Sheffield United vs Preston North End

UTB 39
I watched him make his way down the
stand, turn right at the front, walk up to the
poor steward who was trying to stop the
makeshift gate fashioned blow away or, in
the weather simply dissolve, and then saw
his head proceed down John Street, cross
Bramall Lane and enter that kingdom of
excitement and promise known better as
the Cricketers Arms to drown his sorrows.
I think it was around this time in the
game that I became aware of a solitary
crisp packet, seemingly being blown
around the pitch in the same way that
supporters' hopes were being savagely
booted in the crotch by those fabled
footballing Gods, and after a while the
crisp bag became far more interesting than
the game.
I mean, why was it there? Had it come
to the game alone and if not, where were
its mates? I couldn’t quite make out the
brand or, indeed the flavour, and that in
itself cannot always be judged by the
colour of it, can it? I mean in the real world,
cheese and onion crisps should be in a
blue bag, it’s the rule, but I know that some
firms actually put them in a green bag,
which I believe is just plain wrong. Another
problem is that prawn cocktail from one
company, from a distance, can look very
like their ready salted, and again that’s just
not right – far too much ambiguity!
As the bag danced across the playing
surface, it struck me that it was displaying
far more skill than many of our players
that day, and it also became apparent
to me that the bag was actually far more
entertaining than the game I had been
watching. It also struck me that the lager
we had been drinking prior to the game
was, indeed, far too strong, especially
as I was finding myself bonding with the
wrapping for some savoury comestibles.
The Huddersfield ‘keeper tried to boot
it out of the way, and it simply did a Cruyff
turn and eluded him. It then stuck to his
▲ A bright new dawn starts with the construction
of the new John Street Stand
right boot as it tried to block his attempts
to clear the ball and he nearly slipped on
his backside trying to remove it from his
Stylo matchmaker. How I laughed.
The bag went in the back of the Terriers
net far more than the ball did and I believe
that it got voted as Blades player of the
game that day, then, as quickly as ‘Old
Baggy’ had appeared, he was off, spirited
away by a sudden gust of wind, off over
the remains of the old stand, probably
looking for a pint with my mate.
From then on, I have always had a
fascination for a football bag. They remind
me of a time when I would probably have
enjoyed Meadowhall more than Bramall
Lane but, like all of us, I need my fix, and
probably always will. Within days, Howard
Kendall had come through the front doors
as they smuggled Dave out of the back.
Gordon Cowans, Andy Walker, Michel
Vonk and others arrived, and things began
to change. We finished ninth, got the stand
rebuilt and reached the play-off final the
following year. What was the panic, and
more to the point, what WAS the flavour?
SHEFFIELD UNITED vs PRESTON NORTH END