Uncle Andy's Digest - October 2023

UNCLE 

DIGEST 

ANDY’S 

Your local guide to... well, just about anything! 

Best Lobster Roll $20 

Mon: 

Half Price Apps 

& Margaritas $6 

Wed: 

Hog & Chicken Wings $10 

Wine $5 

Thurs: 

Cheeseburger 

& Fries $10 

Domestic Bottled Beer $3 

Every Fri & Sat: 

Prime Rib 

Sun: 

Talls for Smalls 

Beef or Chicken 

Nachos $12 

Follow us on Facebook 

Live MUSIC 

Open Pool Table 

Every Sunday 

OCTOBER 

2023 

SINCE 1996 

675 Main St. Lewiston | 207.753.1446 

207-782-7113 

Technician 

Wanted 

Apply Within! 

25 Lisbon St. 

Lewiston 

207.740.9053 

207THC.com 

31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com 

Ask About Our Free Med Cards 

GET REAL. GET HYUNDAI. 

Sales • Lease • Rentals • Parts & Service 

CHECK OUT OUR LARGE 

INVENTORY! 

Call Ryan Kennard 

207-346-0279 

Whited Equipment Co. is your New Factory Authorized Hyundai 

Construction Equipment Dealer for Central & Southern Maine. 

New & used available! 

Uncle Andy’s Digest 

UncleAndys.com 1 

whitedhyundai.com • (855) 882-4010 • Come see us at 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn

James Bond came into Blue Jay Coffee today and ordered his favorite hot drink, 

Pumpkin spy-ced latte. 

Julie Newton 

Roopers Redemption for 24 Years 

roopersbeverage.com 

Meet Julie Newton, a dedicated member 

of the Roopers team for 24 years. For her, 

working in Redemption at Roopers isn’t just 

a job; it’s a calling that was tailor-made for 

her. Julie can do anything. She even cashiered 

for Roopers for a while, but she requested to 

be in Redemption. She loves to work hard and 

stay busy. 

Over the years, she’s witnessed countless 

changes and challenges, but her unwavering 

commitment has remained constant. One 

of her most significant tests came during 

a particularly trying period in her life when 

her daughter suffered a seizure, followed by 

a brain surgery that turned Julie’s life upside 

down. The demands of the job, coupled with 

the emotional turmoil at home, created an 

incredible work-life shuffle. Through it all, 

Julie continued to excel, demonstrating her 

remarkable resilience and unique dedication 

to her colleagues and customers. Her story is 

a testament to the strength of character and 

301 Main St., Auburn | 783.9098 

545 Minot Ave., Auburn | 783.2047 

980 Main St., Oxford | 539.6072 

the remarkable spirit that defines the heart of 

our Roopers family. 

To Julie from President Jesse St Laurent: 

“First time I remember Julie she was sitting 

on the giant rock out front of the Minot Ave 

redemption. The redemption was so slow at 

the time so Julie was reading a book on this 

big rock. The rock is no longer there, but Julie 

is still persevering here at Roopers. All of the 

years Julie has been here, she has been a rock. 

Consistency is such an underappreciated 

quality nowadays, but without it, Roopers 

would never be where we are at. That is 

because of people like Julie. The great thing 

about Julie is not just consistency at work but 

in her life as well. A great wife, a great, loving 

mother, and the rock she is for that family. 

I call her OCD at times, but not why most 

people think…she knows why and we will keep 

it that way!! Roopers appreciates you Julie; 

my family will ALWAYS be a Julie Newton fan. 

Love ya Legs!!!” 

794 Sabattus St., Lewiston | 783.6353 

686 Main St., Lewiston | 344.1200 

1420 Lisbon St., Lewiston | 333.3095 

Humpty Dumpty loved autumn so much he had a great fall.

An octopus’ favorite party is Oktoberfest. 

MODERN WOODMEN 

OF AMERICA 

OCTOBER 2023 

ACTIVITIES 

Saturday, October 14th 

Member Appreciation BBQ 

& Games 

11:00-1:00pm 

VFW 588 Minot Ave 

Auburn, ME 

Free Event-Members 

Only-Must have Ticket 

Pick Up Ticket: 10-11-2023 

(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Tuesday, October 17th 

Roy’s Breakfast 

7:00-10:00am 

5 Washington Street 

Auburn, ME 

Members: $5.00 

Guests: $6.00 

Purchase Tickets: 

10-11-2023 (8:30am-1:00pm) 

Thursday, October 19th 

Mandarin Buffet 

11:00-1:00pm 

750 Sabattus Street 

Lewiston, ME 


Guests: $8.00 


10-11 2023 

(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Tuesday, October 24th 

Dairy Queen 

4:00-7:00pm 

661 Minot Ave Auburn, ME 


Guests: $6.00 


10-11-2023 

(8:30am-1:00pm) 

Reminder: Please do not call 

the restaurants. If you have 

a question, please call the 

office at 207-782-1833 or 

207-333-6052 and speak with 

Jamie. Tickets must be purchased 

at the MWA District 

Office at 184 Webster Street 

Lewiston on the dates/times 

listed for each activity. Menus 

are subject to change. No 

substitutions or add-ons. 

Most importantly - 

Have Fun! 

TELL THEM YOU SAW 

THEIR AD IN THE 

DIGEST! 

You can mend a broken pumpkin with a pumpkin patch. 


UncleAndys.com 3


is published by the first Friday 

of every month by Lydia 

Media LLC with its world 

headquarters located at 2 

Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, 

Auburn, Maine, USA. 

Published and distributed 

since 1996 throughout 

Central Maine and mailed to 

subscribers all over the Free 

World. Subscriptions are 

$49 .95 /year. 

UncleAndys.com 

Office: 207-783-7039 

The best thing to put in a pumpkin pie is your teeth. 

