Chanukah 5770/2009 - Jewish Infertility

Chizuk
SHAAREI TIKVAH/ CHANUKAH 2009
several earlier Chanukahs how difficult it was for me to be
part of a child-blessed family with empty arms of my own,
my in-laws devised this clever tactic to accomplish both
sides of their complicated tasks; to be devoted grandparents
to their fast multiplying brood
while not stepping on the painful
bunion on my toe.
There were some Chanukahs where
the conversations were so one track
minded and too boring-slashuncomfortable
for me to be around. At
such times I would simply leave the dining
room where the adults were chattering
and singing, and joined the very
children whose presence were tugging
at my heart. There, I became a kid
again, dancing and singing and swinging
and conversing with anyone age twelve
and down. I felt important; I felt
needed; I was the aunt who lowered
herself to their level, instead of the parent
who was glad she was getting a
break.
In another attempt to feel involved
in the party, I was usually unofficially in
charge of the evening's entertainment.
It was no easy feat. Eventually after
much brain-wracking I would manage
to come up with some form of madlibs or guess-the-name
picture game with computer printouts.
Oddly enough, at my parents' home, I felt quite the opposite.
The grandchildren on my side of the family, in those
Suddenly the
topics of conversation
were
bearable,
productive, and
riveting. Everyone
was in on
the "in" jokes, no
one had their
midsection
stared at
days, could be counted on the fingers of one hand. It was
not necessary to make a grand production of hiding the
gifts, since there were so few gifts. One year I devised a plan
of my own to feel more involved: I purchased inexpensive
trinkets and gave my nieces and
nephews little present of my own. Unfortunately
some of them feel flat, as I
wasn't all that up to speed on the fads of
the current generation, and many a
niece pouted at the "worthless" gadgets
she had gotten….
After all was said and done, and I had
survived the family parties intact, there
was one more beacon of light beckoning
in the distance, a thin thread of rope to
hang onto. A brave A T.I.M.E. soul quietly
scheduled a Chanukah gathering at
the home of the compatriot. A bunch of
us got together, and there we sang,
played fun games, and kidded around.
Suddenly the topics of conversation
were bearable, productive, and riveting.
Everyone was in on the "in" jokes, no one
had their midsection stared at, and all of
us were equally successfully putting our
pain aside for one night. It was
Chanukah after all, and the candles were
flickering brightly. Thank you A TIME
for making Chanukah easier on all of us and always being
there when we need a place to call home.
May we all be zocheh to see light, and may this year be
the easiest Chanukah ever for all of us!
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