HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY

HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY REACH THE WORLD
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What happened is that when people are
dating (courting in many parts of the world)
opposites attract. On the other hand, in
marriage opposites tend to repel. This is what
makes marriage so challenging. As sinners, we
are inherently selfish. We are in love with our
own opinions and want everything to go our
way. The Bible states in Isaiah 53:6a: “All we
like sheep have gone astray; we have turned,
every one, to his own way…”
And it takes only a few weeks or months
after the honeymoon infatuation has finally
dissipated, to make the spouses impatient and
nasty with each other, everyone turning to his
own way.
Choices in marriage
God created marriage for our happiness and
joy. For marriage and other relationships to
be sustainable, we must follow the principles
given by God. In Galatians 5:22-23 the Bible
declares: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love,
joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against
such there is no law.”
Think about it. If these principles (fruit)
are operative in our relationships—especially
marriage—when there are differences of
opinion, tastes, likes and dislikes; practicing
bearing the fruit mentioned by Paul, will allow
us to handle variances with kindness, gentleness
and goodness, rather than anger, roughness and
indifference.
No marriage in the Bible is a model
marriage. Except for Adam and Eve before
the fall, every subsequent human marriage has
been imperfect. To have a Christian marriage
we must choose to be in a Christian marriage,
which is only functional when we employ
spiritual values given to us by God in the Bible.
Choosing a Christian marriage is like choosing
to be a Christian. It is a decision we must make
every day, like eating and breathing, to remain
healthy and strong. For marriage to remain
vibrant and viable, the people in the marriage
must regularly nurture their marriage, or soon
it will become feeble and die.
Making good choices in marriage is choosing
to practice the counsel of Ephesians 5:15-17
that says: “See that you walk circumspectly,
not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time
because the days are evil. Therefore do not be
unwise, but understand what the will of the
Lord is.” Also in Proverbs 1:5 it says: “A wise
man will hear and increase learning, and a man
of understanding will attain wise counsel.”
On the realities of marriage and the choices
spouses must make to keep their union strong,
Ellen G White 2 offers the following:
“Affection may be as clear as
crystal and beauteous in its purity,
yet it may be shallow because it has
not been tested and tried. Make
Christ first and last and best in
everything. Constantly behold
Him, and your love for Him will
daily become deeper and stronger
as it is submitted to the test of
trial. And as your love for Him
increases, your love for each other
will grow deeper and stronger.”
Commitment in marriage
Commitment is at the foundation of every
healthy and deeply fulfilling marriage. It is a
decision that every married person has to make
if he or she is to remain married. Christian
marriage in this respect, is not unlike all other
marriages that are in it for the long haul.
Every person has to decide on their level of
commitment, which will be commensurate
with their level of marital satisfaction.
Like other relationships in life, marriage
also experiences fluctuations. We often say
there are no perfect marriages because there
are no perfect people. So, perfection is not
synonymous to commitment. However,
commitment is sine qua non (indispensable)
for every viable marital relationship, just like
oxygen is needed to keep living.
Noted marriage and family researcher,
Scott M Stanley 3 suggests there are two types
of commitments: dedication and constraint.