UAD June Digest 2021

UNCLE

ANDY’S

DIGEST SINCE

DAILY, WEEKLY, & MONTHLY

RENTALS AVAILABLE!

For details, call Ryan Kennard

207-346-0279

Celebrating

Years

JUNE

2021

1996

GET REAL. GET HYUNDAI.

Whited Equipment Co. is your

New Factory Authorized Hyundai

Construction Equipment dealer

for Central & Southern Maine.

New & used available!

Sales • Lease • Rentals

Parts & Service

whitedhyundai.com • (855) 882-4010 • Come see us at 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn

207-782-7113

Get Your FREE

Quote Today!

31 Blake Street, Lewiston • armandsautobody.com

Topsham Tractor & Equipment

403 Lewiston Road, Topsham

Open: 8-5 Mon-Fri / 8-2 Sat 207-209-2000

Uncle Andy’s Digest

...with

Jimbo

June 2021 UncleAndys.com 1

Construction materials are so expensive right now that my neighbor just sold his house for parts.

www.deepcleanjs.com

deepcleanjs@yahoo.com

10% REFERRAL BONUS

Know someone searching for a new cleaning company?

Mention this ad to them and we will pay you 10% of their full invoice when they hire us!

PROFESSIONALISM | QUALITY | RELIABILITY

Excellence in commercial cleaning &

janitorial services when you choose

Deep Clean Janitorial Services

207-712-2765

Commercial/Office

Construction Sites

Apartment Turnovers

Floors/Tile/Carpets

COVID-19:

Disinfecting services to help keep your

employees and customers safe.

Summer is here!

We are hauling

pool water!

Pool Builders

OF MAINE

CALL US FOR ALL YOUR POOL NEEDS!

10 Business Parkway Turner • 207-225-2013

I’d tell dad jokes, but I don’t have any kids. I’m a faux pa.

A lion would never play golf, but a Tiger Wood.

MODERN WOODMEN

OF AMERICA

JUNE

ACTIVITIES

Friday, June 4th

Green Ladle Food Truck

11:00-12:30pm

156 East Ave Lewiston

M: $6.50 G: $7.50

Purchase Tickets on:

6-02-2021 (9-11am) or

6-03-2021 (9-11am)

Thursday, June 10th

Val’s Drive-In

4:00-7:00pm

925 Sabattus Street Lewiston

M: $5.00 G: $6.00

Purchase Tickets on

6-02-2021 (9-11am),

6-03-2021 (9-11am), or

6-09-2021 (9-11am & 1-3pm)

Tuesday, June 15th

Sam’s @ Marketplace Mall

12:00-7:00pm

675 Main Street Lewiston

M: $4.50 G: $5.50


6-09-2021 (9-11am & 1-3pm)

Wednesday, June 16th

Dairy Joy

3:00-7:00pm

Auburn & Lewiston Locations

M & G: $1.00


6-09-2021 (9-11am & 1-3pm)

Tuesday, June 29th

Fielder’s Choice (Auburn

Location Only)

4:00-7:00pm

680 Minot Ave Auburn

M: $2.50 G: $3.00


6-23-2021 (9-11am & 1-3pm)

Maine State Park 1-Day

Vehicle Pass

M Only: $5.00

Purchase tickets on any

Wednesday in June from

9:00-10:00am

York’s Wild Animal Kingdom

(Zoo Only)

M: $8.00

Purchase tickets on any

Wednesday in June from

9:00-10:00am

Tickets must be purchased

at the MWA District Office at

184 Webster Street Lewiston

on dates/times listed for each

activity. Due to COVID-19

Restrictions, all activities are

Take-Out.

I just joined the Coast Guard. Seems like an easy gig...

who’s going to try to steal the coast?


...with

Jimbo



is published by the first

Friday of every month by

Maine Mountain Ocean

Group, Inc. with its world

headquarters located at

9 Grove Street, Auburn,

Maine, USA.

Published and distributed

since 1996 throughout

Central Maine and mailed to

subscribers all over the Free

World. Subscriptions are

$36/year.

UncleAndysDigest.com

Office: 207-783-7039

UAD Super Heroes

CAPTAIN

JIMBO

The neighbor asked if he could use our lawnmower.

I said he could as long as he didn’t take it out of our yard.

SMILE AGAIN DENTURES

Call 514-0660 for a Free Consultation!

All work

done on-site.

Repairs usually

same day

service!

801 Webster Street, Lewiston

Smile in

Comfort

WONDER

WOMAN

TYLA

Uncle Andy’s Digest ...with

4

SUPERGIRL

KATIE

BATGIRL

STEPHANIE

IRONSIDES

STEVE

While Uncle Andy’s Digest tries

very hard to ensure the accuracy

of the information in our clients’

advertisements and our publication

in general, we are not responsible

for vendor availability, typographical

errors, technical inaccuracies, product

pricing errors, or omissions.

Jimbo

June 2021 783-7039

Joe & Mike

Adkins

Licensed

Denturists

Call us today for:

• Full Dentures

• Immediate Dentures

• Partial Dentures

• Rebases • Relines • Repairs

Like Our Name Implies,

We’ll Make You

SMILE

AGAIN

smileagaindentures@gmail.com SmileAgainDentures.com

One of the most amazing displays of democracy in history is that one thousand islands

managed to come together and agree on a single salad dressing.

The employee shortage is so bad that long haired freaky people can now apply.

Great Rates • Great Service • Great Staff

Move your

loan to us

for great rates!

Out ‘n About at

Great Clips in

Auburn

for their grand opening

What a

great grand

opening we had!

We’re excited to

open the newest

Great Clips location

right on Center

Street in

Auburn!

Great Falls

Federal Credit Union

www.GreatFallsfcu.com

34 Bates St, Lewiston • 782-7192

760 Minot Ave., Auburn • 753-0500

Bruce Lee had a vegan brother named Broco.

MONDAY

Ham Italians

Sm $2.29 Lg. $3.99

WEDNESDAY

Chicken Salad

Sm $2.99 Lg. $4.99

FRIDAY

Tuna Italian

Sm $2.99 Lg. $4.99

SUNDAY

$2.00 OFF

Any large pizza

MAIN STREET MARKET

2 Main Street, Sabattus • 207-375-8502

Hours: 6am - 8pm • Seven days a week

TUESDAY

Small 1-topping Pizza

10" pizza $4.99

THURSDAY

Bowl of Chili

$4.49

B.L.T.

Sm. $2.99

Lg. $4.99

SATURDAY

Baked Beans

Pint $3.99 Quart $4.99

Full beans ’n franks meal $9.49

Breakfast Sandwiches $2.29

Hash browns 2/$1.59

Coffee all sizes $0.99

We accept cash, checks,

major credit/debit cards, & EBT

“Daddy, I want Mommy,” is the kid equivalent of asking to speak to a manager.

Hannah Renyi

Co-owner

I love all hair

unconditionally.

Haylee Jamison

Dane Manrriquez


...with

Jimbo


Love is grand. Divorce is 20 grand.

Out ‘n About at Topsham Tractor

& Equipment for their grand opening

Give your home the protection it deserves.

Your home is where you make some of your

best memories, and that’s worth protecting.

LET’S TALK TODAY.

I support

circular farming.

I guess you could call

me protractor.

Tom Martell & Kevin Chamberlain

Out ‘n About at

Great Clips in Auburn


A new

hairstyle is your

greatest

accessory!

Whenever there’s an outage, your KOHLER generator keeps

your internet on, your fridge cold and your family protected.

• Generator Sales and Installations

Brittany Telow

• Residential and Small Commercial

Electrical Service

Over 50 years of Trusted Professionalism

Amber Woodman

“MY GENERATOR IS MAGIC.

WE NEVER LOSE POWER.”

- ALEX L., KOHLER ® generator owner

1033 Sabattus Street, Lewiston

www.debloiselectric.com

207-783-6512


Jimbo

6 June 2021 783-7039

Guitar maker Gibson filed for bankruptcy. They are now making less Pauls.

You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on

your cake than friends at your birthday party.

Cosmetic

Surgery

Submitted by Tyla Davis

Jill, a middle-aged

woman, is recovering

from surgery following

a severe heart attack.

Suddenly, she has a

vision of God by her

bedside.

NEW UNITS, CLEAN & DRY!

Online Account

Management

A woman’s age is harder to get than the President’s phone number.

Hot Water Heater Need Replacing?

ACT NOW!

Efficiency Maine Rebate

is a limited time offer.

Don’t miss out!

Direct

replacement of

an existing

electric hot

water heater

Final Cost after

discounts and rebates:

$ 1,224 .00*

*Plus permit costs

Online

Rental

GATED ACCESS

Coming Soon!

Well Lit Facility

w/Security Cameras

CALL MIKE TODAY!

207-754-4556

Plumbing & Heating • Oil • Gas

Residential • Commercial / 24 hour Emergency Service

Spoiler alert! The milk has been in the refrigerator for three weeks.

Mike@upwi.net

“Will I die God?” she

asks.

To which God responds,

“No my dear,

you still have 30 more

years to live yet.”

Jill decides that if she

has 30 more years, she

might as well make the

most of her time.

So she gets liposuction,

a tummy tuck, a

hair transplant, and

collagen injections in

her lips. When it’s all

finished and the bruises

have healed she looks

absolutely stunning and

10 years younger.

The day she’s discharged

from the

hospital, she leaves

the hospital with a real

spring in her step. Feeling

very good about her

makeover, Jill steps into

the street and is immediately

knocked down

by a car and killed.

As she steps through

the Pearly Gates, Jill

sees God and decides

to complain. “You said

I had 30 more years to

live,” she says to God.

“Well that’s true,” says

God.

“So what happened?”

Jill asks.

To which God shrugs

and says, “I’m sorry but

I didn’t recognize you.”


