The Gift of Introversion

I never would’ve met some of my closest friends if I chose to stay home and read all the
time. Those relationships I have now were worth the anxiety and apprehension I felt
upon venturing out of my comfort zone to establish them. Unfortunately, creating those
kinds of relationships is rare, because socializing doesn’t always have tangible rewards.
Sometimes I leave an event feeling drained and wishing that I had never left the house.
Other times, I might feel that it went okay, but I know the surface-level conversations I
held all evening probably won’t lead to any life-altering friendships. But that’s okay,
because not every conversation or every evening out has to be life-altering.
For an Introvert, Socializing Isn’t Just a Way to Pass the Time
As an introvert, it’s my natural tendency to always want every interaction to be about
establishing a deep connection, but that can put too much pressure on the average
casual conversation. Sometimes it’s just about staying in practice with my (albeit limited)
people skills until the day when someone suddenly wants to talk about their dreams and
goals and all the things that makes them tick. It’s impossible to know where a
conversation will lead unless you try.
I’m aware of just how ridiculous my socializing philosophy will sound to extroverts. To
them, socializing itself is the end goal. My extroverted friends are always looking for
something to do on the weekend, during the holidays, and even on work nights. They
pursue socializing for the in-the-moment excitement that it brings. For me, attempting to
socialize is a long-term goal, one that I carefully craft and balance so I don’t get
mentally or emotionally overwhelmed.
“Going out” is rarely exciting for me in the moment. But I always have hope when
attending a party or trying a new networking event that I will make a friend who is also
dying for a quiet cup of coffee while chatting about life, or who wants to take a trip to the
beach just so we can lay side by side and read in complete silence.
When I socialize, I’m not looking for a way to just pass the time. I already have a full list
of hobbies and interests and not enough hours in the day to enjoy them all. But I am
always looking for a new person with whom I can share my passions and my world.
Sometimes meeting that one new person can be worth the agony of socializing. I like to
think I’m the kind of person worth socializing for, and I know I’m not the only one of my
kind.
So, my fellow introverts, please occasionally put down your books, go out, and search
for the people who make socializing worth it — because I’m out there looking for you.
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