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6<br />
Heather’s Tips - Holding Cards<br />
By: Heather Latimer / Helpful Hints<br />
Charlene Mintz is the owner of the Spring<br />
Mountain Bridge Club where men and<br />
women of all ages enjoy her lessons and almost<br />
daily sessions of playing bridge. Alas! The older<br />
ones were often afflicted with excruciating hand cramps due to holding<br />
cards for an extended time.<br />
That’s until Charlene’s doctor told her about Glaceau Smartwater.<br />
Now she drinks a half bottle and her members are benefiting from the<br />
recommendation.<br />
Heather, who sits North where she’s responsible for keeping the<br />
official score as well as playing the cards, used to suffer agonizing<br />
hand spasms. She had trouble holding and pulling cards and, much<br />
to the chagrin of the winners, her writing of scores was occasionally<br />
indecipherable.<br />
A tennis champion, whose profile appeared in a magazine, confessed<br />
that dill pickles saved him from hand cramps. Since reading that,<br />
Heather has been swallowing a tablespoonful before attending games<br />
and happily playing for 3 hours without distress.<br />
Other players crippled with arthritis kept dropping cards and<br />
interrupting the game whilst diving under the table to retrieve them.<br />
Charlene remedied that by lending sufferers a small fan-shaped cardholder<br />
that rests on the table and shields the cards from opponents.<br />
The player merely plucks each card from the card-holder and sets<br />
it down on the table. Now several players carry their own device and<br />
use it for home games too. Item #8409 from Barclay Bridge Supplies,<br />
800/274-2221.<br />
Heather Latimer is a nationally recognized specialist in making<br />
difficult subjects easy and author of 17 books. Her biography,<br />
and latest book “How to Overcome Once-Easy Tasks That Are Now<br />
Pains in The You-Know-What,” are accessible on www.amazon.<br />
com/heatherlatimer/howtoovercomeonceeasy.<br />
September 20<strong>18</strong><br />
For Football Fans<br />
By: Bill Caserta / Bill’s Blurbs<br />
Are you ready for some football? In honor of<br />
Publisher Dan’s long time devotion to his<br />
New York Giants (but for other football fans, just<br />
fill in your favorite team) I ask you to consider<br />
the following:<br />
Q: What do the NY Giants and possums have in common?<br />
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!<br />
Q: How do you keep the NY Giants out of your front yard?<br />
A: Put up goal posts.<br />
Q: What’s the difference between the NY Giants and a dollar bill?<br />
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.<br />
Q: How many NY Giants does it take to change a tire?<br />
A: One, unless it’s a blowout. In which case, they all show up<br />
Q: What do the NY Giants and Billy Graham have in common?<br />
A: They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus<br />
Christ!”<br />
Q: What is the difference between a NY Giants’ fan and a baby?<br />
A: The baby will stop whining after a while.<br />
And my favorite: All of the Seven Dwarfs were marching through<br />
the forest one day when they fell in a deep, dark ravine. Snow White,<br />
who was following behind, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and<br />
called out to her fallen comrades.<br />
From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, “The NY Giants<br />
are Super Bowl contenders.” Snow White thought to herself, “Thank<br />
God! At least Dopey survived!”<br />
Bill Caserta is the Project Director for The <strong>Vegas</strong> <strong>Voice</strong> and<br />
has a very “unique” sense of humor. He welcomes all funny<br />
submissions at: bill@thevegasvoice.net.<br />
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