Uncle Andy's Digest - APRIL 2023
It's April, and the warm weather is on it's way. In the meantime, we've put together some funny stuff in the April 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
It's April, and the warm weather is on it's way. In the meantime, we've put together some funny stuff in the April 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
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UNCLE<br />
DIGEST<br />
ANDY’S<br />
We’re Open!<br />
<strong>APRIL</strong><br />
<strong>2023</strong><br />
SINCE 1996<br />
proudly serving<br />
137 Spring St. Auburn<br />
109 Campus Ave. Lewiston<br />
www.dairyjoyla.com<br />
207-782-7113<br />
Get Your FREE<br />
Quote Today!<br />
31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com<br />
GET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.<br />
Sales • Lease • Rentals • Parts & Service<br />
CHECK OUT OUR<br />
LARGE INVENTORY!<br />
Call Ryan Kennard<br />
207-346-0279<br />
Whited Equipment Co. is your New Factory Authorized Hyundai<br />
Construction Equipment Dealer for Central & Southern Maine.<br />
New & used available!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 1<br />
whitedhyundai.com • (855) 882-4010 • Come see us at 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn
Dogs. Because when everyone looks at you like you’re crazy, they look at you like you’re amazing.<br />
That’s why we bring health care to you.<br />
Skilled medical care in the comfort of your own home<br />
Recovery from illness or injury<br />
Chronic condition management<br />
Navigating emotional wellbeing<br />
Hospice care + Hospice House<br />
207.777.7740 | Androscoggin.org<br />
Spring<br />
newhome<br />
new<br />
• One Loan<br />
• Design-Build<br />
• Turn-Key Packages<br />
• Single or Multi-Level Homes<br />
into a<br />
368 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 207.333.6001 • mainesourcehomes.com<br />
No Construction Loan<br />
Needed in Most Cases<br />
Jon<br />
Mercier<br />
Mark<br />
Turner<br />
Toni<br />
Ferraro<br />
Deb<br />
Morin<br />
Linda<br />
Dupuis<br />
Dustin<br />
Mallar<br />
Mason<br />
Dupuis<br />
Lindsay<br />
Wright<br />
Malayka<br />
Harriman<br />
Brandon<br />
Duarte<br />
Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
If I only knew then what I know now but keep forgetting.<br />
MODERN WOODMEN<br />
OF AMERICA<br />
<strong>APRIL</strong> <strong>2023</strong> ACTIVITIES<br />
Tuesday, April 11 th<br />
Roy’s Breakfast<br />
7:00-10:00am<br />
5 Washington St. Auburn<br />
M: $5.00 G: $6.00<br />
Purchase Tickets: 4-05-<strong>2023</strong><br />
(8:30am-1:00pm)<br />
Wednesday, April 12 th<br />
Gridiron Restaurant<br />
4:00-7:00pm<br />
1567 Lisbon St. Lewiston<br />
M: $9.00 G: $11.00<br />
Purchase Tickets: 4-05-<strong>2023</strong><br />
(8:30am-1:00pm)<br />
Tuesday, April 18 th<br />
Dairy Queen<br />
4:00-7:00pm<br />
661 Minot Ave. Auburn<br />
M: $5.00 G: $6.00<br />
Purchase Tickets: 4-05-<strong>2023</strong><br />
(8:30am-1:00pm)<br />
Thursday, April 20 th<br />
Fielder’s Choice<br />
4:00-7:00pm<br />
680 Minot Ave. Auburn<br />
M: $3.00 G: $3.50<br />
Purchase Tickets: 4.-05-<strong>2023</strong><br />
(8:30am-1:00pm)<br />
Reminder: Please do not call<br />
the restaurants. If you have a<br />
question, please call the office at<br />
207-782-1833 or 207-333-6052<br />
and speak with Jamie. Tickets<br />
must be purchased at the MWA<br />
District Office at 184 Webster<br />
Street Lewiston on the dates/times<br />
listed for each activity. Menus are<br />
subject to change. No substitutions<br />
or add-ons.<br />
Most importantly - Have Fun!<br />
How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 3
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
is published by the first<br />
Friday of every month by<br />
Maine Mountain Ocean<br />
Group, Inc. with its world<br />
headquarters located at<br />
9 Grove Street, Auburn,<br />
Maine, USA.<br />
Published and distributed<br />
since 1996 throughout<br />
Central Maine and mailed to<br />
subscribers all over the Free<br />
World. Subscriptions are<br />
$49 .95 /year.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com<br />
Office: 207-783-7039<br />
UAD Super Heroes<br />
CAPTAIN<br />
SUZY-Q<br />
90% of all statistics are made up.<br />
DON’T BE AFRAID TO<br />
Smile<br />
M<br />
ELASTIGIRL<br />
PAM<br />
All work done on-site.<br />
Repairs usually same day service!<br />
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Smile Again<br />
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HULK<br />
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IRONSIDES<br />
STEVE<br />
While <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong> tries<br />
very hard to ensure the accuracy<br />
of the information in our clients’<br />
advertisements and our publication<br />
in general, we are not responsible<br />
for vendor availability, typographical<br />
errors, technical inaccuracies, product<br />
pricing errors, or omissions.<br />
Mike & Joe<br />
Adkins<br />
Licensed<br />
Denturists<br />
801 Webster Street, Lewiston<br />
smileagaindentures@gmail.com<br />
SmileAgainDentures.com<br />
514-0660<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
4 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them.
MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSE<br />
EVERY MONDAY!<br />
20% off Burgers &<br />
10% Off All Drafts<br />
Let Mac’s Cater Your Next Event!<br />
Weddings, Banquets, Birthdays, Corporate Parties, and more!<br />
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Go<br />
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Come watch your<br />
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on 11 TV’s in our bar...<br />
not a bad seat in the<br />
house!<br />
1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 5
The only perfect science is hindsight.<br />
Join Our Team<br />
It’s why I’m here.<br />
Some things we all have in common.<br />
There’s nobody like me to protect the things<br />
we all value.<br />
Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.®<br />
CALL ME TODAY.<br />
We’re looking for a part-time graphic designer.<br />
Must be proficient with Adobe InDesign etc.<br />
Social media skills a plus.<br />
Fun Environment<br />
Flexible Schedule<br />
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Email pam.ashby@lametromagazine.com<br />
Perspective<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
Timmy’s dad felt that<br />
Timmy had been<br />
spending too much<br />
time on video games<br />
lately. One night after<br />
dinner, the dad sat him<br />
down to talk about it.<br />
“You know, Timmy,<br />
when Abraham Lincoln<br />
was your age, he<br />
used to walk several<br />
miles to school just to<br />
get his education. He<br />
used to study books at<br />
night by the light of the<br />
fireplace.”<br />
“Oh yeah? Well when<br />
Abraham Lincoln was<br />
your age, he was<br />
president of the United<br />
States.”<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
6 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not.
