a guide to supporting children exposed to domestic violence

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• Bank books, cheque book, credit cards, mortgage or loan papers • Lease/rental agreement, property deed, business or your partnership agreements, rent or mortgage payment receipts • Address book • Photograph of my (ex) partner to help identify him or her • A list of other items I can pick up later In case I have to leave suddenly: • I can keep my purse, wallet, personal identification, keys and other emergency items _______________________________________________________________ • I can open a separate bank account in my name at _________________________ I will request that any bank statements be sent to ______________________________________________________________________ so my abuser doesn’t see them. • I can also check how much money is in our joint account in case I need to remove half the money quickly. If my abuser knows my account or PIN number I will_________________________________________________________________ • I can help my children escape by telling them ______________________________________________________________________ I will teach them the number of the local police ___________________________ and other emergency numbers such as ___________________________________ • I will review my safety plan every ________________________________________ WHAT I CAN DO DURING A VIOLENT INCIDENT I must be able to think and act quickly in order to keep myself and my children safe during a violent episode. Here are some of the things I can do to increase my safety: • I can make sure I can grab my clothes and/or my children’s clothes quickly by _______________________________________. If my abuser asks me what I am doing I will tell him/her _______________________________________________ HELPING MY CHILD A GUIDE TO SUPPORTING CHILDREN EXPOSED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 64
• I trust __________________________ and ______________________ to tell them about my situation. I will use the code word ______________________ to let them know I am in danger and to contact police immediately. • I can use the code word _______________ with my children so that they can protect themselves during a violent incident. • I will look in each room and figure out the best way to escape. I will try to stay out of places such as the bathroom and the kitchen if there is no outside exit. I will also try to avoid places where guns and knives are kept. • On the main floor, the best way to get out is ______________________________________________________________________ • On the second floor, the best way to get out is ______________________________________________________________________ • In the basement, the best way to get out is ______________________________________________________________________ • I will use my judgment and intuition. If the situation is very dangerous I should consider ______________________________________________________________ to calm down my abuser. I will remember that my first priority is to keep myself and my children safe. • I will review and revise this safety plan every ______________________________ MY CHILDREN’S SAFETY • I know that the best thing my children can do for me during a violent episode is to get away and protect themselves. I can tell them to ______________________________________________________________________ if they see me being abused. • I can teach them to pick a safe room like ________________________________, preferably with a lock and access to a telephone. It is important to me and to them that they get out of the room where the abuse is occurring as soon as possible. HELPING MY CHILD A GUIDE TO SUPPORTING CHILDREN EXPOSED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 65
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HELPING MY CHILD a guide to support
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Contents Welcome We will focus on y
Page 5 and 6:
7 Getting help for you and your chi
Page 7 and 8:
Welcome This guide is for mothers w
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• controlling all money and purch
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Many women describe the so-called h
Page 13 and 14: 3 How violence hurts children THIS
Page 15 and 16: Charlene’s story Charlene’s fat
Page 17 and 18: Tommy’s story Tommy clung to his
Page 19 and 20: Johnny’s story Mrs. T., the grade
Page 21 and 22: When a woman is being abused and ha
Page 23 and 24: 4 Protecting yourself and your chil
Page 25 and 26: • If you start looking for helpfu
Page 27 and 28: • If you decide to leave your hus
Page 29 and 30: ◗ ◗ ◗ Telephone: 604-874-1831
Page 31 and 32: • You may have pooled your earnin
Page 33 and 34: ◗ ◗ Refuse to pay child support
Page 35 and 36: • My behaviour was not OK. Violen
Page 37 and 38: Roseanna‘s story Shortly after Ro
Page 39 and 40: CHILDREN NEED GUIDANCE This include
Page 41 and 42: Here are some basic principles of w
Page 43 and 44: • If they continue to hit/swear,
Page 45 and 46: may be multicultural programs, and
Page 47 and 48: • working on the after-effects of
Page 49 and 50: COUNSELLING FOR CHILDREN WITH MENTA
Page 51 and 52: Getting help from your child’s sc
Page 53 and 54: PEACE BOND If the abuser has not be
Page 55 and 56: IF: • You cannot represent yourse
Page 57 and 58: Western Canada Society to Access Ju
Page 59 and 60: • There are many programs for imm
Page 61 and 62: Using the Internet to get informati
Page 63: 9 Resources Safety Plan Making a sa
Page 67 and 68: • I can also tell my children abo
Page 69 and 70: How I can increase my safety at wor
Page 71 and 72: • I can ask _____________________
Page 73 and 74: Clover’s Secret. In this fantasy
Page 75 and 76: PUBLISHER DETAILS Odin Books 1110 W
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a guide to supporting children exposed to domestic violence

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