HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY

HEALTHY FAMILIES FOR ETERNITY REACH THE WORLD
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• Giving you something – green
• Spending time with you – orange
• Hugging you – brown
• Making you feel very special – purple
• Something else – black
• Look at the colors you have used for circling and see
which ones you used the most.
• Look at the loving actions that the rest of your
family have circled most. What can you learn about
showing love to each other from doing this activity?
Talk about it:
• Tell each other about a time when you felt especially
loved by them or someone else.
• Complete the sentence…’The most loving thing
anyone could do me for me this week would be
to…’
12. Experiencing Joy
A happy heart makes the face cheerful.
Proverbs 15:13
Needs:
• Large sheets of flip chart paper or wall paper
• Or a large white board
• At the top of the paper or board write the phrase, ‘I
feel joyful when…’
• Marker pens or white board markers
What you do:
• Encourage everyone in your group or family to talk
about the times when they feel happy and joyful.
• Invite them to write something that helps them to
feel joyful on the paper or white board.
• Invite small children to draw pictures of the things
that make them feel joyful.
• If you use paper you can create a joyful poster
together that you can keep and pin on a bulletin
board.
Experiencing joy:
• When have you felt really happy recently?
• What was happening?
• Why do you think you felt so happy?
• How could you experience more of these happy
moments, and how could you share more of this
happiness with other people, especially those who
are sad and lonely?
• Thank God for every moment of sheer joy.
Balancing healthy emotions
HELPING CHILDREN (AND
OURSELVES) WITH NEGATIVE
EMOTIONS
Show by example
The most important way for children to learn
about feelings and how to express them is by watching
their parents and other adults. We can help them to
better manage their emotions by showing our feelings,
talking about our own emotions, and managing them
appropriately. If you’re sad, tell your child you’re sad,
explain simply why you are sad, and then tell them what
you plan to do to help you feel better. Or if you’re angry
with your child, calmly tell them that you are feeling angry,
why you’re feeling angry, and what you and your child can
do together to mend the situation. This helps your child
know how to name and express their feelings by talking
rather than by having tantrums.
Develop an emotional vocabulary
You can help children to develop an emotional
vocabulary even before they start to talk! But any time is a
good time. When we have words to describe our feelings
we can tell each other what we are feeling instead of
sulking or throwing tantrums. Use words to describe what
your child might be feeling. ‘You’re looking sad. It’s sad to
say goodbye when we have to leave our friends.’ ‘It’s very
frustrating when your little brother pulls your train set to
pieces. It can make you feel quite cross inside. Here, let me
help you fix it again.’
Respond to the feelings under the behavior
Instead of ‘reacting’ to your child’s misbehavior,
respond to the negative feelings that are fueling their
actions. Keep in mind that most of a child’s behavior is
an expression of their emotions. When they are calm and
happy they will play peacefully and happily. When they
are distressed, and don’t know how to talk about it, they
are much more likely to hit out, smash toys, kick, scream
and yell. As a parent it is so easy to focus on the behaviors
rather than the feelings. So we might become angry with
the child, and that will only add to their distress and the
complex emotions they are trying to manage, and make it
more difficult for them to calm down and talk. But if you
see Tammy throwing her toys around, or about to hit her
little brother, ask yourself: “I wonder if Tammy is feeling
sad, lonely, frustrated, hungry or tired?” When you have