DON’T BE AFRAID TO 

Smile 

M 

Our Team 

PAM 

ASHBY 

PUBLISHER 

STEVE 

SIMARD 

SALES 

All work done on-site. 

Repairs usually same day service! 

STEPHANIE 

ARSENAULT 

OFFICE 

MANAGER 

TOM HILL 

IT • WEB 

AMY 

ST.HILAIRE 

SOCIAL MEDIA 

• Full Dentures 

• Immediate Dentures 

• Partial Dentures 

• Rebases 

• Relines 

• Repairs 

Smile Again 

Dentures 

TIM 

ELWELL 

GRAPHIC 

DESIGNER 

While Uncle Andy’s Digest 

tries very hard to ensure the 

accuracy of the information in our 

clients’ advertisements and our 

publication in general, we are not 

responsible for vendor availability, 

typographical errors, technical 

Uncle inaccuracies, Andy’s product Digest pricing 

errors, or omissions. 

4 October 2023 

Mike & Joe 

Adkins 

Licensed 

Denturists 

801 Webster Street, Lewiston 

smileagaindentures@gmail.com 

SmileAgainDentures.com 

514-0660 

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.

MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSE 

Check Out Our 

Delicious 

Fall Menu 

Watch the 

game, take a 

bite, repeat! 

Visit us this 

football season! 

You’ll love 

the atmosphere! 

Shown here: 

Chicken Cordon Bleu 

with Broccoli Salad, & Mashed Potato 


UncleAndys.com 5 

1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com

If money really did grow on trees, my favorite season would be fall. 

Call us for a quote TODAY! 

It’s why I’m here. 

HATS 

MUGS 

EMBROIDERY 

SCREENPRINTING 

See us for 

Spooktacular 

Deals! 

PENS 

BAGS 

Some things we all have in common. 

There’s nobody like me to protect the things 

we all value. 

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.® 

CALL ME TODAY. 

FALL SPORTS 

WEAR 

Now offering 

online stores 

205 Washington St. 

South, Auburn 

207-784-4184 

coastaltshirts.com 

How come we never see the headline, 

“Psychic Wins Lottery”? 

coastaltshirts.com 

Hours 

Mon.-Fri. 9am-8pm Sat. & Sun. 9am-3pm 

Massage, facials and body treatments 

Carve out some 

time for a massage 

Fall in love with your skin! 

It was me, I let the 

dogs out. 

11 Mechanic Falls Rd. Oxford, Maine 

essencewellnessspa.com | 207-539-5128 



Humpty Dumpty will have a great fall to make up for this miserable summer.

THE AMERICAN LEGION 

FAMILY 

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on Fridays 

and get a surprise! 

“SEE YOU AT THE POST!” 

Members & Guests Welcome! 

AMERICAN LEGION ACT 

Veterans who were honorably discharged 

but whose service did not fall into previously 

defined war eras may now join 

the American Legion immediately. The 

eligibility now spans from Dec. 7, 1941, 

until a time when the U.S. is no longer at 

war, as determined by Congress. 

RED SHIRT FRIDAYS: Wear your red shirt on 

Fridays and get a surprise! “SEE YOU AT THE POST!” 

For Veteran or Community services, call 

207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229 

Birds fly south in the Fall because it’s too far to walk. 

Hall Rentals Available 

Call for more 

information 

207-782-1118 

71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118 

HOURS: Monday - Thursday: 12pm-8pm • Friday: 12pm-11pm 

Saturday: 12pm-9pm • Sunday: 11am-6pm 

MUSIC, KARAOKE & DANCE w/ JEAN LOUIS 

FRIDAYS 7-11pm in October 

Jerry Joe - October 6th & 20nd • 7 - 11pm 

BREAKFAST BUFFET | SUNDAY OCTOBER 15TH, 8-10AM 

Scrambled eggs, sausage, gravy, bacon,baked beans, fried potatoes, crepes, toast, 

creton, juices, and coffee - Adults $10 Kids under 10 $5 

HALLOWEEN TRUNK-OR-TREAT • SUNDAY OCT. 29TH 

Post parking lot 4-6pm 

SONS MEETING DATE - 10/9/23 

VISIT • NATIONAL COMMANDER 

NOVEMBER 4TH AT 9AM 

PORKLOIN DINNER • October 28th 

Mash potatoes, veggies, 

dinner roll, salad, & Desert 

ADULTS- $12 • UNDER 10- $8 

HALLOWEEN PARTY 

WITH JEAN LOUIS 

OCTOBER 28TH • 7-11AM 

PRIZES: 

1st $100 

2nd $50 

3rd $25 

MONTHLY MEETING WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 18 TH 

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6:30PM GENERAL MEMBERSHIP 7PM 

Legion Members attending have a chance to win $100, $50, or $25 

Out and About at 

The Chapman 

House 

Elvis 

loved to eat fried 

peanut butter & banana 

sandwiches. 

Branden Kruger 

& Lindsay Analetto 

One leaf said to the other — “I’m falling for you”. 

Looking to FALL 

into a new home? 

Ray Usher 

& Jenn Rhuda 

Jon 

Mercier 

Mark 

Turner 

Deb 

Morin 

Evelyn Curless 

Linda 

Dupuis 

Dustin 

Mallar 

Mason 

Dupuis 

Lindsay 

Wright 

Malayka 

Harriman 

368 Minot Avenue, Auburn | 207.333.6001 | mainesourcehomes.com 

Brandon 

Duarte 

Donna Holt 

What has ears but can’t hear a thing? — A cornfield. 




The Golden Paw 

Awards 

Greater Androscoggin 

Humane Society 

Adam West 

What kind of coat goes on wet? — A coat of paint. 

Take Out 

Available! 

