a guide to supporting children exposed to domestic violence

Parmajeet’s story
Parmajeet’s husband threatened to kill her and their baby if she tried to leave. He
insisted that the baby be left in the basement if she cried. Parmajeet was
depressed, had no energy, cried frequently, and had little breast milk. The baby lost
weight, cried and fussed constantly, and did not show any interest in being picked
up.
Parmajeet was too scared to tell the doctor what was happening at home, so he
admitted the baby to the hospital for assessment. In the safety of the hospital, the
baby began to gain weight and Parmajeet told a nurse about the violence at home.
With the help of a multicultural worker, Parmajeet and the baby went to a transition
house.
When a woman is being abused and has a baby:
• She may be upset, preoccupied and fearful. She may even feel terrified and
helpless.
• She may be unable to give the baby as much care and attention as she would
like. The tension and stress in the household may affect the baby. The baby
may react by crying excessively, eating or sleeping poorly, developing slowly,
getting sick often, or being very fearful with loud noises.
TODDLERS
Between the ages of one and three, toddlers are developing and learning very
fast. Like babies, they still depend on their parents/caregivers to provide food,
warmth, shelter and protection, and thrive on structure and routines. They have
learned to crawl or walk and have no sense of danger. Someone must be
supervising them at all times.
Living with an active toddler can be very hard work.
With help from parents, toddlers gradually learn what is acceptable behaviour, to
use the toilet, to feed themselves, and to communicate with words rather than
crying or pointing. They learn by imitating their parents and older brothers and
sisters, by being praised for their accomplishments, by looking at picture books
and TV programs, by responding to their parent’s directions, and by trial and error
on their own.
Some toddlers go to daycare or preschool where they begin to learn how to
interact with other children. Toddlers tend to play “in parallel,” next to rather than
HELPING MY CHILD A GUIDE TO SUPPORTING CHILDREN EXPOSED TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE 16