Uncle Andy's Digest - May 2023

UNCLE 

DIGEST 

ANDY’S 

MAY 

2023 

SINCE 1996 

207-782-7113 

Get Your FREE 

Quote Today! 

GET REAL. GET HYUNDAI. 

Sales • Lease • Rentals • Parts & Service 

31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com 

CHECK OUT OUR 

LARGE INVENTORY! 

Call Ryan Kennard 

207-346-0279 

Whited Equipment Co. is your New Factory Authorized Hyundai 

Construction Equipment Dealer for Central & Southern Maine. 

New & used available! 

whitedhyundai.com • (855) 882-4010 • Come see us at 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn 

Uncle Andy’s Digest 

UncleAndys.com 1

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final frontier. 

That’s why we bring health care to you. 

Skilled medical care in the comfort of your own home 

Recovery from illness or injury 

Chronic condition management 

Navigating emotional wellbeing 

Hospice care + Hospice House 

207.777.7740 | Androscoggin.org 

held at 

985 TURNER STREET, AUBURN 

• Make valuable connections 

• Promote your offerings 

• Highlight your brand 

• Get sales leads 

All at the 2023 Maine Business 

to Business Trade Show. 

ONE DAY EVENT 

Thursday, May 18 th 9a - 3p 

Registration closes May 15 th 

FREE 

to attend! 

Register to 

attend! 

Dow Media, LLC | dowmediallc.com | travis@dowmediallc.com 

I wouldn’t buy anything with Velcro. It’s a total rip-off

I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke. 

MODERN WOODMEN 

OF AMERICA 

MAY 2023 ACTIVITIES 

Tuesday, May 16 th 

Roy’s Breakfast 

7:00-10:00am 

5 Washington St. Auburn 

M: $5.00 G: $6.00 

Purchase Tickets: 5-10-2023 

(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Wednesday, May 17 th 

Dairy Joy 

3:00-7:00pm 

Lewiston or Auburn location 

M: $2.00 G: $2.50 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Thursday, May 18 th 

Val’s Drive-In 

4:00-6:30 pm 

925 Sabattus St. Lewiston 

M: $6.00 G: $7.50 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Tuesday, May 23 rd 

Luiggi’s 

4:00-7:00pm 


M: $5.00 G: $6.00 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Thursday, May 25 th 

Fielder’s Choice 

4:00-7:00 pm 

680 Minot Ave. Auburn 

M: $3.00 G: $3.50 


(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Reminder: Please do not call 

the restaurants. If you have a 

question, please call the office at 

207-782-1833 or 207-333-6052 

and speak with Jamie. Tickets 

must be purchased at the MWA 

District Office at 184 Webster 

Street Lewiston on the dates/times 

listed for each activity. Menus are 

subject to change. No substitutions 

or add-ons. 

Most importantly - Have Fun! 

How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side. 




is published by the first 

Friday of every month by 

Maine Mountain Ocean 

Group, Inc. with its world 

headquarters located at 

9 Grove Street, Auburn, 

Maine, USA. 

Published and distributed 

since 1996 throughout 

Central Maine and mailed to 

subscribers all over the Free 

World. Subscriptions are 

$49 .95 /year. 

UncleAndys.com 

Office: 207-783-7039 

UAD Super Heroes 

CAPTAIN 

SUZY-Q 

BATGIRL 

STEPHANIE 

ELASTIGIRL 

PAM 

Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, 

when I do criticize him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes. 

Smile Again 

Dentures 

Like our name implies - we’ll help you Smile Again! 

Call today for: 

• Full Dentures 

• Immediate Dentures 

• Partial Dentures 

• Rebases 

• Relines 

• Repairs 

WASP 

AMY 

HULK 

SMASH 

THOMAS 

All work done on-site. Repairs usually same day service! 

IRONSIDES 

STEVE 

While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries 

very hard to ensure the accuracy 

of the information in our clients’ 

advertisements and our publication 

in general, we are not responsible 

for vendor availability, typographical 

errors, technical inaccuracies, product 

pricing errors, or omissions. 

Mike & Joe 

Adkins 

Licensed 

Denturists 

801 Webster Street, Lewiston 

smileagaindentures@gmail.com 

SmileAgainDentures.com 

514-0660 


4 May 2023 

[paddling along the Amazon in a kayak] Jackie: “It’s so beautiful.” Joel: “Can you believe 

they named this after a website?”

HAS IT ALL 

SAVE THE DATE 

Saturday, August 12 th 

Your one-stop shop for: 

• Amazing food (eat in or take out) 

• Agency liquor store with beer cave 

• Lottery tickets 

• Redemption center 

207-345-5551 

23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com 

Catering 

Full serve catering at your 

office or company event! 

Book Your 

2023 

Business 

Events 

Now! 

207-345-9009 

DadsPlaceCatering.com 

Dad’s Redemption Center 

REDEMPTION CENTER 

6 ¢ 

on all 5¢ returns with this coupon. 

Located in the building behind Dad’s Place 

Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm 

(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays) 


(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting) 

UncleAndys.com UAD exp. 5.31.23 5

Out ‘n About at Firehouse Grill 

It’s why I’m here. 

Some things we all have in common. 

There’s nobody like me to protect the things 

we all value. 

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.® 

CALL ME TODAY. 

Bentley Labbe highly recommends 

the Arsonist Burger 

Mother’s Day 

Breakfast 

Submitted by Trevor Saunders 

Libby and Maggie 

ordered their mother to 

stay in bed one Mother’s 

Day morning. As she lay 

there looking forward 

to breakfast in bed, the 

smell of bacon floated 

up from the kitchen. 

After a good long wait 

she finally went downstairs 

to investigate. She 

found them both sitting 

at the table eating bacon 

and eggs. 

“As a surprise for Mother’s 

Day,” Libby explained, 

“we decided to 

cook our own breakfast.” 



A friend of mine has been collecting magazines for 10 years. That guy has a lot of issues.

What does a house wear? Address. 

Mom, do 

you have to work 

any longer? 

Out ‘n About at 

Lewiston Armory 

for Marine Corps. League 

Vietnam War Tribute 

Call us for a quote 

TODAY! 

HATS 

MUGS 

EMBROIDERY 

SCREENPRINTING 

* 

NOW OFFERING 

ONLINE STORES 

* 

Contractors & 

Landscapers 

THINK 

SPRING! 

Baseball • Softball 

Lacrosse • Track 

PENS 

BAGS 

Ben Tucker 

This is such 

a nice tribute! 