DAILY SPECIALS 

MONDAY - CLOSED 

TUESDAY 

Fried Pickle Basket 

Thatcher’s Burger 

25oz domestic drafts 

WEDNESDAY 

3 Beef Tacos 

Thatcher’s Burrito 

Well Margaritas • Coronas 

THURSDAY 

Stuffed Peppers 

Buffalo Chicken Salad 

Microbrews 

FRIDAY 

Clam Cake Basket 

Fish & Chips 

SIRLOIN TIPS - TERIYAKI GLAZE 

Tender beef sirloin sauteed with broccoli 

& mushrooms in a teriyaki sauce 

207-782-2135 Auburn Mall 

Tues. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm 

SATURDAY 

2 Hot Dogs w/fries 

Miller Lite Bottles 

SUNDAY 

12" Cheese Pizza 

Bloody Mary’s 

Domestic Light/Lite Drafts 

Board President 

Denise Ouellette 

What runs around a farm but doesn’t move? — A fence. 

Colleen Verrault 

& Dee Kelley 

Golden Paw 

Caitlain Jasper 



Trees hate tests because they get stumped by the questions.

The scarecrow won a medal because he was outstanding in his field. 

Providing a warm and comfortable 

home for our residents. 

Wedding 

Planning 

Submitted by Trevor Saunders 

Jacob age 85, and 

Rebecca age 79 are all 

excited about their decision 

to get married. 

They go for a stroll 

to discuss the wedding 

and on the way 

go past a drugstore. 

Jacob suggests that 

they go in. 

He addresses the man 

behind the counter, 

“Are you the owner?” 

The pharmacist answers, 

“Yes.” 

Jacob asks, “Do you 

sell heart medication?” 

“Of course we do.” 

“How about medicine 

for circulation?” 

The Chapman House 

Home for senior ladies 

The Chapman House has private rooms available for residents, 

aged 65 and older, who need assistance with bathing, 

medications, and meals. 

41 Pleasant Street, Auburn | 207-783-0961 

Bonnie Iwans 

The pharmacist said, 

“Yes, all kinds.” 

“What about medicine 

for rheumatism?” 

“Definitely,” was the 

reply. 

Jacob continued, 

“What about vitamins 

and sleeping pills?” 

“Absolutely,” the 

pharmacist informed 

him. “Why do you 

need all of those medications?” 

Jacob answered, 

“We’d like to register 

here for our wedding 

gifts.” 

You shouldn’t tell a secret in a cornfield because the corn has ears. 



Granting 

Wishes 


Uncle After Andy’s watching Digest the 

movie May Cinderella, 2023 fiveyear-old 

Sarah started 

using her pinwheel as 

AD 

a magic 

PROOF 

wand, pretending 

she was a fairy 

Hi Peggy, godmother. 

Please 

Sarah 

review 

then decided 

your 

to try her magical 

proof powers carefully. on her It family. will 

run She as started you see with if her 

changes mother. are not 

received by 

“Make three wishes,” 

she April told her 24th mom, 

“and I’ll grant them.” 

Thank you! 

“Wow,” exclaimed 

her mother, “that is 

exciting!” Contact Pam 

cell: 207-754-9494 

office Her 207-783-7039 

mom first asked 

design@UncleAndys.com 

for world peace. Sarah 

swung her wand 

and proclaimed the 

request fulfilled. 

Next, her mother 

requested for a cure 

for everyone who was 

sick. 

Again, with a sweep 

of the pinwheel, Sarah 

obliged. 

The mother, with a 

glance down at her 

rather ample curves, 

made her third wish, 

“I wish to have a trim 

figure again.” 

The miniature fairy 

godmother started 

waving her wand 

madly, “I’ll need more 

power for this one!” 

she exclaimed. 

Trees get onto the internet by logging on. 

COOK UP A STORM. DURING A STORM. 

*Based on generator and load size. 

When a bad storm or utility outage knocks out power, a reliable 

KOHLER® generator keeps your lights on, your fridge cold and 

your house protected. And it can power your entire home.* 

So turn up the heat. No matter the weather, we’re with you. 

Dealer Name 

City, State 

000.000.0000 

Website.com 

UAD May 2023 Page 22 

The best vest for November is a har-vest. 

From engines to generators, we give the world power. 

*based on generator and load size. 

D E A L E R 

2023 Newspaper_KeepCooking_5x10.5.indd 1 12/13/22 3:36 PM 

COOK UP A STORM. 

DURING A STORM. 

When a bad storm or utility outage 

knocks out power, a reliable KOHLER ® 

generator keeps your lights on, your 

fridge cold, and your house protected. 

And it can power your entire home.* 

So turn up the heat. No matter the 

weather, we’re with you. 

From engines to generators, 

we give the world power. 

Don’t let your boiler look like this 

Get your yearly boiler 

cleaning/servicing 

CLEANINGS ONLY 

220 .00* 

$ 

220 

*Plus materials if needed 

CALL TODAY! 

207-754-4556 

DID YOU KNOW? 

Getting your domestic hot water from your boilers 

coil is the MOST EXPENSIVE way to get hot water! 

Ask about alternatives. 



The apple pie started crying. Its peelings were hurt when I said pumpkin was my favorite.

24 Hour 

Service 

A ratio of a pumpkin’s diameter to its circumference is Pumpkin Pi. 

PRO-TECH REFRIGERATION 

IS GROWING! 

We are seeking 

MOTIVATED 

SERVICE 

TECHNICIANS 

& INSTALLERS 

to join our team! 


The Chapman 

House 

Caroline Cote 

235 N. River Road, Auburn 

207-777-5600 

www.pro-techrefrigeration.com 

protechoffice11@yahoo.com 

Now offering 

medical benefits! 

Fully Insured 

Air Conditioning & Heating 

Proudly serving Auburn, Lewiston, 

and the surrounding communities! 

Straw-berries is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit. 

Fran Beaulieu 

Gisele Beaulieu 

Elvis has left 

the building! 

Patrick Beaulieu 

Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad fall is here? 





Awards 



Dr. Steve Kinney 

August said to October — “Wake me up when September ends.” 