...with

Jimbo


Out ‘n About at

Topsham Tractor

& Equipment


We are

excited to

welcome you into

our 5,000 sq. foot

showroom showcasing

a 66-foot Echo display,

the largest in the state.

We proudly carry a full

line of Kioti tractors and

eXmark mowers. We

also carry Billy Goat,

Ferris, Simplicity,

Briggs & Stratton,

and Bearcat

products.

When I was a child, all the adults had to do to keep me from knowing things

was to spell the words out. Now, adults just have to write in cursive.

THE AMERICAN LEGION

FAMILY

We Are Standing Strong!

Our Executive Officers, staff, and

volunteers will take necessary precautions to

ensure safety for all. Until a decision has been

made, we ask that you continue to wear your

mask whenever possible. We will continue to

practice social distancing in the Post.

Keep checking for possible changes

coming in June.

We ask that you follow our safety guidelines

as well. MASKS ARE REQUIRED -

PLEASE WEAR YOUR MASKS WHENEVER

POSSIBLE. PRACTICE SOCIAL DISTANCING.

For Veteran or Community services, call

207-782-1118 or 207-873-3229

Hall Rentals Available

Call for more information

207-782-1118

71 South Main St, Auburn • 207-782-1118

Members & Guests Welcome

Hours: Monday through Thursday: 12p-6p

Friday & Saturday: 12p-7p • Sunday: 11a-6p

Ask about our drink specials!

SATURDAY, JUNE 5 TH

NEW AUBURN VILLAGE BUSINESS BLOCK PARTY 1-5PM

Sausage sandwiches & lime rickeys.

JUNE 11 TH -13 TH

THE AMERICAN LEGION DEPARTMENT OF MAINE

ANNUAL STATE CONVENTION

Jeff’s Catering & Event Center • Brewer, Maine

MONTHLY MEETING

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 16 TH

EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE 6:30PM

GENERAL MEETING, 7PM

FRIDAY, JUNE 18 TH : RED SHIRT FRIDAY

WEAR YOUR R.E.D. SHIRT & SURPRISE!

SEE YOU AT THE POST!

SUNDAY, JUNE 20 TH :

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY

IMPORTANT NOTICE: Due to COVID-19/Coronavirus, all activities

are subject to change. Follow us on Facebook page for updates.

Bloody Mary Sundays by Kevin from 11a-6p!

My previous job was working in a bank, but I lost interest.

John Randolph

General Manager

Out ‘n About in the Digest from the 2003 archives

Reminiscing through our 25 years!

We will

also host a full

service and parts

department for all

small engine and

tractor repair

and service.

Kevin Lorette


Jimbo

8 June 2021 783-7039

Jimmy Simones

Simones Hot Dogs

Janet Landry Desmarais

Front Porch Bakery

Roger Philippon

Central Maine Community College

Not saying I live in a rough area, but I just bought an advent calendar

and half the windows are boarded up!

HAS NEW PIZZAS!

Buffalo Chicken

Mac ’n Cheese Pizza

Buffalo sauce, mac ’n cheese,

pizza cheese, & crispy chicken

Tater Skin

Supreme Pizza

(Pictured Here)

Garlic butter, tater tots, pizza cheese,

jalapeños, & bacon

Your one-stop shop for:

• Amazing food (eat in or take out)

• Agency liquor store with beer cave

• Lottery tickets

• Redemption center

Full serve catering at the

location of your choice.

Book Your

2021 & 2022

Events Now!

207-345-9009

DadsPlaceCatering.com

207-345-5551

23 Pleasant Street, Mechanic Falls • www.dadsplacemaine.com

Catering

Dad’s Redemption Center

6¢ a

bottle for

Make-A-Wish

Donations!

Redemption Center is

directly behind Dad’s Place

DONATE YOUR

BOTTLES TO

Help grant a wish to a local child

battling a critical illness

See our redemption ad on page 45.

Out ‘n About at

Topsham Tractor

& Equipment


I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year,

but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

We’re

super excited

about being the

radio sponsors for

this year’s

Summer Block Party

again! Let’s raise

some money and

grant some

wishes!

Just good cookin’ and plenty of it!

Serving Breakfast All Day!

87 Mill Street, New Auburn • 753-0171

Amy Ryan &

Andy Austin

99.9 The Wolf

Chicken Cordon Bleu Melt

Deep fried chicken patty topped

w/warm sliced ham, melted swiss,

& American cheese on a toasted

hamburger roll. Comes with lettuce,

tomato, and pickle on side.

Sunday, June 20th

RollysNewAuburn.com

CLOSED MONDAY,

Tues – Sat 6 am – 2 pm,

Sunday 7 am – noon

I just fixed my flat tire with super glue. Now I’m stuck in traffic.

Gerry Letourneau

Kioti Field Service Manager

Did you

hear about the

magic tractor?

It turned into

a field.

Out ‘n About at St. Dominic Academy in Lewiston

Mason

Reichel

Mason is a 4th grader at St.

Dominic Academy in Lewiston.

His project, The ABC’s of Maine,

required him to make a booklet

with something pertaining to

Maine starting with every letter of

the alphabet.

Mason used Uncle Andy’s Digest

for the letter U!

Tony Towns


Jimbo

10 June 2021 783-7039

Fingers crossed for an

A+ on this, Mason!

Got fired from my accountants job today for no reason. Started there age 20,

I’m now 30. What a waste of 15 years!

MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSE

EVERY MONDAY

20% OFF

All Burgers

30% OFF

All Drafts

EVERY TUESDAY

75¢

WINGS

SAVE THE DATE!

SATURDAY, AUG. 14 TH

hosted by

Dad deserves it!

Treat Dad at Mac’s this Father’s Day!

We Cater!

Mac’s

offers the best

catering service

around!

Cheers to all the

awesome dads out

there!!

Weddings, Banquets, Birthdays,

Corporate Parties, and more!

No event too BIG or SMALL...

We cater it ALL!

1052 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 783-6885 • MacsGrill.com

Out ‘n About at

Topsham Tractor

& Equipment


Has anyone lost a large roll of hundred dollar bills held together by rubber band?

I found the rubber band today.

Fishermen’s Net

Bringing the Ocean to your Table

Take out, Dine in, Live Lobster,

& Homemade Goods

Sondra Thibodeau

Tractors

and equipment

weren’t all that was

happening at this

open house. I got to

demonstrate some

cool carving

skills too!

207-657-3474

59c Portland Road, Gray

Hours:

Mon. 11a-5p

Tues.-Thurs. 10a-6p

Fri.-Sat. 10a-7p

Sun. 10a-5p

Out ‘n About at Topsham Tractor & Equipment for their Grand Opening

Jay Bluck

Sub Zero Ice Carvings

The Topsham Tractor & Equipment and Manchester Motors Team

And we

got to feed all

the guests of the

grand opening!

Sammy Dogs was

a hit!

CRAFT BEER, HARD CIDER & SELTZER

Featuring our flagships & rotating taps

INDOOR & OUtdoor seating

19 Portland Rd Gray, ME

Howlers & Growlers

Paninis, Wraps & Apps

Mary & Brandon

Wilkins

Sammy Dogs

WWW.BIRCHWOODBREWING.COM

150 members

Join our Mug Club over


Jimbo

12 June 2021 783-7039

I was wondering why the music was coming from my printer.

Apparently the paper was jamming.

Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office every day, I am no longer a slacker.

GOOD is

a GOOD brand

is

new a brand salon.

new salon.

Walking

the Line

Submitted by Jimbo

After a recent college

basketball game, the

coach spotted a cell

phone lying on the

floor. He picked it up

and handed it to one

of the referees, saying,

“Here’s your phone.”

“What makes you

think its mine?” the ref

asked.

NOW

OPEN

GRAND

OPENING GRAND

OPENING

GRAND

OPENING

GREAT is

GREAT one right is

one near right

you.

near you.

“Easy,” the coach

replied. “It says you

missed 13 calls!”

An Earache

Timeline


The following is a

timeline of the medical

protocols for an

earache.

2000 B.C. - “Here, eat

this root.”

Now

Now OpenAuburn Great Clips

Open

Great Clips

410 Center 410 Now

Street, Center Auburn, Street,

Great ME Auburn, (Next Clips To ME

410 Center Street,

Chipotle)

Open

Auburn, ME • (Next To Chipotle)

410 Center Street,

(Next

Auburn, 207.221.5626 To Chipotle)

207.221.5626 ME • (Next To Chipotle)

M-F 8:30-7 207-221-5626

Sat 8:30-5 Sun 9-4

M-F 8:30-7 207.221.5626

• Sat 8:30-5 • Sun 9-4

M-F 8:30-7 • Sat 8:30-5 • Sun • Sun 9-4 9-4

ANY HAIRCUT

ANY HAIRCUT

ANY HAIRCUT

$ 4 99

OFFER EXPIRES: 05/28/2021



6/30/21

greatclips.com | jobs.greatclips.com | greatclipsfranchise.com



Not valid with any other offers. Limit one

Not coupon valid per with customer. any other No offers. copies. Limit Taxes one

coupon may apply. per Valid customer. at Auburn No copies. Great Taxes Clips.

Not valid with any other offers. Limit one

may apply. Valid at Auburn Great Clips.

coupon per customer. No copies. Taxes

may apply. Valid at Auburn Great Clips.

F2222WXL

F2222WXL

F2222WXL

1000 B.C. - “That root

is heathen, say this

prayer.”

1850 A.D. - “That

prayer is superstition,

drink this potion.”

1940 A.D. - “That

potion is snake oil,

swallow this pill.”

1985 A.D. - “That pill

is ineffective, take this

antibiotic.”

2000 A.D. - “That

antibiotic isn’t 100%

natural. Here, eat this

root!”

