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17<br />
Blindsided. That's how I feel when Haymitch tells me in the hospital. I fly down the steps to Command, mind<br />
racing a mile a minute, and burst right into a war meeting.<br />
"What do you mean, I'm not going to the Capitol? I have to go! I'm the <strong>Mocking</strong>jay!" I say.<br />
Coin barely looks up from her screen. "And as the <strong>Mocking</strong>jay, your primary goal of unifying the districts<br />
against the Capitol has been achieved. Don't worry--if it goes well, we'll fly you in for the surrender."<br />
The surrender?<br />
"That'll be too late! I'll miss all the fighting. You need me--I'm the best shot you've got!" I shout. I don't usually<br />
brag about this, but it's got to be at least close to true. "Gale's going."<br />
"Gale has shown up for training every day unless occupied with other approved duties. We feel confident<br />
he can manage himself in the field," says Coin. "How many training sessions do you estimate you've attended?"<br />
None. That's how many. "Well, sometimes I was hunting. And...I trained with Beetee down in Special<br />
Weaponry."<br />
"It's not the same, Katniss," says Boggs. "We all know you're smart and brave and a good shot. But we<br />
need soldiers in the field. You don't know the first thing about executing orders, and you're not exactly at your<br />
physical peak."<br />
"That didn't bother you when I was in Eight. Or Two, for that matter," I counter.<br />
"You weren't originally authorized for combat in either case," says Plutarch, shooting me a look that signals<br />
I'm about to reveal too much.<br />
No, the bomber battle in 8 and my intervention in 2 were spontaneous, rash, and definitely unauthorized.<br />
"And both resulted in your injury," Boggs reminds me. Suddenly, I see myself through his eyes. A smallish<br />
seventeen-year-old girl who can't quite catch her breath since her ribs haven't fully healed. Disheveled.<br />
Undisciplined. Recuperating. Not a soldier, but someone who needs to be looked after.<br />
"But I have to go," I say.<br />
"Why?" asks Coin.<br />
I can't very well say it's so I can carry out my own personal vendetta against Snow. Or that the idea of<br />
remaining here in 13 with the latest version of Peeta while Gale goes off to fight is unbearable. But I have no<br />
shortage of reasons to want to fight in the Capitol. "Because of Twelve. Because they destroyed my district."<br />
The president thinks about this a moment. Considers me. "Well, you have three weeks. It's not long, but you<br />
can begin training. If the Assignment Board deems you fit, possibly your case will be reviewed."<br />
That's it. That's the most I can hope for. I guess it's my own fault. I did blow off my schedule every single day<br />
unless something suited me. It didn't seem like much of a priority, jogging around a field with a gun with so many<br />
other things going on. And now I'm paying for my negligence.<br />
Back in the hospital, I find Johanna in the same circumstance and spitting mad. I tell her about what Coin<br />
said. "Maybe you can train, too."<br />
"Fine. I'll train. But I'm going to the stinking Capitol if I have to kill a crew and fly there myself," says<br />
Johanna.<br />
"Probably best not to bring that up in training," I say. "But it's nice to know I'll have a ride."<br />
Johanna grins, and I feel a slight but significant shift in our relationship. I don't know that we're actually<br />
friends, but possibly the word allies would be accurate. That's good. I'm going to need an ally.<br />
The next morning, when we report for training at 7:30, reality slaps me in the face. We've been funneled into<br />
a class of relative beginners, fourteen- or fifteen-year-olds, which seems a little insulting until it's obvious that<br />
they're in far better condition than we are. Gale and the other people already chosen to go to the Capitol are in a<br />
different, accelerated phase of training. After we stretch--which hurts--there's a couple of hours of strengthening<br />
exercises--which hurt--and a five-mile run--which kills. Even with Johanna's motivational insults driving me on, I<br />
have to drop out after a mile.<br />
"It's my ribs," I explain to the trainer, a no-nonsense middle-aged woman we're supposed to address as<br />
Soldier York. "They're still bruised."