The Gift of Introversion

I love this advice. But I want to answer one more question you
might be wondering about: What if your child is subject to
harsh, really harsh, experiences outside your control?
I asked this question of Jay Belsky, a leading proponent of
orchid theory, a psychology professor, and child care expert at
the University of London. Using divorce as an example, he told
me that even orchid children can withstand some adversity if
it’s managed properly. Orchid kids will be disrupted more than
others by divorce, he told me. “If the parents squabble a lot,
and put their kid in the middle, then watch out — this is the
kid who will succumb.” But if the divorcing parents get along,
if they provide their child with the other psychological
nutrients he needs, then even an orchid child can do just fine.
Indeed, the parents of high-reactive children are very lucky,
Belsky told me. “The time and effort they invest will actually
make a difference. Instead of seeing these kids as vulnerable to
adversity, parents should see them as malleable — for worse,
but also for better.”
THE POWER OF INTROVERTS | 31