SEMINARS <strong>HEALTHY</strong> <strong>FAMILIES</strong> <strong>FOR</strong> <strong>ETERNITY</strong> SEMINARS 35
<strong>HEALTHY</strong> <strong>FAMILIES</strong> <strong>FOR</strong> <strong>ETERNITY</strong> REACH THE WORLD 36 WHEN YOUR MARRIAGE IS STRUGGLING, THE WORLD FEELS LIKE A SHAKY PLACE. BUT WHEN IT IS STRONG, YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CAN TAKE ON THE WORLD! MARRIAGE EXPERTS WILLIE AND ELAINE OLIVER SHARE THE PRINCIPLES THAT CAN MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE BETTER THAN EVER. Do you have a great marriage with a few sad times, or a sad marriage with a few great times? Your response to that question will reveal whether you feel connected—or disconnected—with your spouse. Most couples go into marriage expecting to have a terrific time. Why then are so many couples experiencing distress rather than the bliss they expected when they first got married? All of us know families that appear toxic in their daily interactions. The parents are constantly arguing, while the children often ignore directives from their parents and seem to be doing their own thing. Notwithstanding, just staying together year Willie Oliver, PhD, CFLE and Elaine Oliver, MA, CFLE are Directors of the Department of Family Ministries at the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists World Headquarters in Silver Spring, Maryland, USA. And They Lived Happily Ever After WILLIE AND ELAINE OLIVER after long year and seemingly managing their chaos demonstrates a high level of commitment. But for those of us who watch from a distance, it all seems highly stressful and quite dysfunctional. On the other hand, it is a joy to watch families whose commitment to each other is characterized by a high level of kindness, compassion, patience, forgiveness, humility, and teamwork. In reality, even though the family seems like a well-oiled machine, they face as many challenges as the previous one. The difference is that they have practiced and learned how to handle life’s daily stresses with a high level of grace, skill, and humor. So which of these two options does your family most closely resemble? The truth is, there are no perfect marriages because there are no perfect people. So, when we talk about having a marriage that feels connected, we are not talking about a marriage that has no problems. Rather, we are describing a couple that enjoys relatively high levels of satisfaction and stability in their marital relationship. In a connected marriage, the couple is intentional about fixing problems in their relationship and is committed to being kind, patient, understanding, and forgiving. To be sure, it takes commitment to remain connected in marriage and to build on the dreams each person brought to the marriage. But this kind of commitment is worth it: it contributes to the couple’s happiness, health, and quality of life.