I hate clichés, they’re a dime a dozen.<br />
Lewiston - Champoux Insurance Agency has<br />
officially awarded a $10,000 donation to<br />
Make-A-Wish Maine<br />
Call us for a quote<br />
TODAY!<br />
HATS<br />
MUGS<br />
EMBROIDERY<br />
SCREENPRINTING<br />
*<br />
NOW OFFERING<br />
ONLINE STORES<br />
*<br />
Contractors &<br />
Landscapers<br />
THINK<br />
SPRING!<br />
Baseball • Softball<br />
Lacrosse • Track<br />
205 Washington St.<br />
South, Auburn<br />
207-784-4184<br />
coastaltshirts.com<br />
Out ‘n About at Nutty Netties for the<br />
Easter Bunny<br />
Dolar Smith IV with<br />
Mr. & Mrs. Easter Bunny<br />
PENS<br />
BAGS<br />
Thanks to the communities’ support, Champoux<br />
Insurance Agency has officially awarded a $10,000<br />
donation to Make-A-Wish Maine, a local organization<br />
dedicated to bringing hope, strength and joy to<br />
children with life-threatening medical conditions.<br />
Make-A-Wish Maine serves children in 16 counties<br />
and this $10,000 donation will allow them to grant<br />
one wish to a child in their own state who has been<br />
diagnosed with a critical illness.<br />
Kacey LePage, Account Executive for Champoux<br />
Insurance Agency, originally received a $5,000 donation<br />
for Make-A-Wish Maine thanks to a submission process<br />
with Liberty Mutual® and Safeco Insurance® through<br />
their 2022 Make More Happen Awards. A story of<br />
their local partnership was featured on the official<br />
Make More Happen microsite:<br />
www.agentgiving.com/Champoux-Insurance-Agency,<br />
where Champoux Insurance Agency had the<br />
opportunity to raise an additional $5,000 by<br />
conducting a local awareness campaign for the<br />
nonprofit. Together with the community, the goal<br />
was met increasing the total donation to $10,000 for<br />
Make-A-Wish Maine!<br />
Throughout 2022, Liberty Mutual® and Safeco<br />
Insurance® will select up to 37 independent agents<br />
nationwide for a Make More Happen Award and<br />
Liberty Mutual® and Safeco Insurance® will donate<br />
up to $370,000 to the nonprofits supported by<br />
independent insurance agents. Agencies became<br />
eligible for the award by submitting an application<br />
and photos demonstrating their commitment to a<br />
specific nonprofit.<br />
I want time to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically I want to be in Kindergarten.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 7
Out ‘n About at<br />
Shuga Shak<br />
for Maple Syrup Sunday<br />
Brandon Abbott<br />
Mister Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood.<br />
Happy<br />
Easter!<br />
TENDER BEEF SIRLOIN<br />
sautéed with broccoli & mushrooms<br />
in a teriyaki sauce<br />
Take Out<br />
Available!<br />
207-782-2135 Auburn Mall<br />
Tues. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm<br />
DAILY SPECIALS<br />
MONDAY - CLOSED<br />
Fried Pickle Basket<br />
Thatcher’s Burger<br />
25oz domestic drafts<br />
3 Beef Tacos<br />
Thatcher’s Burrito<br />
Well Margaritas • Coronas<br />
SATURDAY<br />
Stuffed Peppers<br />
Buffalo Chicken Salad<br />
Microbrews<br />
2 Hot Dogs w/fries<br />
Miller Lite Bottles<br />
SUNDAY<br />
TUESDAY<br />
WEDNESDAY<br />
THURSDAY<br />
FRIDAY<br />
Clam Cake Basket<br />
Fish & Chips<br />
12" Cheese Pizza<br />
Bloody Mary’s<br />
Domestic Light/Lite Drafts<br />
At the end of the day your feet should be dirty, your hair messy and your eyes sparkling.<br />
Diane Freve<br />
Maple Syrup<br />
Sunday is one of<br />
my favorite days of<br />
the year!<br />
Cheryl Horton<br />
THE AMERICAN LEGION<br />
FAMILY<br />
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays<br />
and get a surprise!<br />
“SEE YOU AT THE POST!”<br />
Members & Guests Welcome!<br />
AMERICAN LEGION ACT<br />
Veterans who were honorably discharged<br />
but whose service did not fall into previously<br />
defined war eras may now join<br />
the American Legion immediately. The<br />
eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941,<br />
until a time when the U.S. is no longer at<br />
war, as determined by Congress.<br />
RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on<br />
Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!”<br />
For Veteran or Community services, call<br />
207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229<br />
Hall Rentals Available<br />
Call for more<br />
information<br />
207-782-1118<br />
71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118<br />
HOURS: Mon: 12-8p • Tue-Wed: 12-6 • Thurs: 12-9p<br />
Fri & Sat: 12-11p • Sunday: 11a-6p<br />
MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS, FRIDAYS 7-11pm in <strong>APRIL</strong><br />
Jerry Joe - April 7th & 21st • 4:30 - 6:30pm<br />
HAPPY EASTER!<br />
Open Easter Sunday - 3pm - close<br />
SATURDAY, <strong>APRIL</strong> 15 TH<br />
CHICKEN PARMESAN DINNER, 4-6PM<br />
Pasta, Salad w/ Dressings, & Dinner Roll $12/pp<br />
BREAKFAST BUFFET • SUNDAY, <strong>APRIL</strong> 16 TH , 8-10AM<br />
Scrambled eggs, sausage, gravy, bacon, baked beans, fried potatoes, crépes,<br />
toast/creton w/coffee and juice • Adults: $10 • Kids under 10: $5.00<br />
PATRIOTS DAY • MONDAY, <strong>APRIL</strong> 17 TH<br />
Red Sox vs. Angels - 11:10 Game Time<br />
Hot Dogs, Burgers, Chicken Tenders, Fries, and More. Join the Fun!<br />
OFFICER INSTALLATION • SATURDAY, <strong>APRIL</strong> 21 ST<br />
Happy Hour - 5pm – Ceremony - 6pm<br />
SATURDAY, <strong>APRIL</strong> 29 TH<br />
Live Music 7-11PM with Continental Shakedown<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
8 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
My mind’s made up, don’t confuse me with facts.
