HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY

Dedication is like an internalized commitment
to a project or a person. It expresses a person’s
greatest desire and interest in making sure
that something happens. On the other
hand, constraint is more like an obligation
to do something that left undone would
be catastrophic. While dedication is like an
influence compelling you to go forward,
constraint is like a power pushing you from
behind.
Dedication is operative in the Apostle Paul’s
description of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,
declaring:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It
does not envy, it does not boast, it
is not proud. It does not dishonor
others…it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but
rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres. Love never
fails…” (NIV)
Every marriage relationship needs both
dedication and constraint commitment;
the higher the level of dedication in the
relationship, the higher the level of satisfaction
will be as well. In those moments when
dedication is low, constraint commitment will
enable couples to make it through the dark
valleys that often affect marriage relationships.
However, each person in the marriage needs
to be committed to regaining dedication
commitment as quickly as possible, so that
marriage can be, as Ellen White suggests, “a
little heaven upon earth…” 4
Conclusion
We both enjoy food! And while we are
intentional about being temperate not only
about what we eat, but how much we eat,
it is also true that we relish certain foods
more than others and eat them with greater
frequency.
Deciding where we will eat—what kind
of food that is—after being on the road
for several days and finally getting home,
determines to a great extent the quality of our
marriage at that particular time. This is the test,
to a great extent, how well we are practicing
what we preach and how close to Jesus we have
remained.
The truth is, Christian marriage can only
be Christian when like true disciples we take
up our cross and follow Jesus in self-denial,
self-sacrifice, and being like Him in every way.
Being baptized church members is not enough
to keep our marriage healthy and strong.
Understanding that to be a disciple means you
have signed up to serve rather than to be served;
and you are looking for what you can give rather
than what you can get, is the secret to having a
marriage filled with dedication commitment, that
represents Jesus Christ without shame.
A crisis in marriage means there is a spiritual
crisis, regardless of how many Bible studies you
are involved in or how many people you are
leading to baptism. However, when you see your
marriage in the light of the cross, you willingly
take it up in Christ-like fashion, then you will
experience the joy that comes from trusting Jesus
to do for you what you cannot do for yourself.
This is the kind of marriage that becomes salvific
to your spouse, to your children, and to everyone
who is within your circle of influence.
As you purpose in your heart to take up your
cross today, it is our prayer that your marriage
will experience the transformational power that
brings joy, peace and love. In the words of John
Hugh McNaughton’s (1829-1891) song,
Love at Home
In the cottage there is joy,
When there’s love at home;
Hate and envy ne’er annoy,
When there’s love at home;
Roses bloom beneath our feet,
All the earth’s a garden sweet,
Making life a bliss complete,
When there is love at home.
Love becomes a way of life,
When there’s love at home;
SERMON
11
CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE AND THE CROSS