ALL 

SAVE THE DATE 

Saturday, August 12 th 

Your one-stop shop for: 

• Amazing food (eat in or take out) 

• Agency liquor store with beer cave 

• Lottery tickets 

• Redemption center 

207-345-5551 

23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com 

CATERING 

Full serve catering at your 

office or company event! 

Book Your 

2023 

Business 

Events 

Now! 

207-345-9009 

DadsPlaceCatering.com 

Dad’s Redemption Center 

REDEMPTION CENTER 

6 ¢ 

on all 5¢ returns with this coupon. 

Located in the building behind Dad’s Place 

Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm 

(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays) 

(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting) Uncle UAD Andy’s exp. 6.30.23 Digest 




Show 


Savings Arena 

Watch my 

epic cornhole 

skills! 

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders. 

COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL 

Specializing in: 

Commercial site projects 

House lots 

Septic systems 

Call us today! 

207.754.2343 

hirdcontracting@gmail.com 

Hendrix Perkins 

47 Broad Street, Auburn 

www.firehouseauburn.com 

207-376-4959 

Monday - Saturday 11a-9p 

JUNE Drink Special 

You’ll Love 

our Daily 

Specials! 

$ 

8 

Southern 

peach 

Josh & Tasha 

Perkins 

BURGER MONDAY Get $2 off your burgers! (dine-in only) • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey 

the greatest 5k series in the Lewiston Auburn area 

Register today! 

Kimberly Rose, 

Kimberly Rose 

Photography 

triplecrown5k.com 

JUNE 

4 

JULY 

16 

AUGUST 

27 

DONATE • VOLUNTEER • START A TEAM 



What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.

What’s a frog’s favorite type of shoes? Open toad sandals. 

Waiting for 

a Train 


John had to attend a 

large convention in Chicago. 

For this particular 

trip, he decided to bring 

his wife, Maggie. When 

they arrived at their 

hotel and were shown 

to their room, John said, 

“You rest here while I 

register - I’ll be back 

within an hour.” 

So, Maggie lies down 

on the bed and just 

then, an elevated train 

passes by very close to 

the window and shakes 

the room so hard she’s 

thrown out of the bed. 

Thinking this must be a 

freak occurrence, she 

lies down once more. 

The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran now. 

Out ‘n About at Garden Spot Farm 

Again a train shakes the 

room so violently, she’s 

pitched to the floor. 

Exasperated, Maggie 

calls the front desk and 

asks for the manager. 

The manager says he’ll 

be right up. 

The manager is skeptical 

but Maggie insists 

that it’s excessive. 

“Look, lie here on the 

bed - you’ll be thrown 

right to the floor!” exclaims 

Maggie. 

So they both lay down 

and wait for the train. 

Just then, John walks in. 

“What,” John says in an 

ominous tone, “is going 

on here?” 

Tyson, Layla, Karen, & Harper Abbott 

The manager replies, 

“Would you believe I’m 

waiting for a train?” 

Was the first forklift created to lift forks? 





Show 


Savings Arena 

If while fishing in the ocean you fall over board, you could be in for a Tuna problems. 

Leonard, I 

swear I didn’t 

fart. 

Leonard Kimble & 

Nick Gordon, 

The River Comics 

Barnabee, Norway 

Savings Arena Mascot 

FOR ADVERTISING INFO GO TO: 

UNCLEANDYS.COM 

LAMETROMAGAZINE.COM 

Nathan Sessions, 

Levin Marketing 

Solutions 



A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is this stool taken?’

Take my advice – I’m not using it. 

1940 ~ 2023 

• Restaurant 

• Mini Golf Course 

• Driving Range 

• Ice Cream Stand 

Tree Story 


Steve had a tree he 

wanted removed because 

it was too close 

to his house. Steve 

called a tree guy to 

have the tree removed. 

The tree guy came 

out and did a nice job 

cutting down the tree. 

Treat DAD to a family FUN day 

This Father’s Day! 

470 Lake Shore Drive Auburn • tabersgolf.com 

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. 

We’ve got you covered! 

Think Summer! 

THE CHAMPOUX GROUP 

CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS 

I N S U R A N C E 

...Your Security is Our Concern! 

Locally Owned & Operated Since 1999 

SUMMER HOURS 

Miniature Golf & 

Driving Range 

Open Daily 10am-9pm 

(weather permitting) 

Restaurant & Ice Cream Stand 

Open Daily 11am-9pm 

207-783-2246 • 150 East Ave. Lewiston • MaineInsuranceonline.com 

He ask Steve what 

he thought and Steve 

responded, “It’s nice 

but what about the 

stump?” 

“I’m just a tree guy 

who cut down trees, 

if you want the stump 

removed, you will need 

to call a stump guy,” he 

responded. 

Steve found a highly 

recommend stump guy 

and he came and got 

the stump out. 

When he was finished 

Steve asked him about 

the hole. 

“I’m just a stump guy, 

I only remove stumps, 

I don’t fill in the holes, 

you’ll have to call 

a landscaper,” he 

replied. 

Steve called a landscaper 

and told him he 

was getting ready to 

leave for vacation but 

needed a hole filled 

and just get it done 

one way or another. 

When Steve got back 

from vacation he found 

the landscaper planted 

a tree where the hole 

once was. 

An escalator can never break; it only becomes stairs. 





Show 


Savings Arena 

Randy Martin, 

Primerica Financial 

Services 

Great Falls 

Comedy Club, 

check them out! 

Steve Cornish, 

The Great Stephan 

Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop? 

OXFORD HILLS FAVORITE 

PIZZA & SANDWICH SHOP! 

Deli Sandwiches • Fresh Dough Pizzas 

Breakfast Sandwiches and More! 

Voted one of Maine’s Best Pizza Places! 

