a guide to supporting children exposed to domestic violence

4
Protecting yourself and your children
THIS CHAPTER LOOKS AT
your safety: always the first priority
obstacles you may face if you decide to leave
getting help with particular challenges
managing stress and taking care of yourself
taking legal action
what to expect if you leave an abusive relationship
Your safety: always the first priority
This refers particularly to relationships where your partner is physically or sexually
abusive or threatens you with harm.
• Even if you have left your partner, you may still have to deal with abusive
behaviour.
• You need to remember that you can’t control your partner’s behaviour. But there
are steps that you can take that will increase your safety.
• Any woman who is abused by her partner is constantly assessing the risks she
faces. She develops ways to try to protect herself and her children, which she
uses and adapts on a daily basis.
• You have probably already done a number of things to try to keep you and the
children safe. The things you do to keep safe are your safety plan, even though
you may not have used the term, “safety plan.”
• Each woman’s safety plan is unique to her and her situation. Many women find
it helpful to actually make a safety plan because it is difficult in a crisis to think
clearly and make safe decisions.
• There is an outline for a safety plan in the Resources section. You could use
this outline to develop your own safety plan.
• Try to get help with developing your safety plan. The section in chapter 7,
“Finding information and support in your community” has suggestions of who
might help.
HELPING MY CHILD A GUIDE TO SUPPORTING CHILDREN EXPOSED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 23