MARCH 2008

love iraqi style
Weddings from the homeland can be elaborate affairs
BY VANESSA DENHA-GARMO
Awedding is a wedding? So you think.
In Iraq, not only is how the couples
happen to marry an untold story, but
each celebration plays out in its own
special way.
“There is not much difference in the
actual liturgy in Iraq opposed to here in
America,” said Fr. Manuel Boji. “However,
the celebration can last for days there.
Sometimes they go for a week.” Each day
of celebrations vary in tradition and flare.
In some traditional weddings, more
common a generation ago, the entire
event would last days – starting out with a
proposal, Chaldean style. A few people
from the groom’s family would go the girl’s
home and ask for her hand in marriage. If
the girl’s family agrees, the groom’s family
claps and halholes.
Next, a priest would bless the engagement.
In some villages years ago, only the
groom’s family would celebrate while for
the bride’s family it was almost a time of
sadness because they were losing a daughter.
After the engagement, a date was set
for the actual nuptials — often just days
after the couple engaged.
The preparations began. Women of the homes
would prepare the wedding; they sewed colorful
cloths at home and wore only their best garments
and jewelry. One of the celebratory days before the
actual exchange of vows was loukma (bread) day.
They would bake bread and gather family and friends
to enjoy. The bread was a pizza-size flat loaf flavored
Karim and Najat Dado, 1973
with sesame and other seasonings. While it baked,
the women sang songs, halholed and rejoiced.
The day of the henna (dying of the hands)
would occur a day or two before the actual wedding.
It is a sign of making the wedding colorful and joyful
— dressing up the day. Family members put
henna in the palm of their hands, then wrap the
hand in a cloth and go to sleep, awaking
with a colorful design. The grooms’ family
visited the bride’s home with henna and
candy. The bride would get the henna first
and the entire groom’s family would also
get the henna, but not the brides’ family.
In some towns some families would take
dolma (stuffed grape leaves) to the henna.
The night before the wedding, families
would sing, drink and enjoy mezza (light
appetizers) and arak (liquor). In the morning,
entire towns sometimes went to the
mass. On some occasions, only a few members
of the bride’s family attended the mass.
After that, all the guests would lead the
bride and groom around town with musicians
playing tabul (drums). They’d even
venture to the outskirts of town, landing in
a big field where they sang and danced.
In the evening, all returned home to
eat, drink and have mezza. The celebration
continued to the next morning. The
next day, close friends and family members
of the groom took food to his family
to continue the celebrations. All day, they
sang, danced, drank and rejoiced. This
continued to the third day; finally by that
night the wedding celebrations wound down.
Exhausted and overjoyed, life then began for the
married couple.
Here’s a glance at four weddings from the homeland.
LOVE IRAQI STYLE
Continued on page 46
the wedding guide
“THE LOVE WE GIVE AWAY IS THE ONLY LOVE WE KEEP.”
– ELBERT HUBBARD
44 CHALDEAN NEWS MARCH 2008