HAPPY HOUR 

4-6PM DAILY 

SUNDAYS 

Bloody Marys 

June 10 th 

1st Annual 

Crawfish Boil 

check our 

FB page for 

ticket info 

205 Washington St. 

South, Auburn 

207-784-4184 

coastaltshirts.com 

Uncle Andy’s Digest & 

LA Metro Magazine’s Office dog, 

Lydia & Publisher, Pam Ashby 

LIVE MUSIC with WINGIN IT 

May 13 th 

7-10pm 

Supporting 

Fontaine Family 

Real Estate’s 

Make-A-Wish 

Campaign 

Make our favorite place, your favorite place! 

97-99 Ash St., Lewiston | 207.783.0668 | Open 7 days 10a - close 

My interviewer asked me to describe myself in one word. I replied “vague” 

He asked, “can you elaborate?” I said, “yes.” 

Gold Star Mother 

Joyce Richmond 

& Cliff Plourde 

James Thibodeau 







What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time. 

Don’t let your boiler look like this 

Get your yearly boiler 

cleaning/servicing 

CLEANINGS ONLY 

220 .00* 

$ 

220 

*Plus materials if needed 

Jon Myrand 

A 

big THANK 

YOU to all our 

veterans! 

CALL TODAY! 

207-754-4556 

DID YOU KNOW? 

Getting your domestic hot water from your boilers 

coil is the MOST EXPENSIVE way to get hot water! 

Ask about alternatives. 

My mum bought me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday. 

I couldn’t find the words to thank her. 

Jerry DeWitt & 

Charlie Paul 

Take Out 

Available! 

DAILY SPECIALS 

MONDAY - CLOSED 

TUESDAY 

Fried Pickle Basket 

Thatcher’s Burger 

25oz domestic drafts 

WEDNESDAY 

3 Beef Tacos 

Thatcher’s Burrito 

Well Margaritas • Coronas 

THURSDAY 

Stuffed Peppers 

Buffalo Chicken Salad 

Microbrews 

FRIDAY 

Clam Cake Basket 

Fish & Chips 

Leo Deon, Jr. 

Department of Labor, 

Veterans Program Manager 

PHILLY WRAP W/ FRIES 

& COLESLAW 

207-782-2135 Auburn Mall 

Tues. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm 

SATURDAY 

2 Hot Dogs w/fries 

Miller Lite Bottles 

SUNDAY 

12" Cheese Pizza 

Bloody Mary’s 

Domestic Light/Lite Drafts 



I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn’t show up. That’s when I knew 

we weren’t gonna work out.

I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. 

Jokes 


Craig was asked by his 

cousin Danny to come 

with him to his hunting 

lodge with his hunting 

buddies. As it was 

raining the first day, 

and no one felt like 

spending a whole day 

out in the rain getting 

wet, they decided to 

stay inside. 

After a while Craig 

got bored and asked 

Danny if they could do 

anything. 

Danny said, “Well, we 

could tell each other 

jokes. I’ll start.” 

Danny thought for a 

moment and then said 

“27,” and all his buddies 

started to laugh. 

Confused, Craig 

asked, “Why is everyone 

laughing? You just 

said a number.” 

Danny explained that 

since they had heard 

all these stories a hundred 

times, they had 

given them numbers 

to make them easier 

to tell. 

Craig thought this was 

a bit weird. 

The “storytelling” went 

on for a while until 

finally one of guys said 

a number and the rest 

started laughing even 

more than before. 

Craig looked up and 

asked, “Why is this 

one was so funny?” 

Danny replied, “Oh, we 

haven’t heard that one 

before.” 

Lance is an uncommon name nowadays. 

But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot. 



Doctor’s Visit 

Submitted by Pam Ashby 

A man walked into a 

Doctor’s office. “What 

do you have?” the 

receptionist asked. 

“Shingles,” he replied. 

She told him to sit 

down. Soon a nurse 

called him and asked, 

“What do you have?” 

“Shingles,” he replied. 

She took his blood 

pressure, weight, and 

complete medical 

history. Then she took 

him to a room and told 

him to remove all of 

his clothes. After a few 

minutes the Doctor 

came in and asked, 

“What do you have?” 

“Shingles,” the man told 

him. 

The Doctor looked him 

up and down and said, 

“Where?” 

“Out on the truck, 

where do you want me 

to unload them?” 

Wedding 

Submitted by Steve Simard 

A little boy, at a wedding 

looks at his mom 

and says, “Mommy, 

why does the bride 

wear white?” 

His mom replies, “The 

bride is in white because 

she’s happy and 

this is the happiest day 

of her life.” 

The boy, thinks about 

this, and then says, 

“Well, then why is the 

groom wearing black?” 

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. 

Rent us! Tour us! See a concert! 

Volunteers 

Needed at 

ALL 

Events! 

207-689-2000 

Tickets: Advance – $28 each ~ Door – $33 each 

(includes fees) 

Tours 207-261-5240 • Weddings & Rentals 207-333-3251 

Join us for the 23 rd season at our 

Performing Arts and Events Center, 

46 on Cedar the Riverfront Street, Lewiston, in Lewiston. Maine 

Main More Office info coming 207-783-1585 soon. 

Box Office 207-689-2000 

Order tickets: FrancoCenter.org or call: (207) 689-2000 

www.francocenter.org 

46 Cedar Street, Lewiston, ME 04240 • FrancoCenter.org • facebook.com/FrancoCenter 

UNDERWRITER 

2021-2022 SEASON 

Take May Your this Seats … 

performance 

It’s Showtime! 

carry you to a 

new place. 

Friday, June 17 – 7:00 PM 

in Performance Hall 

1-800-966-9172 

Doors and cash bar open androscogginbank.com 

at 6:00 PM 

Show sponsor: 

La Rencontre Lunch and Entertainment 

Thursday, June 22June 23 in Heritage Hall June 29 

Doors open at 9:30 AM ~ 10:00 AM social time ~ Lunch 11:30 

11:30am 

7pm 

Sponsor: 

Entertainment after lunch by Don & Cindy Roy 

A celebration 

of St. Jean de 

Baptiste Day! 

Lunch menu: Chicken pot pie, coleslaw and whoopie pie. Coffee & tea included. Bar available for other beverages. 

Denny Breau 

La Rencontre Lunch 

Advanced tickets only. Deadline is Monday, June 20 at noon. 

$15 ~ includes meal and entertainment. Tickets will not be sold at the door. 

