a guide to supporting children exposed to domestic violence

Clara’s story
Nobody in the office realized that Clara was being abused, and admired her
handsome husband Rick. Sometimes he sent her flowers, or arrived to take her out
for dinner. She always left work promptly, refusing to join after-work activities.
When she arrived one day with a black eye, her co-workers readily accepted her
explanation that she’d accidentally banged into a kitchen cupboard. Even though
Clara appeared thin, pale, tense, and preoccupied, she always told people that she
was “fine, thank you.”
Usually Clara hurried home from work to prepare food that Rick liked and waited
anxiously to see what mood he was in when he got home. She had little time or
energy to devote to her three children, and felt frustrated and angry when they were
whiny and demanding. She often felt guilty and thought that she was useless as a
wife, as a mother, and as a secretary.
• feel ugly, uninteresting, and think nobody likes you
• have problems with your memory and concentration
• feel numb, empty, and out of touch with your feelings
• feel depressed, sad, and guilty; have suicidal thoughts
• feel tense, anxious, fearful and upset; have panic attacks
• feel angry, irritable, and cranky most of the day
• find yourself turning to alcohol or drugs to make you feel better
• have headaches, stomach aches, vomiting, or diarrhoea
• develop sexual problems, bladder infections, or other genito-urinary problems
• lose your appetite, have poor sleep, low energy, and constant fatigue
• develop high blood pressure, palpitations, or other heart problems
• get frequent infections such as colds or the flu
• get skin rashes or have hair falling out.
HELPING MY CHILD A GUIDE TO SUPPORTING CHILDREN EXPOSED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 12