I’m sorry for the things I said when it was winter.<br />
Providing a warm and comfortable<br />
home for our residents<br />
The Chapman House has private rooms available for residents,<br />
aged 65 and older, who need assistance with bathing,<br />
medications, and meals.<br />
ATTENTION<br />
Lewiston<br />
High School<br />
Class of 1958<br />
Submitted by Mike Willette<br />
We are trying to reach<br />
our classmates for<br />
our 65th class reunion<br />
in July, <strong>2023</strong>.<br />
If you know any of<br />
them please let them<br />
know we are planning<br />
and need to have<br />
them join us!!<br />
We have had a reunion<br />
every 5 years<br />
since graduation and<br />
we’re at it again!<br />
We need your responses<br />
so we can<br />
accommodate all who<br />
would like to come.<br />
We don’t want to miss<br />
anyone!<br />
Our usual sources of<br />
communication don’t<br />
work as well as they<br />
used to because land<br />
lines have disappeared,<br />
and many of<br />
us don’t use Facebook,<br />
etc. Many also<br />
have new addresses.<br />
For more information<br />
call:<br />
Mike Willette<br />
207-212-5174<br />
or Joan Tankey<br />
207-576-6590.<br />
We hope to hear<br />
from you soon!<br />
41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961<br />
Bonnie Iwans<br />
I tried to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 9
Out ‘n About at<br />
Shuga Shak<br />
for Maple Syrup Sunday<br />
If you do not say it, they can’t repeat it.<br />
CONCERTS<br />
ALL ARE WELCOME!<br />
Tickets<br />
on sale<br />
now!<br />
Diane Jewell<br />
Don Campbell Concert<br />
Party time! Dance to original and cover<br />
music – there’s never a dull moment!<br />
Concert sponsor: Maine Community Bank<br />
7 p.m.<br />
Saturday, April 15<br />
Cash bar and doors open at 6 p.m. Dancing all night!<br />
Jeff Coolidge<br />
Jen Kyllonen<br />
The Court Jesters<br />
John Hasnip and Tina Charest perform a<br />
diverse array of original music and cover songs.<br />
Concert sponsor: Roopers<br />
7 p.m.<br />
Thursday,<br />
April 20<br />
More events: June 22: La Rencontre with Denny Breau; June 29: The Cobblestones;<br />
FREE Parlez-Vous? French conversation meetups every other Thursday morning;<br />
Tours of our beautiful building the former St. Mary’s Church by appointment.<br />
46 Cedar Street, Lewiston www.FrancoCenter.org<br />
Box Office 207-689-2000<br />
Underwriter<br />
Media Sponsors<br />
Jimmy Fernald<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
10 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
I raced my pet pig at the fair. I had to pull him out of the race when he<br />
pulled a hamstring.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.<br />
Come see Kathy & Joe!<br />
Scan<br />
here to<br />
see our<br />
menu!<br />
Out ‘n About at<br />
Gritty’s<br />
for St. Patrick’s Day<br />
Order Online! Visit our website: stationgrillrestaurant.com<br />
EASTER SUNDAY BREAKFAST BUFFET<br />
$<br />
14.95 all you can eat<br />
MOTHER’S DAY BREAKFAST BUFFET<br />
MOTHER’S DAY BREAKFAST BUFFET<br />
$<br />
14.95 al you can eat<br />
Kaitlin Gallagher<br />
Make<br />
sure you get<br />
my good side!<br />
Tuesday - Saturday: 7am-2pm • Sunday: 7am-3pm<br />
dinner: Thurs., Fri., & Sat. 4-8pm<br />
103 Lincoln Street, Lewiston<br />
207-333-5062<br />
Now Hiring Cooks at both locations!<br />
Station Grill Restaurant & Schmengees Bar & Grill<br />
Back by popular<br />
demand!<br />
DINNER HOURS<br />
Starting April 13 th<br />
Thursday through Saturday 4-8pm<br />
• Rib Eye<br />
• Teriyaki glazed Salmon<br />
• Seafood Casserole<br />
• New York Strip<br />
Full Bar • Cocktails • Beer • Wine<br />
Matthew Shaw<br />
Dinner<br />
Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />
Two roaches were<br />
munching on garbage<br />
in an alley when one<br />
engages a discussion<br />
about a new<br />
restaurant.<br />
“I was in that new<br />
restaurant across the<br />
street,” said one. “It’s<br />
so clean! The kitchen<br />
is spotless, and the<br />
floors are gleaming<br />
white. There is no<br />
dirt anywhere—it’s so<br />
sanitary that the whole<br />
place shines.”<br />
“Please,” said the other<br />
roach frowning. “Not<br />
while I’m eating!”<br />
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 11
NORDS GET READY TO ROLL !<br />
<strong>2023</strong> HOME SCHEDULE - Catch the action at The Colisée.<br />
SPONSORED BY:<br />
DON’T MISS THESE<br />
UPCOMING HOME GAMES<br />
April 1<br />
April 7<br />
April 8<br />
April 14<br />
April 15<br />
OPPONENT DATE TIME<br />
<strong>APRIL</strong><br />
Johnstown 4/1/23 7pm<br />
Titans 4/7/23 7:05pm<br />
Titans 4/8/23 7pm<br />
Philly 4/14/23 7:05pm<br />
Philly 4/15/23 7pm<br />
We’re looking for<br />
billets for next<br />
season!<br />
Please email<br />
info@mainenordiques.com<br />
if you’re interested in<br />
hosting a player next<br />
season!<br />
Visit MaineNordiques.com to see our full 22-23 schedule.<br />
We’re MORE than a Club —<br />
We’re a Special Events Venue too.<br />
www.thecolisee.com<br />
<strong>APRIL</strong> EVENTS<br />
Open every Friday at 5:00pm<br />
WE OFFER:<br />
• Seating capacity of 130<br />
• Catering services available<br />
• Fully stocked bar<br />
• Audio visual support<br />
BOOK YOUR EVENT or SCHEDULE a WALK THROUGH:<br />
email us at info@thecolisee.com.<br />
FRIDAY<br />
April 7 th at 9:00pm<br />
COMEDY CLUB<br />
FRIDAY<br />
April 21 st at 8:30pm<br />
COMEDY CLUB<br />
FRIDAY<br />
May 5 TH at 8:30pm<br />
LIVE MUSIC<br />
INSIDE THE COLISÉE CLUB<br />
thecolisee.com/the-colisee-club/<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
12 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
SCAN THE<br />
QR CODES<br />
TO CONNECT<br />
TO OUR<br />
SOCIAL<br />
CHANNELS
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.<br />
It’s Almost Time!<br />
Warmer weather means outside dining!<br />
Out ‘n About at<br />
The Cage<br />
for their Grand Re-Opening<br />
85 Center Street<br />
207-784-8221<br />
Open 11-9p Daily<br />
Ashley Cook &<br />
Donna Terrio<br />
The Right<br />
Coverage at the<br />
Right Price.<br />
Discover insurance solutions from local industry experts<br />
dedicated to protecting your assets. From risk consulting<br />
to claims support, we’ve got you covered.<br />
John Blanchette, Sales Advisor | 207.784.9358<br />
john.blanchette@nfp.com<br />
Copyright ©2022 NFP. All Rights Reserved.<br />
For your business.<br />
For your people.<br />
For your life.<br />
NFP.com<br />
Visit our new NFP office:<br />
681 Sabattus St | Lewiston, ME 04240<br />
Steve Beaulieu<br />
Payback<br />
Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />
•Brewery•taproom•Café•Coffee by Design•Weekend Brunch•<br />
WE HAVE 15+ DELICIOUS<br />
BEERS ON TAP<br />
- AND TO GO -<br />
BREWED HERE<br />
FOR YOU<br />
Visit our Facebook page for events & beer menu!<br />
1110 MINOT AVE., AUBURN 207.689.3030<br />
/SIDEBYEACHBREWING<br />
WWW.SIDEBYEACHBREWING.COM<br />
My five year old son<br />
squealed with delight<br />
when he opened his<br />
birthday present from<br />
his grandmother. It<br />