& Maintenance 

Helping keep your 

home healthy 

Now offering 

dryer vent 

cleaning 

& Air duct 

cleanings 

10% OFF 

CLEANINGS 

CALL NOW! 

207-619-0868 

Golden Paw 

Committee Chair 

Joanne Lebe 

Amy Sanchez 

Richard Rzyski 

47 Broad Street, Auburn 

www.firehouseauburn.com 

207-376-4959 

Monday - Saturday 11a-9p 

Bringing the Ocean to your Table 

Party 

Platters 

Available 

(orders only) 

Take out • Dine in 

Homemade Goods 

Gift Certificates Available 

OCtober october Special 

You’ll Love 

our Daily 

Specials! 

BURGER MONDAY Get $2 off your burgers! (dine-in only) • WHISKEY WEDNESDAY $1 off whiskey 

The freshest seafood around! 

Gray, ME 

$ 

8 

Hours: Mon. 11a-5p • Tues.-Thurs. 11a-6p • Fri. 11a-7p • Sat. 10a-7p • Sun. 10a-5p 

Purple 

People 

Eater 

WE HAVE 

LIVE 

LOBSTERS! 

Let us do the cooking! 

207-657-3474 

59c Portland Road, Gray 



When talking in an apple library you use your incider voice.

HAS IT ALL 

Your one-stop shop for: 

• Amazing food (eat in or take out) 

• Agency liquor store with beer cave 

• Lottery tickets 

• Redemption center 

207-345-5551 

23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com 

CATERING 

Full serve catering at the 

location of your choice. 

Book Your 

2024 

Business 

Events 

Now! 

207-345-9009 

DadsPlaceCatering.com 

Dad’s Redemption Center 

REDEMPTION CENTER 

6 ¢ 

on all 5¢ returns with this coupon. 

Located in the building behind Dad’s Place 

Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm 

(closed Mondays, Tuesdays, & Major Holidays) 


(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting) UAD exp. 10.31.23 


Sunday Play 

Submitted by Pam Ashby 

Father Norton woke up 

one Sunday morning. 

It was an exceptionally 

beautiful and sunny 

early spring day, and 

he decided he just had 

to play golf. 

He called up his 

associate priest and 

told him that he was 

feeling sick and asked 

him to hold Mass for 

him that day. As soon 

as he hung up from 

talking to him, Father 

Norton headed for a 

golf course about 40 

miles away. He wanted 

to make sure that he 

didn’t run into anyone 

he knew. After all, everyone 

else would be 

in church. 

At the course, Father 

Norton asked to 

play alone, and as he 

strolled to the first tee, 

St. Peter leaned over 

to the Lord while they 

were looking down 

from Heaven and 

exclaimed, “You’re 

not going to let him 

get away with this, are 

you?” 

The Lord sighed and 

responded, “No, I 

guess not.” 

Father Norton teed 

his ball up and took a 

mighty swing. The ball 

came off the face of 

his driver like a cannon 

shot, straight and 

true. His ball landed 

just short of the green, 

bounced on it, and 

(continued on next page) 



The crossing gourd helps little pumpkins cross the road to school. 

LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience! 

40 East Avenue, Lewiston | www.sea40me.com | 207-795-6888 

10/4 - Heather Price 

10/11 - bryan Luke 

10/18 - Jim Tuscano 

10/25 - Robert Fowler 

Our Facebook followers showed us what they were up to during 

the Labor Day Weekend - follow us on social media! 

Laurie Hiscock and family, 

Kittery Trading Post 

Residential Friendly Dumpsters 

Bin Sizes: 

6 yd. bin- 10’ long x 5.5’ wide - 3’ high 

10 yd. bin - 10’ long x 7’ wide - 4’ high 

14 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8 wide - 4.5’ high 

20 yd. bin - 11’ long x 8’ wide - 6’ high 

Sue Marichal-Lussier, 

Cobbosseecontee Lake 

Melanie Cyr, Lovewell 

Pond 

Dispatch 

Office: 207-224-0337 

Cell: 207-212-0736 

170 N. Daggett Hill Rd. 

Greene, ME 04236 

portlandme@bintheredumpthat.com 

Our Residential Friendly Design Includes 

Easy Load Doube Rear Doors 

Driveway Protection Boards 

Dependable Friendly Service 

207-224-0337 

www.bintherdumpthatusa.com 

The tree worried that he would never get his leaves back after autumn 

because he didn’t be-leaf in himself.

The lions moved at the end of summer because the pride goeth before the fall. 

Come see Kathy & Joe! 

Scan 

here to 

see our 

menu! 



Awards 



Order Online! Visit our website: stationgrillrestaurant.com 

Online Ordering 

Available! 

Now 

Hiring 

Wait 

staff ! 

DINNER HOURS 

Tuesday - Wednesday: 7am-3pm • Sunday: 7am-3pm 

dinner: Thurs., Fri., & Sat. 7Am-9pm 

Month of October Special - Station Grill Burger Night 

Thursday 3-9pm $3 off all burgers 

OCTOBER SPECIAL 

Industry Night 

Every Wednesday 25% off your tab 

Outside Seating available 

• Rib Eye 

• Teriyaki glazed Salmon 

• Seafood Casserole 

• New York Strip 

Full Bar • Cocktails • Beer • Wine 

103 Lincoln Street, Lewiston 

207-333-5062 

SCHMENGEES BAR & GRILL 

November 11 Bags fly at 11am 

2nd annual $2000 

Beast Boards Cornhole 

Tournament. 

$60 per team - Max 50 teams 

Volunteer 

Pauline Taylor 

I'm all about 

that pug life. 

Katie Lisnik, GAHS 

Executive Director 

(continued from previous page) 

then rolled straight into 

the hole, a 420-yard 

hole-in-one! 

St. Peter was astonished. 