A conversational French club for French speakers 

will be held at 10:30am in Heritage Hall 

on alternating Thursday mornings: June 9; 

June 23 ~ join us for La Rencontre, July 7, July 21, etc. 

Starting July 14 – Thursday Night Live in Heritage Hall 

Doors 

Alternating 

10:30am 

dance and karaoke events! 

Entertainment will feature live music and DJs. 

Sponsors: FACE Foundation and 

Quebec Delegation Boston 

Check our calendar 

at francocenter.org to find out 

what’s going on at the Franco. 

Underwriter 

Cash Bar at Both Events 

The Cobblestones 

Dancing! 

Doors 6pm 

Media Sponsors 

For The 

Sponsors: Roopers and 

Ouellette & Associates, P.A. 

Crowd 

MEDIA SPONSORS 



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Business 

Trip 


Phil went on a business 

trip and went out 

for breakfast when 

the waitress came to 

his booth she asked, 

“What can I get you?” 

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy? 

COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL 

Specializing in: 

Commercial site projects 

House lots 

Septic systems 

Phil paused and said 

“I’ll tell you what, I’d 

like the special, but I 

want my toast burned 

to a crisp, my bacon 

rubbery, my coffee 

weak, and when you 

bring me the food—I 

want you to yell at me.” 

Puzzled, the waitress 

said “Is that what you 

really want, are you 

crazy?!” 

“No,” said Phil, “I’m 

homesick.” 

Important 

Submitted by Steve Simard 

A young businessman 

had just started his own 

firm. He’d rented a beautiful 

office and had it 

furnished with antiques. 

Sitting there, he saw a 

man come into the outer 

office. Wishing to appear 

busy, the businessman 

picked up the phone and 

started to pretend he 

had a big deal working. 

He threw huge figures 

around and made giant 

commitments. 

Finally, he hung up and 

asked the visitor, “Can I 

help you?” 

The man said, “Sure. 

I’ve come to install the 

phone.” 

triplecrown5k.com 

47 Broad Street, Auburn 

www.firehouseauburn.com 

207-376-4959 

Monday - Saturday 11a-9p 

the greatest 5k series in the Lewiston Auburn area 

Register today! 

JUNE 

4 

JULY 

16 

Call us today! 

207.754.2343 

hirdcontracting@gmail.com 

MAY Drink Special 

Tipsy Texan cocktail 

You’ll Love 

our Daily 

Specials! 

$ 

8 

Tequila 

Ginger Ale 

Peach Liquor 

Cranberry Juice 

BURGER MONDAY Get $2 off your burgers! (dine-in only) • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey 

AUGUST 

27 

DONATE • VOLUNTEER • START A TEAM 



The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand on its own? It was two tired. 

Come see Kathy & Joe! 

Scan 

here to 

see our 

menu! 





Order Online! Visit our website: stationgrillrestaurant.com 

MOTHER’S DAY 

BREAKFAST BUFFET 

$ 

14.95 all you can eat 

Carl Sheline 

Lewiston Mayor 

Tuesday - Saturday: 7am-2pm • Sunday: 7am-3pm 

dinner: Thurs., Fri., & Sat. 4-8pm 

103 Lincoln Street, Lewiston 

207-333-5062 

Now Hiring Cooks at both locations! 

Station Grill Restaurant & Schmengees Bar & Grill 

Back by popular 

demand! 

DINNER HOURS 

Thursday through Saturday 4-8pm 

• Rib Eye 

• Teriyaki glazed Salmon 

• Seafood Casserole 

• New York Strip 

Full Bar • Cocktails • Beer • Wine 

Master of 

Ceremonies, 

Jerry DeWitt & 

Charlie Paul 

Toby Blais 

Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems. 







How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together. 

• Restaurant 

• Mini Golf Course 

• Driving Range 

• Ice Cream Stand 

Bert St. Pierre 

What 

a nice ceremony 

for the 

Veterans! 

Treat MOM to a family FUN day 

this Mother’s Day! 

SPRING HOURS 

Miniature Golf & 

Driving Range 

Open Daily 10am-8pm 

(weather permitting) 

Restaurant & Ice Cream Stand 

Open Daily 11am-8pm 

470 Lake Shore Drive Auburn • tabersgolf.com 

Maurice Gosselin 

After dinner my wife asked me if I could clear the table. 

I needed a running start, but I made it. 

We’ve got you covered! 

Think Summer! 

Willie Danforth 

THE CHAMPOUX GROUP 

CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS 

I N S U R A N C E 

...Your Security is Our Concern! 

Locally Owned & Operated Since 1999 

207-783-2246 • 150 East Ave. Lewiston • MaineInsuranceonline.com 



I was going to tell you a joke about construction. But I’m still working on it.

1052 Minot Avenue Auburn 

207-783-6885 

MacsGrill.com 

We’re #1 for a reason! 

Where the 

locals eat! 

Now hiring 

line cooks 

Competitive Pay! 

Shown here: 

Mini Mac (not so mini) 

Our Signature 10 oz. filet style sirloin, 

served with your choice of two sides. 

MAINE’S #11 STEAKHOUSE 

Don’t forget Mom 

on Mother’s Day 

May 14 th 

Let Mac’s Cater 

Your Next EvenT! 

Weddings, Banquets, Birthdays, 

Corporate Parties, and more! 

No event too BIG or SMALL... 

WE CATER IT ALL! 

207-783-6885 • MacsGrill.comUncle Andy’s Digest 



Mac’s Grill 

Mac’s Grill, 

where the staff 

become from 

friends! 

Why don’t escaped convicts make good writers? 

Because they never finish their sentences. 

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it! 

Happy 

Mother’s Day! 

Breakfast all day as well 

as delicious lunch items! 

Tammy Johnson 

& Jim Whitmore 

to our favorite mom 

& all the moms 

out there! 

87 Mill Street, New Auburn 

207-753-0171 

rollysnewauburn.com 

Monday-Saturday: 6a-2p • Closed Sunday 

Why isn’t blood a good writer? Because of all the Type-Os. 

Cliff Hammond, 

Stacy Whetzel, & 

Linda Mowry 

Rick Miles 



GREENHOUSE & GARDEN CENTER 

Open: Saturday-Wednesday 8a-4p, Thursday-Friday 8a-6p 

896 Lawrence Rd. No. Pownal • 207-688-4462 

www.GardenSpotFarm.com 

10 

greenhouses 

filled with annuals, 

perennials herb & 

vegetable plants, & 

hanging baskets 

Check out our store filled with seeds, seed potato, 

gardening tools, pots,and so much more! 