was a water pistol. He<br />
promptly ran to the sink<br />
to fill it.<br />
“Mom,” I said. “I’m<br />
surprised at you. Don’t<br />
you remember how we<br />
used to drive you crazy<br />
with water pistols?”<br />
My mom smiled and<br />
said, “Yes, I remember.”<br />
You never know what you have until … you clean your house.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 13
Out ‘n About at<br />
Shuga Shak<br />
for Maple Syrup Sunday<br />
I wonder if the guy who coined the term, “One Hit Wonder”, came up with any<br />
other phrases.<br />
We’ve got you covered!<br />
Think Spring!<br />
Tiffany Tripp<br />
from Muddy Toes Pottery<br />
Come<br />
see us! Check<br />
our ad on page<br />
34!<br />
THE CHAMPOUX GROUP<br />
CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS<br />
I N S U R A N C E<br />
...Your Security is Our Concern!<br />
Locally Owned & Operated Since 1999<br />
207-783-2246 • 150 East Ave. Lewiston • MaineInsuranceonline.com<br />
I lost my voice today, I can’t tell you how annoying it is.<br />
Verna Coolidge<br />
Benefiting<br />
Dress Up<br />
Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />
A little girl was watching<br />
her parents dress<br />
for a party. She<br />
noticed that her father<br />
was putting on his<br />
tuxedo.<br />
“Daddy, you shouldn’t<br />
wear that suit.” the<br />
little girl said.<br />
“Why not?” he asked.<br />
“Because it always<br />
gives you a headache<br />
the next morning.”<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
14 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
We’re proud sponsors of<br />
Make-A-Wish Maine<br />
and have granted<br />
81 WISHES in<br />
eight years at our<br />
Annual event!<br />
Save the Date<br />
AUGUST 12, <strong>2023</strong><br />
SPONSORSHIPS AVAILABLE<br />
Call for more details. 207-783-7039<br />
It turns out the answer to my problems wasn’t at the bottom of this pint of ice cream,<br />
but at least I tried.
HAS IT ALL<br />
Your one-stop shop for:<br />
• Amazing food (eat in or take out)<br />
• Agency liquor store with beer cave<br />
• Lottery tickets<br />
• Redemption center<br />
207-345-5551<br />
23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com<br />
Catering<br />
Full serve catering at your<br />
office or company event!<br />
Book Your<br />
<strong>2023</strong><br />
Business<br />
Events<br />
Now!<br />
207-345-9009<br />
DadsPlaceCatering.com<br />
Dad’s Redemption Center<br />
REDEMPTION CENTER<br />
6 ¢<br />
on all 5¢ returns with this coupon.<br />
Located in the building behind Dad’s Place<br />
Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm<br />
(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays)<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting) <strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com<br />
UAD exp. 4.30.23 15
WOMEN’S<br />
WORK<br />
Submitted by Steve Simard<br />
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.<br />
Betty’s husband, Jack,<br />
always claimed that<br />
housework was a<br />
woman’s job. But Jack<br />
was frustrated that<br />
Betty was always tired<br />
for the bedroom.<br />
One evening, Betty<br />
arrived home from<br />
work to find the<br />
children bathed, one<br />
load of laundry in the<br />
washer and another<br />
in the dryer. Dinner<br />
was on the stove, and<br />
the table set. She was<br />
astonished!<br />
It turns out that Darrell<br />
had read an article that<br />
said, “Wives who work<br />
full-time and had to do<br />
their own housework<br />
were too tired to have<br />
bedroom fun.” The<br />
night went very well.<br />
The next day, she told<br />
her office friends all<br />
about it. “We had a<br />
great dinner. Darrell<br />
even cleaned up the<br />
kitchen. He helped<br />
the kids do their<br />
homework, folded all<br />
the laundry and put it<br />
away.<br />
“I really enjoyed the<br />
evening,” beamed<br />
Betty to her coworkers.<br />
“But what about<br />
afterward?” asked her<br />
friends.<br />
“Oh that, Darrell<br />
was too tired,” Betty<br />
shrugged.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
16 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
I went to buy some camo pants but couldn’t find any.
GGGGG<br />
LIVE MUSIC<br />
is back on<br />
Wednesdays!<br />
GGGGG<br />
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.<br />
MAKE<br />
RESERVATIONS<br />
TODAY!<br />
LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience!<br />
A PLACE<br />
THE WHOLE<br />
FAMILY WILL<br />
LOVE!<br />
40 East Avenue, Lewiston | www.sea40me.com | 207-795-6888<br />
Out ‘n About at<br />
Gritty’s<br />
for St. Patrick’s Day<br />
Chet Matthews<br />
Chief Highlander<br />
of the Kora Highlanders<br />
MAY 6, <strong>2023</strong><br />
We Throw the Best Parties!<br />
FREE event space! Never a room charge!<br />
Dining and catering menus available with no deposit needed!<br />
68 Main Street, Auburn<br />
(207) 376-2739<br />
Follow us on Facebook<br />
for our weekly events!<br />
Separate checks? No problem!<br />
LET US TAKE CARE OF YOU!<br />
Come have fun<br />
with us!<br />
monday<br />
Cribbage<br />
drop-in • 5:30 sign-up<br />
tuesday<br />
Cornhole<br />
dining room • 8pm<br />
wednesday<br />
Karaoke &<br />
Water Pong<br />
8pm<br />
James Ginjo<br />
Bennett<br />
Kora Highlanders Potentate<br />
Kora Highlander<br />
Bagpipers<br />
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 17
Out ‘n About at<br />
The Cage<br />
for their Grand Re-Opening<br />
Katrina Berry &<br />
Mike DiLodovico<br />
The<br />
Cage is a longtime<br />
favorite spot<br />
for a cold beverage!<br />
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.<br />
47 Broad Street, Auburn<br />
www.firehouseauburn.com<br />
207-376-4959<br />
Monday - Saturday 11a-9p<br />
April Drink Special<br />
Blackberry Coconut<br />
Mojito<br />
You’ll Love<br />
our Daily<br />
Specials!<br />
$<br />
9<br />
BURGER MONDAY Get $2 off your burgers! (dine-in only) • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey<br />
Eligible for Medicare?<br />
CALL US TODAY<br />
to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs.<br />
30+<br />
Years of<br />
Experience!<br />
Bruce Soper<br />
One lucky guy,<br />
surrounded by<br />
beauty!<br />
Kristen Kasner,<br />
Mitch Roberge, &<br />
Liz Collier<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
18 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
• Whoopie Pies<br />
• Chocolates - custom orders and in-stock<br />
• Fresh homestyle breakfast and lunch menu<br />
• Gluten free options<br />
• Personalized experience<br />
We ship chocolates<br />
anywhere in the country<br />
Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston<br />
Happy Mother’s Day<br />
Make-A-Wish® basket raffle.<br />
$2 per ticket, or 3 for $5<br />
Friday Special:<br />
French toast breakfast<br />
buy one, get one 50% off<br />
207-705-1866<br />
Hours: Monday-Saturday 9am-7pm<br />
550 Center Street, Auburn Mall • nuttynettieschocolate@gmail.com<br />
Curling seems like the kind of game made up so we can trick our kids into<br />
cleaning the floor.