He looked at 

the Lord and asked, 

“How could you let 

that happen?” 

The Lord just smiled 

and replied, “Who’s he 

going to tell?” 

Vampires start their letters with "Tomb it may concern..." 




The Chapman 

House 

Thank you, thank 

ya very much! 

My accountant came to my Halloween party as Count Dracula. 

EVENT 

SERIES 2023-24 

Don Boudreau, “E. P. 

Rock”, Elvis Tribute 

Artest 

Abby Gurschick 

Runnin’ Down A Dream 

Tom Petty Tribute Band 

7 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 7 

Doors /cash bar open at 6 p.m. 

Bill Griese brings the songs and stories of Taylor in a 

refreshingly authentic way, using only his spot-on vocals 

and skillful guitar playing. It’s a natural and respectful 

homage to an American original. 

7 p.m. Friday, Oct. 13 

Doors /cash bar open at 6 p.m. 

Sweet Baby James 

Oct. 14 

Bean Supper 

Five veteran musicians from Maine, with 

local and national experience, play Tom 

Petty’s music: the feeling, meaning, and 

very soul of these songs are undeniable. 

Oct. 15 

Piano Concert 

Sponsor: Champoux Insurance 

Oct. 19, 20, 21 

Fright Night Walk 

Oct. 29 Oct. 11, 25, Nov. 1, 8, 15, Dec. 20 

Fiddle-icious Line Dance Lessons with Jake 

Colleen Bennett 

Underwriter 

TICKETS Call Susan 

207-689-2000 

46 Cedar Street, Lewiston 

www.francocenter.org 

Media Sponsors 

BENNETT RADIO GROUP 

Marie Hebert 



The Vampire would only have Blood Hounds as his pet.

I feel like a vampires favorite fruit would be a Neck-tarine! 

What’s 

Wrong? 

Submitted by Pam Ashby 

WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER 

NEW MEMBERS! 

Travis Mills Foundation 

www.travismillsfoundation.org 

Sweetser 

www.sweetser.org 

One afternoon, a man 

went to his doctor and 

told him that he hasn’t 

been feeling well lately. 

The doctor examined 

the man, left the room, 

and came back with 

three different bottles 

of pills. 

People Skills Development 

www.peopleskillsdev.com 

Boots 2 Roots 

www.boots2roots.org 

415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM 

The Italian ghosts had Spook-hetti for dinner. 

Insightful Workplace Solutions 

www.insightfulworkplace.com 

Senior Planning Center 

www.seniorplanningcentermaine.com 

Out and About at The Golden Paw Awards 

Greater Androscoggin Humane Society 

The doctor said, “Take 

the green pill with a 

big glass of water 

when you wake up. 

Take the blue pill with 

a big glass of water 

after you eat lunch. 

Then just before going 

to bed, take the red pill 

with another big glass 

of water.” 

Startled to be put on 

so much medicine, the 

man stammered, “Jeez 

Doc, exactly what is 

my problem?” 

The doctor replied, 

“You’re not drinking 

enough water.” 

Beautiful 


A little boy watched, 

fascinated, as his 

mother covered her 

face with a facial mask. 

“Why do you do that?” 

he asked. 

“To make myself 

beautiful,” respnded 

the mother. 

Dr. Steve Kinney (far right, Cynthia Crocker “Above and Beyond” Award winner) 

with the staff of the Gray Animal Center 

When she began to rub 

it off, the boy asked, 

“Why are you doing 

that? Did you give up?” 

Instead of a Halloween Party we are having Fangs-giving. 





Awards 



The mummies favorite music to listen to is wrap. 

We have the tools and equipment to help! 

Get your yard ready for the winter! 

Mark Turcotte, WIGY 

Rakes • Shovels • Wheelbarrows • Trimming Tools • Wood Splitters • & More! 

186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus, ME • (207) 375-6253 

2 Miles Off I-95 Exit 86 Family Owned & Operated 

Our Facebook followers showed us what they were up to during 

the Labor Day Weekend - follow us on social media! 

Future Hero 

Honorable Mention 

Simon Sweet 

Janice Callahan Barrett and Crew, 

DeadRiver 

Jessie Charest 

Shannon Martin 

Check out our in-store Weekly Ad for our 2023 specials! 

Roy’s 

FOODLAND 

Get your 

Halloween 

goodies 

here 

Best Chicken & 

Ham Salad 

IN THE WORLD! 

Try our hamburger, 

it’s the best! 

Pam Ashby & 

Sara Caron 

SATURDAY 

Beans, bread/rolls & 

cole slaw 

$11.99 

WEDNESDAY 

Ham, Veggie, Salami, 

or Pepperoni Italians 

$3.49 

PIZZA PACKS 

Pizza 

Packs 

$12.99 

Beanie Babies 

on Sale Here! 

70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471 

www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com 

Mon.-Thurs. 8am-6pm • Fri. 8am-7pm • Sat. 8am-6pm • Sun. Closed 



When you take a break at a mortuary it’s called a Coffin Break.

HAPPY HOUR 

4-6PM DAILY 

SUNDAYS 

Bloody Marys 

The witch that grew up in the desert had a Sand-witch for lunch. 

Costume 

Contest 

& Giveaways 

7:30PM 

21+ - $10 

Saturday, October 28 

8-11pm 

BANDS PLAYING 

ALIONS 

THE BENEDICT CRIPPLER 

ACENT TO POWER 

Check our FB page for ticket info 

IDENTITY CRISIS 

Saturday, October 14 

7-11pm 

STRANGELY POSSIBLES 

Thursday, October 21 

Make our favorite place, your favorite place! 

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8-11pm 

METAL NIGHT HALLOWEEN PARTY 

LOCAL EXCAVATION COMPANY 

NOW HIRING CDL OPERATOR 

CALL OR EMAIL 

TO INQUIRE 

hirdcontracting@gmail.com 207.754.2343 

Campfire 

Ghost Story 

Submitted by Thomas Hill 

Ever since she was a 

little girl, when Rachel 

got scared she would 

put her hand under her 

bed and her dog would 

give her hand kisses to 

comfort her. 