5.5x8.75_Auburn Great Clips_33176-001_(9036).indd 1

Do you blow on your food when it’s hot or do you just

hasafashafsas until you can chew it?

5/17/21 10:52 AM


...with

Jimbo


Out ‘n About at

Topsham Tractor

& Equipment


Did you

hear about the

farmer that kept

putting spools

of thread in his

tractor’s gas tank?

He heard it was

a sowing

machine.

Bruce Rinkenberger

& Tim Phillips

Kioti

Glad to

have Manchester

Motors and Topsham

Tractor & Equipment

partner together to

make sure that customers

the best options

for all their equipment

needs.

I don’t know why my fishing buddy is afraid of viruses. That guy can’t catch anything.

Try our Soup & Sandwich Combo!

1

/2 BLT and French Onion Soup!

207-782-2135 Auburn Mall

Mon. - Wed., 11am - 7pm • Thurs. - Sat. 11am - 8pm • Sun. 11am - 5pm

DAILY SPECIALS

MONDAY

75¢ Wings

Cheeseburger Special $6.99

Cincinnati Spaghetti $7.99

25oz domestic drafts $4.00

TUESDAY

75¢ Wings

Fried Pickle Basket $4.99

Thatcher’s Burger $7.99

25oz domestic drafts $4.00

WEDNESDAY

3 Beef Tacos $5.99

Thatcher’s Burrito $7.99

Well Margaritas $5 • Coronas $3

THURSDAY

Stuffed Peppers $7.99

Buffalo Chicken Salad $11.99

All Microbrews $4.00

FRIDAY

Clam Cake Basket $6.99

Fish & Chips $11.99

Teriyaki Tips w/mashed $14.99

SATURDAY

Fried Scallops $14.99

2 Hot Dogs w/fries $6.99

Miller Lite Bottles $2.50

SUNDAY

12" Cheese Pizza $6.99

Bloody Mary’s $6

Domestic Light/Lite Drafts $2.50

For dinner tonight I’m making Himalayan rabbit stew. I found himalayan in the road.

Out ‘n About in the Digest from the 2003 archives

Reminiscing through our 25 years!

Mike Saucier

Owner

Ben Kubicki

Manchester Motors

Dee Chapman

All About U Salon

Rita Fournier

Rolly’s Diner

George Greenwood

Keller Williams Realty


Jimbo

14 June 2021 783-7039

Got up this morning and ran around the block five times.

I got tired, so I picked up the block and put it back in the toy box.

I asked my gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits.

He asked how flexible I was. I told him I can’t make Tuesdays.

PROTECT Your Business.

PROTECT Yourself.

We are Maine’s largest

resource for background

searches

• REGISTERED ANGUS

• NATURAL ANGUS BEEF

• MEAT PACKAGES

• GIFT CERTIFICATES

207-783-0000783-0000

corporateintelligenceinc.comtelligenceinc.com

Roebucks Angus

Tell us you saw us in

Uncle Andy’s!

Visit, call, or text us

We Always Have

Specials!

BURGER • STEAKS • ROASTS

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

INSPECTED

jay - 207.754.1558

sue - 207.754.6558

783 UPPER ST. • TURNER

•Brewery•taproom•Café•Pinky D’s Food truck•Coffee by Design•

«

«

Fill up your growlers before heading upta’ camp!

«

«

Phone in your order ahead of time

«

Order online

Come in and have a pint while we

fill a growler fresh to order!

We do morning Growler fills too.

Sip a mocha, nosh a bagel,

fill your growler!

«

Courtemanche achieves

membership in

Million Dollar Round Table

Michael Courtemanche, a

representative for Modern

Woodmen of America, is

one of a small percentage

of financial representatives

worldwide to achieve

membership in the prestigious

Million Dollar Round

Table (MDRT) this year.

Founded in 1927, MDRT,

The Premier Association

of Financial Professionals

® , is a global, independent

association of more

than 49,000 of the world’s

leading life insurance

and financial services

professionals from more

than 500 companies

in 70 countries. MDRT

members demonstrate

exceptional professional

knowledge, strict ethical

conduct and outstanding

client service. MDRT

membership is recognized

internationally as the standard

of excellence in the

life insurance and financial

services business.

Founded in 1883, Modern

Woodmen of America is a

fraternal financial services

organization offering

financial products and

fraternal member benefits

to individuals and families

throughout the United

States.

1110 MINOT AVE., AUBURN

207.689.3030

/SIDEBYEACHBREWING

WWW.SIDEBYEACHBREWING.COM

* PLEASE VISIT OUR WEBSITE FOR SUMMER HOURS

The local office is located

at 184 Webster Street

in Lewiston.

See their ad on page 3.

Marine biologists are just like regular biologists,

except they have to do 20 push-ups after every experiment.


...with

Jimbo


Out ‘n About in

Pownal at Garden

Spot Farm

for Mother’s Day

Garden

Spot Farm was

the place to be

for Mother’s Day!

The weather was

gorgeous and so

many beautiful

flowers are in

bloom!

Marriage Tip: never go to bed angry.

Go to bed planning your opening rebuttal for the next morning.

Treat Dad to

Dinner this

Father’s Day!

Now taking reservations

The Village Inn

Now Hiring

ALL positions!

Come in and

apply today!

Open Wednesday - Sunday • villageinnmaine.com • 165 High Street, Auburn

Out ‘n About in Auburn with Big Brothers Big Sisters of

Mid-Maine & Elite Airways for the Give a Little Love Fundraiser

Elizabeth Papps

Rebecca Emery, Henry Morjikian, Jennifer Cartmell, Jamie Bell, & Jason Levesque


16

Abbigail Martin

I love

you a lily more

each day!

Awww!

Crystal & Sarah

Cloutier

Jimbo

June 2021 783-7039

John Blanchette

• RISK CONSULTING

• BUSINESS ANALYTICS

You just never

see it coming.

PROTECT YOUR COMPANY WITH THE

RIGHT PROTECTION AT THE RIGHT PRICE

Contact John today at 207-784-9358

• INDUSTRY EXPERTISE

• CLAIMS SUPPORT

www.nfp.com

Insurance services provided through NFP Property & Casualty Services, Inc.

(PC-19126-16) Copyright © 2016 NFP. All rights reserved.

• ENTERPRISE RISK MANAGEMENT

•ALTERNATIVE RISK TRANSFERS

I’m at that age where the heated seats in my car are more

about soothing back pain than warming me up.

2

The last airline I flew charged for everything. Except for the bad service. That was free.

In the Kitchen


AUTOS WANTED

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our Veterans. Fast - FREE pick up. 100% tax deductible.

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Wants to purchase minerals and other oil and gas interests.

Send details to P.O. Box 13557 Denver, CO 80201

Jimbo was working

with Girard one day

talking about remodeling

the kitchen in his

apartment building.

Jimbo was spending

a lot of time looking

through options for

the kitchen sinks.

“The sink is the single

most important thing

in the kitchen,” Jimbo

explained. “It washes

dishes, it provides

drinking water, it helps

to clean your produce

for meal prep, and so

many other uses!”

“That is true,” Girard

responded, “but you

are forgetting about

the countertop. It holds

everything in kitchen

together. You both prepare

and serve your

food ON the countertop.

Even your precious

sink would have

nowhere to fit if

it wasn’t for the

countertop! Your focus

here is completely

misguided.”

Jimbo was stunned.

He was not prepared

for a counterargument.

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Did you ever notice that the “&” symbol looks like a dog dragging its butt across the floor?


...with

Jimbo


Now

Hiring

Out ‘n About in

Pownal at Garden

Spot Farm

for Mother’s Day

What in

carnation are

you doing with that

camera, Steve?!

You jumped me a bit!

I almost wet

my plants!

CAREER OPPORTUNITIES

COME JOIN OUR TEAM!

You’ll be glad you did!

We’re hiring Direct Support Professionals

Dennis Peaslee

Owner

BBFs...

Best Buds

Forever!

To apply:

www.jfmhomes.org or 207-783-2726 x202

IS YOUR BUSINESS HIRING?

Advertise in our


section to get your job opening viewed by more

than 20,000 readers each month! Call today FMI!

207-783-7039

Sarah & Callie

Bourgoin

NOW HIRING! Apply

Within

Lydia Dahlgren

RoySnow.com

207.782.3734

Serving Maine since 1947

11 Library Ave.

Auburn


Jimbo

18 June 2021 783-7039

The other day I yelled into a colander and strained my voice.


Now

Hiring

Good Sports

Submitted by Steve Simard

Moved two miles

up the road!

10 Memorial Drive,

Lisbon

Little league baseball

was in full swing and

the local team was

playing their first home

game of the year.

At one point during the

game, the coach called

over one of his players.

Now

Hiring!

“Bobby, do you understand

what cooperation

is? What a team is?”

Bobby nodded in the

affirmative.

“Do you understand

that what matters is

whether we win together

as a team?”

Dental x-rays are just tooth pics.

WANTED: Year Round Flaggers

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and Oxford

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The little boy nodded

and said, “Yes, of

course, Coach.”

“So,” the coach continued,

“when a strike

is called, or you’re out

at first, you don’t argue

or curse or attack the

umpire. Do you understand

all that?”

Again the little boy

nodded.

“Good,” said the

coach. “Now go over

there and explain it to

your mother.”

Call Today 207-225-5627

www.atwork.com

No Experience Necessary! Train Today, Work Tomorrow!

Starting Pay: $15.00+/hr

My friends get mad when I steal their kitchen utensils. But it’s a whisk I’m willing to take.


...with

Jimbo


Now

Hiring

Out ‘n About in

Pownal at Garden

Spot Farm

for Mother’s Day

I took a

bunch of pictures

of the flowers

here. Now they can

photosynthesize!


