Out and About -July-issue-

28 | OUT AND ABOUT COSTA BLANCA DEE’S TRAVELS
DEE’S TRAVELS
BOOKING A
LOW-COST FLIGHT
As I mentioned last month I love
flying and I love airports. I guess
if I thought about the distance
between me and the ground below as we
float above the clouds, I might change
my mind. I forget that it’s a long, long
way down and no one has laid out a nice,
soft, landing mattress to catch me.
Today, booking a flight especially on
the low-cost airlines requires a pot of
coffee; three Valium preferably Prozac;
a magnifying glass; pizza slices and
mountains of patience. It’s even advisable
to send the rest of the family off to the
beach to protect tender ears from the
naughty words they might overhear.
Departure and arrival destinations?
Preferred time? Approximate price?
Return or single? Number of suitcases?
Insurance? Cancellation waiver? Seat
preference (do you want to sit anywhere
near the rest of the family?) Early or
priority boarding? Carryon luggage; size,
weight (will it fit into our little cages, the
ones we shrink every couple of months?)
Future thrilling and exciting emails from
us right to your inbox?
The list is endless. But here’s where
they’re sneaky. See that little box in the
corner, there, behind the pop-up advert
that won’t go away? You didn’t tick the
‘no’? Gottcha ya! We’ve just doubled the
price. You thought you were going to fly
for under £20 to Stanstead, didn’t you?
We’ve now calculated the real cost and
it’s a little over £300. But for that, we’ll
throw in an extra case so your wife can
also take clothes with her, how’s that for
a bargain?
We are your airline and we love you.
Big warning. Never, ever check out
flight times and prices and then go off for
a sandwich and a drink to steady your
nerves. The moment you log on to the
site again, for of course your time will
have expired, those little bots in there
will go crazy, rubbing their bytes in glee
we’ve hooked another victim here so
let’s hike the price up guys. If you don’t
believe me, try it for yourself.
Now, this is the exciting part
passengers. Should you have travelled
to a foreign country, despite being
warned it’s not a terribly good idea
right now with Covid and all, should
the powers at the top decide to go from
green to amber, or, worse amber to red,
then we will happily fly you home for
only five times the original price of your
fare. How generous is that? Or, if your
flight is cancelled you can rebook for
a date next year, but we can’t promise
it won’t be diverted to Vladivostok or
Minsk. You never know who you are
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