Rachel was older now, 

and her parents were 

going out. They were 

going to be out late, 

and Rachel didn’t want 

to be alone but her 

parents told her she 

was old enough to stay 

home alone and she 

would be fine. 

Rachel’s parents left 

at 8:00pm, and after 

an hour and a half of 

watching T.V., Rachel 

decided to go to bed. 

Rachel was kinda 

scared, sleeping with 

no one home, so when 

she heard a whimpering 

sound, almost like 

a puppy whining. She 

put her hand under 

her bed and got some 

kisses, and tried to fall 

asleep again. 

Then she heard it 

again, the whimpering 

sound, so she put her 

hand under her bed 

and got more reassuring 

kisses. 

She finally fell asleep 

and was woken up 

in the morning to the 

sound of her dog barking 

in the backyard. He 

had been outside all 

night. 

` The skeleton knew it was going to rain on Halloween 

because he could feel it in his bones. 



My daughter wants to study burrowing rodents. I told her to gopher it 

Camping Season is coming 

to a close 

New 

Arrivals 

daily! 

Now is the time to check out our inventory of new 2024 RV’s. 

CALL OF THE WILD RV CENTER 

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Poisson & Sons Auto Care 

260 S. Main Street, Auburn 207.782.9144 

FULL SERVICE GAS STATION 

GOING UP! 

October 

2023 

Stickers are due! 

G 

PAINTING & DRYWALL 

COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL 

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G 

& 

207-754-9798 

giambra34@gmail.com 

BRING Home Cooking HOME 

Offering homemade meals, 

snacks, and treats to eat-in 

or take home. 

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WE’RE HIRING 

CARPENTERS & 

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Out & About at Sturdy Hardware 

APPLY ONLINE AT HEBERTCONSTRUCTION.COM 

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Pam Ashby 

Marketing Specialist 

207.754.9494 

pam@ 


2 Great Falls Plaza, 

Suite 1B, Auburn 

Office: 

207-783-7039 

Official greeters at Sturdy Hardware, 

Samson & Abby 



I wanted a career as a fisherman, but I couldn’t live on the net income.

I’m reading a book called “Quick Money for Dummies” by Robin Banks. 

Change your clock, change 

your battery. 

THE CHAMPOUX GROUP 

CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS 

I N S U R A N C E 

...Your Security is Our Concern! 

Protect 

yourself... 

and your 

business! 


The Chapman 

House 

Janet & Jeannine Cyr 

October is Fire Prevention Month 

Check your smoke detectors! 

Call for a quote today! 

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150 East Ave. Lewiston • MaineInsuranceonline.com 

Sue Peters 

Nostalgia: How long has that been around? 

I saw Elvis, he 

sat between me 

& Bigfoot on a UFO. 

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it! 

NOW AVAILABLE - ONLINE ORDERING 

Lindsay Analetto, 

Chapman House 

Tammy & Jr Frechette 

MOE 

Ray Cloutier & George Johnson (Carries Moe with him at all times) 

Breakfast served all day 

87 Mill Street, New Auburn 

207-753-0171 

rollysnewauburn.com 

Monday-Saturday: 6a-2p • Closed Sunday 

Lorrie Morin 

& Steve Peters 

If you wear a facemask and glasses, you may be entitled to condensation. 



A Hike In The 

Woods 


Kevin is going on 

a hiking vacation 

through the mountains 

out West. Before 

setting off into the 

boonies, he stops into 

a small general store 

to get some supplies. 

After picking out the 

rest of his provisions, 

Kevin asks the old 

store owner, “Say, Mister, 

I’m going hiking 

up in the mountains, 

and I was wondering; 

do you have any bears 

around here?” 

“Yup,” replies the store 

owner. 

“What kind?” asks 

Kevin. 

“Well, we got black 

bears and we got grizzlies,” 

he replies. 

“I see,” says Kevin. 

“Do you have any of 

those bear bells?” 

“What do you mean?” 

asks the store owner. 

I have abs. They are just hidden under my love for food. 

CHICKEN FEED 

FULL SERVICE & 

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Heavy Duty Truck & 

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State Inspection Station 

Commercial & Motor Vehicle Stickers 

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250 Broad Street, Auburn 

Though many would argue 

that candy corn tastes like 

chicken feed, that's not how it 

got its original name. Created 

in the 1880s by George 

Renninger, it was sold to the 

masses by Goelitz Confectionery 

Company (now Jelly Belly 

Co.) at the turn of the century. 

Because corn is what was used 

to feed chickens, the creation 

was called "Chicken Feed" and 

the box was marked with a 

colorful rooster. 

“You know,” replies 

Kevin, “those little 

tinkle-bells that people 

wear in bear country 

to warn the bears that 

they are coming, so 

they don’t surprise 

the bears and get 

attacked.” 

“Oh yeah,” replies the 

owner. “They’re over 

there,” he says, pointing 

to a shelf on the 

other side of the store. 

(continued on next page) 

The Right 

Coverage at the 

Right Price. 

Copyright ©2022 NFP. All Rights Reserved. 

Discover insurance solutions from local industry experts 

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Visit our new NFP office: 

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I chose the road less traveled. Now I’m lost.

Sometimes a majority just means that all the fools are on the same side. 

Casa 

Taco 

Del 

32 Riverside Drive, Auburn 

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• Dinner parties 

• Weddings 

• Family gatherings 

• Corporate lunches 

Call us today! 

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Out and About at The Chapman House 

(continued from previous page) 

Kevin selects a couple 

of the bells and takes 

them to the counter to 

pay for them. 

“Tell me something, 

Mister,” Kevin inquires, 

“how can you tell 

when you’re in bear 

territory, anyway?” 