NOW HIRING PRODUCTION WORKERS!

Call Today 207-225-5627

www.atwork.com

Variety of Shifts Available!

Starting Pay: Days $15.50, Nights $17.00

NASA scientists say it is possible to live on Mars. I tried it and now I’m diabetic.

Jo Brown

What

did the

Terminator

say in the

garden?

PRO-TECH REFRIGERATION IS GROWING!

We are seeking experienced service &

installation technicians to join our team!

PLEASE CALL 207-777-5600

Hosta

la vista,

baby!

Air Conditioning & Heating

Cali, Shaunna,

Charles, & Caleb

Stimpson


20

Jimbo

June 2021 783-7039

protechoffice11@yahoo.com

24 Hour

Service

Fully Insured

You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after a they win a game?

I found out that you shouldn’t do that in bowling.

Chocolate is vital to our survival.

The dinosaurs didn’t have chocolate and look what happened to them.

COME ON IN! WE’RE ANXIOUS

TO SEE YOUR SMILE!

Don’t feel like cooking? Give us a call!

Bug Off


One day a man came

home from work

and sat down in his

recliner to unwind with

a cup of tea and his

newspaper. He heard

a knock on the front

door so he got up to

see who it was.

June Special

SATELLITE - only $5!

The UFO’s

little brother

that’s BIG

on taste!

Salami, ham, pepperoni, provolone

cheese, American cheese... baked in the

oven. Then we add tomatoes, lettuce,

green peppers, pickles, and mayo.

Now

featuring

Pepsi

products!

On the other side of

the door was a huge

six-foot cockroach

standing there. Without

saying a word, the

cockroach punched

the man in the face,

elbowed him in the

back, kicked him in his

knees, and beat him

up pretty badly.

A few days later, after

the man had healed

from his beating, he

heard his doorbell

ring. He got up to answer

it and the same

cockroach was there,

and proceeded to beat

him up even worse

this time.

Grab some pastries, donuts, & other sweet treats for dessert!

The man called his

doctor to get checked

out. He told the doctor

the whole story of

both visits from the

cockroach.

Open daily 7am-7pm

740 Minot Avenue, Auburn

GEORGIO’S

Locally owned & operated

783-2981 • mygeorgiosme.com

Serving L/A & beyond since 1950!

“I’m sorry son, there’s

not much I can do for

you,” said the doctor.

“There’s just a nasty

bug going around right

now.”

What if dogs lick us because they know we have bones inside us and they want them.


...with

Jimbo


I just found out that my counter top is marble. I always took it for granite.

For any disaster,

call ServiceMaster!

Poland Spring Resort hires

Madison Parr

Poland Spring Resort

is proud to announce

Madison Parr as their

brand and marketing

strategist. Parr has a B.S.

in Marketing Management,

and a Masters Degree in

Business Administration.

Parr recently moved to

Maine from New York

City and will be largely

involved with the Poland

Spring Resort and the

surrounding properties.

With her background in

journalism and marketing,

Parr is an innovative thinker

with a strong emphasis

on brand communication

and designing strategies

to create purpose driven

brands.

She is also a children’s

book author and published

her first book in 2019

called Wonder Women.

Since 1794, Poland

Spring Resort guests

have enjoyed a home-like

atmosphere and friendly,

professional staff. Poland

Spring is on the National

Register of Historic Sites.

They are located at 640

Main Street in Poland

Spring.

DON’T KNOW

WHAT TO DO

NEXT? WE DO. ®

WATER FIRE MOLD

29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn

(800) 244-7630

(207) 539-4452

www.smfireandwater.com

www.smcarpetcleaning.com

My brother and I have decided to try home brewing beer. We’ve become bitter rivals.

Out ‘n About in Lewiston

Check out

my Mimi’s ad for

Simply Organized

Spaces in the

business spotlight

section! Mimi helps

me keep my room

neat and organized!

She can help you

with your whole

house!

Harper

Bilodeau

with her

favorite

magazine

See their ad on page 37.


Jimbo

22 June 2021 783-7039

Don’t let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

My dad told me that it was definitely worth it to get quality speakers.

That was some sound advice.

We’ve got you covered!

Think Summer!

Out ‘n About in

Pownal at Garden

Spot Farm

for Mother’s Day

Third time

is a charm!

Finally my name is

spelled right!

THE CHAMPOUX GROUP

CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS

I N S U R A N C E

...Your Security is Our Concern!

Locally Owned & Operated Since 1954

207-783-2246 • 150 East Ave. Lewiston • MaineInsuranceonline.com

Crystal Sirois

We are

working on perfecting

our garden

flower beds through a

process of trowel

and error.

When lazy people exercise they do diddly squats.

Soak up the Sunshine at Heidi’s!

Come enjoy a great meal on our Patio

Heidi’s Gift

Cards make a

perfect gift for

Father’s Day and

Graduation!

Jodie Dancsak &

Avery Coburn

I wasn’t

all that interested

in flowers, but I

planted a few seeds

and they grew

on me.

Hours: Monday 9a-4p, Tuesday-Saturday 9a-7p

Online ordering and curbside pickup available at Heidisbrooklyndelime.com

600 Turner St., Auburn • 784-3434 AND 415 Philbrook Ave. S. Portland • 773-4800

I got home to a note on the refrigerator saying, “This isn’t working. Goodbye.”

But I opened the fridge and it worked just fine.

Jonathan & Leslie

Davidson


...with

Jimbo


Out ‘n About in Auburn

with Big Brothers Big

Sisters of Mid-Maine

& Elite Airways

For the Give a Little Love

Fundraiser

What a

fantastic day!

We had five teams

trying to be the

fastest to pull a plane

15 feet. And

together, we raised

$4,362.90 for

Big Brothers

Big Sisters of

Mid-Maine!!

Ugh! Another wooden ball.

Would it kill the avocado makers to include a different toy occasionally?

We keep growing!

So...

Come visit us at our NEW home at 368 Minot Ave in Auburn!

We are excited to help

Sellers maximize their

home value!

Whether you’re looking to

buy, sell, or build a home,

our growing team works with

you every step of the way!

Jennifer Cartmell

Big Brothers Big Sisters

of Mid-Maine

Any one of our GROWING team is happy to help!

This was no

tiny plane either!

It was a 31,500

pound CRJ-200

jet!

Jon

Mercier

Mark

Turner

Toni

Ferraro

Brandon

Caruso

Deb

Morin

Linda

Dupuis

Regina

Ritchie

Dustin

Mallar

Zach

Lutick

Mason

Dupuis

Lindsay

Wright

368 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 207.333.6001 • mainesourcehomes.com


24

Rebecca Emery

Elite Airways

Jimbo

June 2021 783-7039

Maine Source Realty at your service!

If you’re 10% Polish, does that make you a tad pole?

Did you ever think that coffee was addicted to me too?

Hare-owing

Experience


Lilly and Todd had just

gone out to dinner and

were headed home

for the evening. In the

dark, the road was

tough to see.

All of a sudden, the car

hit something. Todd

and Lilly couldn’t see

what was in the road,

so they pulled over to

see what they bumped

into.

Lying in the road was a

rabbit. It was dead from

the impact of the car.

“Oh no!” Todd exclaimed.

“That poor

little guy didn’t have a

chance.”

Don’t be mean to nuclear reactors, they might have a meltdown.



Lilly, always the quick

thinker, said, “Wait

here. I have an idea.”

Lilly retreated to the

car to grab something

out of the back seat.

She walked over to the

rabbit and sprayed it

with the can she had

retrieved.

The rabbit immediately

got up and started

hopping away. The

rabbit scampered off

into the woods while

Todd’s jaw dropped

watching it.

2021 Plane Pull Champions - Lewiston Police Department

Officer Ryan Gagnon, Officer Tim Blais, Officer Aaron Schmitz, Officer Andrew James,

Officer Travys Fecteau (kneeling), Officer Cory Chamberlain, Officer Keith Caouette,

Mallory and Sydney Beauparlant, Officer Alex Wallace, Sergeant Tyler Michaud, Chief

Brian O’Malley, Officer David Allen holding Evelyn Allen, & Corporal Brian Beauparlant

How long does it take a giraffe to clear its throat when it coughs?

“Wait, how did you do

that? What was in that

spray can?” asked

Todd.

“Hair spray. It says

right on the can that

it restores life to dead

hair.”


...with

Jimbo


Transform lives,

one wish at a time.

Share the power

of a

wish

Paul Taylor, CPI

InterNACHI Certified

Professional Inspector®

ME Radon & Water Testing

License #SMC343

(207) 595-6794

dclelectricme.com

Proudly serving Oxford Hills

Home Inspections • Radon Testing

Water Quality Testing

207-558-2677

Mountainvhi@gmail.com

43 Presidential View, South Paris

POLLY’S VARIETY

115 King Street • Oxford

Proud Supporter of

Full service pet spa

No More Crackers

Polly W ants Pizza

207-782-7113

31 Blake Street, Lewiston

armandsautobody.com

34 Center Street, Auburn

439 Lewiston Road, Topsham

(207) 401-2000

www.207chiro.com

Proud to help Uncle Andy’s

Digest & Make-A-Wish Maine

Marketing & Technology

(207) 515-1594

shane@logikops.com

Find us on Facebook!

207-739-9445

Proud sponsor of

23 Pleasant Street,

Mechanic Falls

207-345-5551

Dadsplacemaine.com

Proud Sponsor of

Wheeler’s

MARKET

& Redemption Center

207-783-7795

Proud Supporter Of

FREE CONSULTATION!

Organization services

for your home & office

Elaine St. Pierre

207-376-7828

simplyorganizedspacesmaine@gmail.com

GREENHOUSE & GARDEN CENTER

896 Lawrence Rd. No. Pownal

207-688-4462

www.GardenSpotFarm.com

Proudly Supporting

Be Your

Own Boss!

