A local woman missing- Mary Kubica

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“I’m not feeling well.” It’s not a lie. Guilt isn’t only emotional. Itmanifests itself in very physical ways. My head aches. My backaches. My stomach is in knots, and I’m constipated. I could neverstay focused through class, much less make it through without thatoverwhelming urge to vomit or cry. I spend so much time ruminatingabout what Bea and I did that night, second-guessing the choices wemade, the choices I made. I can’t get away from it. I’m obsessed. Mymind is in a constant state of flux. I can think of nothing else but whathappened that night. I don’t sleep. I barely eat.“You need to act normal, Meredith. Normal.”I’m not particularly religious. Josh, the kids and I go to church onEaster and Christmas, but that’s all. Still, there’s a Bible verse that’sbeen running never-ending through my mind since sometime lastnight. The truth will set you free.It sounds so simple. I make the mistake of telling Bea.“We’ll make the police see it was an accident, that you didn’t meanto hit Shelby,” I say. “It was unpreventable. They’ll understand.”Bea stares at me, incredulous. “Have you lost your damn mind?”she snaps. “They’ll just fucking understand? I didn’t step on a bug. Ikilled a person. We, Meredith,” she says, “we killed a person.”I plead with her. “Please, Bea. I can’t go on living like this.”“You have to,” she says. “You have to figure it out.” She takes astep closer. “I was drunk, Meredith. And you knowingly permitted meto drive the car home. It’s your fault as much as it is mine. You’ll goto jail, too, you know, if we’re ever found out. How do you think Joshand the kids would fare while you’re rotting away in jail for years?”I’ve thought about this. I have an answer ready. “It’s not like theycan do a breathalyzer now. It’s too late to prove anything and, if youweren’t drinking, it’s a much lesser offense, like a misdemeanor.”For a second she just stares. And then, “Are you really that dumb?Since when did you turn into a lawyer, anyway?” I see now that Beaisn’t hamstrung by the same guilt as me.The Bea I know isn’t cruel. She’s compassionate. She’s outspokenbut kind. This Bea is scared. “We’re not just talking manslaughteranymore, or a misdemeanor,” she says. “Because we also carriedher out to the woods and hid her. That’s concealment of a homicide.”
She pauses for effect. “It’s time you set your fucking conscienceaside and think about your kids.”After she leaves, I collapse into an armchair. I don’t move until sixhours later when I hear Josh and the kids come home. I hear themoutside first. I try and make myself look busy before they come in.
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Praise forLocal Woman Missing“I
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Local Woman MissingMary Kubica
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Mary Kubica is the New York Times b
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LeoKateMeredithLeoMeredithKateMered
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PROLOGUE11 Years BeforeThere’s a
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thinking about his car, how warm it
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DELILAHNOWI hear footsteps. They mo
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my belly got to be so bad that I ha
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I do know for sure that there are s
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There ain’t much to work with in
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we ever want to get out of this pla
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when we don’t come, she says, “
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That lady hasn’t fed us since tha
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I bring the candy bar to my mouth.
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I call to Gus to hurry up. I don’
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direction so that soon I’m all tu
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back into the blackness of the shed
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I curl more tightly into my pill bu
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There’s a house outside. It’s b
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through a forest. Like the cornstal
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I shake my head. I don’t know not
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KATE11 YEARS BEFOREMayThere’s a k
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I pull open the door and the wind r
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life, a sense of purpose during tho
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down. In the city, raw sewage is le
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Maybe this was one of those times.
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disappears into the kitchen to keep
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I glance down at the phone in my ha
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think of anything I’ve done to up
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LEONOWTo be straight, I never thoug
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KATE11 YEARS BEFOREMayBea is in bed
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police, and became common knowledge
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me. But now I’m grateful for the
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moon is nearly full, giving off add
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Dad doesn’t know it but I’ve re
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It’s a media circus when we get h
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argument I want to have. I love the
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KATE11 YEARS BEFOREMayThe next morn
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long and straight because somehow,
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LEONOWThat first night in our house
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MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMarchI’ve
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I feel somewhat guilty for unloadin
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yesterday was the first time Meredi
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One by one people get in their cars
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puddles; Bea and I part ways and st
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“I’m so worried,” Cassandra s
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was looking at was human—that the
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and to the front door. She knocks o
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“That’s lovely,” I say.Bea as
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A body has been found.