“By the scat,” the 

store owner replies, 

ringing up Kevin's 

purchases. 

“Well, um, how can 

I tell if it’s grizzly 

territory or black bear 

territory?” Kevin asks. 

“By the scat,” the 

store owner replies. 

“Well, what’s the difference?” 

Kevin asks. “I 

mean, what’s different 

between grizzly scat 

and black bear scat?” 

“The stuff that’s in 

it,” replies the store 

owner. 

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Getting a little frustrated, 

Kevin asks, “OK, 

so what’s in grizzly 

bear scat that isn’t 

in black bear scat?” 

he asks, an impatient 

tone in his voice. 

“Bear bells,” replies 

the old man as he 

hands the hiker his 

purchases. 

30+ 

Years of 

Experience! 

Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston 

Behind every angry woman is a man who has no idea what he did wrong. 



Give them pumpkin to talk about. 

Your trusted, 

nonprofit resource 

for assistance 

and information 

Medicare counseling • Caregiver support 

Educational programming • Meals on Wheels 

seniorsplus.org • 1-800-427-1241 

Serving 24 flavors of 

Soft Serve Ice Cream 

Open Thurs.-Sun. 10a-5p 

Shuga Shak Country Store 

Now selling lobster 

live or cooked 

Lobster Rolls 

Maple Baked Beans 

every Saturday! 

Wine • Local Products 

Honey • Pickles • Jams 

Candies • Crafts... 

and much more! 

450 Pigeon Hill Road 

(Rte 26), Mechanic Falls 

207-576-7886 

National Estate Planning Week 

October 17-23, 2023 

Looking for a 

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Do you have an estate plan in place? 

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Call: 207-777-7740 

The proud publisher for 

both local magazines! 

2 GREAT FALLS PLAZA, SUITE 1B, AUBURN | 207.783.7039 | UNCLEANDYS.COM | LAMETROMAGAZINE.COM 



The ghostess with the mostest.

If one door closes and another opens, your house is haunted. 

Muriel celebrated... 

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The Meadows 

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Do you want to advertise 

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email today for more information: 

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The Smartest 

Submitted by Thomas Hill 

A doctor, a lawyer, a 

little boy and a priest 

were out for a Sunday 

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trouble. In spite of the 

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yelled to the passengers 

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better jump, and then 

he bailed out. 

Unfortunately, there 

were only three parachutes 

remaining. 

The doctor grabbed 

one and said “I’m a 

doctor, I save lives, 

so I must live,” and 

jumped out. 

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The lawyer then said, 

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The priest looked at 

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your whole life ahead 

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parachute and live in 

peace.” 

The little boy handed 

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“Not to worry, Father. 

The ‘smartest man in 

the world’ just took off 

with my back pack!” 

Ghoals just want to have fun! 



I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m on my way. 

Step 

/2023 

/2023 

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Lewiston 

LET US CARVE 

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Androscoggin 

PET SITTING 

Blind as a 

Bat 


A vampire bat came 

flapping in for the night 

covered in fresh blood 

and parked himself on 

the ceiling of the cave 

to get some sleep. 

Pretty soon all the 

other bats smelled the 

blood and started hassling 

him about where 

he got it. 

He told them to leave 

him alone and let him 

get some sleep, but 

they persisted until he 

finally gave in. 

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EAT IN OR TAKE OUT 

DO GOOD, BE NICE 

ORDER PIZZA 

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LAMETROMAGAZINE.COM 

Call today! 

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androscogginpetsitting@gmail.com 

andropetsit.com 

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Cleanings for: 

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Commercial/ Office 

Post Construction 

Rental Turn Over 

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Richard Moylan 

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791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn 

richardmoylan@allstate.com 

“Okay, follow me” he 

said and flapped out of 

the cave with hundreds 

of bats behind him. 

Down through a valley 

they went, across a river 

and into a forest of 

trees. Finally he slowed 

down and all the other 

bats excitedly milled 

around him. 

“Now, do you see that 

giant oak over there?” 

he asked. 

“YES, YES, YES” 

all the other bats 

SCREAMED in a 

frenzy. 

“Good” said the 

first bat, “because I 

didn’t!” 

Insurance and coverages subject to terms. 

qualifications and availability. Allstate Property 

and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire 

and Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, 

Illinois © 2010 Allstate Insurance Company 

How wonderful it is that we laugh because our bodies can’t contain the joy. 



CALL THE PROS 

Accounting 

& Tax 

Service You 

Can Trust! 

MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A. 

Certified Public Accountant 

Tax Planning & Preparation 

for Individuals and Business 

207.782.1040 • PO Box 895, Auburn, ME 04212 

mspaulding@androscoggin.tax 

Our experienced professional 

technicians can help! 

Our technicians are skilled at diagnosing 

all kinds of mechanical issues. 

Foreign & Domestic Automobiles! 

Lincoln Street 

RADIATOR SHOP 

Family owned & operated since 1967 

207-784-9356 

1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston 

Follow us on 

Monday-Friday: 8a-5p 

Professional 

Cleaning Service 

Residential 

Commercial 

Windows 

Floors 

207-712-2765 realcleanllc.com Serving Maine 

Fine Line Gun Shop 

GUNS • AMMO • SUPPLIES 

HUGE 

selection of 

hunting rifles! 

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207-783-0000783-0000 

corporateintelligenceinc.comtelligenceinc.com 

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SERVICES OFFERED 

Aluminum 

Wood 

Vinyl 

Chain-link 

Ornamental 

Electric gates 

Decks, railings & more 

hopkinsfencingandcarpentry@gmail.com 

Steve Simard 

Marketing Specialist 

207.754.1815 

steve@ 


2 Great Falls Plaza 

Suite 1B, Auburn 

Office: 

207-783-7039 

• Decks, sheds 

• Basement remodels 

• Light Carpentry 

• Plowing & Sanding 

• Fully Insured 

Commercial & Residential 

Joe Scammon 

207.402.1330 



I hate it when I’m eating something crunchy and I can’t hear the TV anymore.