Time for a change?

It’s worth a conversation.

Millie

MacDonald

207-221-8554

Proud supporter of

2331 Congress Street, Portland,

mildred.macdonald@crossagency.com

MICHAEL G. SPAULDING, P.A.

Accounting & Tax Service You Can Trust

207-782-1040

Thank you!

&

Roy’s

FOODLAND

Helping grant a wish to a

sick child is rewarding!

70 Broad Street, Auburn

207-797-6060

A proud, long-time supporter of

207-782-7141

Proudly supporting

Chris Wallace, RVP

207-653-3424

Happy to Sponsor

This message is brought to you by all of us at Uncle Andy’s Digest, and its advertisers.

Let’s support local businesses and frequent them at every opportunity.

Transform lives,

one wish at a time.

Proud Supporter of

Christopher D Wallace

Preparer/Owner

Office: 207-892-1480

Fax: 888-565-1173

CATERING

Call Dad’s Place Catering Today!

207-345-9009

DadsPlaceCatering.com

Proud Sponsor of

Tyla Davis, Editor

207-346-1488 • design@uncleandys.com

chris@sbsme.biz

Be a legend.

Insure your life.

Justin Campbell, Agent

1570 Main Street Suite 2A

Oxford, ME 04270

Bus: 207-539-5095

www.oxfordhillsinsurance.com

With the right life

insurance, you can

leave a legacy for your

family. I’m here to help.

LET’S TALK TODAY.

Proudly Supporting

Proudly sponsors

Steve Simard

Businesses & individuals can help make it

possible to grant a wish for a child suffering

State Farm Life Insurance Company (Not licensed in MA, NY or WI)

State Farm Life and Accident Assurance Company (Licensed in NY and WI)

1708145

Bloomington, IL

Thank you, Make-A-Wish

207-225-5627

www.atwork.com/turner 2160 Hotel Road, Auburn

from a serious illness. Please Donate!

Call me

to find out

how!

207-754-1815

steve@uncleandys.com

@MEDCoMaine

1-866-42-MEDCo

thcMEDCo.com

Proud Supporter of

Laughter is

the Best

Medicine!

Julie Poulin, comedian

Stone’s Trash Removal

Proudly Supporting

Let us build that dream deck for you!

207-212-7791

(207) 744-2274

290 Maine Street, Norway www.vghomeimprovements.com

All Natural Pain Relief!

Locally Raised!

NICOLE LAJOIE of

THE CHAMPOUX GROUP

CHAMPOUX • PEOPLES • PINKHAM • ROGERS

I N S U R A N C E

...Your Security is Our Concern!

Proudly Supports

We’re here for YOU!

UFOs • Pizza • Donuts

Takeout • Door Dash

783-2981

georgiosmaine.com

Open daily

7am-7pm

207-333-5188

www.cowbellgrillandtap.com

Richard Moylan

(207) 777-0050

791 Kittyhawk Ave. Unit 5, Auburn

richardmoylan@allstate.com

Call today

to ask about the

amazing benefits

of emu oil

with CBD!

39 Tuelltown Road, West Paris

(207) 446-1014

207-577-7366

earth-alternatives.com

207-753-6222

nicole@champoux-ins.com

Limited delivery via Insurance and coverages subject to terms.

qualifications and availability. Allstate Property

and Casualty Insurance Company, Allstate Fire and

Casualty Insurance Company: Northbrook, Illinois

© 2010 Allstate Insurance Company

John Engelbert

Heartland

Payment Systems

207-592-6815

John.Engelbert@e-hps.com

Katie Pepin

207-402-5061

info@mainewindowcleaners.com

740 Sabattus Street, Lewiston

Proud Sponsor of

Katie, Chase, Paige, & Tyson Support

1940 ~ 2020

Proudly Supports

470 Lake Shore Drive

Auburn

tabersgolf.com

This message is brought to you by all of us at Uncle Andy’s Digest, and its advertisers.

Let’s support local businesses and frequent them at every opportunity.

High School

Finals


Cassidy was taking her

finals in history. The

last question on the

test read:


30

What was the first

message Alexander

Graham Bell sent by

telephone?

Cassidy thought for a

bit and tried to envision

her notes before

writing her answer:

Your car’s extended

warranty is about to

expire.

Spring is in

the Air

Submitted by Jimbo

A papa mole, a mama

mole, and a baby mole

all live together in a

little mole hole.

One day, papa mole

sticks his head out of

the hole, sniffs the air,

and says, “Yummy, I

smell maple syrup.”

The mama mole sticks

her head out of the

hole, sniffs the air, and

says, “Oh yummy, I

smell honey.”

Now baby mole is

trying to stick his head

out of the hole to

sniff the air, but can’t

because the bigger

moles are in the way.

This makes him whine,

“Geez, all I can smell

is moleasses.”

Jimbo

June 2021 783-7039

My morning routine consists of laying in bed for 10 minutes thinking of how tired I am.

Call ahead for

bulk deliveries

& loading

• Mulch

• Loam

• Compost

• 50/50 Compost/

Loam Mix

Full Line of

Bagged Mulch • Soils

Fertilizers • Pro-Mix

Garden Tools • Potting Soil

Eligible for Medicare?

CALL US TODAY

to see which Medicare health plan best fits your needs.

30+

Years of

Experience!

GREENHOUSE & GARDEN CENTER

OPEN EVERY DAY 8 - 4

896 Lawrence Rd. No. Pownal • 207-688-4462

www.GardenSpotFarm.com

Look for specials on Facebook!

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

FOR ALL YOUR FLOWER AND VEGETABLE GARDEN NEEDS

Tree & Shrubs

Asparagus &

Strawberry Plants

Seed Potato • Seeds

Proven Winners

10” to 12” Hanging Combination

10” Fuchsia hanging baskets $ 28

Annual Flats, Herb & Vegetable Flats

& Pots • Geraniums

Visit us at 184 Webster Street, Lewiston

10 greenhouses full

of annual, perennial,

vegetable and

herb plants!

Out ‘n About in Pownal at Garden Spot Farm for Mother’s Day

These

flowers

aren’t nearly as

pretty as my

Mom!

Sean, Ruby,

Levi, & Cary

Tracy

Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store.

Plan

I just failed a captcha test. It was a heck of a way to find out I’m a robot.

Performances

YOUR

Franco Center event today!




& Elite Airways


Fundraiser

I was

volun-told that I

was helping to pull

a plane instead

of taking pictures.

Go ahead, twist

my arm a little

more.

Conferences

Graduations

Concerts

Corporate Parties

Celebrations of Life

Weddings

Retirements

Birthdays

Showers

Keith Davis

Events

Rick, Stephanie,

& Terry Rodrigue

It’s all

about raising

money for a good

cause... but beating

the Lewiston PD

would be pretty

sweet too!

For Performances - production@francocenter.org

For Events - events@francocenter.org

or Call: 207-783-1585

(207) 783-1585 * FRANCOCENTER.ORG * 46 CEDAR ST., LEWISTON

I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl. It’s seven.

Tyler Barnies,

Joseph Miville, &

Travis Barnies

Auburn Police Department


...with

Jimbo


Blurry Vision


Steve called Jimbo

early one morning.

“I’m sorry, I won’t be

at work today. It’s my

eyes.”

“Wow, your eyes?”

said Jimbo. “That can’t

be good. Do you know

what’s wrong with

them?

“Yeah, I just can’t see

myself making it in

today.”

• Chlorine

• Shock

It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.

WE HAVE POOL SUPPLIES!

Get your pool ready for the summer

• Filters & Parts

• Pool toys!

186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus • (207) 375-6253

The hard part about business is minding your own.

EST

1950

54 Mill Street

New Auburn

84 General Turner Hill Road, Turner

207-225-3000

www.mhoilandpropane.com

Appointments

and walk-ins

welcome!

783-3444

OPEN:

Tues-Fri

7:30a-5:30p

Sat 7:30a-2p

Booth Rentals Available

TJ & Cain Lewis

Teamwork is important, it helps put the blame on someone else.

Did You

Know?

The Eiffel Tower actually

grows in the heat

of the summer. Due to

the iron expanding, the

tower grows about six

inches every summer.

Monday - Saturday 11a-9p


www.firehouseauburn.com

207-376-4959

HAPPY HOUR

Monday-Friday

2p-5p

WING WEDNESDAY

75¢ OFF

(dine in only)

BURGER MONDAY

$2 OFF

June Drink

Special

Coconut

Margarita

$

9


Jimbo

32 June 2021 783-7039

Somewhere out there my Tupperware lids and single socks are

hanging out together and laughing at me for looking for them.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire,

but it takes a whole box to start a camp fire?




& Elite Airways


Fundraiser

I bought

a new plane

yesterday. I was

disappointed that

they didn’t let

me keep

the hangar.

Your

jokes are

terrible!

The Chapman House has private rooms available

for residents, aged 65 and older, that need

assistance with bathing, medications, and meals.

We provide a warm and

comfortable home for our residents

41 Pleasant Street

Auburn

207-783-0961

Being a functional adult every single day seems a bit excessive.

Emma Chute,

Aden Campbell,

Ava St. Germain,

& Lilly Caouette

Lewiston PD

wins the trophy!

Our time was 5.6

seconds! That plane

didn’t realize who

it was messing

with!

David Allen,

Keith Caouette,

& Alex Wallace

Lewiston Police Department


...with

Jimbo


Prayer Candle


A Catholic priest announces

at church one

day, “I will be in Rome

next week. If any of

you have a wish, I will

light a candle in the

cathedral in hopes that

your prayers will be

answered.”