2016 WMTW Facebook Fan poll 

POLLY’S VARIETY 

115 King Street, Oxford 

207-539-8254 • www.pollysvariety.com 

June Special 

2 Bagel Breakfast 

Sandwiches 

Meat, Egg, & Cheese 

ONLY $ 8 

Monday - Tuesday: 5:30am - 7:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 5:30am - 8:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 7:00pm 

FULL SERVICE & 

REPAIR SHOP 

Heavy Duty Truck & 

Equipment Repairs 

State Inspection Station 

Commercial & Motor Vehicle Stickers 

Appointment Only 

207.784.8293 

plus tax 

Expires 6/30/23 


FUN in 

SUN 

the 

There’s no better place in 

LA to experience Summer 

than Pat’s Deck! 

Sue Joncas, 

Poland Spring Resort 

85 Center Street 

207-784-8221 

Open 11-9p Daily 



Geology rocks, but geography’s where it’s at.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side got amputated? He’s all right now. 

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it! 

Happy Father’s Day! 

Breakfast all day as well 

as delicious lunch items! 

Captain, My 

Captain! 


There’s this mighty sailing 

ship, a British frigate, 

cruising the Seven Seas, 

and one day the lookout 

shouts down from the 

crow’s nest, “Captain! 

Captain! There’s two 

pirate ships heading 

our way! They mean to 

attack! What should we 

do?” 

“Bring me my red shirt,” 

the captain responds. 

Angel Bennett, Marti & Louis Turgeon, Sue Gagnon, 

Mirinda Bickford & Tammy Allen 

87 Mill Street, New Auburn 

207-753-0171 

rollysnewauburn.com 

Monday-Saturday: 6a-2p • Closed Sunday 

Pollen is what happens when flowers can’t keep it in their plants. 

START YOUR NEXT CHAPTER 

WITH AGENTS YOU’LL LOVE! 

They bring him his red 

shirt, he puts it on, and 

leads his men into battle. 

It’s difficult, and there are 

a number of casualties, 

but they manage to beat 

back the pirates. 

That evening, after the 

survivors have gotten 

themselves bandaged up, 

they ask the captain why 

he called for his red shirt. 

“Because if I’m wounded 

and bleeding, I wouldn’t 

want the sight of my 

blood to destroy the 

morale of my men. But if 

I’m wearing my red shirt, 

no one will see it,” he 

explains. 

Well, the crew thought, 

“Wow. What a captain.” 

List/Sell • Buyer Agency • Design-Build • Turn-Key Package 

(No Construction Loan Needed in Most Cases) 

368 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 207.333.6001 • mainesourcehomes.com 

Jon 

Mercier 

Mark 

Turner 

Deb 

Morin 

Linda 

Dupuis 

Dustin 

Mallar 

Mason 

Dupuis 

Lindsay 

Wright 

Malayka 

Harriman 

Brandon 

Duarte 

The next day, another, 

even more worried, shout 

comes down from the 

crow’s nest, “Captain, my 

captain! There’s ten pirate 

ships heading our way, 

and they mean to board 

us! What should we do?” 

The frightened crew turns 

to their captain, but he 

doesn’t flinch and he calls 

out, “Bring me my brown 

pants!” 

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one. 



Worse Case 


Michael passed by his 

son’s bedroom and was 

astonished to see that 

his bed was nicely made 

and everything was 

picked up. Then he saw 

an envelope, propped up 

prominently on the pillow 

that was addressed to 

‘Dad.’ 

With dread, he opened 

the envelope and read 

the letter. 

Dear Dad, It is with great 

regret and sorrow that 

I’m writing you. I had to 

elope with my new girlfriend, 

Stacy because I 

wanted to avoid a scene 

with Mom and you. I 

have found real passion 

with Stacy. I knew you 

would not approve of her 

because of all her piercings, 

tattoos, tight 

motorcycle clothes and 

the fact that she is much 

older than I am. It’s not 

only the passion, Dad, 

she’s pregnant. Stacy 

said that we will be very 

happy. She owns a 

trailer in the woods and 

has a stack of firewood 

for the whole winter. We 

share a dream of having 

many more children. 

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 

and I know how to take 

care of myself. Someday 

I’m sure that we will be 

back to visit so that you 

can get to know your 

grandchildren. 

Love, your son, Corey 

PS Dad, none of the 

above is true. I’m over 

at Tommy’s house. 

PPS I just wanted to 

remind you that there 

are worse things in life 

than a school report 

card. That’s in my center 

desk drawer. I love you. 

Call me when it’s safe to 

come home. 



207-705-1866 

We ship chocolates 

anywhere in the country 

GGGGG 

LIVE MUSIC 

is back on 

Wednesdays! 

GGGGG 

My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast. 

MAKE 

RESERVATIONS 

TODAY! 

Receive 10% OFF your purchase when 

you mention the Uncle Andy’s ad 

Happy Father’s Day 

Make-A-Wish® basket raffle. 

$2 per ticket, or 3 for $5 

FRIDAY SPECIAL 

French toast breakfast 

buy one, get one 50% off 

Whoopie Pies • Chocolates-custom orders & in-stock 

Fresh homestyle breakfast & lunch • Gluten free options 

Hours: Monday-Saturday 9am-7pm 

550 Center Street, Auburn Mall • nuttynettieschocolate@gmail.com 

WASHRITE LAUNDROMAT 

laundry done right 

Wash & Dry Service Available 

ATM 

Change Machine 

Soap Dispenser 

Waiting Area with TV 

Folding Stations 


All New 

Machines 

*CLEAN* 

LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience! 

A PLACE 

THE WHOLE 

FAMILY WILL 

LOVE! 

40 East Avenue, Lewiston | www.sea40me.com | 207-795-6888 

A magician speaking Spanish tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. 

He says, ‘Uno, dos…” and poof! He disappeared without a tres.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed? 


Garden Spot Farm 

We can provide a warm and 

comfortable home for your loved one. 

Allison Corrow 

Garden Spot 

Farm is our 

favorite spot for 

flowers! 

Amy Crosby & 

Scout Carter 

A beautiful day 

here on Mother’s 

Day, and every day! 

The Chapman House has private rooms available for residents, 

aged 65 and older, who need assistance with bathing, 

medications, and meals. 

