Uncle Andy's Digest - February 2024

Wedding Time
Submitted by Steve Simard
Little Timmy was attending
his first wedding.
After the service,
his younger cousin
Tommy asked him,
“How many women
can a man marry?”
“Sixteen,” Little Timmy
responded.
Tommy was amazed
that he knew the answer
so quickly. Then
asked, “How do you
know that?”
Forget the butterflies, I feel the whole zoo when I’m with you.
DON’T KNOW
WHAT TO DO
NEXT? WE DO. ®
For any disaster,
call ServiceMASTER!
“Easy,” Little Johnny
said.
WATER
FIRE
MOLD
“All you have to do
is add it up, like the
Preacher said: 4 better,
4 worse, 4 richer, 4
poorer.”
Like A Baby
Submitted by Steve Simard
While the U.S. stock
market is at an all time
high, the ups and downs
frightened a lot of small
investors.
Tom went to his financial
adviser at the bank and
asked if he were worried.
The financial adviser
replied, “I sleep like a
baby.”
Tom amazed, asked,
“Really? Even with all
the fluctuations?”
29 Brickyard Circle, Auburn
(800) 244-7630
(207) 539-4452
Do you have a date for Valentine's Day? Yes, it's February 14.
The first valentine
was sent in the 15th
century.
The oldest record of a valentine
being sent, according to History.com, was
a poem written by a French medieval duke
named Charles to his wife in 1415. Charles
penned this sweet note to his lover while he
was imprisoned in the Tower of London at just
21 years old. One of the lines in the poem?
"I am already sick of love, My very
gentle Valentine." Swoon!
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Advisor says, “Yes. I
sleep for a couple of
hours, then wake up
and cry for a couple of
hours.”
Uncle Andy’s Digest
30 February 2024
Let’s cuddle so I can steal your heat.