They say you should live in the moment. Can I pick another moment?<br />
Out ‘n About at<br />
Shuga Shak<br />
for Maple Syrup Sunday<br />
Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!<br />
Breakfast all day as well<br />
as delicious lunch items!<br />
Happy Easter!<br />
Jon Staples<br />
from Shefs Cupboard<br />
Ray DeBlois, Andy Bosse,<br />
Steve Morin, and Mitch DeBlois<br />
87 Mill Street, New Auburn<br />
207-753-0171<br />
rollysnewauburn.com<br />
Monday-Saturday: 6a-2p • Closed Sunday<br />
Maple ice<br />
cream was a<br />
hit!<br />
Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.<br />
Kora ShrinerS<br />
sportsmen expo<br />
Returning this year<br />
COMEDIAN JUSTON MCKINNEY<br />
Thank you to Bangor Savings Bank for sponsoring this show<br />
Win an Outdoor Activity Raffle Package<br />
50/50 Cash Raffle to be drawn on April 23rd<br />
3 RD ANNUAL KORA SHRINERS<br />
SPORTSMEN EXPO<br />
No Admittance Cost!<br />
<strong>APRIL</strong> 21-23, <strong>2023</strong><br />
Kora Shrine Center<br />
11 Sabattus Street, Lewiston, ME<br />
The Sportsmen Expo will feature vendors who promote outdoor activities<br />
for the entire family including hunting, fishing, skiing, and camping<br />
merchants as well as ATV, snowmobile and backyard game suppliers.<br />
Proceeds benefit the Kora Shrine and are not deductible as a charitable donation.<br />
FOR MORE<br />
INFO VISIT<br />
KORASHRINERS.ORG/<br />
SPORTSMEN<br />
Natalie & Rudy<br />
Kyllonen<br />
& Bob Hebert<br />
Did someone<br />
say ice<br />
cream?<br />
Stephanie Hazelton<br />
& Miracle McDevitt<br />
Some people have issues. I have a subscription.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 19
Out ‘n About at<br />
Nutty Netties<br />
for the Easter bunny<br />
Get your<br />
Easter treats at<br />
Nutty Netties!!<br />
One good turn gets most of the blankets.<br />
OXFORD HILLS FAVORITE<br />
PIZZA & SANDWICH SHOP!<br />
Deli Sandwiches • Fresh Dough Pizzas<br />
Breakfast Sandwiches and More!<br />
Voted one of Maine’s Best Pizza Places!<br />
2016 WMTW Facebook Fan poll<br />
<strong>APRIL</strong> SPECIAL<br />
3 Ham Italian<br />
Sandwiches<br />
ONLY $ 18 .99<br />
plus tax<br />
POLLY’S VARIETY<br />
115 King Street, Oxford<br />
207-539-8254 • www.pollysvariety.com<br />
Expires 4/30/23<br />
Monday - Tuesday: 5:30am - 7:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 5:30am - 8:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 7:00pm<br />
Mr. Easter Bunny &<br />
Annette Buccheri<br />
Out & About at American Legion Post 153 for St. Patrick’s Day<br />
Emotional<br />
Extremes<br />
Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />
The aspiring psychiatrists<br />
were attending<br />
their first class on<br />
emotional extremes.<br />
“Just to establish some<br />
parameters,” said<br />
the professor to the<br />
student from Arkansas,<br />
“What is the opposite<br />
of joy?”<br />
“Sadness,” said the<br />
student.<br />
“And the opposite of<br />
depression?” he asked<br />
of the young lady from<br />
Oklahoma.<br />
“Elation,” she replied.<br />
“And you sir,” he said<br />
to the young man from<br />
Texas, “how about the<br />
opposite of woe?”<br />
The Texan replied, “Sir,<br />
I believe that would be<br />
giddy-up.”<br />
GIFT<br />
CARDS<br />
AVAILABLE<br />
COMING<br />
SOON!<br />
Hanging<br />
Plants<br />
Bulk deliveries<br />
available, call ahead<br />
• Mulch<br />
• 50/50 Compost/Loam<br />
• Compost<br />
• Loam<br />
Bobby Sue Walton, Kathy Kenny, and Denise Strait<br />
GREENHOUSE & GARDEN CENTER<br />
OPEN EVERY DAY 9 - 4<br />
896 Lawrence Rd. No. Pownal • 207-688-4462<br />
www.GardenSpotFarm.com<br />
Pansies are in bloom<br />
10 greenhouses full of annual, perennial,<br />
vegetable and herb plants!<br />
Full Line of<br />
Bagged Mulch • Soils<br />
Fertilizers • Pro-Mix<br />
Garden Tools • Potting Soil<br />
Tree & Shrubs (May)<br />
Asparagus &<br />
Strawberry Roots<br />
Seed Potato • Seeds<br />
FOR ALL YOUR FLOWER AND VEGETABLE GARDEN NEEDS<br />
Time to<br />
get the<br />
SEEDS<br />
started!<br />
Opening<br />
April<br />
3rd!<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
20 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
I just found out, after more than 100 years the pool on the Titanic is still full!
I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.<br />
Out ‘n About at<br />
Gritty’s<br />
for St. Patrick’s Day<br />
For any disaster, Call ServiceMaster!<br />
ServiceMaster - The clean up experts after floods, fire, or mold.<br />
29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn<br />
(800) 244-7630<br />
(207) 539-4452<br />
www.smfireandwater.com<br />
www.smcarpetcleaning.com<br />
PIPES FREEZE?<br />
WATER DAMAGE?<br />
I’m having some vision trouble today. I can’t see myself doing anything.<br />
Tania<br />
Sorry<br />
sir, we have<br />
good beer, not<br />
green beer.<br />
Kaitlyn<br />
heartofhopecharity.com<br />
Jaclyn Bergmann<br />
That first kiss in the morning is so special, and the dog enjoys it, too.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 21
Now<br />
Hiring<br />
Out ‘n About at<br />
The Cage<br />
for their Grand Re-Opening<br />
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES<br />
24 Hour<br />
Service<br />
PRO-TECH REFRIGERATION<br />
IS GROWING!<br />
We are seeking<br />
EXPERIENCED<br />
SERVICE<br />
TECHNICIANS<br />
& INSTALLERS<br />
to join our team!<br />
Maria LaBonte &<br />
Chris Hopkins<br />
We’re<br />
ready for<br />
some music!<br />
235 N. River Road, Auburn<br />
207-777-5600<br />
www.pro-techrefrigeration.com<br />
protechoffice11@yahoo.com<br />
Now offering<br />
medical benefits!<br />
Fully Insured<br />
Air Conditioning & Heating<br />
Proudly serving Auburn, Lewiston,<br />
and the surrounding communities!<br />
Whiteboards are remarkable.<br />
JOIN A TEAM THAT VALUES ITS MEMBERS!<br />
Scan here to<br />
Apply Today!<br />
Melissa Smith &<br />
Travis Benner<br />
www.debloiselectric.com<br />
Immediate openings for<br />
experienced licensed electricians<br />
Buddy Taylor &<br />
Angela LaFontaine<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
22 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
It’s all fun and games until your metabolism slows down.
