Uncle Andy's Digest - May 2023
It's May, and the warm weather is finally here. We've put together some funny stuff in the May 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
It's May, and the warm weather is finally here. We've put together some funny stuff in the May 2023 Edition of Uncle Andy's Digest. As always, you'll find Great stories, Funny Jokes, Punny Fun, hilarious one-liners, and Fun at our out-and-abouts. Shop local, and find the best central Maine businesses to serve your needs and wants.
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
Business<br />
Trip<br />
Submitted by Trevor Saunders<br />
Phil went on a business<br />
trip and went out<br />
for breakfast when<br />
the waitress came to<br />
his booth she asked,<br />
“What can I get you?”<br />
If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?<br />
COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL<br />
Specializing in:<br />
Commercial site projects<br />
House lots<br />
Septic systems<br />
Phil paused and said<br />
“I’ll tell you what, I’d<br />
like the special, but I<br />
want my toast burned<br />
to a crisp, my bacon<br />
rubbery, my coffee<br />
weak, and when you<br />
bring me the food—I<br />
want you to yell at me.”<br />
Puzzled, the waitress<br />
said “Is that what you<br />
really want, are you<br />
crazy?!”<br />
“No,” said Phil, “I’m<br />
homesick.”<br />
Important<br />
Submitted by Steve Simard<br />
A young businessman<br />
had just started his own<br />
firm. He’d rented a beautiful<br />
office and had it<br />
furnished with antiques.<br />
Sitting there, he saw a<br />
man come into the outer<br />
office. Wishing to appear<br />
busy, the businessman<br />
picked up the phone and<br />
started to pretend he<br />
had a big deal working.<br />
He threw huge figures<br />
around and made giant<br />
commitments.<br />
Finally, he hung up and<br />
asked the visitor, “Can I<br />
help you?”<br />
The man said, “Sure.<br />
I’ve come to install the<br />
phone.”<br />
triplecrown5k.com<br />
47 Broad Street, Auburn<br />
www.firehouseauburn.com<br />
207-376-4959<br />
Monday - Saturday 11a-9p<br />
the greatest 5k series in the Lewiston Auburn area<br />
Register today!<br />
JUNE<br />
4<br />
JULY<br />
16<br />
Call us today!<br />
207.754.2343<br />
hirdcontracting@gmail.com<br />
MAY Drink Special<br />
Tipsy Texan cocktail<br />
You’ll Love<br />
our Daily<br />
Specials!<br />
$<br />
8<br />
Tequila<br />
Ginger Ale<br />
Peach Liquor<br />
Cranberry Juice<br />
BURGER MONDAY Get $2 off your burgers! (dine-in only) • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey<br />
AUGUST<br />
27<br />
DONATE • VOLUNTEER • START A TEAM<br />
<strong>Uncle</strong> Andy’s <strong>Digest</strong><br />
12 <strong>May</strong> <strong>2023</strong><br />
The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant
Change language