41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961 

Bonnie Iwans 

Beckie Conrad 

I heard math teachers go to Times Square for vacation. 



SCHEDULE OF EVENTS 

Launches 6am-6pm 

Moon Glow Friday at dusk 

Live music all weekend 

Parade Saturday 11am 

“For the Love of Animals Event” Festival Plaza Saturday 11am-3pm 

GFBF/American Red Cross Blood Drive Saturday 19 th 9am-2pm Auburn Senior C 

Family Fun Day Sunday 9-11am - Costume Party 



August 18-20th, 2023

Senior Center 

Our Mission 

The mission of the Great Falls Balloon Festival is to provide fundraising opportunities 

for local non-profit organizations, while celebrating our community and promoting the 

Lewiston/Auburn area as a visitor destination. 

www.greatfallsballoonfestival.org 





One minute your young and fun, and the next minute you’re turning down 

the stereo to see better. 

Discover insurance solutions from local industry experts 

dedicated to protecting your assets. From risk consulting 

to claims support, we’ve got you covered. 

John Blanchette, Sales Advisor | 207.784.9358 

john.blanchette@nfp.com 

Keira & Lydia 

Burden 

The Right 

Coverage at the 

Right Price. 

Copyright ©2022 NFP. All Rights Reserved. 

For your business. 

For your people. 

For your life. 

NFP.com 

Visit our new NFP office: 

681 Sabattus St | Lewiston, ME 04240 

Some 

might say 

I have a green 

thumb. 

Lancer Milliken 

Lauren Beganny 

& Camryn Coffin 

•Brewery•taproom•Café•Coffee by Design•Weekend Brunch• 

Visit our Facebook page for events & beer menu! 

1110 MINOT AVE., AUBURN 207.689.3030 

Bringing the Ocean to your Table 

Party 

Platters 

Available 

(orders only) 

Take out • Dine in 

Homemade Goods 

Gift Certificates Available 

WE HAVE 15+ DELICIOUS 

BEERS ON TAP 

- AND TO GO - 

BREWED HERE 

FOR YOU 

The freshest seafood around! 

Gray, ME 

Hours: Mon. 11a-5p • Tues.-Thurs. 10a-6p • Fri.-Sat. 10a-7p • Sun. 10a-5p 

/SIDEBYEACHBREWING 

WWW.SIDEBYEACHBREWING.COM 

WE HAVE 

LIVE 

LOBSTERS! 

Let us do the cooking! 

No extra charge! 

207-657-3474 

59c Portland Road, Gray 



If seagulls flew over the bay instead of the sea, would they be called bagels?

Now 

Hiring 

CAREER OPPORTUNITIES 

JOIN A TEAM THAT VALUES ITS MEMBERS! 

Scan here to 

Apply Today! 

www.debloiselectric.com 

Immediate openings for 

experienced licensed electricians 

They say the best things take time. That’s my excuse for always being late. 

Now 

Hiring 

Admittance 

Submitted by Thomas Hill 

Pat and Joe were out 

walking their dogs on a 

hot day, when they pass 

by a pub. 

Pat looks at his friend 

Joe and says “Let’s 

go in there for a quick 

drink.” 

Joe replies, “They won’t 

let us in with our dogs.” 

“Sure they will, just 

follow my lead.” 

Pat walks up to the pub, 

and sure enough the 

doorman tells him, “I’m 

sorry but I can’t let you 

in here with your dog.” 

Pat replies, “But I’m 

blind and this is my 

seeing-eye dog.” 

24 Hour 

Service 

235 N. River Road, Auburn 

207-777-5600 

www.pro-techrefrigeration.com 

protechoffice11@yahoo.com 

Now offering 

medical benefits! 

Fully Insured 

PRO-TECH REFRIGERATION 

IS GROWING! 

We are seeking 

EXPERIENCED 

SERVICE 

TECHNICIANS 

& INSTALLERS 

to join our team! 

Air Conditioning & Heating 

Proudly serving Auburn, Lewiston, 

and the surrounding communities! 

The doorman says, 

“Okay, well in that case, 

come on in.” 

Joe sees this and 

decides to do the same 

thing. He walks up to 

the front door, but the 

doorman says, “Sorry 

sir, you can’t come in 

here with a dog.” 

Joe replies, “I’m blind 

and this is my seeing-eye 

dog.” 

The doorman responds, 

“I don’t think so buddy. 

You mean to tell me 

you have a bulldog for a 

seeing-eye dog?” 

Joe stops for a second 

looking confused, and 

says, “They gave me a 

bulldog?” 

What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest. 



Paint Job 

Submitted by Pam Ashby 

If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes. 

Joline, wanting to earn 

some extra money, decided 

to hire herself out 

as a handyman-type 

and started canvassing 

a wealthy neighborhood. 

She went to the 

front door of the first 

house and asked the 

owner if he had any 

jobs for her to do. 

“Well, you can paint my 

porch. How much will 

you charge?” 

“How about fifty dollars?” 

Joline answered. 

GreatFallsComedyClub.com 

Local 

stand-up favs 

Professional 

touring comics 

Wide selection 

of drink options 

and plenty of 

parking! 

GreatFallsComedyClub@gmail.com 

207-200-5366 

Make 

Laughter 

a Priority 

located at 

Craft Brew 

Underground 

Auburn 

The man agreed and 

told her that the paint 

and ladders that she 

might need were in 

the garage. The man’s 

wife, inside the house, 

heard the conversation 

and said to her husband, 

“Does she realize 

that the porch goes 

all the way around the 

house?” 

The man replied, “She 

should. She was standing 

on the porch.” 

The Village Inn 

Serving our customers for over 40 years 

JOIN OUR FAMILY! 

Now Hiring Kitchen Staff 

Experience a Plus 

Serve Safe Certified - Increased 

starting Pay 

We offer Health, Dental, 

Vision, & Excellent food! 


Make Your Reservations Now! 

207.782.7796 | OPEN Wed.-Sun. 

