Always Only You by Chloe Liese (z-lib.org).epub

the beach. I’m damn good at giving advice and shit at taking it.
Lo sits back in her chair and throws her feet on the bed. “That’s right. So
you’ve got to make a decision. If you believe you’re lovable, you have to believe
there’s someone out there up for loving you. Isn’t that him?”
“Yes,” I whisper, as I wipe away tears.
“No, you will never know if he’s going to hurt you, not definitively. Guess
what, Frankie? Nobody knows if love’s going to hurt them. You simply have to
take a chance.”
My breath comes fast and short. I fist the sheets, trying to breathe. God, I
fucked this up. So badly. I’m still terrified and insecure and insanely vulnerable,
but she’s right. I’m right. If anyone is going to love me, if there’s anyone I want
to love and be worthy of loving, it’s Ren. And when he showed me how much he
felt that way about me, I pushed him away. Because this is frightening.
Beautifully, vulnerably frightening.
I try to smile at her. “It’ll be fine. I’m okay.”
She cocks an eyebrow. “Really? ’Cause you look like you’re trying not to
shit yourself.”
I groan. “You know I can’t smile on command.”
“So why try with me?”
“Smiling conveys all-right-ness. I’m trying to show you that I can handle
this.”
“Hey.” Lo squeezes my hand. “Yes, you’re going to be all right. And yes,
you can handle this. But guess what?”
“What?”
She smiles. “You don’t have to do it alone.”
THREE WEEKS. LOTS OF BICKERING WITH LO, WHO JUST FINALLY LEFT MY PLACE
a few days ago, when she was confident that I wasn’t going to pass out in the
shower or spiral into another fit of anxious sobbing. Five tele-therapy sessions
with my counselor to actually talk through my hang-ups about having a
relationship.
I’m not fixed. I’m not perfect. And I never will be. But I’m healthy enough
to travel and ready to be brave. I can only hope Ren will find that’s enough for
him.
At the airport, I sit in the terminal, phone pinched between my ear and
shoulder.