a guide to supporting children exposed to domestic violence

Getting help from your child’s school
School staff can be extremely supportive and provide assistance for your child.
They need to know about the family situation. Children who are tense, unhappy,
or worried about their mother’s safety at home are likely to have trouble
concentrating on their school work.
The children’s unhappiness and anger may spill over onto other children. For
example, they may get into fights and arguments in the playground.
Instead of resenting a child’s difficult behaviour or inability to complete their
schoolwork, teachers and counsellors can understand where the problems are
coming from.
You can:
• Tell school staff if you or your children are in danger from your abuser.
• Remind school staff that they should not give out any information about the
children.
• Advise the school of any changes in routine, such as a change in your work
hours.
• Tell school staff if you have a restraining order or a peace bond instructing your
abuser to stay away from the children. They will probably want a copy. Schools
should enforce the order by calling the police if necessary.
Ensure that the bus company is aware of any possible problems or of a
restraining order or peace bond if there is one.
These days many teachers and school counsellors are overworked, but here are
some things they may be able to do:
• Set up regular sessions for your child with a school counsellor in a private area
of the school.
• Allow a tense or upset child to leave class to go to the nurse’s office or the
principal’s office for some quiet time.
• Adjust expectations for schoolwork and homework.
• Find ways to help a child’s classmates be supportive without telling them about
the family’s private problems.
With your permission, teachers and school counsellors may be able to cooperate
with other counsellors and support persons working with your family. They can
work with you on a safety plan to try to keep your children safe and help with
any problems.
HELPING MY CHILD A GUIDE TO SUPPORTING CHILDREN EXPOSED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 51