A woman announces,

“My husband and I

have been married for

several years,

but have never had

any children. Can you

light a candle so that

we can have children?”

“I will do that,” says the

priest.

Five years later, the

woman says to the

priest, “Since you went

to Rome and lit that

candle, I have given

birth to a pair of twins

and a set of triplets,

and now I am pregnant

again!”

OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSES

POLLY’S VARIETY

115 King Street • Oxford

CALL AHEAD

FOR ORDERS!

Take out window available

Voted one of

Maine’s Best

Pizza Places!

2016 WMTW

Facebook Fan poll

207-539-8254

www.pollysvariety.com

No More Crackers

Polly W ants Pizza

June

Special

Sausage

gravy,

biscuit

breakfast

with 2 eggs

$5 .99

Plus tax/deposit

Expires 06/30/2021

Monday - Tuesday: 5:30am - 7:00pm • Wednesday - Saturday: 5:30am - 8:00pm • Sunday: 6:00am - 7:00pm

THE LAKE

STORE

14 Waterford Road, Norway

207-743-6562

Enjoy our comfortable outside area!

She then gives the

priest a plane ticket to

Rome.

“You are too kind,”

says the priest. “You

don’t need to thank

me.”

“I’m not thanking you,”

says the woman. “I just

want you to blow out

that candle.”

WE’RE HERE WITH GREAT DEALS!

• VIDEOS, GAMES

• TOOLS

PA’S

• ICE FISHING SUPPLIES

• FURNITURE

TRADIN’

• & MUCH MORE!

COMPANY Inc.

BUY • SELL • TRADE

PAWN

Federal Licensed Firearms Dealer

1447 Main Street, Oxford

Only 25 Minutes from

Auburn & Gray

Open Mon-Sat. 9am - 5pm

207-743-0709 or

1-877-743-0709

BUYING GUNS!

Use your tax returns to

purchase quality items

at bargain pricing

Gun Background

Checks/Transfers

Fire Arms Transfers $ 25/each

Always Pawning

& Selling

Visit Us!

When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you become a vacuum cleaner.

OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSES

F ind Y ourself

in places no one else can

OFFERING

Residential

Commercial

Clean Outs

Roll Offs

844-ME-TRASH

844-638-7274

CALL OF THE WILD

RV CENTER

848 Main Street, Oxford

207-539-4410

www.callofthewildrv.com

The only thing we don’t throw away is our customer service!

SERVING

Oxford Hills • Lewiston/Auburn• McFalls/Minot/Poland

Bridgton/Denmark • Raymond/Naples

9 Marston St. Norway, Ste.3 • TiceWasteManagement.com

My doctor told me to avoid unnecessary stress so I stopped opening my bills.

COOPER FARMS

Since 1971

We grow our own apples & vegetables

and we raise natural home-grown beef!

207-674-2200 • West Paris

Have

Digest,

will travel.

Out ‘n About in Florida

I need

a good laugh; can

I read the Digest

next?

Dan St. Pierre & Carol St. Pierre, Vicky & David Jacobs-Pratt

Out ‘n About in Pownal at Garden Spot Farm for Mother’s Day

Front Row:

Sidney,

Elisabeth, Riley,

& Stephanie

Back Row:

Justin, Jill,

Jaime, Isabelle,

Ellen, &

Heather




& Elite Airways


Fundraiser

Watch out

next year, Lewiston

PD... we’re coming

for you!

Jason Moen

Auburn Police Chief

I’ll see your toddler tantrum and raise you a teenager

that just had their phone taken away.


...with

Jimbo


Senior Prom


A teenage boy is getting

ready to take his

girlfriend to the prom.

First he goes to rent

a tuxedo, but there’s

a long tuxedo line at

the store and it takes

forever.

Next, he has to get

some flowers, so he

heads over to the

florist and there’s a

huge flower line there.

He waits forever but

eventually gets the

flowers.

Then he heads out to

rent a limo. Unfortunately,

there’s a large

limo line at the rental

office, but he’s patient

and gets the job done.

I see people my age climbing mountains and zip lining and here I am feeling good

about getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Roy’s

It’s BBQ

WEEKLY SPECIALS AT ROY’S Time!

Check out our

Saturday Bean Special

specials

Beans, Bread/Rolls & Cole Slaw, $8.99

Wednesday Italian Special

Ham, Salami, Veggie or Pepperoni, $2.29

Pizza Pack Special

Pizza Packs only $ 9.99 • 2lb Pepperoni Pks only $ 6.99

Roy’s

Ground Chuck, 10lbs for $39.90

(while supplies last)

FOODLAND

Ham Shank

$0.89/lb

Ham Butt:

$0.99/lb

Hours:

Mon. - Thurs. 8am - 6pm

Fri. 8am - 7pm

Sat. 8am - 6pm

Sun. closed

Don’t forget your chicken salad, “best in town” or ham salad!

70 Broad Street, Auburn • 207-783-8471 • www.ShopAtRoysFoodland.com

Out ‘n About with the new team members of Poland Spring Resort

Finally, the day of the

prom comes. The two

are dancing happily

and his girlfriend is

having a great time.

When the song is

over, she asks him to

get her some punch,

so he heads over to

the punch table and

there’s no punchline.

Catherine Oliveras, Head Chef - Mel’s Hilltop Restaurant & Bar

Craig Orlando, Head of Food & Beverage - Poland Spring Resort

Rox Ann Santiago, Executive Chef - Maine Inn, Kitchen & Banquet’s

Madison Parr, Marketing Director

Preorder online or mention this ad

and get 1 / 8 for $25.00!

Leaf it to us.

Medical Cannabis • New Patients Welcome

934 Lisbon Street,

Lewiston, ME 04240

Entrance in back

207-689-3626

www.207high.com

Summer! Is your vehicle ready?

Summer Car Care Tips

Wash your vehicle. Check tires,

brakes, oil & battery. Replace

wipers & fluids if necessary!

Poisson & Sons

Auto Care

Full Service Gas Station

260 S. Main Street, Auburn

207.782.9144

June 2021

Stickers

are due!


Jimbo

36 June 2021 783-7039

When I’m driving alone I crank up the music until I get lost.

Then I turn off the music so I can see better.

An accountant is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had

in a way you don’t understand.

Welcoming Family-Friendly Atmosphere & Delicious Food!

We pride ourselves on excellent

service & quality food. Visit our

outside dining that overlooks the

golf course.




& Elite Airways


Fundraiser

Did you

know that the

Auburn-Lewiston

Airport is the 2nd

busiest airport in the

state? It has 52,750

runway operations

annually.

(207) 998-4351

www.polandspringresort.com

Open Tuesday - Sunday, 11:30 AM - 8:00 PM

We are closed on Mondays

Whether you are craving a hearty

meal after a day of golf, want a

refreshing drink/cocktail, or if you

just want to hang around our fire

pit... Mel’s Hilltop is a great place

to visit!

Jason Levesque

Auburn Mayor and

event emcee

The architect dipped his finger in ink to get a blueprint.

WELCOME TO THE LA METRO CHAMBER

NEW MEMBERS!

Damon & Elaine

Lehnig

Two wrongs

don’t make a right.

But two Wrights can

make a plane.

Sonder & Dram

SonderDram.com

facebook.com/sonderdram

12 Ash St, Lewiston

Twelve North Agency

TwelveNorthAgency.com

214 Minot Ave, Auburn

415 LISBON STREET, LEWISTON • LAMETROCHAMBER.COM

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon,

Neil A. spelled backwards is ALIEN. I knew NASA was trolling us.

Ashley James &

Kolby Pitman


...with

Jimbo


BUSINESS

SP TLIGHT

Know When to

Shut Up


Coming out of the grocery

story one day, Bob

noticed a police officer

writing a ticket for being

parked in a loading

zone.

Bob ran over to the officer

and pleaded, “Aww

come on buddy, just

give a guy a break.”

Call today for a quote!

207-754-2519

seatailor.ctaylor@gmail.com

Fully Insured

Great Gifts

All The Time

Visit Us!


207-241-0125

Meraki1921.com

- Pooper scooping services -

Accepting

New

Clients

207-713-1550

Find us on Facebook

The cop ignored him

so then Bob decided to

insult him by calling him

a geek.

The cop started writing

a second ticket for bald

tires on the car in response

to the insults.

“Whatever, officer,”

Bob continued, “you’re

probably only writing

these tickets because

it makes you feel like a

tough guy.”

The cop wrote a third

ticket and put it on the

windshield with the first

two.

207-333-5022

kaytdavispt@gmail.com

Therapy in the home.

Most insurances accepted.

20 Pleasant Mountain View

West Paris, Maine

CALL FOR AN APPOINTMENT!

207-782-7141

It’s Summer Time!

Treat yourself to delicious pizza!

New

centrifuge

area rug

cleaning!

• Carpets

• Wood Floors

• Tile & Grout

• Water Damage Drying

Commercial & Residential

Call Today!

(207) 783-2933

Bob continued to hurl

insults at the officer,

and the officer continued

writing tickets.

After seven tickets, the

insults stopped.

The officer walked away,

and so did Bob. Bob

didn’t care about all the

tickets - his car was

parked 20 spots away!


38

Jimbo

June 2021 783-7039

CALL TODAY TO ADVERTISE IN OUR

BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT SECTION!

AS LOW AS $ 50 PER MONTH

207-783-7039

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage:

We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

You must have learned from others’ mistakes.

You haven’t had time to think all those up yourself.

NOW OFFERING

BREAKFAST SATURDAYS

& SUNDAYS!




& Elite Airways


Fundraiser

Schmitz!

Stop flexing your

muscles for

the camera!

Wednesday: 11am-3pm

Thursday: 11am-8pm

Friday: 11am-9pm

Saturday: 7am-9pm

Sunday: 7am-3pm

Scan here

for our

menu!

