Uncle Andy's Digest - May 2023
It's May, and the warm weather is finally here. We've put together some funny stuff in the May 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
It's May, and the warm weather is finally here. We've put together some funny stuff in the May 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
continued from page 23<br />
was shocked to see<br />
a giant grizzly bear<br />
behind me. He was<br />
twenty-four feet tall<br />
and had six-inch fangs.<br />
He was going to eat<br />
me, Johnny! Just then<br />
a little dog ran out from<br />
the bushes, jumped up<br />
and attacked the bear.<br />
The little dog killed the<br />
bear and then ate the<br />
whole bear right there<br />
in front of me. What<br />
do you think of that,<br />
Johnny?”<br />
Little Johnny replies,<br />
“Oh yeah, that’s my<br />
dog Sparky. That’s his<br />
third bear this week.”<br />
24 Hour Service<br />
Submitted by Thomas Hill<br />
Needing some clothes<br />
cleaned in a hurry, Jon<br />
searched the small<br />
Georgia town where<br />
he was visiting until he<br />
found a sign that read:<br />
“Cleaning and Pressing,<br />
24-Hour Service.”<br />
After explaining his<br />
needs, he said, “I’ll<br />
be back for my suit<br />
tomorrow.”<br />
“Won’t be ready till<br />
Saturday,” replied the<br />
proprietor.<br />
“But I thought you had<br />
24-hour service,” the<br />
customer protested.<br />
“We do,” the proprietor<br />
replied. “But we only<br />
work 8 hours a day.<br />
Today’s Thursday - 8<br />
hours today, 8 hours<br />
Friday, and 8 on Saturday.<br />
That’s 24-hour<br />
service.”<br />
Party<br />
Platters<br />
Available<br />
(orders only)<br />
Take out • Dine in<br />
Homemade Goods<br />
Gift Certificates Available<br />
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.<br />
Bringing the Ocean to your Table<br />
The freshest seafood around!<br />
Gray, ME<br />
Hours: Mon. 11a-5p • Tues.-Thurs. 10a-6p • Fri.-Sat. 10a-7p • Sun. 10a-5p<br />
1110 MINOT AVE., AUBURN 207.689.3030<br />
WASHRITE LAUNDROMAT<br />
laundry done right<br />
Wash & Dry Service Available<br />
ATM<br />
Change Machine<br />
Soap Dispenser<br />
Waiting Area with TV<br />
Folding Stations<br />
77 Sabattus St. Lewiston<br />
All New<br />
Machines<br />
*CLEAN*<br />
WE HAVE<br />
LIVE<br />
LOBSTERS!<br />
Let us do the cooking!<br />
No extra charge!<br />
207-657-3474<br />
59c Portland Road, Gray<br />
•Brewery•taproom•Café•Coffee by Design•Weekend Brunch•<br />
WE HAVE 15+ DELICIOUS<br />
BEERS ON TAP<br />
- AND TO GO -<br />
BREWED HERE<br />
FOR YOU<br />
Visit our Facebook page for events & beer menu!<br />
/SIDEBYEACHBREWING<br />
WWW.SIDEBYEACHBREWING.COM<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
22 <strong>May</strong> <strong>2023</strong><br />
At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?
Change language