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The coffee shop is new to me. It ha
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pay much attention to me that night
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An image of her husband forms: cyni
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the door. Other officers are inside
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The midwife replies, “Yes, of cou
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Later, early in the evening, we wat
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impression of a small castle. As lo
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Dad asks if you want him to tuck yo
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That’s when Mom turned the knife
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I write back, All first-time mother
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would be angry if the police showed
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Dad tells her, “I should have cal
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recollection I’d been hoping for.
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gray. Her eyes are gray. She has de
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He says reluctantly, “They found
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It’s as if Josh can read my mind.
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“What do you think, then,” he a
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quickly than most.“Thanks,” he
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play with Delilah. She makes fun of
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her face for signs of bruising. The
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I ask again. “Did he hurt you?”
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This is what you told the police: y
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MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMarchDinner
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remember, Leo, how this happened?
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KATE11 YEARS BEFOREMayThe next morn
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MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREAprilOver th
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The kids and I still stand outside,
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Bea stops me there. She takes charg
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KATE11 YEARS BEFOREMayDr. Feingold
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knot. We picked them out together,
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“Yes, sir,” I say, shifting my
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“She had a baby recently. It was
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I’m flat on my back. I can’t se
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MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREAprilShelby
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Within an hour a nurse comes in to
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“Of course,” I say.“I think S
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What his patients like about Dr. Fe
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the next contraction, he instructs
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I turn on the car and begin to driv
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Bea takes a cursory glance in the s
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go home. I can’t lead this indivi
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I spent a lot of time on those miss
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MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMayThe Tebow
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I should trust him enough to tell h
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There’s more urgency about gettin
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MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMayI haven
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I regret my choice of words immedia
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“Cassandra, if Marty is seeing an
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Page 201 and 202: Piper Hanaka is your age. She’s t
Page 203 and 204: KATE11 YEARS BEFOREMayThe rest of t
Page 205 and 206: conversation—spoken in some other
Page 207 and 208: it that left me feeling violated an
Page 209 and 210: Outside the storm rages. It’s mor
Page 211 and 212: to see Bea’s expression, I see he
Page 213 and 214: house, so close to the circuit brea
Page 215 and 216: MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMayI can’t
Page 217 and 218: I won’t tell him now. I don’t w
Page 219 and 220: dancing has made him thirsty. Our d
Page 221 and 222: I’m the only one who doesn’t ha
Page 223 and 224: KATE11 YEARS BEFOREMayThree things
Page 225 and 226: parking lot, a 1970s neon sign flas
Page 227 and 228: MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMayMy eyes a
Page 229 and 230: Babies,” I tell her. I’d just g
Page 231 and 232: “I know her, Bea,” I say, and I
Page 233 and 234: We haul Shelby to the back end of t
Page 235 and 236: grimace. The coloration of her skin
Page 237 and 238: trees were here before the homes. T
Page 239 and 240: “It’s not your fault,” Dad sa
Page 241 and 242: MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMayThe next
Page 243 and 244: if I told the truth, it might get b
Page 245 and 246: I obsess over this. I try to replay
Page 247 and 248: LEONOWBefore bed, Dad comes into my
Page 249: MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMayI can’t
Page 253 and 254: that I shared with Delilah. My mom
Page 255 and 256: MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMay“I have
Page 257 and 258: in the trunk, and whether she was d
Page 259 and 260: But the longer he stares at those p
Page 261 and 262: better than that. You’re never su
Page 263 and 264: MEREDITH11 YEARS BEFOREMayIn the mi
Page 265 and 266: Who would care for her special need
Page 267 and 268: Bea comes fully into the garage.
Page 269 and 270: Another change comes over Bea. She
Page 271 and 272: hands. Her hair spills across her f
Page 273 and 274: It’s taking a long time for you t
Page 275 and 276: Bea is in the driver’s seat. Bea
Page 277 and 278: hers, gathering dollar bills. She l
Page 279 and 280: vacant or nearly vacant right now,
Page 281 and 282: friendship has waned over the years
Page 283 and 284: the building, and it’s upstairs.
Page 285 and 286: My question goes unanswered.Where a
Page 287 and 288: to climb, their movements in sync.
Page 289 and 290: remembers that when Bea came back,
Page 291 and 292: I hang up before she can say more.
Page 293: ISBN-13: 9781488073960Local Woman M
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A local woman missing- Mary Kubica

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