Large selection of bagged product including 

mulches, soils, potting soils, fertilizers 

(Coast of Maine included) 

Join us for 

Mother’s Day Weekend 

May 13th & 14th 

For Giveaways 

& Prizes! 

I got a book titled, ‘A Guide to Surgical Procedures’. 

I opened it up and the appendix was missing. 

Dark bark 

Mulch 

Loam 

Organic compost 

50/50 Compost/Loam 

Call ahead for bulk 

deliveries 

Shrubs, trees, 

fruit trees, & 

plants 

Gift Cards Available! 

A 

A

Karen’s 

RIDE 

Saturday, June 3rd 2023 

Register at L-A Harley Davidson 

9:30 - 11:30am 

Kickstands up at noon 

After party @ 

American Legion, 

post 153 Auburn 

$ 

20 

20 

to Ride 

Buffet provided by American Legion Post 153 

3:30 - 5:30 | suggested donation $ 10 

Music Compliments of 

Scan to donate 

50/50 

6-9pm 

Ad donated by Main Street Music lessons Arthur Melendy & Steve Grenier in loving memory Uncle of Karen Andy’s Cook. Digest 

UncleAndys.com 17 

All proceeds will go to the Dempsey Center for the completion of “Karen’s Room”

The Difference 


In light of the rising 

frequency of human/ 

grizzly bear conflicts, 

the Montana 

Department of Fish 

and Game is advising 

hikers, hunters, and 

fishermen to take extra 

precautions and keep 

alert for bears while in 

the field. 

“We advise that outdoors 

men wear noisy 

little bells on their 

clothing so as not to 

startle bears that aren’t 

expecting them. We 

also advise outdoors 

men to carry pepper 

spray with them in 

case of an encounter 

with a bear. It is also 

a good idea to watch 

out for fresh signs of 

bear activity. Outdoors 

men should recognize 

the difference between 

black bear and grizzly 

bear poop. Black bear 

poop is smaller and 

contains lots of berries 

and squirrel fur. Grizzly 

bear poop has little 

bells in it and smells 

like pepper.” 

Ice Cream 


A little old man shuffled 

slowly into an ice 

cream parlor and pulled 

himself slowly, painfully, 

up onto a stool. After 

catching his breath, he 

ordered a banana split. 

The waitress asked 

kindly, “Crushed nuts?” 

“No,” he replied, 

“Arthritis.” 

What happens when a microscope bangs into a telescope? A kaleidoscope. 

• Whoopie Pies 

• Chocolates-custom orders & in-stock 

• Fresh home-style breakfast & lunch 

• Gluten free options 

• Personalized experience 

We ship chocolates 

anywhere in the country 

The Right 

Coverage at the 

Right Price. 

Copyright ©2022 NFP. All Rights Reserved. 

GGGGG 

LIVE MUSIC 

is back on 

Wednesdays! 

GGGGG 

MAKE 

RESERVATIONS 

TODAY! 

Happy Mother’s Day 

Make-A-Wish® basket raffle. 

$2 per ticket, or 3 for $5 

Friday Special: 

French toast breakfast 

buy one, get one 50% off 

207-705-1866 

Hours: Monday-Saturday 9am-7pm 

550 Center Street, Auburn Mall • nuttynettieschocolate@gmail.com 

Discover insurance solutions from local industry experts 

dedicated to protecting your assets. From risk consulting 

to claims support, we’ve got you covered. 

John Blanchette, Sales Advisor | 207.784.9358 

john.blanchette@nfp.com 

For your business. 

For your people. 

For your life. 

NFP.com 

Visit our new NFP office: 

681 Sabattus St | Lewiston, ME 04240 

LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience! 

A PLACE 

THE WHOLE 

FAMILY WILL 

LOVE! 

40 East Avenue, Lewiston | www.sea40me.com | 207-795-6888 



What do you call a Sasquatch with noodles for hair? Spag-Yeti.

When you think about it, is egg salad really chicken salad? 

We can provide a warm and 

comfortable home for your loved one. 


Mac’s Grill 

Mac’s 

is great to come 

relax after a good 

bird catching. 

Matt Grenier 

I 

never regret 

stopping in at 

Mac’s Grill. 

The Chapman House has private rooms available for residents, 

aged 65 and older, who need assistance with bathing, 

medications, and meals. 

Never say 

never... come 

here and give me a 

smooch! 

41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961 

Bonnie Iwans 

Danny Banker & 

Timmy Fortin 

Why is there a light in the fridge and not one in the freezer? 




Mac’s Grill 

What 

are the chances 

I’m going to regret 

this photo? 

Eric Perron 

Eric, 

I’d say the 

chances are 

good. 

Shawn Horton 

I changed my password to “incorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is 

the computer will say, “Your password is incorrect”. 

We Throw the Best Parties! 

FREE event space! Never a room charge! 

Dining and catering menus available with no deposit needed! 

68 Main Street, Auburn 

(207) 376-2739 

Follow us on Facebook 

for our weekly events! 

Separate checks? No problem! 

LET US TAKE CARE OF YOU! 

OXFORD HILLS FAVORITE 

PIZZA & SANDWICH SHOP! 

Deli Sandwiches • Fresh Dough Pizzas 

Breakfast Sandwiches and More! 

Come have fun 

with us! 

monday 

Cribbage 

drop-in • 5:30 sign-up 

tuesday 

Cornhole 

dining room • 8pm 

wednesday 

Karaoke & 

Water Pong 

8pm 

FULL SERVICE & 

REPAIR SHOP 

Heavy Duty Truck & 

Equipment Repairs 

State Inspection Station 

Commercial & Motor Vehicle Stickers 

Appointment Only 

207.784.8293 

250 Broad Street, Auburn 

May Special 

2 Hot Dogs & Fries 

ONLY $ 6 .99 plus tax 

Voted one of Maine’s Best Pizza Places! 

2016 WMTW Facebook Fan poll 

James Ackerman 



POLLY’S VARIETY 

115 King Street, Oxford 

207-539-8254 • www.pollysvariety.com 

Monday - Tuesday: 5:30am - 7:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 5:30am - 8:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 7:00pm 

“When I told my mom I wanted to grow up and become a comedian, 

she said you can’t do both” – Jimmy Carr 

Expires 5/31/23

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 

Keep your floors looking their best! 

ServiceMaster is LA’s experts 

for carpet cleaning, stripping, 

waxing & cleaning for tile and grout. 

Call for a free estimate! 

