Discovering the New Covenant by Greg Taylor - exAdventist Outreach

DISCOVERING THE NEW COVENANT
with an unconfessed sin on their record. 5 That single sin
could mean being eternally lost. As I look at it now, I
believe the primary reason I was so interested in these last
day events was so that I could figure out how the events
would transpire in order to know when I needed to get
really serious about getting my life together. I might be
able to gather enough strength to do a last minute sprint to
the end. But I knew I could not be good enough for long
enough if I started too soon!
As a teen, I became discouraged with the whole idea of
living the Christian life. I grew increasingly aware of my
total inability to live up to perfection. In fact, it seemed that
I was getting worse. My body was developing, and I was
struggling with new temptations. Much of the time I was
failing to resist. I would respond whenever someone would
make an appeal to seek God’s forgiveness, but the next day
I would fall back into old patterns of thinking and behavior.
I felt that I was a total failure. No one ever told me that
grace was a free gift and that my forgiveness was provided
past, present and future in Jesus Christ. I thought my past
was forgiven in Him, but I had to do the rest. I did not
understand that when we are in a relationship with Jesus,
His forgiveness is ours. He will change us. In the mean
time, we are counted righteous at every step of the way. No
one ever told me the good news. So I became increasingly
discouraged and eventually gave up entirely on the
Christian life. I decided that there was no hope for me. I
was going to burn anyway, so I might as well go with class.
I turned my back on God altogether and went into a season
of complete rebellion.
During the next four years I did everything I could to
self-destruct. As I look back on it now, I believe I had a
death wish. I was so miserable. I spent those years getting
high or drunk virtually non-stop. My hippie-type lifestyle
had no boundaries. Yet I found no peace or rest from the
5 Ellen G. White, The Spirit of Prophecy, Vol. 4, pp.307-315
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