Download

our app for

takeout and

delivery!

Check out

our outside

seating!

103 Lincoln Street, Lewiston

207-333-5062 • www.stationgrillrestaurant.com

Cory Chamberlain

& Andrew James


Dude, I’m

not flexing. I just

look like this.

Tuesday - Thursday: 4pm-11pm

Friday - Saturday: 4pm-1am

Aaron Schmitz


June 19th

Cornhole League Fundraiser Tournament

Starting at 1:00pm

Doors open at 11:00am

551 Lincoln Street, Lewiston

207-777-1155 • www.schemengees.com

Vacation begins when Dad says, “I know a short cut.”

Sgt. Kris Bouchard

Auburn Police Department


...with

Jimbo





& Elite Airways


Fundraiser

It’s been

over a year

since I’ve been

able to see my “little

brother” in person. To

be able to attend this

fundraiser and see

Jacobi again was

fantastic!

When your parrot sees you reading a newspaper,

do you think he wonders why you’re sitting there staring at his carpeting?

The Fortin Group

Proudly serving the communities of

Lewiston and Auburn for over 100 years.

The cost of living keeps going up.

The cost of your funeral doesn’t have to.

Pre-plan now and your cost will be locked in.

AUBURN

217 Turner Street

207-783-8545

LEWISTON

70 Horton Street

207-784-4584

Uncle Andy’s Digest...with

40

Jacobi Joseph &

Henry Morjikian

Big Brothers

Big Sisters has

been so wonderful

for Jacobi. We are so

grateful for this

program!

Liahna Palmer &

Ashley Median

Jacobi Joseph’s family

Jimbo

June 2021 783-7039

Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

Of Maine

Your Neighborhood Of Maine Window Cleaners ®

Your Neighborhood Window Cleaners ®

Phone 207.782.WASH

Phone 207.782.WASH

• Window Washing

• Pressure Of Washing Maine

SqueegeeSquad.com

• Of Soft Washing SqueegeeSquad.com

Maine

Your Neighborhood • Gutter Cleaning Window Cleaners

Your Neighborhood Window Cleaners ®

®

• Chandelier/Ceiling Fan Cleaning

Phone 207.782.WASH

Phone 207.782.WASH

SqueegeeSquad.com

SqueegeeSquad.com

Charles Hamel

Owner/Manager

Charles Hamel

A backward poet writes inverse.

Owner/Manager

207.782.WASH (9274)

charliehamel@SqueegeeSquad.com

207.782.WASH Charles Owner/Manager Hamel (9274)


A FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS SINCE 2004

Owner/Manager

• Tile & grout

Charles Hamel

Tile & grout, area rugs, pet odor removal

Environmentally friendly, dries in 1 hour

207.782.WASH (9274)

207.782.WASH charliehamel@SqueegeeSquad.com

(9274)


• Area rugs Safe for children & pets

207-783-9073

• Pet odor removal

•

160

Environmentally

Vickery Road

friendly

160 Auburn, Vickery ME Road 04210

Auburn, • Dries ME in 04210 one hour

• Safe for children

and pets

160 Vickery Road

160 Auburn, Vickery Road ME 04210

Auburn, ME 04210

207-783-9073

HealthyHomesClean.com

Call For An Appointment!

The Balloon family name died off when it ran out of heir.

• Title Insurance

• Abstracting

• Escrow Closing Service

• 1031 Exchanges

Androscoggin County’s Premier

Title & Escrow Closing Headquarters

Your Title Company

Since 1987

• For Sale by Owner

• Title Certificates

• Construction

Disbursements

WE’VE

MOVED!

Our new address is:

500 Canal Street,

Lewiston 04240

500 Canal Street, Lewiston | 207-784-6413 | generalmail@androtitle.com



Talent Show


The day had finally

arrived, it was finally

show time at the local

high school talent

show. The students

had worked hard

through the semester

to get the show perfected

for friends

and family to come

see.

Justin, the student

sound manager, got

up on stage before the

show, tapped on the

microphone a couple

of times, and said,

“If there is anyone

named Michael in the

audience, please stand

up.”

A few guys in the

crowd awkwardly

stood up, trying to figure

out why they were

being called out.

Make your

reservation

now!

At 6'4", Keith Davis is dwarfed by the 31,500 pound

CRJ-200 Jet used in the plane pull.

A place the whole family will LOVE!

LA’s One & Only True Hibachi Experience!

40 East Avenue, Lewiston • 207-795-6888 • www.sea40me.com

Schooner or later sailors engage in rudder nonsense.

Damien made a mark

on his clipboard and

said, “Thank you, gentlemen.

You may now

sit back down. This

concludes our mike

check.”

Money Talks


Katie went to the deli

one day to grab some

breakfast.

“I’d like to buy a bagel

with cream cheese,”

she told the cashier.

“I’m sorry, we only

accept cash or credit

cards here, Ma’am.”


...with

Jimbo


After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD..,

or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as some people call it.

Out ‘n About at Digest World Headquarters in Auburn

International T-Shirt Day

June 21st

Reunions

Summer Camp

Road Races &

Charity 5k’s

Contractors &

Landscapers

Quality

Products

Reasonable

Pricing

CALL US FOR A

QUOTE TODAY!

205 Washington St.

South, Auburn

207-784-4184

coastaltshirts.com

Uncle Andy’s Digest & LA Metro Magazine took part

in Lewiston PD’s “Sponsor a Cop” fundraiser for

Special Olympics Maine.

We were proud to make a donation

and have Sgt. Mike Dumond be our cop!

Rumor has it that Mike is a semi-pro Cornhole player and

will take on any opponent and show them how it’s done.

I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing.

Confessions of

a Copy Editor


Bill, went to confession

for the first time in

several years.

He knelt down, made

the sign of the cross,

and said, “Bless me

Father, Pastor, Vicar,

Padre, Priest... for I

have synonymed.”


42

Jimbo

June 2021 783-7039

Small Office Suites for Lease Month to Month

$350 Gross/Month • 124 Lisbon Street, Lewiston

Private Entrance on Park St. Alley, Steps from Parking

Perfect for Small Startup, Counselors, etc.

Maine Realty Advisors

FRANK CARR

Your real estate investment advisor

Brokering your buying & selling needs

207.252.4881 • Frank@MaineRealtyAdvisors.com

After three days of fishing, the musician hoped he would catch a bassoon.

Children who fail their coloring exams always need a shoulder to crayon.

Annuals

Vegetable Plants




& Elite Airways


Fundraiser

Hanging Baskets

Mother’s Day Gifts

Gift Cards

Come celebrate Spring &

support your local farm!

All your flower bed

& garden needs!

Eddie & Tracy

Grenier

I heard

the airplane’s mom

grounded it for its

bad altitude?

Open 7 days a week • Mon. - Fri. 9a-5:30p • Sat. & Sun. 9a-4:30p

876 Summer St. Auburn • WHITINGFARM.ORG

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

1940 ~ 2021

• Restaurant

• Mini Golf Course

• Driving Range

• Ice Cream Stand

Landen, Courtney, &

Marleigh Levesque

Of course

Lewiston PD won

the plane pull. They

had my dad on the

team. He’s super

strong!

Treat DAD to a family fun day

this Father’s Day!

470 Lake Shore Drive, Auburn • tabersgolf.com

Don’t judge a book by its movie.

Summer Hours

Miniature Golf &

Driving Range

Open Daily 10am - 9pm

(weather permitting)

Restaurant & Ice Cream Stand

Open 11am-9pm

Evelyn, David*, &

Samantha Allen

*Lewiston Police Department


...with

Jimbo


25 Fern Street

Turner, Maine 04282

(207) 225-5012

www.dickautobody.com

CALL THE PROS

COMPLETE

MECHANICAL REPAIR

• State Inspections

• Tires & Batteries

• Tune-Ups & Brakes

• Engine Diagnostics

• Air Conditioning

• Complete Front End Work

• FREE Shuttle Service

SUMMER IS MADE FOR RELAXING

Massage is designed to help.

Mon., Wed., Fri. 11a-7p • Thu. 9a-7p • Sat. 12p-5p

Call to

book your

personalized

treatment!


(207) 402-8654

www.lamassagemaine.com

Angela’s Computer & Media Shoppe

AngelasCMS.com

Call:

(207) 520-9573

Servicing Maine

Coach Terry’s

REDEMPTION CENTER

Computing and Electronic Services, Install,

Fixes, and Lessons on Hardware and Software

Open daily

8am to 4pm

Closed

4th of July

207-225-2008

8 Tidswell Road, Turner

WEBSITES THAT WORK

Design. Build. Brand. Market.

Your trusted, nonprofit resource

for assistance and information

Medicare counseling • caregiver support

educational programming • Meals on Wheels

benefits and bill-paying guidance

seniorsplus.org • 1-800-427-1241

www.MaineWeb.co

Unlimited Wash Combos

Combo #2

24 .95

$

24 per

Combo #3

includes:

.95

month

.95

$ 29 .95

per month

exterior wash,

underbody, &

poly sealant

includes: exterior

wash, underbody,

rust inhibitor, wheel

brite, tire shine, &

wax

7 Lincoln St. Lewiston

207.782.4009 • YvonsCarWash.com


Jimbo

44 June 2021 783-7039

I had a job at the bowling alley. Not for long though, I was only tenpin.

CALL THE PROS

marcositalian.com

TEAM

KENNAGH

6

REDEMPTION CENTER

¢

on all 5¢ returns

with this coupon.

(must present coupon at Redemption Center prior to counting)

Located in the building behind Dad’s Place

Hours: Wednesday - Sunday 9am - 5pm

(closed Major Holidays) UAD exp. 6.30.21

OUR DECK IS OPEN!