Liar, Liar 


Little Johnny is constantly 

late for school 

and what’s worse is 

that he always has to 

tell a big lie explaining 

why. 

The teacher tells the 

headmaster that she is 

fed up with his exaggerations. 

The headmaster tells 

her to send Johnny 

to him the next time 

he turns up late. He’ll 

tell Johnny a lie so big 

that he will never tell 

another one. Ever! 

29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn 

(800) 244-7630 

(207) 539-4452 

www.smfireandwater.com or www.smcarpetcleaning.com 

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland? 

THE AMERICAN LEGION 

FAMILY 

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays 

and get a surprise! 

“SEE YOU AT THE POST!” 

Members & Guests Welcome! 

AMERICAN LEGION ACT 

Veterans who were honorably discharged 

but whose service did not fall into previously 

defined war eras may now join 

the American Legion immediately. The 

eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941, 

until a time when the U.S. is no longer at 

war, as determined by Congress. 

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on 

Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!” 

For Veteran or Community services, call 

207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229 

Hall Rentals Available 

Call for more 

information 

207-782-1118 

71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118 

HOURS: Mon: 12-8p • Tue-Wed: 12-6 • Thurs: 12-9p 

Fri & Sat: 12-11p • Sunday: 11a-6p 

MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS, FRIDAYS 7-11pm in MAY 

Jerry Joe - May 5th & 19th • 4:30 - 6:30pm 

Congratulations & Welcome 

New Installed Commander MIKE TARDIF of Post 153 

MONTHLY MEETING WEDNESDAY, MAY 17 TH 

6:30 EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 7:00PM GENERAL MEMBERSHIP 

Legion Members attending have a chance to win $100, $50, or $25 

SUNDAY, 

MAY 14TH 

MONDAY, 29TH 

SATURDAY, JUNE 3 RD 

Live Music 6-9PM with Fire in the Hole • Karen’s Ride Benefit 

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and 

never stops until you stand up to speak in public. 

The next day Johnny 

shows up two hours 

late. 

Johnny says, “I was 

awake two hours early 

today so I had time to 

fish in the pond on my 

way to school. I caught 

a seventeen pound 

trout and had to take it 

home. If I didn’t clean it 

and freeze it, my mum 

would’ve been angry. 

That’s why I’m so late.” 

The teacher promptly 

takes him to the 

headmaster’s office 

and explains the story 

to him. 

The headmaster tells 

Little Johnny about his 

own trip to school that 

day. 

“I was walking to 

school through the 

park on the trail today 

when I heard something 

behind me. 

I turned around and 

continued on page 22 



continued from page 23 

was shocked to see 

a giant grizzly bear 

behind me. He was 

twenty-four feet tall 

and had six-inch fangs. 

He was going to eat 

me, Johnny! Just then 

a little dog ran out from 

the bushes, jumped up 

and attacked the bear. 

The little dog killed the 

bear and then ate the 

whole bear right there 

in front of me. What 

do you think of that, 

Johnny?” 

Little Johnny replies, 

“Oh yeah, that’s my 

dog Sparky. That’s his 

third bear this week.” 

24 Hour Service 

Submitted by Thomas Hill 

Needing some clothes 

cleaned in a hurry, Jon 

searched the small 

Georgia town where 

he was visiting until he 

found a sign that read: 

“Cleaning and Pressing, 

24-Hour Service.” 

After explaining his 

needs, he said, “I’ll 

be back for my suit 

tomorrow.” 

“Won’t be ready till 

Saturday,” replied the 

proprietor. 

“But I thought you had 

24-hour service,” the 

customer protested. 

“We do,” the proprietor 

replied. “But we only 

work 8 hours a day. 

Today’s Thursday - 8 

hours today, 8 hours 

Friday, and 8 on Saturday. 

That’s 24-hour 

service.” 

Party 

Platters 

Available 

(orders only) 

Take out • Dine in 

Homemade Goods 

Gift Certificates Available 

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato. 

Bringing the Ocean to your Table 

The freshest seafood around! 

Gray, ME 

Hours: Mon. 11a-5p • Tues.-Thurs. 10a-6p • Fri.-Sat. 10a-7p • Sun. 10a-5p 

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WASHRITE LAUNDROMAT 

laundry done right 

Wash & Dry Service Available 

ATM 

Change Machine 

Soap Dispenser 

Waiting Area with TV 

Folding Stations 


All New 

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WE HAVE 

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WE HAVE 15+ DELICIOUS 

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Visit our Facebook page for events & beer menu! 

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At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?

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Is it me, or does 

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Now offering 

medical benefits! 

Fully Insured 

Air Conditioning & Heating 

Proudly serving Auburn, Lewiston, 

and the surrounding communities! 

Jerrod Warren & 

Billy Longley 

For Mother’s Day, I got my mom a case of Coors Light. After all, I’m the reason she drinks. 

JOIN A TEAM THAT VALUES ITS MEMBERS! 

Scan here to 

Apply Today! 

Justin Hayden 

www.debloiselectric.com 

Immediate openings for 

experienced licensed electricians 

Mackenzie 

Ouellette 

A computer is so smart because it listens to its motherboard. 





Smile! It’s the 


paparazzi! 

Paul Landry & 

Mike Kelly 

Matt Drewel & 

Ryan Brann 

My 

girlfriend 

serves the best 

beer! Just ask me, 

I’ll tell you. 

Richard Madigan 

What did the baby Egyptian say when he got lost? I want my mummy. 

Maine Chapter of the International 

Association of Arson Investigators (IAAI) 

14th Annual 

PIERRE “PETE” J. SIMARD 

BENEFIT GOLF TOURNAMENT 

sponsored by: 

JOIN US 

Thursday, June 15th 

8:30am tee time shotgun start 

Poland Spring Country Club • Rte. 26 Poland Spring 

PROCEEDS BENEFIT: 

• Maine Chapter of the International 

Association of Arson Investigators 

• Annual Joseph C. Menezes Scholarship Program 

• Assisting individuals continuing education in Fire Service 

Paramedic/EMT Service • Law Enforcement 

Gray, ME 

FMI Contact: 

Steve Simard: 

207-754-1815 

ssimard77659@roadrunner.com 

or Gary Simard: 

g157simard@roadrunner.com 

Sponsorships 

Available 

FEE 

$ 

100/PP 

$ 

400.00/TEAM OF 4 

Includes 18 holes w/ cart 

• Coffee & snack at 

registration 

• Beverage cart 

available on course 

• 50/50 Raffle, 

Mulligans & Contests 

• Golden Tee (1 hole 

only) 

• Awards & Prizes 

presented at golf 

completion 



I heard Einstein got along well with his parents ... relatively speaking.

Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached? 

Student: When my mother sees my report card! 

BATTERY & CORE 

MAINE’S MOST 

TRUSTED RECYCLER 

Aluminum Rims 

are averaging 

$ 

16- $ 23/ea.* 

* depending on weight 

15 Pierce St. Auburn 

Open Mon. - Fri. 8a - 4p 

maine-recycling.com (207)795-8887 

GreatFallsComedyClub.com 

Check out our in-store Weekly Ad for our 2023 specials! 

Roy’s 

FOODLAND 

Local 

stand-up favs 

Professional 

touring comics 

Wide selection 

of drink options 

and plenty of 

parking! 

GreatFallsComedyClub@gmail.com 

207-200-5366 

Make 

Laughter 

a Priority 

located at 

Craft Brew 

Underground 

Auburn 

Best Chicken & 

Ham Salad 

IN THE WORLD! 

Try our hamburger, 

it’s the best! 

Etiquette 


After a very busy 

day, Jennifer settled 

down in her seat and 

closed her eyes as the 

train departed. As the 

train rolled out of the 

station, the guy sitting 

next to her pulled out 

his cell phone and 

started talking in a loud 

voice. 

“Hi sweetheart, I’m on 

the train; yes, I know 

it’s 6:30 and not 4:30 

but I had a long meeting. 

No, honey, not 

with the floozie from 

the accountants office, 

it was with the boss. 

No sweetheart, you’re 

the only one in my 

life—yes, I’m sure....” 

Fifteen minutes later, 

he was still talking 

loudly, when the young 

woman sitting next to 

him, who was obviously 

annoyed by his 

continuous diatribe, 

and stated quite loudly, 

“Hey, baby, get off your 

phone and come back 

to bed!” 

Tried & Trusted 


A wealthy investor 

walked into a bank 

and said to the bank 

manager, “I would 

like to speak with Mr. 

Reginald Jones, who 

I understand is a tried 

and trusted employee 

of yours.” 

SATURDAY 

Beans, bread/rolls & 

cole slaw 

$11.99 

WEDNESDAY 

Ham, Veggie, Salami, 

or Pepperoni Italians 

$2.99 

PIZZA PACKS 

Pizza 

Packs 

$12.99 

Beanie Babies 

on Sale Here! 

70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471 

www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com 

Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm • Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed 

The banker said, “Yes 

he certainly was trusted. 

And he will be tried 

as soon as we catch 

him.” 

My mom likes to play this game called “Yell from four rooms away” 

and get upset when I can’t hear her. 



What If? 


When the family was 

moving cross-country 

the Mom and Dad 

each needed to drive 

one of their two cars. 

Their eight-year old 

son worriedly asked, 

“What if we get 

separated?” 

“We’ll drive slowly so 

that one car can follow 

the other,” the Dad 

reassured him. 

“Yes, but what if we 

DO get separated?” 

the son persisted. 

“Well, then I guess 

we’ll never see each 

other again,” the Dad 

answered back 

jokingly. 

“Okay,” the boy said. 

“I’m riding with Mom.” 

Scavenger 

Hunt 


A woman answered her 

front door and saw a 

little boy holding a list. 

“Ma’am,” he explained, 

“I’m on a scavenger 

hunt, and I still need 

three grains of wheat, 

a pork-chop bone and 

a piece of used carbon 

paper so I can earn a 

dollar.” 

“Wow,” the woman 

replied. “Who sent you 

on such a challenging 

hunt?” 

“My babysitters 

boyfriend.” 



“If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?” 

We have everything you need for 

yard clean-up & maintenance! 

Get it done right with our rentals! 

186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus, ME • (207) 375-6253 

2 Miles Off I-95 Exit 86 Family Owned & Operated 

shop local 

scan me 

SUPPORTING 

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give us a 

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WE APPRECIATE YOUR 

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This message is brought to you by all of us at Uncle Andy’s Digest, and its advertisers. 

Let’s support local businesses and frequent them at every opportunity. 

Daughter: Mum, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the world? 

Mum: I don’t know dear, you’d have to ask Grandma.

Son: “Mum, stop making jokes you’re not funny.” Mum: “I made you.” 

The Village Inn 

Serving our customers for over 40 years 

165 High Street, Auburn | villageinnmaine.com 

Make your 

reservations for 

Mother’s Day 

before they fill up! 

JOIN OUR FAMILY! 

Hiring all positions! 

207.782.7796 

OPEN Wed.-Sun. 

Eligible for Medicare? 

CALL US TODAY 

to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs. 



Shelby Nadeau 

Let me pour 

you a drink! 

30+ 

Years of 

Experience! 

Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston 

Trisha Dunn 

RoySnow.com 

207.782.3734 

Serving Maine since 1947 

11 Library Ave. 

Auburn 

Matty Leach 

How does NASA organize a company party? They planet. 



BRING Home Cooking HOME 

Offering homemade meals, 

snacks, and treats to eat-in 

or take home. 

~ fresh or frozen ~ 

~ single or family-size ~ 

meals • soups • salads • desserts 

7 main st., gray | 657.1092 | twomumskitchen.com 

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology – don’t buy it! 

Poisson & Sons Auto Care 

260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144 

FULL SERVICE GAS STATION 

* Get ready for summer * 

Change Oil & Filter, Check Fluid Levels & Tire Pressure, 

Evaluate Alignment, Test Battery, 

Inspect your Brakes & 

Wiper blades 

May 2023 

Stickers are due! 

FRESH MENU. 

FRESH TASTE. 

Try our salads... 

you know you want to! 

207-783-0000783-0000 

corporateintelligenceinc.comtelligenceinc.com 

85 Center Street, 

Auburn 

207-784-8221 

Open 11-9p Daily 

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato. 

A Living 

Will 


Jeremy and his wife 

Alison were sitting in 

the living room discussing 

a “Living Will.” 

“Just so you know,” 

said Jeremy, “I never 

want to live in a vegetative 

state, dependent 

on some machine and 

fluids from a bottle. 

If that ever happens, 

I’m okay with you just 

pulling the plug.” 

Alison got up, unplugged 

the TV and 

threw out all the beer. 

WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER 

NEW MEMBERS! 

Journey Magazine 

www.journey-magazine.com 

Androscoggin Historical Society 

www.androhistory.org 

Fidium Fiber Internet 

www.fidiumfiber.com 

Dirigo Risk Management Solutions 

www.dirigorms.com 

415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM 



Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.

