Uncle Andy's Digest - May 2023
It's May, and the warm weather is finally here. We've put together some funny stuff in the May 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
It's May, and the warm weather is finally here. We've put together some funny stuff in the May 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
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The Difference<br />
Submitted by Trevor Saunders<br />
In light of the rising<br />
frequency of human/<br />
grizzly bear conflicts,<br />
the Montana<br />
Department of Fish<br />
and Game is advising<br />
hikers, hunters, and<br />
fishermen to take extra<br />
precautions and keep<br />
alert for bears while in<br />
the field.<br />
“We advise that outdoors<br />
men wear noisy<br />
little bells on their<br />
clothing so as not to<br />
startle bears that aren’t<br />
expecting them. We<br />
also advise outdoors<br />
men to carry pepper<br />
spray with them in<br />
case of an encounter<br />
with a bear. It is also<br />
a good idea to watch<br />
out for fresh signs of<br />
bear activity. Outdoors<br />
men should recognize<br />
the difference between<br />
black bear and grizzly<br />
bear poop. Black bear<br />
poop is smaller and<br />
contains lots of berries<br />
and squirrel fur. Grizzly<br />
bear poop has little<br />
bells in it and smells<br />
like pepper.”<br />
Ice Cream<br />
Submitted by Pam Ashby<br />
A little old man shuffled<br />
slowly into an ice<br />
cream parlor and pulled<br />
himself slowly, painfully,<br />
up onto a stool. After<br />
catching his breath, he<br />
ordered a banana split.<br />
The waitress asked<br />
kindly, “Crushed nuts?”<br />
“No,” he replied,<br />
“Arthritis.”<br />
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<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
18 <strong>May</strong> <strong>2023</strong><br />
What do you call a Sasquatch with noodles for hair? Spag-Yeti.
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