Now<br />
Hiring<br />
CAREER OPPORTUNITIES<br />
Now<br />
Hiring<br />
Brutally<br />
Honest<br />
Submitted by Steve Simard<br />
HIRING LOCAL<br />
CDL-A DRIVERS<br />
4-day work week/ 40 hours guaranteed<br />
$4,000 SIGN ON BONUS!<br />
$80,000/yr. potential earnings<br />
✓ Home Daily and No Sundays<br />
✓ Training rate is $27.75<br />
✓ Hourly rate $29.75 (plus OT)<br />
✓ Paid Weekly<br />
✓ Work-life Balance<br />
✓ 401K Retirement Plan with Company Match<br />
✓ Competitive Benefits Package (beginning on day one)<br />
Medical, dental, vision, paid holidays, & vacations<br />
AND SO MUCH MORE!<br />
Apply online today at: pepsicojobs.com (Auburn, ME)<br />
An investment counselor<br />
decided to go out<br />
on her own. She was<br />
shrewd and diligent, so<br />
business kept coming<br />
in, and pretty soon<br />
she realized that she<br />
needed an in-house<br />
counsel.<br />
The investment banker<br />
began to interview<br />
young lawyers.<br />
“As I’m sure you can<br />
understand,” she started<br />
off with one of the<br />
first applicants, “in a<br />
business like this, our<br />
personal integrity must<br />
be beyond question.”<br />
She leaned forward.<br />
“Mr. Mayberry, are you<br />
an honest lawyer?”<br />
“Honest?” replied the<br />
job prospect. “Let me<br />
tell you something<br />
about honest. Why,<br />
I’m so honest that my<br />
father lent me $15,000<br />
for my education, and I<br />
paid back every penny<br />
the minute I tried my<br />
very first case.”<br />
“Impressive. And what<br />
sort of case was that?”<br />
asked the investment<br />
counselor.<br />
The lawyer squirmed<br />
in his seat and admitted,<br />
“He sued me for<br />
the money.”<br />
I think I seized the wrong day.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 23
Out ‘n About at<br />
Gritty’s<br />
for St. Patrick’s Day<br />
It’s like kids can just smell us relaxing.<br />
Kevin Morissette<br />
& Denise Pearson<br />
Has<br />
anyone seen<br />
my wife?<br />
When life gives you lemons, give them back and tell them you want coffee.<br />
Out & About at Shuga Shak for Maple Syrup Sunday<br />
Jim Bennett<br />
Babe, I found<br />
a leprechaun!<br />
Pat Penley &<br />
Debbie Bennett<br />
Landon, Charles, Kelsey, and Ki Earle<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
24 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
I’ve never been a millionaire but I know I’d be good at it.
When I say “the other day” I could be referring to yesterday or 15 years ago.<br />
Need Extra Cash?<br />
We Buy:<br />
Copper<br />
Brass<br />
#1 Steel<br />
Aluminum<br />
E-waste<br />
Lead Batteries<br />
Stainless Steel<br />
BATTERY & CORE<br />
MAINE’S MOST TRUSTED RECYCLER<br />
maine-recycling.com<br />
15 Pierce St. Auburn<br />
Open Mon. - Fri. 8a - 4p<br />
(207)795-8887<br />
Out ‘n About at<br />
Nutty Netties<br />
for the Easter bunny<br />
Kegan LeBourdais<br />
& Marshmallow<br />
Tasha Brown,<br />
Tyler Lamothe, &<br />
Brandon Lamothe<br />
Healthy<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
Check out our in-store Weekly Ad for our <strong>2023</strong> specials!<br />
Roy’s<br />
SATURDAY<br />
Beans, bread/rolls &<br />
cole slaw<br />
$11.99<br />
WEDNESDAY<br />
Ham, Veggie, Salami,<br />
or Pepperoni Italians<br />
$2.99<br />
FOODLAND<br />
PIZZA PACKS<br />
Pizza<br />
Packs<br />
$12.99<br />
Beanie<br />
Babies<br />
on Sale<br />
Here!<br />
Best Chicken &<br />
Ham Salad<br />
IN THE WORLD!<br />
Try our hamburger,<br />
it’s the best!<br />
70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471<br />
www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com<br />
Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm • Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed<br />
A husband took his<br />
young daughter to<br />
the grocery store with<br />
him. In addition to the<br />
healthful items on the<br />
carefully prepared<br />
shopping list, they<br />
returned with a box of<br />
sugar-laden cookies.<br />
The man noticed the<br />
glare of his wife and<br />
said, “This box of<br />
cookies has one-third<br />
fewer calories than<br />
usual.”<br />
“Why is that?” the<br />
mother asked.<br />
“We ate a third of the<br />
cookies on the way<br />
home,” he replied.<br />
Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 25
Out ‘n About at<br />
The Cage<br />
for their Grand Re-Opening<br />
The<br />
Cage... where<br />
everybody knows<br />
your name.<br />
Rhonda & Denis<br />
Webber<br />
Bringing the Ocean to your Table<br />
Party<br />
Platters<br />
Available<br />
(orders only)<br />
Take out • Dine in<br />
Homemade Goods<br />
Gift Certificates Available<br />
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?<br />
The freshest seafood around!<br />
Gray, ME<br />
Hours: Mon. 11a-5p • Tues.-Thurs. 10a-6p • Fri.-Sat. 10a-7p • Sun. 10a-5p<br />
WE HAVE<br />
LIVE<br />
LOBSTERS!<br />
Let us do the cooking!<br />
No extra charge!<br />
207-657-3474<br />
59c Portland Road, Gray<br />
Out & About at Gritty’s for St. Patrick’s Day Celebration<br />
Tim & Melissa<br />
Field<br />
All smiles,<br />
all night!<br />
Mary Lou Bessey, Linda & Clayton Clark<br />
WASHRITE LAUNDROMAT<br />
laundry done right<br />
Wash & Dry Service Available<br />
Tim Kivus &<br />
Kathy Kenney<br />
ATM<br />
Change Machine<br />
Soap Dispenser<br />
Waiting Area with TV<br />
Folding Stations<br />
77 Sabattus St. Lewiston<br />
All New<br />
Machines<br />
*CLEAN*<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
26 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?
