September 2018

intend to leave your sister out, and simply bringing up the problem
to them shows that you are being mature about handling this
situation. I hope this helps you.
An understanding friend
Dear my sister’s best friend,
It is understandable that you would feel uncomfortable in the
presence of a friend who doesn’t acknowledge another friend,
whether that person is your sister or anyone else.
If a close friend of yours is ever doing or saying something that
makes you feel uncomfortable, it is your obligation in honor of your
friend, yourself, and your friendship to discuss your feelings. True
friendships are a valued asset in life so it is important for you to
nourish trust with respectful honesty. One aspect of the situation,
which might also need discussion, is your mission to help your
sister feel more comfortable socially in general. That sounds like
a conflicting role for you to be in while enjoying a relaxing time
with true friends. Being shy is often a personality description
and not necessarily a problem to be solved. Therefore, I suggest
that you focus the conversation on owning your feelings about
your friend’s comments and behavior without assigning those
feelings and opinions to your sister. Your friend’s demonstration of
kindness and patience while respectfully engaging in a productive
conversation about your feelings will inform you if this friend is
worthy of your friendship.
Dr. Renae
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