Come have

a beer and

soak up

the sun at

the best

outdoor

dining spot

in LA!

68 Main Street, Auburn • (207) 376-2739

Offering:

Dining indoors

or outside

Take out

Delivery

Open 11am-7:30pm

12 MOLLISON WAY, 12 Mollison LEWISTON Way, Lewiston | 783-0336

OWN YOUR

With a

Mower

SALES • PARTS • SERVICE

65 th Year

Anniversary

827 Sabattus Road, Sabattus

207-375-6561

watermanfarmmachinery.com

FULL COLOR COPIES & MORE!

Posters • Booklets • Carbonless forms

Envelopes • Business Cards & More!

Shelley Kennagh

Loan Officer / NMLS 532306

(207) 890-4942

skennagh@cmgfi.com

Contact me for all of your home loan needs!


207-782-0525 • evergreencustomprinting.com

Call Today for a Free Quote!

Call us

today for a

FREE

ESTIMATE!

Handyman Services

Men in faith practicing a program of recovery.

Services Include:

Yard cleanup • Light Carpentry • Painting • Cleanouts

And more!

(207) 797-7997 • cfrost@rmime.us

A monster who likes to ring doorbells is a knock less monster.


...with

Jimbo


SALE! VHS to DVD

Get VHS tapes transferred to DVD or digital format

SAVE 20%

Limited

Time Offer

Now thru June 30th

DIGITIZE, DUPLICATE, SHARE + ENJOY

CALL THE PROS

Auburn Mall • 207-783-3354

Office, Restaurant, & Light

Industrial Cleaning Services

Mike Magretto

Veteran Owned & Operated

EmeraldJanitorialServices.com 207-530-8890

FARRELL ENTERPRISES

BUILDINGS AND PROPERTIES CLEANED

We get down & dirty so

you don’t have to!

Nearly Anything Removed

Trash • Metals • Demolition & More!

Fully Insured

Michael Farrell

207-576-2501

RON’S

TRANSMISSION REPAIR SERVICE

OIL CHANGES

SHOCKS

STRUTS

INSPECTIONS

375-4924

515 Gardiner Rd. Wales

YOUR FULL

SERVICE

REPAIR

FACILITY

Happy Father’s Day!

LARGE VARIETY OF FIREARMS & SUPPLIES ON HAND!

Shown here: Kimber Sapphire

Ultra II 45 ACP, 3" barrel, 8 shot

✷

New

& Used

Available!

✷

Fine Line Gun Shop

590 Plains Rd., Poland • (207) 998-2374

Snorkels, Masks, Wetsuits, Fins, RashGuards

Paddleboards, Paddles, Lifejackets, Windsurf

805 Main St.

Lewiston

784-7300

Protect your car from the summer heat!

Lincoln Street

RADIATOR SHOP

Family owned & operated since 1967

Call

for your

FREE QUOTE

Today!

Your Vision.

Our Expertise.

Kitchens, Baths,

Decks & More!

We are your A/C specialists!

207-784-9356

1522 Lisbon Street, Lewiston Monday-Friday: 8a-5p

207-212-7791

www.vghomeimprovements.com


Jimbo

46 June 2021 783-7039

Long lines at fast food places cause wait gain.

Over 15 years experience!

CALL THE PROS

Mark’s Magic

Close up & walk around

magician/mentalist

Call us TODAY for your

party or corporate event!

207-212-4214 -4214

Pat’s is a great place to enjoy a meal

inside or outside on the deck!

Serving

Great Food

Since

1985!


207-784-8221 • patsauburn.com

11a-9p daily

Calling all

SHOPPERS!

Hundreds and hundreds of items

from many different vendors

1225 Center Street, Auburn, #100B

207-241-2489

www.mainelyhandmade.com

DREAMING OF HOME OWNERSHIP?

Let us walk you through the process

Contact

Sean

Today!

Sean Doucette

207-754-5721

sdoucette@usamortgage.com

NMLS #509638

Book Your Appointment Now!

NEW

LOCATION!

Cuts | Colors | Foils

7 Clark Street

Auburn

207-312-5891

Call our team of

marketing experts at

207-783-7039 to help bring

Top of Mind Awareness to

your business! We can help

you get the exposure

you need to

succeed!

Walter struggled with stopping his car in driving school.

You might say he was breaking bad.


...with

Jimbo





& Elite Airways


Fundraiser

Did you

see the crack on

the side of the plane

wing? It had an airline

fracture.

Steve was kicked off the skydiving team because he couldn’t chute straight.

Saturday, August 14 th

1:00 - 9:00pm

OUTSIDE, NEXT TO MAC’S GRILL

1052 Minot Ave. Auburn

UNCLE AND

pres

Fun for

Everyone!

Amanda &

Andrew Shute

When the

Digest paparazzi

asks you to flash your

best smile, you

make sure to give

it to them!

• Kid’s Zone w/ 95' Inflatable

Obstacle Course

• HUGE Silent Auction

• Dunk Tank

• Face Painting

• Mr. Drew & His Animals Too

• Great Food

• Beer Garden & Full Bar

• 50/50

A great

Community

Event!

Food, Fun, & M

hoste

OUR AMAZING

Wyatt Rodgers


Jimbo

48 June 2021 783-7039

Cheap adhesive is tacky.

Y’S DIGEST

ents

usic to Benefit

The food they serve to guards can last for sentries.

3

BANDS!

1:00-3:00pm – Cryin’ Out Loud

3:00-5:00pm – Fire in the Hole

6:00-9:00pm – Skosh

Because of YOU

we’ve been able to raise over

$335,000 and grant 47 wishes to local

kids facing critical illnesses. Help

us make our 7th Annual event

the best yet!

Amphibian

Love


A frog goes to a fortune

teller to find out

if he will ever find his

one true love.

The fortune teller reads

his palm and tells the

frog, “I have good news

and I have bad news.

Which one would you

like to hear first?”

The frog says, “Let me

hear the good news

first.”

The fortune teller says,

“You are going to meet

the most beautiful girl,

and she will be very interested

in you and will

want to know all about

you. She will want you

to open up for her and

you will give her your

heart.”

“That great!” says the

frog. “So what’s the

bad news?”

d by

A Summer Event You

Won’t Want to Miss!

“Well, you’re going to

meet her in Biology

class.”

SPONSORS!

LASummerBlockParty.com

Laundry 101


WASHING TIME:

45 minutes

DeBlois Electric, Inc.

Alternative Sprinkler

Fire Protection

Media Partners:

DRYING TIME:

50-60 minutes

PUT AWAY TIME:

7-10 business days

If you want to keep squirrels out of the bird feeder, just install a little climb-it control.


...with

Jimbo





& Elite Airways


Fundraiser

Team Mr.

Boston Brands

of Maine raised the

most money

at $2,000 and won

two tickets to anywhere

that Elite

Airways flies!

Melissa & Curtis

Rodgers

Boston Brands of Maine

My girlfriend dumped me because she says it’s annoying how I

relate everything to Batman... What a Joker!

CELEBRATING

ALL ABOUT

20

Years

OF BEAUTY

It may be our

BIRTHDAY

But we’re

celebrating

Join us at Anniversary Park

June 5th, 1-5pm

New Auburn Village Business Block Party

MONTH OF JUNE

20% off keratin treatments

20% off all products (V.I.P. Extra 10%)

20% off all color service for new clients

$20 off personalized blow out

$25 gifts cards for $20

U

41 Broad Street, Auburn (207) 784-5407

Is it

too late

to call dibs

on those

tickets?


50

Alexis Palmer &

Jessica Parsons

Rick Stewart &

Michael Petrie

ABB

Jimbo

June 2021 783-7039

When I visited Argentina I was surprised how cold it was. It was bordering on Chile.

JUNE 5, 2021 1pm-5pm

New Auburn Village

BUSINESS

BLOCK PARTY

at Anniversary Park

Food & Live Entertainment

Continental Shakedown, L/A Harley Band

& Bonnie Edwards 1pm-5pm

Fireball Creek 6pm-9pm

Join us in supporting local business & working heroes!

Sponsored by:

ALL ABOUT

U

SALON

Crosswords are what you hear when you distract someone working on a puzzle.

Stock up at any one of our SIX convenience package stores

Auburn

545 Minot Avenue - 783-2047

301 Main Street 783-9098

Lewiston

686 Main Street - 344-1200

794 Sabattus Street - 783-6353

1420 Lisbon Street - 333-3095

Oxford

980 Main Street - 539-6072

BEST WAY TO PROTECT YOUR CAR? SALT ELIMINATOR!

Pricing Policy

RUST PROTECTION

Heavy duty pickup ...... $149.95

Full size van .......... $149.95

2 door pickup . ......... $139.95

X-large SUV . .......... $149.95

3 & 4 door pickup ....... $149.95

Any car .............. $129.95

Mini van ............. $139.95

Sm., Med., or Lg. SUV ... $139.95

23 Lisbon St., Lisbon/Lewiston line • 207-353-6100

Plus applicable taxes

23 Lisbon St., Lisbon/Lewiston line • theshopclassicrestorations.com • 207-353-6100

Salt Eliminator Wash before KROWN:

$39.95


52 June 2021 783-7039

UncleAndysDigest.com

Jimbo

Now offering

full general

contracting

services

60 Depot Street, Buckfield

207-595-8842

• Foundations

• Septic Systems

• Lot Clearing

• Driveways

• Sand & Gravel

• Demolition

It’s summertime! If you need to reach me, call me on my shell.

Ready for Summer Fun?!

Schedule your pool service today!

Monday - Friday: 9a-5p, Saturday: 9a-4p

1975 Lisbon St., Rte. 196, Lewiston

783-0858 • www.abcpool.com

Ask us about our

eco-friendly line!

Low

Chlorine!

UAD June Digest 2021

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