165 High Street, Auburn 

villageinnmaine.com 

A short time later, Joline 

came to the door to 

collect her money. 

“You’re finished already?” 

he asked. 

“Yes,” Joline answered, 

“and I had paint left 

over, so I gave it two 

coats.” 

“Impressed, the man 

reached in his pocket 

for the $50. “And by 

the way,” Joline added, 

“that’s not a Porch, it’s 

a Ferrari.” 

BATTERY & CORE 

MAINE’S MOST 

TRUSTED RECYCLER 

Aluminum Rims 

are averaging 

$ 

16- $ 23/ea.* 

* depending on weight & 

current daily market 

15 Pierce St. Auburn 

Open Mon. - Fri. 8a - 4p 

maine-recycling.com (207)795-8887 



If an ear was 12 inches long, it would be a foot.

What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste. 



Mike, Crystal, & 

Alice Reilly 

Getting 

it done 

here at Garden 

Spot. 

BEER GARDEN REGATTA LIVE MUSIC 

SHOP LOCAL MARKET FOOD TRUCKS 

I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks. 


Rudy McKinnon 

When 

life hands 

you lemons... 

Max, Samantha, & Michelle Rudgers 

Ry, Sawyer, & 

Carl Langevin 

Neptunes is the kind of music planets like. 





If every day is a gift, today was definitely socks. 

Saturday, August 12 th 

1:00 - 10:00pm 

OUTSIDE, NEXT TO MAC’S GRILL 

1052 Minot Ave. Auburn 

UNCLE ANDY’S 

presents 

Sheila, Meadow, 

& Blake Finamore 

Fun for 

Everyone! 

Valerie Belknap 

Roger & Shannon 

Allen 

• Kid’s Zone w/ Inflatable 

Obstacle Course 

• HUGE Silent Auction 

• Dunk Tank 

• Face Painting 

• Mr. Drew & His Animals Too 

• Great Food 

• Beer Garden & Full Bar 

• 50/50 

A great 

Community 

Event! 

Food, Fun, & Music 

hosted by 

OUR AMAZING S 

Karyn Allen 



What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

NDY’S DIGEST 

presents 

Snoop Dogg uses an umbrella fo’ drizzle. 

3 

BANDS! 



Find 

Garden Spots 

ad on page 28 to see 

what we have going 

on! 

1-3pm:Tatooed Lies 

3-5pm:Fire in the Hole 

6-9pm: Skosh 

9-10pm: Fire in the Hole 

& Skosh 

The Grand Finale Summer 

Block Party is bound to be the best 

yet. Great bands and fun for everyone, 

come help us reach our goal to reach 100 

wishes through all 9 Summer Block 

Party events! 

Danielle & Pearl 

Peterson 

Music to Benefit 

hosted by 

A Summer Event You 

Won’t Want to Miss! 

Dennis Peaslee 

Sometimes you 

just have to stop 

and smell the 

flowers! 

ING SPONSORS! 

LASummerBlockParty.com 

MINOT COUNTRY STORE 

Community Sponsors: 

Auburn Savings Bank 

DuBois Realty Group 

Fortin Funeral Homes 

Media Partners: 

Julia and Nicole 

Gowen 

A bear with no teeth is a gummy bear. 




Oxford Auto Sales 

If 

you’re in the 

market for a vehicle, 

you should check these 

guys out! 

250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury. No, I’m not fat. 

I’m just not on the right planet. 

Father’s Day! 

We are a great place to shop - lots of gift ideas! 

Mr. Giasson 

Totally 

diggin my new 

truck! 

Mr. Danforth 

All we want 

to do now is take 

a drive in our new 

Tahoe! 


186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus, ME • (207) 375-6253 

2 Miles Off I-95 Exit 86 Family Owned & Operated 

Call ahead for 

bulk deliveries 

& loading 

• Mulch 

• Loam 

• Compost 

• 50/50 Compost/ 

Loam Mix 

Full Line of 

Bagged Mulch • Soils 

Fertilizers • Pro-Mix 

Garden Tools • Potting Soil 

GREENHOUSE & GARDEN CENTER 

OPEN EVERY DAY 8 - 4 

896 Lawrence Rd. No. Pownal • 207-688-4462 

www.GardenSpotFarm.com 

Look for specials on Facebook! 

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE 

FOR ALL YOUR FLOWER AND VEGETABLE GARDEN NEEDS 

Tree & Shrubs 

Asparagus & 

Strawberry Plants 

Seed Potato • Seeds 

Proven Winners 

10” to 12” Hanging Combination 

10” Fuchsia hanging baskets $ 28 

Annual Flats, Herb & Vegetable Flats 

& Pots • Geraniums 

Eligible for Medicare? 

UAD June 2023 Page 16 

10 greenhouses full 

of annual, perennial, 

vegetable and 

herb plants! 

CALL US TODAY 

to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs. 

30+ 

Years of 

Experience! 

The Thompson’s 



Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston 

As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way, I think to myself, 


maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me. 

896 Lawrence Rd. No. Pownal 

207-688-4462 


Proudly Supporting

I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he’s a compulsive liar, but I don’t believe him. 

G 

PAINTING & DRYWALL 

COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL 

G 

& 

WE’RE HIRING 

CARPENTERS & 

SKILLED LABORERS 

APPLY ONLINE AT HEBERTCONSTRUCTION.COM 

Michael Giambra 

207-754-9798 

giambra34@gmail.com 

207-783-2091 • 150 MILL STREET, SUITE 3, LEWISTON, ME 04240 

CAMPING SEASON IS A FEW MONTHS AWAY! 

Will you be ready? 

MYOXFORDAUTOSALES.COM 

497 Main St. Oxford 

CALL OF THE WILD RV CENTER 

848 Main Street, Oxford 

207-539-4410 • www.callofthewildrv.com 

BRING Home Cooking HOME 

SALES • SERVICE • DETAILING 

OWNERS 

Arthur Reynolds 

Sandy Reynolds 

207-539-1055 

Derek Roy 

207-740-4776 

SERVICE TECHS 

Mike Wood 

Phil Reiman 

Poisson & Sons Auto Care 

260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144 

FULL SERVICE GAS STATION 

Offering homemade meals, 

snacks, and treats to eat-in 

or take home. 

