Blackout_ Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget - Sarah Hepola

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Copyright This memoir reflects the author’s life faithfully rendered to the best of her ability. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of others. Copyright © 2015 by Sarah Hepola Cover design by Henry Sene Yee Jacket photo by Herman Estevez Cover copyright © 2015 by Hachette Book Group, Inc. All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights. Grand Central Publishing Hachette Book Group 1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10104 hachettebookgroup.com twitter.com/grandcentralpub First ebook edition: June 2015 Grand Central Publishing is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Grand Central Publishing name and logo is a trademark of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Hachette Speakers Bureau provides a wide range of authors for speaking events. To find out more, go to www.hachettespeakersbureau.com or call (866) 376-6591. The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher. The author is grateful to Salon, Nerve, and The Morning News, where some of the material in Blackout first appeared in a different form. This is Water: Some Thoughts, Delivered on a Significant Occasion, about Living a Compassionate Life by David Foster Wallace. Copyright © 2009 by the David Foster Wallace Literary Trust. Used by permission of Little, Brown and Company. ISBN 978-1-455-55457-7 E3
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Begin Reading Table of Contents New
Page 5 and 6:
PRELUDE
Page 7 and 8:
The guy isn’t bad-looking. Slight
Page 9 and 10:
WOMEN WHO DRINK I was 33, and lying
Page 11 and 12:
she did not get—but I’ve never
Page 13 and 14:
In my 20s, friends called with that
Page 15 and 16:
I discussed roofies with Aaron Whit
Page 17 and 18:
a while, a columnist would come alo
Page 19 and 20:
ONE
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when no one was looking, and I woul
Page 23 and 24:
steps, not talking. As much as my f
Page 25 and 26:
Our home was on a major artery thro
Page 27 and 28:
She’d transformed, like Olivia Ne
Page 29 and 30:
I threw up seven times. Hunched ove
Page 31 and 32:
STARVED One of the curious aspects
Page 33 and 34:
more successful her eating disorder
Page 35 and 36:
orrowed. She couldn’t miss the si
Page 37 and 38:
To make it more confounding, Miles
Page 39 and 40:
efused to be won. I drank cup after
Page 41 and 42:
DRESSING IN MEN’S CLOTHES I start
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coffee. But that seemed like a very
Page 45 and 46:
you to imperil our amazing friendsh
Page 47 and 48:
I FINALLY GOT a boyfriend near the
Page 49 and 50:
FOUR
Page 51 and 52:
The production guy passed my desk a
Page 53 and 54:
drank myself to the place where I w
Page 55 and 56:
ehind me, and told him I was moving
Page 57 and 58:
my Harp as soon I walked in the doo
Page 59 and 60:
FIVE
Page 61 and 62:
“Your key, mademoiselle,” said
Page 63 and 64:
My friend Meredith lived in an apar
Page 65 and 66:
“This was fun,” I said. He was
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OF COURSE. OF course I’d gone to
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like you should not be crying,” h
Page 71 and 72:
SIX
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When the bottle was drained, I’d
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But no, really, I had it this time.
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off a gargantuan diamond. I thought
Page 79 and 80:
INTERLUDE
Page 81 and 82:
ain, which allowed his body to deve
Page 83 and 84:
SEVEN
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But his once-sallow cheeks were ros
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announcing their baby. Nobody wants
Page 89 and 90: want to remain silent and unknowabl
Page 91 and 92: Bubba curled up alongside me when I
Page 93 and 94: EIGHT
Page 95 and 96: for me? My friends didn’t necessa
Page 97 and 98: ecause otherwise you have to go int
Page 99 and 100: said, and she was right. The next w
Page 101 and 102: fill-in-the-blank letter of apology
Page 103 and 104: NINE
Page 105 and 106: the tastes of a frat boy, or a grum
Page 107 and 108: Mine was a recipe for unhappiness.
Page 109 and 110: He tugged too hard, then I tugged t
Page 111 and 112: SEX My first date in sobriety was w
Page 113 and 114: 30s to stare down a personal profil
Page 115 and 116: and said, “Look, I dressed up for
Page 117 and 118: “I’m thinking: Well, that was f
Page 119 and 120: he’s impotent or not, I don’t k
Page 121 and 122: ELEVEN
Page 123 and 124: the scorn of strangers. They skip t
Page 125 and 126: Addiction was the inverse of honest
Page 127 and 128: I worshipped alcohol, and it consum
Page 129 and 130: THIS IS THE PLACE A few months befo
Page 131 and 132: Anna and I have had 20 years of the
Page 133 and 134: saying in midsentence. My dad loses
Page 135 and 136: from here, I told myself. There wil
Page 137 and 138: ABOUT THE AUTHOR SARAH HEPOLA’S w
Page 139: Contents COVER TITLE PAGE WELCOME D
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