How long a minute feels depends upon if the bathroom is occupied or not.<br />
The Village Inn<br />
Serving our customers for over 40 years<br />
JOIN OUR FAMILY!<br />
Hiring all positions!<br />
207.782.7796<br />
AMAZING FOODS FROM THE SEA & LAND!<br />
Come in and warm up with a hot meal or chowder!<br />
Out ‘n About at<br />
The Cage<br />
for their Grand Re-Opening<br />
Best<br />
drinks in<br />
town!<br />
OPEN WEDNESDAY - SUNDAY<br />
HAPPY HOUR<br />
4-6PM DAILY<br />
SUNDAYS<br />
Bloody Marys<br />
165 High Street, Auburn | villageinnmaine.com<br />
TALLEDEGA RACE<br />
April 23rd<br />
Prime Rib<br />
1-2:30pm<br />
$<br />
12/plate<br />
race starts<br />
at 3pm<br />
Tina & Joey<br />
Legee<br />
Bloody<br />
Mary Sundays?<br />
Yes, please<br />
Make our favorite place, your favorite place!<br />
97-99 Ash St., Lewiston | 207.783.0668 | Open 7 days 10a - close<br />
Treven Stoops &<br />
Katie Treacy<br />
RoySnow.com<br />
207.782.3734<br />
Serving Maine since 1947<br />
11 Library Ave.<br />
Auburn<br />
Kelly Barrett<br />
Organized people are simply too lazy to search for stuff.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 27
Out ‘n About at<br />
The Cage<br />
for their Grand Re-Opening<br />
If you think dogs can’t count, put three biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two.<br />
Frank Dunn &<br />
Tommy Birkbeck<br />
Jessica Nolin &<br />
Hole Beby<br />
In 8 years this event has granted 81 wishes to<br />
Maine kids, with help from business and<br />
community support.<br />
Please consider becoming a sponsor of the 9th,<br />
and FINAL Summer Block Party.<br />
Josh Dube &<br />
Jamie Hendricks<br />
Visit www.LASummerBlockParty.com or call 207-783-7039<br />
Kathy Kenney &<br />
Maria LaBonte<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
28 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
Flies only live for 24 hours. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those live forever!
My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it was Sunday.<br />
MYOXFORDAUTOSALES.COM<br />
SALES • SERVICE • DETAILING<br />
OWNERS<br />
Arthur Reynolds<br />
Sandy Reynolds<br />
207-539-1055<br />
Derek Roy<br />
207-740-4776<br />
497 Main St. Oxford<br />
SERVICE TECHS<br />
Mike Wood<br />
Phil Reiman<br />
MAINE GOURMET CHOCOLATES<br />
Poisson & Sons Auto Care<br />
260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144<br />
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<strong>APRIL</strong> CAR CARE TIPS<br />
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April <strong>2023</strong><br />
Stickers are due!<br />
Easter Surprises & Decor<br />
Barks, Brittles, Truffles,<br />
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168 Main St. Auburn<br />
207.783.8472<br />
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mspaulding@androscoggin.tax<br />
Steve Simard<br />
Marketing Specialist<br />
207.754.1815<br />
steve@<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com<br />
9 Grove Street,<br />
Auburn, ME 04210<br />
Office:<br />
207-783-7039<br />
207-783-0000783-0000<br />
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The many faces of <strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s office dog, Lydia.<br />
I don’t trust stairs, they’re always up to something.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 29
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<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
30 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
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BUSINESS<br />
SP TLIGHT<br />
207.577.6484<br />
528 Lincoln Street<br />
Lewiston<br />
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(207) 777-0050<br />
791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn<br />
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Professional<br />
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Put Your Business<br />
in the Spotlight<br />
Contact<br />
Amy St. Hilaire<br />
207-402-1070<br />
amy@uncleandys.com<br />
KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR<br />
SUMMER BLOCK PARTY<br />
SQUARES COMING<br />
NEXT MONTH!<br />
Pooper Scooping Services<br />
Snow is melting...<br />
All you see is poo?<br />
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207-713-1550<br />
The next time I lose my mind, I’m not even going to look for it.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 31
Call<br />
for your<br />
FREE QUOTE<br />
Today!<br />
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Your Vision.<br />
Our Expertise.<br />
Kitchens, Baths,<br />
Decks, & More!<br />
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RON’S<br />
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YOUR FULL SERVICE<br />
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515 Gardiner Rd. Wales<br />
Lincoln Street<br />
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Family owned & operated since 1967<br />
207-784-9356<br />
1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston<br />
207-212-7791<br />
www.vghomeimprovements.com<br />
Specializing in Domestic &<br />
Truck, Automatic & Manual<br />
Transmissions, Transfer<br />
Cases, & Differentials<br />
Ron<br />
Charpentier, Jr.,<br />
Owner<br />
We make you LOOK GREAT!<br />
FULL COLOR BOOKLETS & MORE!<br />
Booklets • Posters • Carbonless forms<br />
Envelopes • Business Cards & More!<br />
Call today for a free quote!<br />
60 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-782-0525 • evergreencustomprinting.com<br />
Do you have radiator or engine problems?<br />
Our experienced professional technicians can help!<br />
Concerned about costly repairs?<br />
Our quality repairs are done at affordable prices!<br />
Monday-Friday: 8a-5p<br />
OFFERING<br />
Residential<br />
Commercial<br />
Clean Outs<br />
Roll Offs<br />
229 Center Street, Auburn<br />
(207) 402-8654 • www.lamassagemaine.com<br />
Monday-Friday 11a-7p • Saturday 12p-5p<br />
Add 4 Months to Your Watersports<br />
Season with a Wetsuit<br />
• Swimming<br />
• Snorkeling<br />
• Scuba<br />
• Water-ski<br />
We can help you<br />
stay warmer longer!<br />
Coach Terry’s<br />
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The friendly redemption center<br />
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Clean up time!<br />
Bring your bottles & cans to us!<br />
CHILDRENS<br />
TOO!<br />
805 Main Street<br />
Lewiston<br />
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The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service!<br />
SERVING<br />
Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland<br />
Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples<br />
9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
32 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
Knowledge is like underwear. It’s useful to have, but unnecessary to show it off.
