A local woman missing- Mary Kubica

holding hands. I’m appalled that Cassandra would stoop so low as to
hurt my child in an effort to get back at me.
In the coming days, Leo continues to cry every time I leave him
with Charlotte. He clings to me and begs, “No, Mommy. No.” I feel
awful making him go. I think about calling in sick to work, staying
home with Leo. But doing so would only be a disservice to him,
because the days he has to go would then be ten times worse.
I make deals with Leo. I bargain with him. “If you don’t cry all
week, Mommy and Leo will do something special on the weekend.
Just you and me.” I tell him we’ll go to the children’s museum
together, or to the children’s garden at the arboretum if the weather
cooperates. His pick.
The mommy guilt is getting to me. I spend time thinking about
quitting the yoga studio, about taking on fewer clients, if any clients
at all. For as much as I love being a doula, I’ve been having
misgivings ever since the Tebow baby was born. I think of Jason and
Shelby often. I haven’t stayed in touch well enough. It’s hard to do.
The baby has suffered irreparable damage. I don’t know to what
extent. I’ve started to second-guess the way I handled things in the
labor and delivery room. I didn’t do everything in my power to protect
Shelby. I could have done more. I could have physically put myself
between Dr. Feingold and my client.
I call Jeanette. I tell her what happened. We talk it through.
As a midwife, Jeanette is one of the few people I know familiar
with my line of work.
“Maybe it’s time,” I tell her, “that I set my work aside and focus on
my own family for a change.”
She tells me the same thing I told Shelby. “You have to do what’s
best for your family. But, Meredith,” she says, “you handled Dr.
Feingold exactly as I would have. Don’t ever let yourself think you’re
not a good doula, or that you didn’t do everything you could for that
woman. You’re only human.”
All the time, I find myself staring out the window at Marty and
Cassandra’s house. I think that if Cassandra had the cunningness to
buy a burner phone, to follow me around town and send intimidating
texts, she’s capable of much worse. Are the texts only empty
threats? Or do I have a reason to fear for my family and my safety?