As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field. But hay, it’s in my jeans. 

G 

PAINTING & DRYWALL 

COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL 

Michael Giambra 

G 

& 

207-754-9798 

giambra34@gmail.com 

MAINE GOURMET CHOCOLATES 

Welcome Auburn Lobster Festival - May 6 th 

Visit Us for All Your Sweets! 

Barks, Brittles, Truffles, 

Nonpareils, Needhams, 

& Retro Candy 

168 Main St. Auburn 

207.783.8472 

mainegourmetchocolates.com 

MYOXFORDAUTOSALES.COM 

497 Main St. Oxford 

Accounting 

& Tax 

Service You 

Can Trust! 

MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A. 

Certified Public Accountant 

Tax Planning & Preparation 

for Individuals and Business 

207.782.1040 • PO Box 895, Auburn, ME 04212 

mspaulding@androscoggin.tax 

SALES • SERVICE • DETAILING 

OWNERS 

Arthur Reynolds 

Sandy Reynolds 

207-539-1055 

Derek Roy 

207-740-4776 

SERVICE TECHS 

Mike Wood 

Phil Reiman 

It wasn’t much fun last year having a broken neck. 

But at least now I can look back and laugh. 



Never a dull 

mooment with 

these two! 

START YOUR NEXT CHAPTER 

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I cannot believe I just got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take one day off. 



I was a bookkeeper for 10 years. The local library wasn’t too happy about it. 

Step 

/2023 

/2023 

HEALTH & FITNESS 

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Android tablet free w/one-time $20 copay. Free shipping. Call 

Maxsip Telecom! 1-833-758-3892 

Inflation is at 40 year highs. Interest rates are way up. Credit 

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DIRECTV Stream - Carries the most local MLB Games! Choice 

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contract or hidden fees! Some restrictions apply. Call IVS 1-866- 

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A conference call is the best way for a dozen people to say “bye” 300 times. 

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BUSINESS 

SP TLIGHT 

207.577.6484 

528 Lincoln Street 

Lewiston 

Professional 

Cleaning Service 

207-712-2765 

realcleanllc@yahoo.com 

realcleanllc.com 

Serving Maine 

Androscoggin 

PET SITTING 

Call today! 

207.712.2765 

androscogginpetsitting@gmail.com 

andropetsit.com 

Richard Moylan 

(207) 777-0050 

791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn 

richardmoylan@allstate.com 

Insurance and coverages subject to terms. 

qualifications and availability. Allstate Property 

and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire and 

Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, Illinois 

© 2010 Allstate Insurance Company 

207-782-7141 

Happy Mother’s Day! 

It’s Pizza Day 

EVERY DAY 

207-782-7141 

LAMETROMAGAZINE.COM 

GET AN AD THIS SIZE 

IN JUNE FOR ONLY $50 

AND WE’LL DONATE 

THE PROCEEDS TO 

MAKE-A-WISH MAINE 

see pg. 26 for details 

Pooper Scooping Services 

No time to scoop 

the poop? 

We can help! 

We scoop so you don’t have to! 

207-713-1550 

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. 



Call 

for your 

FREE QUOTE 

Today! 

CALL THE PROS 

Happy Mother ’s Day! 

Your Vision. 

Our Expertise. 

Kitchens, Baths, 

Decks, & More! 

Gift Certificates 

Available Online 

RON’S 

TRANSMISSION REPAIR SERVICE 

YOUR FULL SERVICE 

REPAIR FACILITY 

SUMMER IS COMING! 

IS YOUR VEHICLE READY? 

VEHICLE MAINTENANCE 

CHECKS DONE HERE 

375-4924 

515 Gardiner Rd. Wales 

207-212-7791 

www.vghomeimprovements.com 

Specializing in Domestic & 

Truck, Automatic & Manual 

Transmissions, Transfer 

Cases, & Differentials 

Ron 

Charpentier, Jr., 

Owner 

229 Center Street, Auburn 

(207) 402-8654 • www.lamassagemaine.com 

Mon., Wed., Fri. 11a-7p • Thu. 9a-7p • Sat. 12p-5p 

Add 4 Months to Your Watersports 

Season with a Wetsuit 

• Swimming 

• Snorkeling 

• Scuba 

• Water-ski 

We can help you 

stay warmer longer! 

CHILDRENS 

TOO! 

805 Main Street 

Lewiston 

784-7300 

FULL COLOR DIGITAL PRINTING 

Posters • Booklets 

Carbonless forms • Envelopes 

Business Cards & More! 

60 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-782-0525 • evergreencustomprinting.com 

Remember and Honor 

Coach Terry’s 

REDEMPTION 

CENTER 

The friendly redemption center 

8 Tidswell Road 

Turner 

207-225-2008 

Open daily 8am to 4pm 

Does your Air-Conditioner Need Re-Charging? 

Our experienced professional technicians can help! 

Your Radiator Repair Experts 

High Quality Maintenance & Automotive Repairs 

Lincoln Street 

RADIATOR SHOP 

Family owned & operated since 1967 

207-784-9356 

1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston 

Monday-Friday: 8a-5p 

OFFERING 

Residential 

Commercial 

Clean Outs 

Roll Offs 

844-ME-TRASH 

844-638-7274 

The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service! 

SERVING 

Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland 

Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples 

9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com 



My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.

CALL THE PROS 

Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services 

Mike Magretto 

Veteran Owned & Operated 

EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 207-530-8890 

REALTY 

REALTY 

Call/Text 207-447-2103 ME License # SA925692 

christine.kennedy@exprealty.com | christinekennedy.exprealty.com 

Call/Text 207-740-0596 ME License # BR924660 

sam.prindle@exprealty.com | www.TallHouseGuy.com 

COME SEE US FOR ALL YOUR FIREARM AND SUPPLIES NEEDS 

COME SEE US FOR ALL YOUR FIREARM AND SUPPLIES NEEDS 

FINE LINE GUNS 

Springfield Hellcat Micro-Compact 9mm 

• OSP Optic Custs Slide 

• 3’’ Hammer Forged Barrel 

• Hex Wasp Red Dot 

• One 13 round & one 11 round magazine 

• Black melonite steel llide 

• Top serrations 

• Textured black polymer grip 

(207) 998-2374 

590 Plains Rd., Poland 

finelinegun@aol.com 

Serving Greater Central Maine 

Ensuring 

Your Home 

is a Safe Place 

RICK BROWNING 

Certified Inspector 

207-619-0868 

upfronthi@gmail.com 

• Custom ATM Surrounds 

• Kiosk Maintenance 

• ATM Site Refurbishing 

• Mobile Events & Full Service ATM Placement 

• Custom Branding Vinyl Wraps 

A.D.A. Compliant 

Fully Insured 

Daniel Bouthot • 207.576.1719 • dbouthot@versatrades.com 

Ouellette’s Cleanup 

Handyman Services 

Farralee Ouellette, proprietor 

Providing janitorial 

& lawn care services 

Residential & Commercial 

PO Box 72 

Paris, Maine 04271 

207-376-5151 

A woman-owned 

business with 

more than 6 years 

experience! 

