V20 N46

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Page 18 EXIT ZERO December 22, 2022
It remained dislocated for
about 28 hours (10am Sunday to
around 2pm Monday) because
the little ball at the top of your
Humerus (arm bone) that goes
into the little pocket (rotator cuff)
in your shoulder that makes it
a shoulder, was snapped off so
they couldn’t reduce (replace) it.
Side note: I feel like a decent percentage
of being a doctor is just
knowing how to say stuff, but I
digress. Cath was in agony. And
if you ever want to feel completely
useless, stand next to a bed holding
your wife’s hand while she
shrieks in pain. Good stuff.
Over the next 30-ish hours
I did what I could to keep her
spirits up as she drifted in and
out. I eventually came back home
for work and, by the time you
read this, she should be home
recuperating. The rehab process
will be lengthy, but I expect her to
tackle it like she tackles me when
I forget to leave the seat down.
Aside from the 100s of people
who swamped our Facebook
pages, many others have stepped
up with food, gift cards and cold
hard cash. They’ll probably be
mad at me for mentioning it. But
that’s okay. I’m used to it. Thank
you Erin and Larry Beaver, Mike
O’Brien, Cindy Benigno, Mary
Beth Toewe, Sue Jordan (whom
I did NOT see at Jester’s), Dawn
Aftanis, Jen Wagner, Monica
Jude, Janet D’Aurizio, Cape
Island Foods and anyone else
I’ve forgotten who Venmo-ed or
dropped off a casserole. It was a
fraught several days, but we love
and appreciate all of you.
I tried in vain to keep most
of them from doing anything,
but swiftly discovered you can’t
keep good people from doing
good things. Once we have an
idea what her post-surgery plan
is and what our out-of-pocket
looks like, I may or may not start
a GoFundMe. The grim reality
is, famous as I am, I’m not very
rich. I am also virtually unemployed.
And, while I have a very
promising interview lined up, our
income will soon be shrinking.
So… here we are. We can’t wait
to get her home.
Last time I saw Terry O’Neil
two years ago he thought he was
dying. That’s why it was so nice
to see him at Cold Spring Brewery
Saturday night.
I caught Ed McDonough’s
latest “A Few Guys, A Few Songs,
A Few Stories” and was unsurprised
to hear that Cousin Ray
Heslip saw Wagner in concert.
Stopped in Jester’s after a gig,
wondered who was playing, then
heard Al Olivero’s voice about 20
feet from the front door. It was Al.
Al was playing.
How nice is Steve Bistak
of Cape Harbor Shell? So nice
that, even though I bust his
chops in here regularly, he still
recommended me for a gig over
stuffed olives in the Brown Room
to the owners of Duffinetti’s in
Wildwood. Honestly, you give
Steve Bistak enough stuffed
olives, he’ll tell you anything.
Door-to-door magazine
pick-up service has returned at
Evolution Salon & Spa in North
Cape May. Just in time for
Christmas!
With that blocked punt/
scoop/almost first down against
the Giants, Eagles P (punter for
you non-sports geeks) Arryn
Siposs joined John Teltschik on
the all-time Tough Punters list.
(Teltschik effectively ended his
career making a tackle on a punt
return.)
Next week will likely be
my last Undertow, so be sure to
check in as I spill ALL the tea
and produce ALL the receipts
on those who have wronged me!
BWAHAHA! (Lol jk, it’ll probably
be my usual, weepy, end-of-year
stuff only 10 percent more poignant
because it’s probably my
last but read it anyway.)
Come see me on Christmas
at the Brown Room, 12-4pm, with
Ray Palmer. Hope my Christmas
shopping done by then…
’Til next week, don’t get
caught in The Undertow.