HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY

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Testament has to say about the Sabbath keeping habits of Jesus (Matthew 12:8-14; Mark 1:21; 2:27-28; 6:2; Luke 6:5-6; 13:10-17; 23:54-56; John 5:1-18; 7:22-24; 9:1-38) and recognize that the Sabbath is a day in which to do good for others. We encourage you to make Sabbath observance a happy time in which your family is engaged in activities that draw you closer to each other and closer Jesus. This can include being involved in service on behalf of others, which is a great summertime and year-round activity. Of course, like other values you have taught your children, until the principles are embraced fully by them they may not always do exactly as you have shared with them. However, in patience, continue to model and communicate your values to your children and God will bless you. We are praying for you. REPRINTED ARTICLE 87 Scriptures quotations credited to NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Reprinted from article first appeared in the May/June 2015 issue of Message p. 13. Used with permission. LONG SUMMER DAYS AND SABBATH-KEEPING
HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY REACH THE WORLD 88 Q - My husband and I have been divorced for almost five years, and we are still beefin’ with each other. Last week my 15-year-old daughter saw something I posted on Facebook about her dad that was pretty hateful. Of course, that was said only after he said some pretty hateful things about me. How do we stop this toxic cycle and coparent in a more positive way? A - We are really sorry to hear about this toxic cycle between you and your ex-husband. Below are several suggestions that will help you get your relationship on a different track. 1. Keep your business off Facebook, Twitter, and other social media outlets! Everybody on your “friends list” is not your friend. And even friends, who are trying to be supportive, may lead you down the wrong path. We’re pretty sure that when you or your husband posted your hateful remarks about each other, someone “liked” it. This type of affirmation is actually negative and not what you need to help you get your relationship on a right track. Resist the urge to make your private life public. Facebook is not private! Willie Oliver, PhD, CFLE and Elaine Oliver, MA, CFLE are Directors of the Department of Family Ministries at the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists World Headquarters in Silver Spring, Maryland, USA. CoParenting in a Toxic Ex-Relationship WILLIE AND ELAINE OLIVER 2. Manage your emotions One of the biggest challenges in coparenting after a divorce is managing emotions. No matter the reason for the divorce, there’s still pain. No one who gets married expects to get divorced. Divorce sepa rates two people who were intimately joined—emotionally, physically, and spiritually—and you will heal only as you go through an intentional process of forgiveness and reconciliation. Sometimes this requires help from a qualified professional, such as a pastor or counselor. 3. Focus on your children It is important that you put your children first. The people who are most hurt after a divorce are children. So making sure their emotional needs are cared for is essential to their future well-being, including success in school, how sick or healthy they will be, and managing their own future relationships. At this point you and your ex-husband need to learn to put the needs of your children before your own. Don’t ever put them in the middle and make them choose sides. 4. Commit to learning how to communicate better This is sound advice for everyone. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19, NIV). Everyone communicates daily,
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HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY

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