CALL THE PROS<br />
Welcoming new students for<br />
in person lessons!<br />
LA’S # 1 STOP FOR ALL<br />
YOUR MUSIC NEEDS!<br />
LESSONS • REPAIRS<br />
SALES • RENTALS<br />
Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services<br />
Mike Magretto<br />
Veteran Owned & Operated<br />
EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 207-530-8890<br />
Main Street Music Lessons<br />
33 Dunn Street, Auburn<br />
www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com<br />
207-376-3376<br />
REALTY<br />
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Call/Text 207-740-0596 ME License # BR924660<br />
sam.prindle@exprealty.com | www.TallHouseGuy.com<br />
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christine.kennedy@exprealty.com | christinekennedy.exprealty.com<br />
GUNS • AMMO<br />
SUPPLIES<br />
Fine Line<br />
Gun Shop<br />
(207) 998-2374<br />
590 Plains Rd., Poland<br />
CHECK OUT<br />
Facebook page<br />
for rotating items<br />
and inventory<br />
Serving Greater Central Maine<br />
Ensuring<br />
Your Home<br />
is a Safe Place<br />
RICK BROWNING<br />
Certified Inspector<br />
207-619-0868<br />
upfronthi@gmail.com<br />
• Custom ATM Surrounds<br />
• Kiosk Maintenance<br />
• ATM Site Refurbishing<br />
• Mobile Events & Full Service ATM Placement<br />
• Custom Branding Vinyl Wraps<br />
A.D.A. Compliant<br />
Fully Insured<br />
Daniel Bouthot • 207.576.1719 • dbouthot@versatrades.com<br />
Ouellette’s Cleanup<br />
Handyman Services<br />
Farralee Ouellette, proprietor<br />
Providing janitorial<br />
& lawn care services<br />
Residential & Commercial<br />
PO Box 72<br />
Paris, Maine 04271<br />
207-376-5151<br />
A woman-owned<br />
business with<br />
more than 6 years<br />
experience!<br />
Being a functional adult everyday seems a bit excessive.<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
<strong>Uncle</strong>Andys.com 33
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.<br />
CAMPING SEASON IS A FEW MONTHS AWAY!<br />
Will you be ready?<br />
CALL OF THE WILD RV CENTER<br />
848 Main Street, Oxford<br />
207-539-4410 • www.callofthewildrv.com<br />
Serving 24 flavors of<br />
Soft Serve Ice Cream<br />
Open Thurs.-Sun. 10a-5p<br />
Shuga Shak Country Store<br />
Maple Baked Beans<br />
every Saturday!<br />
Wine • Local Products<br />
Honey • Pickles • Jams<br />
Candies • Crafts...<br />
and much more!<br />
450 Pigeon Hill Road<br />
(Rte 26), Mechanic Falls<br />
207-576-7886<br />
Your trusted,<br />
nonprofit resource<br />
for assistance<br />
and information<br />
Medicare counseling • Caregiver support<br />
Educational programming • Meals on Wheels<br />
seniorsplus.org • 1-800-427-1241<br />
Scientists have discovered exactly how much sleep an average person needs. Just five more minutes.<br />
Out ‘n About at<br />
The Cage<br />
Out ‘n About at Nutty Netties for the Easter Bunny<br />
Always a fun<br />
night at<br />
The Cage!<br />
Doreen & Howie<br />
Gooldrup<br />
Issabella, Denisse, Maya, and Cole Rich with Mr. & Mrs. Easter Bunny<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
34 April <strong>2023</strong><br />
I’m not good at advice. Can I give you a sarcastic comment instead?
Tax Day is coming! Are you excited, or going to jail?<br />
RoopersBeverage.com<br />
Jason Dionne<br />
Manager at Sabattus St - Lewiston Roopers<br />
When asked to participate in this<br />
article, Sabattus St Manager Jason<br />
Dionne replied with a question, “why<br />
me?” He continues, “don’t get me<br />
wrong, I appreciate it, but honestly,<br />
we should do something with<br />
redemption and the people who<br />
have been around for so many years.<br />
Those folks are the true backbone.”<br />
President Jesse St Laurent nails it to<br />
a tee. He writes: “I have known Jay<br />
for a number of years now. He has<br />
been a great asset to Roopers as a<br />
leader and a humble, honorable friend.<br />
Jay is not afraid of the unknown, Jay<br />
is flexible and creative. He quickly<br />
adjusts to new situations and makes<br />
the best of them. Jay does a great<br />
job involving his team to work<br />
collectively and provides top-notch<br />
teamwork in our largest, busiest<br />
store. Really proud of his body of<br />
work as an employee, a friend, and,<br />
more importantly, a dedicated<br />
father!!!”<br />
After working almost 25 years in the<br />
Hannaford retail stores, Roopers has<br />
been a refreshing change for Jason.<br />
Jason explains that Roopers has made<br />
being a good Dad easier. Being so<br />
close to home and being able to pick<br />
up his daughter from daycare<br />
has been a Godsend for him and his<br />
family.<br />
Jason says the hardest thing was<br />
when Steve passed away. He says:<br />
“Many wondered how the company<br />
would continue after, but Steve built a<br />
company with many strong leaders<br />
around him. Jesse and Steph have<br />
done a fantastic job ensuring the<br />
business runs smoothly. All our retail<br />
locations have strong leadership and<br />
great associates who want nothing<br />
but to see Roopers continue to grow<br />
and succeed.”<br />
Jason concludes by saying that<br />
working in the flagship store where<br />
Roopers began has been an honor. It<br />
truly is due to dedicated, long-time<br />
hard workers such as Joe Gendron,<br />
Steve Hughes, and Julie Newton and all<br />
those who have been here since the<br />
beginning. In the future, he looks<br />
forward to being an integral part of<br />
Roopers' growth, and we are more<br />
than happy to have him! Thank you<br />
for being such a great asset to the<br />
Roopers family Jason. Cheers and<br />
beers to you!<br />
Home Support<br />
Physical, Speech, &<br />
Occupational Therapy<br />
Physical, speech, and<br />
occupational therapy services.<br />
Care & Comfort in your own home or our office.<br />
368 Minot Avenue, Suite 3, Auburn<br />
Phone: 207-333-5022 • Fax: 207-333-5089<br />
Cell: 207-513-2279 • Email: davispt2019@icloud.com<br />
Maybe psychopaths are regular people on a low-carb, sugar-free diet.
YOUR VEHICLE WILL LOVE YOU FOR IT!<br />
Heavy duty pickup ...... $159.95<br />
Full size van .......... $159.95<br />
Plus applicable taxes<br />
RUST PROTECTION Pricing Policy<br />
Any car .............. $139.95 2 door pickup . ......... $149.95<br />
Mini van ............. $149.95 X-large SUV . .......... $159.95<br />
Sm., Med., or Lg. SUV ... $149.95 3 & 4 door pickup ....... $159.95<br />
23 Lisbon St., Lisbon/Lewiston line • theshopclassicrestorations.com • 207-353-6100<br />
I need a 6 month vacation, twice a year.<br />
RMS has joined the Guild Mortgage family<br />
We are stronger together<br />
SPRING: the best time to<br />
rust-proof your vehicle<br />
It’s NEVER too late to rustproof your vehicle!<br />
36 UNCLEANDYS.COM<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
April <strong>2023</strong><br />
the ULTIMATE in RUST PROTECTION<br />
Debbie Bodwell<br />
NMLS# 280336<br />
Debbie.Bodwell@guildmortgage.net<br />
181 Center Street, Auburn, ME 04210<br />
207.754.3962<br />
I am authorized to do business in the states of Maine, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org)<br />
Guild Mortgage Company; NMLS #3274; Equal Housing Opportunity; www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org.
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