RON’S 

TRANSMISSION REPAIR SERVICE 

YOUR FULL SERVICE 

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WHEN YOU SEE THIS 

YOU SHOULD SEE US! 

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515 Gardiner Rd. Wales 

CALL THE PROS 

We Specialize in domestic car & truck, 

automatic & manual transmissions, 

transfer cases & Differentials. 

FALL ONTO OUR TABLE 

Ron 

Charpentier, Jr., 

Owner 

Massage can boost your immunity 

& helps you get a better nights sleep. 

We make you LOOK GREAT! 

FULL COLOR BOOKLETS & MORE! 

Booklets • Posters • Carbonless forms 

Envelopes • Business Cards & More! 

Call today for a free quote! 

207-782-0525 

2 Great Falls Plaza, Suite 1B, Auburn, Maine• evergreencustomprinting.com 

Mon., Wed., Fri. 11a-7p • Thu. 9a-7p • Sat. 12p-5p 

Call to 

book your 

personalized 

treatment! 

229 Center Street, Auburn 

(207) 402-8654 

www.lamassagemaine.com 

Office & Light Industrial Cleaning Services 

Mike Magretto 

Veteran Owned & Operated 

EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 207-530-8890 

Specializing in Heat Pumps/AC, Oil & Gas Furnace 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 

Coach Terry’s 

REDEMPTION 

CENTER 

The friendly redemption center 

8 Tidswell Road Turner, 207-225-2008 

Open daily 8am to 4pm 

Don’t wait 

to schedule 

your heating 

maintenance 

free 

quotes! 

Ryan Queen • hvacsolutions207@gmail.com 

OFFERING 

Residential 

Commercial 

Clean Outs 

Roll Offs 

The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service! 

SERVING 

Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland 

Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples 

Add 4 Months to Your Watersports 

Season with a Wetsuit 

• Swimming 

• Snorkeling 

• Scuba 

• Water-ski 

We can help you 

stay warmer longer! 

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844-638-7274 

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CHILDRENS 

TOO! 

805 Main Street 

Lewiston 

784-7300 

You can always count on me to bring my famous recipe of “a bag of ice” to the party. 




The Chapman 

House 

The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf. 

NO BONES ABOUT IT... MUSIC IS SPOOKTACULAR FOR STUDENTS OF ALL AGES 

Mary Murphy, 

Chapman House, 

Board of Directors 

Main St. Music Lessons 207-376-3376 

33 Dunn Street, Auburn • www.mainstreetmusiclessons.com 

Stingy Jack 

Maureen 

& Kevin Kevus 

Irish Central details the myth of Stingy 

Jack, who was eternally doomed to roam 

the earth at night after making a deal with 

the devil. To guide his way, he lit a coal 

in a carved out turnip, inspiring Irish and 

Scottish people to do the same. When they 

later immigrated to America however, they 

realized the native pumpkins there had a 

more ideal surface for carving. 

Nelly Landry 

& Sandra Fortin 

I don’t get all 

shook up. 

Patty Theberge 

& Jackie King 

RoySnow.com 

207.782.3734 

Serving Maine since 1947 

11 Library Ave. 

Auburn 



I’m not an early bird, or a night owl. I’m more of an exhausted pigeon.

Be decisive. Right or wrong, the road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision. 

DON’T KNOW 

WHAT TO DO 

NEXT? WE DO. ® 

For any disaster, 

call ServiceMaster! 

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Auburn 

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Interactive metronome for 

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Treats concerns such as ADHD, 

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Physical Therapy 

• Myofascial Release • Back Pain 

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• Post Surgery Rehab 

• Vestiular Rehab 

• Vision Therapy 

Occupational Therapy 

• Stroke • Vision Therapy 

• Re-gaining 

• Emotional Regulation 

Independence in 

• Handwriting 

• Self Care Tasks 

• Developmental Delay 

• Primitive Reflex Integration 

Speech Therapy 

• Feeding/ Dyshpgia • Stuttering 

• Early intervention 

• Stroke 

• Speech Delays 

• Communication 

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Devices 

Care & Comfort in your own home or our office. 

It turns out the answer to my problems wasn’t at the bottom of this pint of ice cream, 

but the important thing is that I tried. 



DON'T GET SPOOKED! 

Tell our advertisers you saw them in the Digest! 

IT'S NOT A TRICK! OUR NEW ADDRESS IS 2 GREAT FALLS PLAZA, SUITE 1B, AUBURN | 207.783.7039 | UNCLEANDYS.COM 

Check out just one of my reviews... 

Looking to Buy or Sell? I look forward to working with you NEXT. 

“CHOOSING CINDY AS OUR REALTOR WAS THE BEST DECISION WE EVER MADE! 

Being two first time buyers in the real estate world, we wanted someone we could fully trust to 

guide us through the process. When I say we had a lot of questions; we had A LOT of questions! 

It didn’t matter if we called, texted, or emailed Cindy, she always got back to us in no time 

and never made us feel like any question was a bad one. We are BEYOND grateful for Cindy 

helping us achieve such a major milestone in our lives.” — Blayke Morin, August 2023 

RMS has joined the Guild Mortgage family 

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Debbie Bodwell 

NMLS# 280336 

Debbie.Bodwell@guildmortgage.net 

181 Center Street, Auburn, ME 04210 

207.754.3962 

I am authorized to do business in the states of Maine, North Carolina, South Carolina and Virginia. (www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org) 

Guild Mortgage Company; NMLS #3274; Equal Housing Opportunity; www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org. 

Your local guide to... well, just about anything! 


UNCLEANDYS.COM 

32 October 2023

Uncle Andy's Digest - October 2023

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