The-Tibetan-Book-of-Living-and-Dying

390 APPENDIX THREEhundred thousand suns, shining from Vajrasattva's body and enteringme, and I just take it in. When I see a beautiful person walking downthe street, I might in the beginning think, "What a nice-looking person,"but the next instant I am offering that up to Padmasambhavawith my full heart, and letting it go. You have to take real life situationsand make them your practice. Otherwise you will have only anempty belief that gives you no solace, no strength, when hard timesstart. It's just a belief: "Oh, some day, I'll go to heaven. Someday I'llbe a Buddha." Well, some day you won't be a Buddha. You are aBuddha, now. And when you practice, you are practicing at beingwho you areIt's very important to take situations that are occurring in your lifeand use them. As Rinpoche keeps saying, if you have practiced callingout and asking for help, then in the bardos it will be natural to dothe same... I made a mantra out of this line by Dudjom Rinpoche:"Lama of unrepayable kindness, I only remember you." Some days, itis all I can manage to think; it is the only practice I can get out. But itworks great.So ... happiness, self-responsibility, gratitude ... don't confuse adead, ritualistic practice for a living, ongoing, changing, fluid, opening,glorious practice. Because, and it's my experience right now—and Iknow it sounds like words perhaps, but I know in my heart it'snot—I see Padmasambhava everywhere. That's just my practice.Every person, especially the difficult ones, who make life difficult forothers, encountering them is the blessing of the master. To me thisillness is the blessing of the master. It is grace. So much grace I couldchew on it.But this has happened because I have trained my mind... WhenI started, I used to judge things constantly in my mind. I would judgethis person; I would judge that one. I would judge the way helooked; I would judge the way she sat; I would judge, "I don't liketoday, it's too rainy, too gray. Oh, poor me ... Oh love me ... Ohhelp!" So I started with that. It was just a constant commentary inmy mind. But I made a start. I would write myself little notes andstick them on my refrigerator. "Don't judge!"When you live in your mind—that is choosing between this andthat, "This is good ... this is bad, I don't want it," between hope andfear, between hate and love, between joy and sorrow, when you areactually grasping for one of those extremes—the essential peace ofyour mind is disturbed. A Zen patriarch says: "The Great Way is notdifficult for those who have no preferences." Because your buddhanature is there. Happiness is everywhere.So I began to work with my conceptual mind. At first it seemedlike an impossible thing to do. But the more I practiced at it... Ifound out: If you leave the risings in their own place, they are perfectlyfine, where they are. Just be with them, and be happy, becauseyou know you have the buddha nature.