~ fresh or frozen ~ 

~ single or family-size ~ 

meals • soups • salads • desserts 

7 main st., gray | 657.1092 | twomumskitchen.com 

Quality Service at a fair price 

Are you ready for Summer? 

June 2023 

Stickers are due! 

Welcoming new students for 

in person lessons! 

LA’S # 1 STOP FOR ALL 

YOUR MUSIC NEEDS! 

LESSONS • REPAIRS 

SALES • RENTALS 

Main Street Music Lessons 

33 Dunn Street, Auburn 

www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com 

207-376-3376 

207-783-0000783-0000 

corporateintelligenceinc.comtelligenceinc.com 

No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store. 



You have two parts of the brain, “left” and “right” – in the left side, there’s nothing right and in the right side, 

there’s nothing left. 

Step 

/2023 

/2023 

HEALTH & FITNESS 

VIAGRA and CIALIS USERS! 50 Generic Pills SPECIAL 

$99.00. 100% guaranteed. 24/7 CALL NOW! 888-445-5928 

Hablamos Español 

Dental insurance - Physicians Mutual Insurance Company. 

Covers 350 procedures. Real insurance - not a discount 

plan. Get your free dental info kit! 1-855-526-1060 www. 

dental50plus.com/ads #6258 

Attention oxygen therapy users! Inogen One G4 is capable 

2x2 

of full 24/7 oxygen 

Display 

delivery. Only 2.8 pounds. 

Ad 

Free info kit. 

Call 877-929-9587 

MISCELLANEOUS 

Network 

Prepare for power outages today with a GENERAC home 

standby generator $0 Down 

Insertion 

+ Low Monthly Pmt Request a free 

Quote. Call before the next power outage: 1-855-948-6176 

Eliminate gutter cleaning forever! LeafFilter, the most 

Order 

advanced debris-blocking gutter protection. Schedule free 

LeafFilter estimate today. 20% off Entire Purchase. 10% 

Senior & Military Discounts. Call 1-833-610-1936 

-In Tub 

BATH & SHOWER UPDATES in as little as ONE DAY! 

Affordable prices - No payments for 18 months! Lifetime 

warranty & professional installs. Senior & Military Discounts 

available. Call: 855-761-1725 

Donate Your Car to Veterans Today! Help and Support our 

Veterans. Fast - FREE pick up. 100% tax deductible. 

Call 1-800-245-0398 

HughesNet - Finally, super-fast internet no matter where 

you live. 25 Mbps just $59.99/mo! Unlimited Data is Here. 

Stream Video. Bundle TV & Internet. Free Installation. Call 

866-499-0141 

Become a published author. We want to read your book! 

Dorrance Publishing trusted since 1920. Consultation, 

production, promotion & distribution. Call for free author’s 

guide 1-877-729-4998 or visit dorranceinfo.com/ads 

ot run in AK, HI. Included are both the black & white 

olor versions so that you will have whichever you 

r to run. This ad is to run one time per publication. 

DISH TV $64.99 For 190 Channels + $14.95 High Speed 

Internet. Free Installation, Smart HD DVR Included, Free 

Voice Remote. Some restrictions apply. Promo Expires 

1/31/24. 1-866-479-1516 

The Generac PWRcell solar plus battery storage system. 

Save money, reduce reliance on grid, prepare for outages 

& power your home. Full installation services. $0 down 

financing option. Request free no obligation quote. 1-877- 

539-0299 

Safe Step. North America’s #1 Walk-in tub. Comprehensive 

lifetime warranty. Top-of-the-line installation and service. 

Now featuring our free shower package & $1600 off - limited 

time! Financing available. 1-855-417-1306 

Switch and save up to $250/yr on talk, text & data. No 

contract or hidden fees. Unlimited talk & text with flexible 

data plans. Premium nationwide coverage. 100% U.S. 

based customer service. Limited time get $50 off any new 

account. Use code GIFT50. 

1-855-903-3048 

MobileHelp, America’s premier mobile medical alert system. 

Whether you’re home or away. For safety & peace of mind. 

No long term contracts! Free brochure! 1-888-489-3936 

Free high speed internet if qualified. Govt. pgm for recipients 

of select pgms incl. Medicaid, SNAP, Housing Assistance, 

WIC, Veterans Pension, Survivor Benefits, Lifeline, Tribal. 15 

GB internet. Android tablet free w/one-time $20 copay. Free 

shipping. Call Maxsip Telecom! 1-833-758-3892 

Inflation is at 40 year highs. Interest rates are way up. 

Credit Cards. Medical Bills. Car Loans. Do you have $10k 

or more in debt? Call National Debt Relief to find out how to 

pay off your debt for significantly less than what you owe! 

Free quote: 1-877-592-3616 

Wesley Financial Group, LLC Timeshare Cancellation ExpertsOver 

$50,000,000 in timeshare debt & fees cancelled 

in 2019. Get free info package & learn how to get rid of 

your timeshare! Free consultations. Over 450 positive 

reviews. 833-308-1971 

DIRECTV Stream - Carries the most local MLB Games! 

Choice Package $89.99/mo for 12 mos Stream on 20 

devices at once. HBO Max included for 3 mos (w/Choice 

Package or higher.) No contract or hidden fees! Some 

restrictions apply. Call IVS 1-866-859-0405 

Call today and receive a 

FREE SHOWER PACKAGE 

PLUS $1600 OFF 

1-855-417-1306 

With purchase of a new Safe Step Walk-In Tub. Not applicable with any previous 

walk-in tub purchase. Offer available while supplies last. No cash value. Must present 

offer at time of purchase. CSLB 1082165 NSCB 0082999 0083445 

SPECIAL OFFER 

Prepare for power 

outages today 

WITH A HOME STANDBY GENERATOR 

$0 MONEY DOWN + LOW MONTHLY PAYMENT OPTIONS 

Contact a Generac dealer for full terms and conditions 

REQUEST A FREE QUOTE 

CALL NOW BEFORE THE NEXT POWER OUTAGE 

(866) 643-0438 

*To qualify, consumers must request a quote, purchase, install and activate the 

generator with a participating dealer. Call for a full list of terms and conditions. 