I don’t have a girlfriend; I just know a girl who would get really mad 

if she heard me say that. 



When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. 

CAMPING SEASON IS A FEW MONTHS AWAY! 

Will you be ready? 

Shuga Shak Country Store 

Maple Baked Beans 

every Saturday! 

CALL OF THE WILD RV CENTER 

848 Main Street, Oxford 

207-539-4410 • www.callofthewildrv.com 

Old Goats 


Serving 24 flavors of 

Soft Serve Ice Cream 

Open Thurs.-Sun. 10a-5p 

Wine • Local Products 

Honey • Pickles • Jams 

Candies • Crafts... 

and much more! 

www.LASummerBlockParty.com 

450 Pigeon Hill Road 

(Rte 26), Mechanic Falls 

207-576-7886 

A group of Americans 

were traveling by tour 

bus through Switzerland. 

As they stopped 

at a cheese farm, a 

young guide led them 

through the process 

of cheese making, 

explaining that goat’s 

milk was used. 

She showed the group 

a lovely hillside where 

many goats were 

grazing. 

“These,” she explained, 

“are the 

older goats put out to 

pasture when they no 

longer produce.” 

She then asked, “What 

do you do in America 

with your old goats?” 

A spry old gentleman 

answered, “They send 

us on bus tours!” 

Saturday, August 13, 2022 

FOOD, FUN, & MUSIC TO BENEFIT 

We are excited to bring you our 8th annual Summer Block Party and hope you’ll consider 

sponsoring this great community event. Help us grant wishes here, right in our backyard. 

Considering being 

a SPONSOR? 

PRESENTING 

WISH 

SPONSOR 

$7,000 

SPONSOR 

OF 

STRENGTH 

$5,000 

SPONSOR 

OF 

HOPE 

$2,500 

LASummerBlockParty.com 

STAR 

SPONSOR 

$1,000 

COMMUNITY 

SPONSOR 

$500 

Industry Exclusivity 

✓ 

Recognition on Block Party Website ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ 

Multiple social media channel shout-outs ✓ ✓ ✓ 

Logo featured on video wall ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ 

Logo featured on sponsorship banner ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ 

Logo on all advertising (print, radio, tv) ✓ ✓ ✓ 

(Print & radio only) (Print only) 

Custom recognition piece ✓ ✓ ✓ ✓ 

Public recognition by Emcee 

Logo in Make-A-Wish event E-Blast 

SATURDAY, AUGUST 12 TH 

✓ 

✓ 

✓ 

(Print only) 

✓ 

(Print only) 



I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.

Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right? 

JOE GENDRON 

Roopers Redemption for 19 Years 

roopersbeverage.com 

This month Roopers would like to express 

our sincere gratitude to Joe Genderon for 

his 19 years of dedicated service to our 

company. His hard work, commitment, and 

contributions have been invaluable and 

have helped our company grow and thrive 

over the years. 

From the early days of his employment 

starting way back with Steve on Sabattus 

St to the present day at Main St Lewiston 

with Andy Frenette, Joe has consistently 

demonstrated a high level of strong work 

ethic that has earned him the respect and 

admiration of his colleagues and superiors. 

During his time at Roopers he has seen the 

Redemption program grow from a small 

redemption center in Lewiston to one of 

the biggest programs in the State with 

six locations, pickup for 300+ bars and 

restaurants, and a drop off program. 

301 Main St., Auburn | 783.9098 

545 Minot Ave., Auburn | 783.2047 

980 Main St., Oxford | 539.6072 

President Jesse St. Laurent writes: “When 

I think of Joe Gendron, loyalty comes first 

to mind. Joe’s tenure and longevity with 

Roopers goes unmatched. His loyalty to his 

work and Roopers cannot be blueprinted. 

His quick wit and wise remarks always keep 

us alert and smiling. We wouldn’t be where 

we are at without loyal people like Joe. I am 

proud and honored to have the opportunity 

to work beside him for the past 13 years. 

Congrats Joe well deserved.” 

As Joe celebrates this milestone of 19 

years with our company, we want him to 

know that his contributions have not gone 

unnoticed. We appreciate his hard work 

and dedication, and although we know he 

is most looking forward to retirement, we 

look forward to continuing to work with him 

for many more years to come. 

794 Sabattus St., Lewiston | 783.6353 

686 Main St., Lewiston | 344.1200 

1420 Lisbon St., Lewiston | 333.3095 

Physical, speech, and 

occupational therapy services. 

Home Support 

Physical, Speech, & 

Occupational Therapy 

Care & Comfort in your own home or our office. 

368 Minot Avenue, Suite 3, Auburn 

Phone: 207-333-5022 • Fax: 207-333-5089 

Cell: 207-513-2279 • Email: davispt2019@icloud.com 

There’s no need to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time. 



LOVE YOUR VEHICLE ALL OVER AGAIN! 

Review on January 5th 2023: “I was able to make a same day appointment and Black Diamond 

Detailing got me right in. They were able to do a deep clean inside and out of my vehicle in 1 hour. They 

were professional and polite. My car smells and feels like I just drove it off the lot. Their prices are incredibly 

reasonable for auto detailing. Worth every penny, I will be back. Thank you Black Diamond!” 

207.740.8963 | Vehicle Pick-up and Drop-off available | follow us 

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger, but then it hit me. 

RMS has joined the Guild Mortgage family 

We are stronger together 

409 SABATTUS STREET , LEWISTON 

Debbie Bodwell 

NMLS# 280336 

Debbie.Bodwell@guildmortgage.net 

181 Center Street, Auburn, ME 04210 

207.754.3962 

I am authorized to do business in the states of Maine, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org) 

Guild Mortgage Company; NMLS #3274; Equal Housing Opportunity; www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org. 


36 UNCLEANDYS.COM 

May 2023

Uncle Andy's Digest - May 2023

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