HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY

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2. Children, obey your parents. The second directive applies to how children should relate to their parents: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” Ephesians 6:1 [HERE YOU CAN USE A STORY OF OBEDIENCE TO PARENTS] Parents mean well for their children. They are not being arbitrary when they ask, or tell, their children to do something or when they forbid them from doing something. Ellen White makes a very important declaration when she writes: “One great reason why there is so much evil in the world today is that parents occupy their minds with other things than that which is all—important— how to adapt themselves to the work of patiently and kindly teaching their children the way of the Lord. If the curtain could be drawn aside, we should see that many, many children who have gone astray have been lost to good influences through this neglect. Parents, can you afford to have it so in your experience? You should have no work so important that it will prevent you from giving to your children all the time that is necessary to make them understand what it means to obey and trust the Lord fully.” White, 1952 The nature and results of obedience to parents is so important that the Bible lists them. Among them we find: Children, obey your parents in all things, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians 3:20 (ESV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1 (ESV) Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Proverbs 1:8 (ESV) The first two directives give us clear guidelines on how children should relate their parents. Honor them, and obey them, are the overarching principles in these two directives. 3. Parents, train your children. But the Bible does not provide directives only in one direction — how children should relate toward their parents. The Bible also has directives to parents so they know how to relate to their children. The third directive we will consider today is found in the Old Testament. “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 This text has brought confusion and misunderstanding to parents at times. The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary shares interesting insights: Many parents have taken this verse as sanction for forcing a child to follow the profession or trade they think he ought to. Thus they have brought sorrow and disappointment upon themselves, for the child, on growing up, often goes an entirely different way. The verse rather counsels parents to learn the way in which their particular child can be expected to be of most service to himself and others, and in which he will find most happiness. The specific station in life appointed for a man is determined by his capabilities. To every individual God has assigned a place in His great plan. God has equipped man with the capabilities needed to fill this special place. Therefore the choice of a lifework should be in line with the natural bent. The efforts of SERMON 15 GOD’S PLAN FOR PARENTS AND CHILDREN
HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY REACH THE WORLD 16 the parents and the child should be directed toward discovering the kind of work Heaven has already determined. Inspiration declares that this verse enjoins parents to “direct, educate, develop,” but that to do this “they must themselves understand the ‘way’ the child should go.” Nichol, 1977 Sometimes parents want their children to follow in their footsteps. A teacher wants his son to be a teacher, a lawyer wants her daughter to be a lawyer, a physician wants her son to be a physician, and a carpenter wants his son to be a carpenter. Parents can push their children to be what they had hoped to be but were not able to do. But in the process, they can be quenching their own children’s dreams and wishes for their future. Because children have different personalities and talents, their interests may not be the same as their parents; they may end up frustrated because they can’t pursue their own interests. As parents we need to understand that our first and most important responsibility is to lead them to God. This must be our focus rather than pushing our children on a specific career path. The following passage of scripture is the Shema which is recited morning and evening by Jews to the present. “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. And these words, which I command you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7 The apostle Paul adds: “Fathers... bring them (children) up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4). Train your child, through your example. Like a train has an engine and the cars follow it, your children will follow you, wherever you lead them, so lead them with a good example. Train them with patience, tenderness, and lots of love. Train them with the thought continually before your eyes that their soul is the first thing to be considered. Train them to have a good knowledge and understanding of the Bible. Train them to make of prayer a daily habit. Train them to attend church services regularly and to be engaged in the life and ministry of the church. Train them to support the church with their time, their talents, and with their treasure. Train them to learn and rely on faith as the key that unlocks heaven’s gates. Train them to be obedient, to God and to their parents. Train them to speak truthfully. Train them to know God, to trust God, to love God, to serve God, to share God, to live for God. 4. Parents, don’t exasperate your children In the New Testament we will find the last of the directives we will consider today. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” Colossians 3:21 Paul wrote those words to the church in Colossae, but he also wrote similar words to the church in Ephesus: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4). In that masterful compilation of Ellen White’s writings about children—Child Guidance—she
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