FREE 

7-Year Extended 

Warranty* 

A $695 Value! 



Call today and receive a 

FREE SHOWER PACKAGE 

PLUS $1600 OFF 

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas. 

SPECIAL OFFER

BUSINESS 

SP TLIGHT 

Richard Moylan 

(207) 777-0050 

791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn 

richardmoylan@allstate.com 

Insurance and coverages subject to terms. 

qualifications and availability. Allstate Property 

and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire 

and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, 

Illinois © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company 

207-782-7141 


It’s Pizza Day 

EVERY DAY 

207-782-7141 

Professional 

Cleaning Service 

207-712-2765 

realcleanllc@yahoo.com 

realcleanllc.com 

Serving Maine 

Androscoggin 

PET SITTING 

Call today! 

207.712.2765 

androscogginpetsitting@gmail.com 

andropetsit.com 

207.577.6484 

528 Lincoln Street 

Lewiston 

Pooper Scooping Services 

No time to scoop 

the poop? 

We can help! 

We scoop so you don’t have to! 

207-713-1550 

LAMETROMAGAZINE.COM 

GET 2”X2”AD IN JULY 

FOR ONLY $ 50 AND WE’LL 

DONATE THE 

PROCEEDS TO MAKE-A- 

WISH MAINE scan the QR 

code below to donate now! 

MAKE-A-WISH 

SQUARES 

SCAN, PAY, AND UPLOAD 

YOUR IMAGE RIGHT FROM 

HERE— IN ONE EASY STEP. 

OR EMAIL 

DESIGN@UNCLEANDYS.COM 

WE APPRECIATE YOUR 

DONATION TO MAKE-A-WISH 

Current relationship status: Made dinner for two. Ate both. 



Call 

for your 

FREE QUOTE 

Today! 

CALL THE PROS 

Your Vision. 

Our Expertise. 

Kitchens, Baths, 

Decks, & More! 

SUMMER IS MADE FOR RELAXING 

Massage is designed to help. 

Call to 

book your 

personalized 

treatment! 

RON’S 

TRANSMISSION REPAIR SERVICE 

YOUR FULL SERVICE 

REPAIR FACILITY 

MAKE SURE YOUR VEHICLE 

IS READY FOR SUMMER 

VEHICLE MAINTENANCE 

CHECKS DONE HERE 

375-4924 

515 Gardiner Rd. Wales 

207-212-7791 

www.vghomeimprovements.com 

Specializing in Domestic & Truck, 

Automatic & Manual Transmissions, 

Transfer Cases, & Differentials 

Ron 

Charpentier, Jr., 

Owner 

Specializing in Heat Pumps/AC, Oil & Gas Furnace 

Mon., Wed., Fri. 11a-7p • Thu. 9a-7p • Sat. 12p-5p 

Add 4 Months to Your Watersports 

Season with a Wetsuit 

• Swimming 

• Snorkeling 

• Scuba 

• Water-ski 

We can help you 

stay warmer longer! 

229 Center Street, Auburn 

(207) 402-8654 

www.lamassagemaine.com 

CHILDRENS 

TOO! 

805 Main Street 

Lewiston 

784-7300 

Coach Terry’s 

REDEMPTION 

CENTER 

The friendly redemption center 

Ryan Queen • hvacsolutions207@gmail.com 

Don’t put it off, have your cooling system checked 

Our experienced professional technicians can help! 

Your Radiator Repair & 

Air Conditioning EXPERTS 

High Quality Maintenance & Automotive Repairs 

Lincoln Street 

RADIATOR SHOP 

Family owned & operated since 1967 

207-784-9356 

1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston 

HEAT IS 

COMING! 

Monday-Friday: 8a-5p 

June 18th 

8 Tidswell Road Turner 

207-225-2008 

Open daily 8am to 4pm 

Amy St. Hilaire 

Marketing Specialist 

207.402.1070 

amy@ 

UncleAndys.com 

9 Grove Street, 

Auburn, ME 04210 

Office: 

207-783-7039 



If I had 9 fingers missing, I wou;dn’t type any slower.

CALL THE PROS 

Shuga Shak Country Store 

Maple Baked Beans 

every Saturday! 

Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services 

Mike Magretto 

Veteran Owned & Operated 

EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 207-530-8890 

Serving 24 flavors of 

Soft Serve Ice Cream 

Open Thurs.-Sun. 10a-5p 

Wine • Local Products 

Honey • Pickles • Jams 

Candies • Crafts... 

and much more! 

450 Pigeon Hill Road (Rte 

26), Mechanic Falls 

207-576-7886 

REALTY 

REALTY 

Call/Text 207-447-2103 ME License # SA925692 

christine.kennedy@exprealty.com | christinekennedy.exprealty.com 

Call/Text 207-740-0596 ME License # BR924660 

sam.prindle@exprealty.com | www.TallHouseGuy.com 

FINE LINE GUN SHOP 

Guns • Ammo • Supplies 

Check out 

our Facebook 

page for our 

finelinegun@aol.com 

newest 

inventory! 

207-998-2374 

Ralph & Mary Sleeper 

590 Plains Road, Poland 

Serving Greater Central Maine 

Ensuring 

Your Home 

is a Safe Place 

RICK BROWNING 

Certified Inspector 

207-619-0868 

upfronthi@gmail.com 

A.D.A. Compliant 

Fully Insured 

• Custom ATM Surrounds 

• Kiosk Maintenance 

• ATM Site Refurbishing 

• Mobile Events & Full Service ATM Placement 

• Custom Branding Vinyl Wraps 

Daniel Bouthot • 207.576.1719 • dbouthot@versatrades.com 

brothersfencing@me.com 

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it. 



