V18 N34

More documents

Recommendations

Info

Cape May Wicker Two locations open seven days 9 to 5 1930 Route 9, Clermont | 609-624-3031 203 Sunset Boulevard, West Cape May | 609- 884-1849 November Deal to Remember Surfboard Bars and Tables 15% OFF! Original prices: coffee tables $349, 4’ bar & 2 stools $499, 6’ bar & 4 stools $999, 8’ longboard bar & 6 stools $1,499. Cape May Wicker is open 7 days, 9 to 5. Sale ends November 31. Page 34 EXIT ZERO November 19, 2020 capemaywicker.net
The Old Fogey Ah, those good old Cape May days... by Jackson D’Catur Ihave a credit rating! I have resisted such mundane evil for decades, much in the way that I refuse to have a social security number or a government chip implanted in my head (oh you may scoff, but then THEY have made you scoff. The same THEY that use everyday devices such as those ATM machines to make you stare at the screen unblinking for a totally unreasonably long time, in order for subliminal patterns to hypnotize you and make you more malleable. Otherwise you would realize that you TOO have chips in your heads. Oh yes. But don’t get me started). Of course, a credit rating has never been necessary to one who purchases using salvaged pirate gold and wins properties on the turn of a card (most often Cribbage but sometimes Snap). And in fact here in Cape May we had our very own form of credit rating while the rest of America was a howling wilderness. It was based on what people thought of you from shaking your hand, looking you in the eye and seeing if you sweated. It was a rough kind of rating, for sure, but never proved us wrong. Mind you, a “credit refused” decision then meant a blow to the side of the head from whoever found you wanting, and could end up in your credit rating and yourself dropping six feet off the Concrete Ship into the cold waters. So what changed my mind? Well, it was my desire to receive the proffered Cape May Gourmands Club card that came in the mail. All one had to do was post it back and one would receive a shimmering black card one inch thick, which would grant the holder the right to dine for free for exactly 30 seconds at any of Cape May’s eateries. Now, I can down a prodigious and surprising amount of food in half a minute, I can tell you. But when I had my staff read the small print, it demanded an “excellent” credit score. I had my people investigate (Kitchener used one of those damnable laptop computing machines) and it seemed that I had credit as “slim” as my hips (which are thin: that is the joke). Well, that was not acceptable, so I instructed the team to ix it (“make it so” I am fond of saying, quoting that bald sex god Picard from the television). I know not what they did but a scarce few months later I have received my gleaming Gourmand card. Oddly, the basement seems to be overf lowing with brown boxes with the word “Amazon” on the side. One looks to be the same size and shape as a motorboat, and I swear several growled as I walked past. November 19, 2020 EXIT ZERO Page 35
Page 1 and 2: EXIT ZERO cape may’s peppy period
Page 3 and 4: 11/7: Around 12pm On The Promenade
Page 5 and 6: A Cape May Classic SINCE 1926 OPEN
Page 7 and 8: The Best Holiday Dinner begins at G
Page 9 and 10: Harbor View RESTAURANT, MARINA & BA
Page 11 and 12: 11/7: The House That Beer Built At
Page 13 and 14: Romantic Seaside Getaway 9 Luxr Gue
Page 19 and 20: Undertow Terry O’Brien’s legend
Page 21 and 22: November 19, 2020 EXIT ZERO Page 21
Page 23 and 24: unch sat & sun 11-2 outdoor dining
Page 25 and 26: 11/7: Christmas Bazaar At Cape May
Page 27 and 28: November 19, 2020 EXIT ZERO Page 27
Page 29 and 30: The Theater Column By arts columnis
Page 33: A CAPE MAY TRADITION Every batch of
Page 39 and 40: The Activity Column Catherine Dugan
Page 41 and 42: 11/6: Around 7pm At Lucky Bones Pen
Page 43 and 44: 11/6: Around 7pm At Lucky Bones PHO
Page 45 and 46: 11/6: Around 7pm At Lucky Bones Pat
Page 47 and 48: This was not the column I intended
Page 49 and 50: 11/6: Around 7pm At Lucky Bones Enj
Page 51 and 52: The Answer Lady invites inquiries f
Page 53 and 54: Enrich Your Life... Adopt An Animal
Page 55 and 56: Enrich Your Life... Adopt An Animal
Page 57 and 58: PROPERTY PAGES 1409 NEW JERSEY AVEN
Page 59 and 60: 11/6: Community Support At Coast Gu
Page 61 and 62: HOLLY STEGER Realtor Sales Associat
Page 65 and 66: 512 Washington Mall, Cape May • 6
Page 69 and 70: 1002 Bas Bas Lane, Cold Spring 3 Be

V18 N34

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?