New Golfer 

Submitted by Steve Simard 

Gabe, who just retired 

was given a set of golf 

clubs by his former 

co-workers. 

Thinking he’d try the 

game, he asked the 

local pro for lessons, 

explaining that he 

knew nothing whatever 

of the game. 

The pro showed Gabe 

the stance and swing, 

then said, “Just hit the 

ball toward the flag on 

the first green.” 

Gabe teed up his golf 

ball and smacked 

it straight down the 

fairway and onto 

the green, where it 

stopped inches from 

the hole. 

I have 3 kids and no money, why I can’t I have no kids and 3 money. 

Check out our in-store Weekly Ad for our 2023 specials! 

Roy’s 

FOODLAND 

SATURDAY 

Beans, bread/rolls & 

cole slaw 

$11.99 

WEDNESDAY 

Ham, Veggie, Salami, 

or Pepperoni Italians 

$2.99 

PIZZA PACKS 

Pizza 

Packs 

$12.99 

June 

18 th 

Best Chicken & 

Ham Salad 

IN THE WORLD! 

Try our hamburger, 

it’s the best! 

Beanie Babies 

on Sale Here! 

70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471 

www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com 

Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm • Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed 


Beautiful 

flowers on a 

beautiful day! 

“Now what?” Gabe 

asked the speechless 

pro. 

“Uh... now you’re 

supposed to hit the ball 

into the cup,” the pro 

finally said. 

Roger & Trudy Pusher with Jazmin 

“Oh great! NOW you 

tell me,” replied Gabe. 

RoySnow.com 

207.782.3734 

Serving Maine since 1947 

11 Library Ave. 

Auburn 



People say I’ve got no willpower but I’ve quit smoking loads of times.

CALL THE PROS 

• Decks, sheds 

• Basement remodels 

• Light Carpentry 

• Plowing & Sanding 

• Fully Insured 

Commercial & Residential 

Joe Scammom 

207.402.1330 

Casa 

Taco 

Del 

32 Riverside Drive, Auburn 

OPEN 

Thursday - Saturday 

11am - 6pm 

• Birra Tacos 

• Street Corn 

• House-made Guac 

• Sasla & Chips 

WE CATER EVENTS 

LARGE & SMALL 

Call us today! 

207.740.0574 

Ouellette’s Cleanup 

Handyman Services 

Farralee Ouellette, proprietor 

Providing janitorial 

& lawn care services 

Residential & Commercial 

PO Box 72 

Paris, Maine 04271 

207-376-5151 

A woman-owned 

business with 

more than 6 years 

experience! 

FULL COLOR COPIES & MORE! 

Posters • Booklets • Carbonless forms 

Envelopes • Business Cards & More! 


207-782-0525 • evergreencustomprinting.com 

Call Today for a Free Quote! 

MAINE GOURMET CHOCOLATES 

Accounting 

& Tax 

Service You 

Can Trust! 

MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A. 

Certified Public Accountant 

Tax Planning & Preparation 

for Individuals and Business 

207.782.1040 • PO Box 895, Auburn, ME 04212 

mspaulding@androscoggin.tax 

Always FREE samples for tasting! 

Visit Us for All Your Sweets! 

GLUTEN FREE! 

Barks, Brittles, Truffles, 

Nonpareils, Needhams, 

& Retro Candy 

168 Main St. Auburn 

207.783.8472 

mainegourmetchocolates.com 

Your trusted, 

nonprofit resource 

for assistance 

and information 

OFFERING 

Residential 

Commercial 

Clean Outs 

Roll Offs 

844-ME-TRASH 

844-638-7274 

Medicare counseling • Caregiver support 

Educational programming • Meals on Wheels 

seniorsplus.org • 1-800-427-1241 

The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service! 

SERVING 

Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland 

Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples 

9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com 

The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a 

really tough sentence. 



Proudly Supporting 


896 Lawrence Rd. No. Pownal 

207-688-4462 



Thank you to everyone that has donated or 

participated in making Wishes come true! 

FADDEN 

CUSTOM PEST SERVICES 

Edward Fadden 

edward_fadden@yahoo.com 

207-576-9750 

Top 

Pay! 

Make a payroll 

mistake? 

NOW We’ll HIRING fix it. 

Experienced line cooks 

401K & Health Insurance Available 

Earned Paid Leave • Food Discounts 

1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn 

783-6885 • MacsGrill.com 

“I have 170 seasonal employees. 

Mistakes do happen. Someone 

Helping make wishes come forgets true! to punch in or punch 

out, and Payroll Management is 

Johnny-on-the-spot to get it fixed.” 

THE EMERGENCY 

GODCASTING SYSTEM 

Make a payroll 

mistake? 

98.6 

The Mix 

Home Page 

We’ll fix it. 

Tune in every Wednesday 

8:00 - 10:00 AM 

This is a once-a-week Christian radio broadcast. 

Steve Simard 

“I have 170 seasonal employees. 

Mistakes do happen. Someone 

forgets to punch in or punch 

Businesses 

out, and 

& 

Payroll 

individuals 

Management 

can help make 

is 

it 

possible 

Johnny-on-the-spot 

to grant a wish for a 

to 

child 

get 

suffering 

it fixed.” 

from a serious illness. Please Donate! 

– Call CYNDI me ROBBINS 

to find out 

The 

how! 

Poland Inn Resort and 

207-754-1815 

Cyndi’s Dockside Restaurant 

steve@uncleandys.com 

Reduce your risk and 

partner with us today 

PAYROLLMGT.COM 

800-734-6880 | Auburn, M 

– CYNDI ROBBINS 

The Poland Inn Resort and 

Cyndi’s Dockside Restaurant 

If you’re going to drive me to drink, drive me to The Cage! 

Reduce your risk and 

partner with us today. 

call Pat Penley 

PAYROLLMGT.COM 

207-860-9380 

800-734-6880 | Auburn, ME 



This message is brought to you by all of us at Uncle Andy’s Digest, and its advertise

Transform lives, 

one wish at a time. 


Oxford Auto Sales 

I 

couldn’t be 

happier with my 

new Subaru 

shop local 

scan me 

give us a 

squeeze 

We can’t PREDICT the future, 

but we can PROTECT it. 


NICOLE LAJOIE 

207-753-6222 

nicole@champoux-ins.com 

Shapiro Property Management 

and rental 

We proudly support 

207-530-8890 

Resilience Physical 

Therapy & Wellness, LLC 

THE CHAMPOUX GROUP 

CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS 

I N S U R A N C E 

“Recover What 

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Jason Burtchell, PT, OCS, Cred. MDT 

Board Certified Orthopedic Specialist 

Certified in the McKenzie Method 

207-707-1409 

www.resilienceptw.com 

...Your Security is Our Concern! 

Kaleb Davis 

Mortgage Banker 

NMSL# 1545778 

Kaleb Davis 

Mortgage Banker - NMLS# 1545778 

P: (207) 240-8250 

E: KalebDavis@Leader1.com 

79 Main Street, Suite 213 - Auburn, ME 04210 

(207) 240-8250 


KalebDavis.Leader1.com 

KalebDavis@Leader1.com 

Mortgage 

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with EASE Engage. Accomplish. Simplify. Empower. TM 

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friend 

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info@shapirorental.com 

New 

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cleaning! 

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• Water Damage Drying 

Commercial & Residential 

Call Today! 

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advertisers. Let’s support local businesses and frequent them at every opportunity. 



www.LASummerBlockParty.com 

I recently met a limo driver who was in business for over 30 years. Despite trying his hardest, he didn’t get one 

single customer…all this time and nothing to chauffeur it. 

It’s our 

last year! 

Saturday, August 13, 2022 

FOOD, FUN, & MUSIC TO BENEFIT 

SATURDAY, AUGUST 12 TH 

We are excited to bring you our 8th annual Summer Block Party and hope you’ll consider 

sponsoring this great community event. Help us grant wishes here, right in our backyard. 

CONSIDER BEING A SPONSOR 

PRESENTING 

WISH 

SPONSOR 

$7,000 

SPONSOR 

OF 

STRENGTH 

$5,000 

LASummerBlockParty.com 

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OF 

HOPE 

$2,500 

STAR 

SPONSOR 

$1,000 

COMMUNITY 

SPONSOR 

$500 

Industry Exclusivity 

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Recognition on Block Party Website ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ 

Multiple social media channel shout-outs ✓ ✓ ✓ 

Logo featured on video wall ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ 

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Logo in Make-A-Wish event E-Blast ✓ 

Be a part of a 

record-breaking 

year! 

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I once owned a paper business but it folded.

When you can’t say ‘let’s just forget the whole thing’, you know crisis level has been reached. 

Christina Lavers 

Roopers Minot Ave Employee 

ROOPERSBEVERAGE.COM 

We are delighted to take a 

moment to acknowledge 

the outstanding service 

provided by Christina 

Lavers, one of our exceptional 

cashiers at the Minot 

Ave. Roopers. She has 

consistently demonstrated 

an unwavering commitment 

to excellence and has made 

a remarkable impact on our 

customers and team. 

With a warm smile and a 

friendly greeting, Chris creates 

an inviting atmosphere 

for all who walk through our 

doors. She possesses a deep 

knowledge of our extensive 

range of beverages, and 

her memory of customers’ 

names and special orders is 

impressive. 

301 Main St., Auburn | 783.9098 

545 Minot Ave., Auburn | 783.2047 

980 Main St., Oxford | 539.6072 

Jesse St Laurent states: 

“Chris’ hard work makes our 

jobs a lot easier. Her pleasant 

and welcoming smile 

starts everyone’s morning 

on Minot Ave. She just gets 

things done with no questions 

asked! Chris always 

leaves our store looking 

better than when she found 

it. We are truly blessed to 

have her and her dedication 

to Roopers and her team. 

We love you Chris!” 

Even after a tough year, 

Chris keeps smiling and 

that is one of the things we 

appreciate most about her. 

Chris, thank you for being 

you. We are proud of you 

and proud to have you on 

the Roopers team! CHEERS! 

794 Sabattus St., Lewiston | 783.6353 

686 Main St., Lewiston | 344.1200 

1420 Lisbon St., Lewiston | 333.3095 

Home Support 

Physical, Speech, & 

Occupational Therapy 

Physical, speech, and 

occupational therapy services. 

Care & Comfort in your own home or our office. 

368 Minot Avenue, Suite 3, Auburn 

Phone: 207-333-5022 • Fax: 207-333-5089 

Cell: 207-513-2279 • Email: davispt2019@icloud.com 

I see they’re thinking about using drones to deliver magazines, that’ll raise some issues. 



LOVE YOUR VEHICLE ALL OVER AGAIN! 

Review on February 9th 2023: “I am highly impressed with BDD! I had my car done today and it is absolutely 

immaculate. Abdirahman drove all the way out to Naples to pick up my car, and back again to drop it off. He was super 

nice and did an amazing job on my car-we will definitely be asking for him for all our car detailing needs! The business is 

excellent with communication and they definitely know how to keep customers happy. 10/10 would recommend!” 

207.740.8963 | Vehicle Pick-up and Drop-off available | follow us 

I made a huge to-do list today, now to figure out who’s going to do it all. 

RMS has joined the Guild Mortgage family 

We are stronger together 

409 SABATTUS STREET , LEWISTON 

Debbie Bodwell 

NMLS# 280336 

Debbie.Bodwell@guildmortgage.net 

181 Center Street, Auburn, ME 04210 

207.754.3962 

I am authorized to do business in the states of Maine, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org) 

Guild Mortgage Company; NMLS #3274; Equal Housing Opportunity; www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org. 


UNCLEANDYS.COM 

40 June 2023

Uncle Andy's Digest - June 2023

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